It must be nice to laugh and cry.

The flash of a blade to her throat was more than enough to draw Selena back to earth. She listened silently as Beruka spoke, lips pursed.

“Mutual improvement,” she murmured, tone as though it were a foreign concept. Why would she want to waste her energy bettering someone other than herself? There was no benefit to her if Beruka gained skill!

…Lady Camilla would benefit, though. Two stronger retainers was certainly better than one. To Selena, Lady Camilla’s safety was of utmost importance. If she and Beruka improved, they could work together to keep her safe, without worrying the enemy would overpower them. Was that not important? Was she being selfish, only worrying of her own gain?

Beruka’s further words drew her attention once more.

“No, it didn’t. Maybe you should just stop having poison around!”

Beruka was surprised when Selena didn’t protest. Whether it was because Beruka had scared her or because her words sunk in remained to be seen. Either way, she thought it only fair for her not to argue in turn.

“Perhaps. It is a remnant of a life I have thrown aside.” Had she, though? Even in a duel she was still reliant on knives and tricks. To this day, she unnerved others, and others confounded her. Was the poison part of that? Everything she held onto to stay immune?

“Ugh, I don’t want to replace you, I want to be better than you!”

Beruka just wasn’t understanding, she supposed. Lady Camilla of course needed two retainers, both capable and strong. But Selena had to prove she was the better of the two - because she was! And she deserved it to be recognized!

With a sigh, she slid her sword back into its sheath, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I guess we’re both too stubborn. But you have to admit I beat you in that match!”

After Selena sheathed her sword, Beruka waited several moments before lowering her axe. She approached with a straight face. In one fluid motion, she had a knife pointed at Selena’s throat. 

She did not keep it there, only brandished it to make her point before again concealing it. She stepped back again out of range of any similar tricks.

“I have to admit no such thing. You sheathed your blade. Were this a real fight, you might be dead, despite your ability.” Selena was capable, yes, but if she kept worrying about her position, Beruka was concerned about what could happen to her.

“If we both maintain our position, there is no need for a superior. Our efforts are better spent on mutual improvement.” She grimaced slightly as she remembered the stakes that had drawn her to accept this silly match.

“We are not!”

Despite her words, Selena took a step back, sword lowering slightly. She was beginning to recognize her opponent was just as skilled as her - she couldn’t maintain her lead of sheer energy forever, and Beruka’s slight disadvantage would be over.

Still ready to deflect a blow but not actively on the attack, Selena gave herself a moment to wipe the sweat from her brow, frowning at her coworker.

“Just admit it, I’m the better retainer! Lady Camilla dotes on me, and I’m obviously the strongest.”

It didn’t seem worth pointing out the way Camilla doted on her. It wasn’t relevant. Still, the thought threw her off just enough, staying the instinct to chase after an opponent with her guard down. Instead she took the time to step back again, maneuvering so that if Selena went on another offensive Beruka wouldn’t be so easily boxed into a corner.

“Ugh, lose already!”

She hadn’t expected an easy battle from Beruka - her coworker was extremely talented. But Selena had absolutely no intention of losing. Proving her worth against her fellow retainer, to herself and to Lady Camilla, was important. She knew she was the superior soldier. And maybe her arms were burning, and maybe her hair was sticking to the sweat on her face (ew), but she would persist until she won. It wasn’t optional!

With a hard blow, she swung her sword out, hoping to catch Beruka off balance with the weight behind it. Once she stumbled, it wouldn’t be hard to knock her off her feet. If she fell to the ground, it was over - Selena would have her beat.

Beruka’s defensive stance paid off when Selena continued the onslaught with the expected strength and speed. She caught the blow and dug in until the last moment, when she shifted backward. But it wasn’t enough to keep away from Selena, and she had no time to swing her bulkier weapon. If this continued, she would get stuck in a corner eventually.

Selena bit back the urge to remind Beruka that she wasn’t an assassin anymore. Her attention was much more drawn to the axe swinging in her direction. However, she’d watched Beruka in battle - she knew the other retainer was likely to start hot at first and back off if she needed to. Though she wasn’t surprised at Beruka’s skill, she was irritated; it seemed her victory was going to be much harder won than she anticipated. It was of little import in the end. No matter how well Beruka fought, Selena was the better retainer and better at battle. She’d win this sparring match (there was no way she could lose!) and prove to Lady Camilla how worthy she was.

As Beruka drew back, Selena watched, though her blade took no such rest. A direct slash toward Beruka’s chest - a hard move to back away from, but one easy to stop should Selena need to. She had no desire to actually harm her friend, after all.

“Wuh- hey!”

Selena scrambled backwards out of the way as Beruka swung the axe. Quickly she drew her sword, holding it in front of her chest protectively.

“No fair, you didn’t give me any warning!”

Despire the horribly unjust beginning, Selena easily fell into the rhythm of a spar, deflecting swings that came her way and countering with strikes of her own. It became obvious that Beruka was no easy win - but she had no intention of losing the match.

“Getting tired yet? ‘Cause I’m not!”

“Assassins give no warning.” Nor did they speak while they worked. She ignored Selena’s question as she dodged Selena’s attacks, easing up on a pure offense in favor of watching her for weak points. It took all of her concentration to do so without being compromised herself. Of course Selena would never have become one of Camilla’s top retainers were she not skilled. It had been a boon to Beruka on the battlefield many times. Now it was only an obstacle.

“So you’re, like, poisoning yourself to get immune? You can’t just do that! Gawds!”

Selena crossed her arms and fixed Beruka with a sharp glare, hoping her fellow retainer could feel it. As much as she longed to be superior, she saw Beruka as a friend. The last thing she wanted was for someone she cared about to accidentally hurt themselves while poisoning themselves on purpose…

It hurt her head to think about too much.

“New deal, then. I win, you get rid of those stupid poisons. I mean it! Totally gone!”

She uncrossed her arms for long enough to fully gesticulate how Beruka would dispose of them.

“I lose, I’ll ignore it or whatever. For now, as long as no one gets hurt.”

It wouldn’t do for something to happen and Lady Camilla think them both irresponsible. It really wouldn’t do for one of the children to find them and drink some.

“Why can’t I? It is a standard practice. It is much better to suffer the effects on one’s own terms than to succumb entirely to an enemy.”

Granted, Beruka’s line of work no longer brought her into contact with as many poisons as a matter of course, but long ago Camilla had ordered her to live. She would not allow herself to be caught off guard by any assassin that targeted Camilla or herself.

“My only reward for winning is that you stop tampering with my belongings?” An incentive, yes, but only Selena would think that was an even bargain.

Well, Beruka had never dealt with fairness. And she could at least trust Selena to honor her side of the arrangement. All she had to do was win.

“Deal.”

“Hey, don’t give me that look!” Selena snapped, crossing her arms and finally plopping down to sit beside Beruka.

“I was worried you were gonna hurt someone or something! Why do you keep so much poison if you’re not taking contracts anymore? Huh?”

It was perfectly reasonable in her mind - Beruka had something dangerous without a good reason, and so Selena had made it safe. Their liege hadn’t issued any orders to poison anyone, and Beruka’s life as a street assassin was over. If that poison was going to use, it would be on someone in the army. That could not happen.

As much as she trusted Beruka, she didn’t want those used on anyone. And with the children some members of the army had, keeping them wasn’t safe.

“Why do you try to be the best at all things, even if they have no bearing on your duty?”

She closed her eyes. It was not really an answer, but Selena’s question had caught her off guard. She wasn’t taking contracts, wasn’t supposed to hurt people anymore, but some habits never broke. It wouldn’t do to have Selena thinking her a potential traitor, or continuing to sabotage her supplies.

“I gained immunity to all manner of poisons when I was a child. But I was only exposed to poisons from Nohr and occasionally its neighbors. You’ve seen the gates to other worlds--sometimes I learn of new poisons. So I collect them.”

Selena sighed loudly before running a hand through each pigtail and trying again.

“Fine. If you win, I will actually stop watering down the weird poisons you keep in the armory tent.”

…Thinking harder, she realized Beruka probably hadn’t known that was her. Unfortunate that she’d outed herself, but whatever. It was concerning just how potent those things were - why did Beruka even need them? She never took contracts anymore!

“Ugh, just agree already! This is so frustrating!”

She had just wanted to spar. When had it gotten so complicated?

After barely looking at Selena since her entrance, Beruka looked up sharply. “You are the one doing that? I thought it was an enemy trying to sabotage me.”

This could be a reason to fight, finally, but she did not acknowledge that yet. She was more concerned with the revelation. “Explain yourself. What reason do you have to tamper with my supplies?”