please eat me

A - Aftercare = (what they’re like after sex)

He needs to have a cigarette. He has quit and picked it up. A vicious cycle. But he's very fond of rose cigarettes. The herbs and menthol remind him of the tobacco he misses. After a drag he's checking on you and making sure you're okay. Of course, avoiding blowing smoke in your face.

B - Body part = (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part would be his hands. He's ambidextrous and can swap hands for any task. While holding your hand and kissing your fingers, he can simultaneously mark the incorrect answers on student papers.

His favorite part of you are your legs. He's a classy man. He could never resist the finest parts of the human body. The shape and length, he's especially fond seeing them bare and parted for his pleasure. But even when you dress up he can't help but let his eyes wander.

C - Cum = (anything to do with cum basically)

He's a lot messier than you would think. He has a fondness for fruits so his semen tends to be sweet. Unless he's been drinking, then it has a more bitter taste. It's thick from his lack of consistent release. And it's on the stickier side. He does like the visual of you swallowing, but he never wants to make you. He did have a spike of curiosity and has tasted himself. It's not very good in his humble opinion.

D - Dirty Secret = (a dirty secret of theirs)

This is a personal desire he has. He isn't very ashamed but it's not something he'll openly share with you. He needs to keep up mystique and nonchalance.

He wants to walk you around in public like a dog. Exhibitionism is against the law. And having you nude on a leash would attract horrified and amazed looks. You would be such a good puppy for him. Yipping and barking, sniffing people's hands when they go to pet you. He trained you so well! But this is just a mental fantasy. He could never put you in such a humiliating situation in good faith. Especially knowing people will recognize the both of you on your walk. He is content with walking you around his home where there are no prying eyes. But that's as far as he'll go.

E - Experience = (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

He's 35. I can assure you that you're not the first partner he's had. Divus does prefer someone who knows what they're doing. Having to train a virgin can be troublesome and frustrating. He's done it before, he'd rather not do it again. But, on the chance that you have no experience, he will do his best to be patient with you. Sex isn't as magical as it may seem in porn. It's not the mess of sweat and skin in books. He's an amazing teacher, letting you lead where you feel comfortable. Despite his eye rolling, he's actually very kind to you.

F - Favorite Position = (exactly what it says)

As much as I want to say 'Doggy Style' I actually have to say 'Prone Bone'. Sometimes I can see him as an enjoyer of 'The Butterfly' but it depends... I think he prefers positions where the two of you can kiss and see each other's face. He likes how your eyes flutter in pleasure, sometimes he holds your throat in his hand. Not to choke you, but to feel your pulse flutter beneath his palm. If he did it Doggy Style, he'd have to make you look back at him. Which is fine... Sometimes... In Prone Bone he can tuck an arm underneath your head and kiss you as he fucks you. And it feels good feeling his weight pressing you against whatever surface you picked!

G - Goofy = (are they more serious in the moment? are they more humorous?)

He's not one to laugh during sex. Take this seriously... If you do have the giggles he might play along with you since you're his sweet puppy. He'll rest his hands on his hips with a roll of his eyes. But you can see the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile.

H - Hair = (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?)

He's very vain when it comes to his outer appearance. Even below the belt matters. I think that he does keep things neat and tidy down there. If he was bold enough, he would start doing highlights on his pubes. He does trim them himself and dislikes letting them get wild and out of control.

I - Intimacy = (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect?)

For a long time his partners were just sex friends. He had no interest in long term commitment. People come and go. He has softened with time and he does enjoy your company. The first few times you have sex, he does think to himself that eventually this relationship will end. You'll come and go just like the others. But while dating and getting closer and closer, his thrusts and soft kisses start to feel less like this is mechanical and carnal, and more like he wants his body to melt with yours.

J - Jack Off = (masturbation headcanon)

Divus will masturbate when necessary. Divus deals with a lot of stress at work. He's taking care of rowdy classrooms, the Headmage's antics, the Science Club and any unauthorized experiments. He's very pent up. He does sigh with discontent each time. Promising himself that he'll do this more often to avoid getting his fingers all messy. (he does not)

K - Kink = (one or more of their kinks)

If it wasn't obvious before, he loves pet play. He also loves Master and Pet! No they are not the same. On special days, he has a special collar for you. Little floppy puppy ears that match your hair and a cute tail that seems to wag with a touch of magic. Divus has you crawling around and doing tricks for treats. He pats his thigh for you to rest your head there so he can pet you. Feeling your skin beneath his fingers while he sips his coffee. Such a good puppy you are! And good dogs always get rewarded.

But if you're a bad dog... He has lots of ways to train you and correct the behavior. He's very creative with his punishments. So be careful...

L - Location = (favorite place to do the do)

He prefers you come back to his place. Having sex at his place of work, or in his back seat, would just frustrate him. He's fine with a couch or a bed in a more mundane setting. And you'll have to work him up to accepting sex in one of his cars... That leather is imported...

M - Motivation = (what turns them on, gets them going?)

Bad dog! He loves disobedience. I can't exactly call him a brat tamer, but he loves when you're a little more difficult than usual. He takes that as a sign you're pent up and needy for his attention. Or even when you're mad at him for whatever reason. There's nothing that make-up sex can't fix.

N - No = (something they wouldn’t do, turns offs)

This is for your safety and his. Divus loves road head... As a fantasy.

This is very dangerous. Sexual acts while driving can cause a lot of accidents. But sometimes when he's taking you on a ride or the two of you are going away on vacation in the mountains; he does daydream about holding onto your head as you suck him off. Your lips closed around his tip while he focuses on keeping his hands steady on the wheel. But this is something he can't ask for. He can't endanger you both for the sake of perversion.

O - Oral = (preference on giving or receiving, skill, ect.)

Divus has a preference for receiving than giving. He loves being inside of your mouth. Don't worry about your lack of skill, he'll teach you what to do and how. But he's not against giving. Having his mouth between your thighs is leaving your hips bucking as you pull at his hair. His mouth that usually spits insults and orders has shown you pleasure you once thought impossible to reach. This isn't a service he provides often. But if you ask nicely, he's happy to oblige.

P - Pace = (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

He enjoys taking his time with you. Feeling your inner walls and teasing your body. Listening to all the sounds you make when his hips meet yours. Divus can be rough but it's a rare occurrence. He doesn't want to hurt or bruise you. But if you push him there; you can expect to finish up with wobbling legs and weak knees.

Q - Quickie = (their opinions of quickies, how often, etc.)

It's not his cup of tea. He's very busy and he has to set an example for the good dogs in his classroom. If he shows up late and flustered, adjusting his tie and pulling on his collar to hide hickeys; what kind of professor would he be? A very salacious one that get's rumors spread that he has a partner somewhere. And that's a no-no!

R - Risk = (are they game to excitement? do they take risks, etc.)

It would depend on what you mean by 'risk'. That can entail many things including life threatening situations. If you want to try new positions or things that may be a little more saucy he doesn’t mind! But don’t ask him to put out a cigarette on your chest he would clutch his metaphorical pearls.

S - Stamina = (how many rounds can they go for? how long can they last?)

He’s not a machine, he’s just a man… Usually he’s a one and done but he does love foreplay. Kissing and touching with dirty talk can make sex feel like it lasted hours. Getting you nice and riled up before the real thing. He does get a little winded afterwards. Other than bad stamina he doesn’t have the best lungs.

T - Toys = (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themself?)

A vibrator that looks like a dogbone could be cute. And he does enjoy the occasional crop or paddle. If you buy toys to pleasure yourself; please show him! He’d love to take notes on your technique.

U - Unfair = (how much they like to tease)

Teasing is a waste of time. He’s very direct about what he wants and you should be too. Beating around the bush is childish. You’re an adult aren’t you? Speak like one.

V - Volume = (how loud are they? what sounds they make, etc.)

He does have a nice growl in his voice when he’s pumping in and out of you. Huffing and panting and moaning. The sounds are pretty soft and they tickle your skin. He doesn’t want to be too loud, even if you are staying at his place.

W - Wild = (a random headcanon on the character)

Divus has always had more of an interest in casual relationships. Sex is carnal and has nothing to do with love. Two dogs having sex in an alleyway don’t love one another. They act on instinct. He’s gone a long time being satisfied with flings and ‘friends’ who would sometimes stay beneath the covers. He expected you would end up the same. A face and nameplate attached only to his late night memories of sharing a cigarette and winding down. But he realized quickly he doesn’t really care about having sex with you.

He just likes you because… You’re you.

X - X-ray = (lets see what's going on under those clothes)

Stripping Professor down to his socks! I think he has a nice looking cock. It’s a little tan in color with a orangey warm tint. It gets flushed at the tip and based on geography and what we can take from the Queendom of Roses; he is not circumcised. He’s more of a grower than a shower so when you’re kissing and you see his cock your eyes widen as it seems to lengthen and thicken like magic. It has a nice curve to that slams into all of the best spots inside of you. The underside of his cock is way more sensitive than his tip so please be careful with where you place that tongue…

If I was feeling freaky I would say he’s a dog beastman in disguise via transformation potion and give him a knot. But that’s not true… But imagine if he had a knot… For fun…

Y - Yearning = (how high is their sex drive?)

Because he's so busy he often loses track of how often or little the two of you have sex. He’ll wake up one day and realize the reason he’s so stressed out is because he’s pent up. What do you mean you two haven’t had sex since last month. You can always take charge and lead into sex. He likes it when you make it known that you want him!

Z - Zzz = (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

During meetings, he’s sticking his gloved fingers into your mouth, pressing down on your tongue. Twisting and pulling it, leaving you to slobber all over that sheer designer lingerie he’s picked out for you. The moist fabric clings onto your skin, a tantalising view.

Crewel never forgets to remind you how you treat him so well, muttering and groaning into your ear as his hips subtly grind against your own, pulling you into his lap. He has some dignity, at least during meetings, where the most he’ll do is slip his fingers against your crotch. Rubbing and teasing, making you gasp, upper body falling limp against the table.

There’s a part of you that feels repulsed. A sick bile gathering at the very back of your throat, disgust flowing through your veins. You know that this is wrong, and his hands feel like poison against your skin, burning and hissing into your very soul.

But then Crewel slips a pink pill past your lips, and all you can think about is him, and that pulsating warmth gathering in your nether regions. You’re immediately consumed by your most base, animalistic instincts to hump against his thigh, drooling all over his neck.

Crewel likes good dogs.