Know Hope

You don’t want to talk to me anymore. My phone screen lights up and it’s never you. You aren’t excited to see me anymore. I’m trying to get used to the fact that it will never be the same again.

“In my head, I know that it was for the best. I know that if he didn’t even try to fix things, then he wasn’t worth it, that he didn’t deserve me. I know that I will find someone else so much better than him. I know that he will never find another girl that will love and hold onto him as much as I did. I know that if he ever comes back, I can’t let him come back. I know all these things, yet my heart can’t drop my feelings for him. I know all these things, yet I’m suffocating.”

“You deserve more of their attention than their phone does. You deserve quality time, not just time. You deserve effort, not just routines. You deserve to be treated as if you are a priority, not the last thing on their checklist. You are special and you deserve to be the only option. If that is too much to ask, you are asking it from the wrong person.”

“The truth is that I’m afraid to dive into someone new. How can I not be? I’m still emptying my lungs from the last time I fell into someone’s waters and explored the depths of them. It’ll be years before I’m done wringing the wetness out of my hair, before I stop smelling the salt of their oceans on my skin. Learning someone new is frightening now. It’s not the adventure it was before. I’m no longer bitter for my heartbreak. My reluctance isn’t a decision I made with a sour mouth. I’m just exhausted by the idea of feeling for someone new. Of treading water with small talk and stories about our childhoods. When I think of him, I am afraid of sinking so deeply into someone again that I am lost to them. In that, I realize I am most afraid that I won’t sink at all. That I’ll always be treading water with anyone that isn’t him. That anyone after him will only know how to meet me at the surface.”

Peter(raises his hand in the back): “…My homecoming date‘s dad turned out to be my arch nemesis and a building fell on me!“

T’Challa: My dad died, too.

Starlord: My dad turned out to be this giant, planet eating god and tried to kill me so I had to kill him.