in a way dezzie and wyatt were a lot alike . they didn’t like too much attention on themselves , if any , but the difference in that was that dezzie would put everyone in front of herself . she’d find the good in every single person and she’d put them first . wyatt didn’t do that . wyatt saw the ugliness in everyone and everything , ( especially himself , ) there were only a few people that that ugliness didn’t show up for and it was those people that wyatt would put before himself . wyatt kept to himself because he was selfish , not because he wanted to focus on anyone and everyone else . he was selfish because he felt like he was better off not known . he was better off hidden . nothing could hurt him if he was hiding all the deepest parts of him . sure , he had this thought that his issues weren’t worth it , that he was saving people time by not speaking about it but again it all came back to this selfishness in him . it all came back to his own fears . his issues weren’t worth it because he wasn’t worth it . he was saving peoples time because he was worried they’d find him a waste of time . it all came back to him and that was the honest truth . as much as he’d like to believe he was more selfless , he wasn’t . he was more selfish , stubborn , and prideful than selfless . as much as he’d like to believe that he was more like dezzie who so willingly threw herself on the train tracks to save everyone else . that held her tongue because she wanted others to focus more on themselves than her … that wasn’t him . or maybe he was just hard on himself and couldn’t began to believe that he was anything but selfish . he couldn’t see himself as anything other than something bad , something ugly . he grew up with ugliness around him , he was raised by the hands of those ugliest , wouldn’t it make sense for him to be the same ?
keeping his eyes down on their hands as she bandaged it up , wyatt clinched his jaw a little due to the shoots of pain he felt go up his arm when his hand was being messed with . not that dezzie wasn’t being gentle , she was doing great . but … his fingers were broken , there was no getting away from the healing process of pain . pain was all part of it and he knew that better than anyone . he knew a thing or two about feeling pain and healing from it , at least when it came to the outside . when it came to the inner pain that suffocated him … he hadn’t quite figured that one out yet . ( honestly , that was something he wasn’t sure he’d ever figure out . ) he didn’t have that much hope in himself .
glancing back up at her , wyatt couldn’t help but bring up his free hand and place it on top of hers as she was wrapping his hand . more so trying to get her to stop focusing on wrapping his hand and more so focus in on him . “ hey , “ the male spoke softly , he didn’t know why but there was something about her words that broke his heart . maybe it was the fact that she was putting so much worry and so much trust in someone like him ? someone that no matter how hard he tired not to , he disappointed people . although , he knew dezzie , he knew she’d always been like this but there was something about this time … and him blatantly lying to her face … making promises that he probably couldn’t keep … that hurt him . ( possibly because he was thinking about possibly hurting her . ) but there was that pride again telling him he couldn’t admit , not even to the person that had known him longest , he couldn’t admit that he wasn’t okay and that it felt like nothing would be okay . “ you won’t see me like this again , okay ? “ he attempted to smile . “ now chin up , kid . “ wyatt teased , raising his hand up and putting his index finger under her chin , he tapped it a couple time . “ you really think i’d wanna face the wrath of dezzie loveless ? i know i’m a little off my rocker but i know better . “ and in a way , he felt like he was making a promise to her that he’d do his best to stay away from fenix . although , would he keep it ? like stated before , he had a knack for disappointing people .
the fact that they were so much alike was something dezzie had thought of often. she believed it was what made them so close. it was almost as if they knew what each other were thinking before the thought even had time to process. perhaps that was why she was so protective of him, because she saw pieces of herself in him. it was weird though, because in all reality, dezzie did hate herself. she hated herself for not being enough for her father to stick around, and hated herself for letting certain situations happen in the first place. but, yet she loved those parts of wyatt. maybe that’s why it was so easy for them. sure, they were normally sarcastic with one another, but it was just easier that way for them, at least that’s how she saw it. even in their sarcastic moments, they could see past it and get the small bits of truth that dimmed through their words. it was refreshing, because at the end of the day she knew that at least one person in the world understood her, even if she wished he didn’t. because they maybe, he could love himself and see just how much he truly deserved. but then again, dezzie was selfish in that light, because then he wouldn’t be around her. he’d finally see that she was just some stupid girl who wasn’t going anywhere in life. in fact, she didn’t even know where she wanted it to go. she worked at the diner, and that was as far as she ever got. the girl knew that if he ever did realize he deserved the world, and far greater things than cornell could offer, she’d obviously have to go. because she was stuck here, and cornell would always have it’s grasp on her.
his words struck her like ice through her chest. while most would take that as a comfort, dezzie knew him better than that. the boy was a gluten for punishment, and would take it wherever it was dished out. it was something she’d come to realize about the other in the long while that they’ve known each other. so instead of thanking him for his comfort, she frowned at him. “don’t you dare say it like that either. i know what that means, wyatt. that’s not a ‘i’ll be okay, this won’t happen again’ that’s a cope out in saying that even if it happens you won’t let me see it.” she huffed, her eyebrows knitting together. “and fuck, i might get mad but don’t fucking push me out because of it. i’ll get over it, no matter what, but let me be there for you.” she could have been wrong, but that’s what it felt like, and that hurt her worse than anything to think that he would go to someone else, or suffer in silence by himself.
she rolled her eyes as he called her a kid, playfully swatting his hand away. “i’m not the kid, mr.barely legal to drink.” she said, sticking her tongue out at him. sure, if the two stood next to each other, the height difference alone would make anyone believe dezzie was definitely the younger of the two, but she held pride in the fact she was two years older then him. it made it so easy to tease him about it. “keep calling me kid, and i’ll make sure you do face that wrath.” she teased, a laugh leaving her lips before she went to finishing up his hand. dezzie reached her arm around, pulling it across one last time before securing the wrap in place. “there, perfect. now please, do not take this off. if it starts hurting, just use icy hot, or go between an ice pack and heating pad. i might be able to get my mom to get you some low grade pain killers from the hospital if you need. she’d definitely do it if i told her it was for you.”