audaces fortuna juvat ★

there was a time when i could waste my time living vicariously through someone else’s eyes. their life, their style, i could dive in for hours on end until midnight. my phone screen lit up against the whiteness of my room’s walls, i would watch and study how aesthetic their life seemed to be.

unfortunately i do not have the time to waste time anymore. i have to live through my own eyes, my own aesthetic, my own world.

i’ve been thinking, lately, that scarcity, when you can afford it, is a lost art. we are always overstimulating our brains. more caffeine (for some of us), more music, more videos, more tv shows, more movies, more social media. more pictures, more, more, more.

less is always more. but nothing is, sometimes, just as good.

★ i’ve been thinking a lot about my dream day as i haven’t had one in literally forever. so here how it goes: i wake up, drink tea or coffee. the usual, right? no. because then, i watch a video or, even better, a movie. for me, watching a movie in the morning is the real luxury. only after that do i get ready, dressed to either go out, have a nice walk, or go buy something or simply stay at home: reading, making music, writing, studying for personal hobbies.

in about a month, i should be able to have such a dream day. 🥹

i’m starting to dream again. ★

as of late: lots of reading both for academic and personal reasons. new white shirts that are just perfect for this scorching hot weather. listening to tame impala. trying to find reasons to be grateful and happy. ★

no one asked for this but here’s a list of my favorite poets ★

- rainer maria rilke

- walt whitman

- bukowski

- charles beaudelaire

- khalil gibran (♡)

- edgar allan poe

received what’s probably going to be my favorite top for the summer + my new favorite perfume (smells like vanilla ahhh i love it) ★

★ it never feels okay. there is always something else to do. there is always another task that feels urgent. there's never enough time. I feel it all and nothing at the same time. it all goes by so fast I can hardly catch the small moments in my life, in my day, when I remember I feel alive. when I remember I'm just a soul bound to this body by some twist of fate. that there is more to all of this than a to-do list. I am never content for there is always something else to do.

sooo… this week was almost worse than the last. very tough few days. i will not look back fondly upon this part of my life but knowledge is forever and sadness is temporary. so i’ve still managed to learn more about fate and mythology and it’s been my only source of pleasure, honestly.