he's got it

           Life is good! Yeah! Life is wonderful. Life is swell! Life is the best when you’re locked out of your apartment in nothing but your boxers. Life is neat-o when your boxers are white and scattered with cartoon pickles.           Life is hot shit when you’re a dumb motherfucker and it seems like a good idea to shimmy your ass down to the mailbox in those embarrassing things.           Life rocks your socks when you’re drunk (when aren’t you?) and banging on your apartment door as if someone was inside. There isn’t. Grandma is working late. All the banging brings a person out of their apartment. Or were they a visitor? And were they already there? Sage squints through the dark, face contorting as he tries to make out the face. Who the fuck!

           Listen… he says, “I’m not a big fat idiot.” But his situation tells the story itself. “If I could just—” if you could just what, Sage!?           ” —If I could just get inside and…” his arms wave about animatedly, wildly, with his gaze flickering between the stranger and the entrance of his humble abode. “I’ve got a plan. let me onto your balcony, then I’ll jump from there to mine.” Is his balcony door unlocked? Who knows! Is this person even his neighbor? They could totally live two doors down. Hey, maybe more! Well… parkour, am I right!?