TAKE OFF YOUR GLASSES ✩ P. SUNGHOON
SYPNOSIS sunghoon is quiet, careful, and used to keeping people at a distance—until you walk into his life and make everything feel easier than it ever has before. but something that easy isn’t supposed to last- not without breaking first. one careless misunderstanding, one sentence taken the wrong way, and suddenly everything shifts. some feelings don’t fade just because you stop talking about them, and some people don’t stay gone, no matter how hard you try to let them.
GENRE slownburn, fluff, angst, hurt x comfort, college au, friends to lovers, romcom
PAIRING nerd!sunghoon x fem!reader
WARNINGS mentions of alcohol, alcohol consumption, nerd boy experiencing emotions for the first time and NOT handling it well, reader is a bit oblivious, awkwardness, secondhand embarrassment, reader has blue eyes, hyperfixation, hoon overthinking every micro-interaction, clumsiness, teasing , deflecting, acts of service as a love language, emotional wall, anxiety, he is a GENTLEMAN, fear of heights, kissing, withdrawing, emotional shutdown, hurt, slight anger, crying, heavy making out, handjob, oral (both receiving), dirty talk, praise, overstimulation, unprotected sex, let me know if I forgot something!
PLAYLIST babydoll | dominic fike |, pyramids, pink matter | frank ocean |, raindance | dave, tems |, come back | the five stairsteps |, everybody here wants you | jeff buckley |, i only have eyes for you | the flamingos |, back o the old house |, back to the old house | the smiths |, daisies | justin bieber |, xo (only if you say yes) | enhypen |
AUTHORS NOTE i’ve actually been working on this for a while now, like… longer than I expected, but i finally got myself to actually finish and post it, and i’m so excited to share it with you. this is my first long fic like this, so i’m a little nervous about it, but also really really happy i didn’t give up on it. i genuinely hope it turns out well and that you guys enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it 🥹 also pls be a little gentle with me, there might be some miss clicks or mistakes here and there, so i’m sorry in advance!! thank you for reading and for being here, it really means more than you know💌
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music pulsed through the walls, bass vibrating through the floor like a second heartbeat, and the air smelled like cheap alcohol and something overly sweet.
which was exactly why park sunghoon didn’t want to be there.
“hyung, i don’t understand why I had to come,” he muttered, standing stiffly near the kitchen counter, fingers wrapped around a cold bottle of water like it was a lifeline.
next to him, heeseung just laughed, completely unbothered. “because you’ve been locked in our dorm studying biochemistry for three days straight. you needed sunlight. or at least artificial lighting and human interaction.”
“this doesn’t count as human interaction.”
but before heeseung could respond, a familiar voice cut in. “yo! you guys actually came!” jake appeared out of nowhere, already holding two red cups and grinning like he belonged here.
because, of course, he did.
“i told you he’d come,” jake said, nudging heeseung before glancing at sunghoon.
“even if he looks like he’s about to file a complaint with the university.”
“i might,” sunghoon mumbled. jake laughed, then turned slightly, like he suddenly remembered something. or rather someone. “oh- right. i wanted you guys to meet someone.”
sunghoon didn’t think much of it at first. he took a small sip of his water, gaze drifting absentmindedly across the room, but then he saw you. and everything stopped. not literally, the music was still blasting, people still talking, laughing, but for him, it all blurred into something distant and muffled. you stood next to jake, soft brown hair falling just right, blue eyes catching the light in a way that made his brain completely short-circuit. you looked unreal; effortlessly pretty, calm in the middle of chaos. you looked at him and smiled. it was almost like sunghoon forgot how to breathe.
“sunghoon?” he didn’t respond.
you were closer now. way closer. close enough that he could notice the tiny details; the way your lips curved slightly like you knew something he didn’t, the softness in your expression, the faint scent of something clean and warm.
“hi,” you said, tilting your head just a little.
oh. oh no. his brain completely shut down.
“this is sunghoon,” jake said, way too casually. “biochem major. top of the class. socially questionable.” “jake,” sunghoon hissed under his breath, horrified.
you laughed. actually laughed. and it made something in his chest tighten in the worst, best way. “biochemistry?” you repeated, eyes lighting up. “no way, me too!” that got his attention.
“you are?” he said, a little too quickly, voice slightly higher than usual. he cleared his throat. “i mean- uh, i am too. obviously. you just said that. i just—yeah.”
great sunghoon. amazing. incredible first impression.
you stepped a little too close, your fingers brushed lightly against his arm as you leaned in just enough to read the label on his bottle. water? “wow,” you said softly, almost teasing “bold choice at a party.”
“i- uh—i don’t really drink,” he stammered, grip tightening on the bottle. “not that there’s anything wrong with it, i just prefer- hydration.”
hydration??? why the fuck did you just say hydration??
he had solved complex biochemistry problems at 2 a.m. without breaking a sweat, stayed calm during presentations, even answered questions under pressure. and now he was internally falling apart over a single conversation with a girl who had said hi to him ten seconds ago. jake, meanwhile, was pouring something suspiciously strong into your red cup. “don’t worry,” he said. “i’ll make up for him.”
“i can see that,” you replied, accepting the cup, but your attention stayed on sunghoon. which made everything worse. “sunghoon,” you said, testing his name like it was something delicate. his heart did something deeply concerning. you smiled again, slower this time. intentional. “i like that you don’t drink.”
“i mean,” you continued, lightly tapping his water bottle with your finger, “someone has to make responsible life choices.” there was a pause. “…i also just don’t have a high alcohol tolerance,” he admitted, because apparently his mouth had no filter anymore. you let out a small laugh, softer this time. “that’s cute.”
cute. sunghoon’s brain officially stopped functioning. the forming tent in his pants also wasn’t really helping. fuck, you must’ve thought that he was a fucking creep, both hands and the water bottle now infront of his jeans, praying you wouldn’t notice. he swallowed hard, trying to say something, anything, but all that came out was a quiet, “oh.”
from the corner of his eye, he could see heeseung watching this entire interaction with barely concealed amusement. jake too. traitors. but he couldn’t focus on them. not when you were still looking at him like that. not when you hadn’t stepped away. not when your fingers absentmindedly brushed his arm again as you shifted your weight. it was such a small thing, barely anything. but it burned. and suddenly, the party didn’t feel loud anymore. it didn’t feel overwhelming. it just felt- different. because you were here. because you said his name like it mattered. because you smiled at him like you wanted to.
now he was standing in the middle of a crowded party, holding a bottle of water like a prop, trying to act normal, while his thoughts were completely, embarrassingly fixated on a conversation that hadn’t even lasted a minute. he exhaled quietly through his nose.
this was fine. he was fine. everything was fine. …he was absolutely not fine.
he shouldn’t be thinking about you. that was the first thing he told himself as he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark. this was stupid. he had exams. lab reports. a presentation next week. he did not have time to think about- the way you said his name.
“…sunghoon.” he shut his eyes tighter.
or the way you smiled at him. or how your fingers brushed his arm like it was nothing- like it didn’t completely ruin his ability to function for the rest of the night. or how you looked at him. like he wasn’t just some awkward guy holding a bottle of water at a party he didn’t belong at. he turned onto his side, burying his face into his pillow. “get it together,” he muttered.
you were just a girl. a very, very pretty girl who also happened to be in his major. which meant he’d probably see you again.
because no matter how hard he tried- he couldn’t stop thinking about you.
the next time park sunghoon laid his eyes on you wasn’t at a party. it was worse.
it was in a lecture hall. bright, unforgiving lights illuminating every row, every face, every tiny reaction. there was no dim lighting to hide behind, no loud music to blur his thoughts into something manageable, no distractions he could cling to when things became too overwhelming. just rows of students, the quiet hum of conversation, and the sharp, unavoidable reality of being fully perceived.
sunghoon was already seated in his usual spot- third row, slightly to the left, carefully chosen at the beginning of the semester for maximum efficiency. close enough to hear every word of the lecture without straining, far enough to avoid unnecessary attention. his laptop sat open in front of him, a document neatly organized with headings and bullet points, while his notebook rested beside it, aligned perfectly with the edge of the desk. his pen lay straight across the page, like he had everything under control.
he didn’t. not even a little.
he had been writing, something about enzyme kinetics, he thought, but the words had already started to blur together, his focus slipping in a way that was both subtle and alarming. he told himself it was just lack of sleep, just the aftermath of being dragged to that party, just… anything that wasn’t you.
and then the door opened. it was just the quiet creak of the lecture hall door, the kind that barely registered for anyone else. but for some reason sunghoon looked up. and the moment he did, everything else seemed to fall away. it was you.
you stepped into the lecture hall with an ease that made it seem like you belonged everywhere you went, your bag slung casually over your shoulder as your eyes scanned the room for a place to sit. your hair fell softly around your face, catching the overhead light in a way that made something in his chest tighten before he could even process it. there was nothing particularly dramatic about the moment, no slow motion, no sudden silence- but to him, it felt like the entire room had shifted around your presence. his grip tightened slightly around his pen as his thoughts stumbled over themselves.
of course you were here. you were in the same major. the same class. this was inevitable. logical, expected. so why did it feel like this? why did his heart start beating like he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to? why did his mind go completely blank?
you paused near the entrance for a moment longer, still scanning, still searching. and then your gaze landed on him. sunghoon froze. there was a split second- just a fraction of a moment, where he convinced himself you wouldn’t recognize him. that maybe the party had been too chaotic, too insignificant, that he had just been another face in the crowd, another awkward interaction lost in the noise. but then you smiled. not polite. not distant. but warm, recognizing. and you lifted your hand, giving him a small wave like it was the most natural thing in the world. at him. sunghoon’s brain completely shut down.
he stared for a second too long before awkwardly raising his own hand in response, the motion stiff, delayed, like his body was struggling to keep up with what was happening. his fingers felt weirdly heavy, his movements not quite his own.
be normal, he told himself, the thought sharp and urgent.
just be normal. but that became significantly harder when you started walking toward him. because why were you walking toward him? there were empty seats. plenty of them. entire rows, even. you could’ve sat anywhere. but no, you were moving straight toward his table, each step deliberate, effortless, like this decision had already been made before he even had time to process it. like sitting next to him was the obvious choice.
sunghoon straightened in his seat without realizing it, his posture snapping into something far too rigid as he quickly glanced down at his notebook, suddenly very interested in whatever he had written earlier. the words didn’t make sense anymore, the ink blurring together as his focus fractured completely. he wasn’t reading. he couldn’t read. not when you were getting closer. not when he could already feel the shift in the air, the subtle awareness settling in his chest.
you stopped beside him. “hey,” you said softly, your voice cutting through the noise of the room in a way that felt entirely unfair. that was it. that was all it took. everything in his head went quiet. “hi,” he managed after a beat, his voice coming out quieter than he intended, like it had gotten caught somewhere between his thoughts and his mouth.
you adjusted your bag slightly on your shoulder, your gaze flickering briefly to the empty seat next to him before returning to his face. “is it okay if i sit here?” the question was simple. casual. normal. but the way you asked it- like it mattered. like he mattered. and it threw him off completely. sunghoon felt the heat rise to his face almost instantly, the warmth creeping up his neck, settling in his ears as his grip tightened around his pen. for a second, he just looked at you, like his brain needed extra time to process what you had said.
“yeah,” he replied quickly-too quickly-before clearing his throat, trying to steady himself. “yeah, of course. i mean- yeah.”
he nodded once, like that would somehow fix it, like it would make him seem more put together, more coherent. it didn’t. not even slightly.
but you just smiled- soft, easy, like none of it was weird, like he wasn’t completely falling apart right in front of you, and slipped into the seat beside him without hesitation. and just like that, everything shifted again.
sunghoon stared down at his notebook, trying, failing, to refocus as a new kind of awareness settled over him, heavier this time, harder to ignore. he became painfully conscious of every small detail, every tiny movement that suddenly felt amplified beyond reason.
the slight brush of your shoulder as you settled in.
the quiet thud of your bag hitting the floor.
the faint, familiar scent of your perfume- clean, warm, distracting in a way that made it impossible to think clearly.
he swallowed, his fingers tightening slightly around his pen as his thoughts began to spiral again, slower this time, heavier.
just a lecture. just another day. nothing weird. nothing different.
not when you were sitting right next to him. not when he could still remember the way you said his name. not when, somehow, without doing anything at all- you had already completely ruined his ability to focus.
the lecture started like any other.
the professor’s voice carried steadily through the hall, calm and practiced, explaining reaction rates and mechanisms like it was the most natural thing in the world. slides changed in a slow rhythm, equations appearing one after another, filling the screen with information sunghoon would normally absorb without effort.
park sunghoon couldn’t focus at all. not when you were sitting right next to him.
not when every small movement you made registered ten times stronger than anything the professor was saying. the soft rustle of your sleeve as you wrote something down. the quiet tap of your pen against the page when you paused to think. the way your knee occasionally bumped into his under the desk, light, accidental, barely there.
and yet, it felt like too much.
every single time it happened, sunghoon’s entire body tensed for a split second before he forced himself to stay still, eyes locked stubbornly on his notebook like if he just looked focused enough, his brain would follow. it didn’t. because instead of enzyme kinetics, his thoughts kept circling back to you.
you’re right here. you chose to sit here. why did you choose to sit here?
he swallowed, trying to ground himself, pen hovering over his notebook as he attempted to write something, anything, but the words came out uneven, his usually neat handwriting slightly messier than usual.
next to him, you seemed completely fine. like this was just another lecture, just another day.
you were writing quickly, confidently, following along with the example the professor had just started working through on the board.
sunghoon’s eyes flickered to your page. just for a second. and that’s when he noticed it. a small mistake. nothing major- just a tiny miscalculation in one of the steps. something easy to fix. something he would normally ignore because it wasn’t his place to say anything.
he should’ve ignored it. he was going to ignore it. he really, really was- “you made a mistake.”
the words left his mouth before he could stop them. sunghoon froze. his brain immediately caught up a second too late, and the realization hit him all at once.
why would you say that. why would you just blurt that out. what is wrong with you.
he stared straight ahead for a second, like maybe, just maybe, you hadn’t heard him.
but of fucking course you had.
“…what?” you said, turning your head toward him, a small, surprised smile already forming on your lips. and the worst part? you didn’t look offended. you looked amused. that somehow made it ten times worse.
sunghoon swallowed, finally turning toward you, his movements a little stiff, a little hesitant. “I just, uh- this part,” he said, gesturing vaguely toward your notebook, his voice quieter now, like he was trying to undo the damage.
you shifted your notebook slightly toward him without hesitation, tilting it so he could see better. “show me,” you said, like it was nothing. like he hadn’t just embarrassed himself. like you actually wanted him to. that threw him off again. but he leaned in anyway. he had to.
his shoulder brushed against yours as he moved closer, the contact warm, steady, grounding in a way that made his thoughts stutter for a second before completely rearranging themselves. he pointed at the line in your notes, his finger hovering just above the paper as he tried to focus, really focus, on what he was saying.
“it’s just- this value should be adjusted here,” he explained, voice lower now, more stable, slipping into something more familiar. “you carried the number from the previous step, but the condition changes, so you have to, uh, recalculate it like this.”
as he spoke, something shifted. this- this part, he knew. this was safe.this was where he didn’t have to overthink every word, didn’t have to second-guess himself. his explanation flowed more naturally now, quieter but more confident, his finger tracing the logic step by step without hesitation.
“this value here,” he began, his voice lower now, more grounded, “you treated it like it was constant, but it’s not, because the enzyme’s already partially inhibited at this stage.”
you nodded immediately. like you understood. you did not understand. at all.
“but if you look at the conditions from the previous step,” he continued, reaching for his pen after a small pause, “the substrate concentration changes, so the rate isn’t linear anymore. you have to adjust it, otherwise the rest of the calculation doesn’t reflect the actual kinetics.”
oh. okay. you followed the movement of his pen as he rewrote the step, neat, precise, confident.still not getting it.
“but- if the concentration changes,” you said slowly, trying to keep up, “wouldn’t that just… affect the final value? not, like… everything after?”
the second the words left your mouth, you felt it. that slight uncertainty. sunghoon paused. not in a bad way. not judgmental. just… thinking.
“i mean- maybe I’m wrong!,” you added quickly, a quiet laugh slipping out as you looked down at your notes again. “i feel like i’m missing something really obvious.”
“no, you’re not,” he said, quickly. you looked up. but he was already looking at you. closer than you expected.
“you’re not missing something obvious,” he repeated, his voice quieter now, more careful. “it’s just, this part is kind of annoying. they don’t explain it well.” your chest tightened slightly at that. not because of what he said. but how he said it. there was something careful in his tone; something steady, grounding, like he wasn’t just correcting you, wasn’t just pointing out a mistake and moving on. he meant it. you could hear it in the way his voice softened just enough, in the way he didn’t hesitate to reassure you.
like he wasn’t silently judging you the way you half-expected people to when you didn’t understand something right away. and for a moment, that mattered more than the actual explanation. because it made you feel… safe. next to him.
he shifted your notebook slightly again, pulling it just a bit closer between the two of you, his movements subtle but deliberate. as he leaned in, his shoulder pressed more firmly against yours this time, warm, steady, impossible to ignore. the contact lingered, neither of you pulling away, like it had quietly become something natural.
“look,” he murmured, his voice lower now, softer, as if the space between you had shrunk into something private. “if you think about it in terms of how the enzyme behaves instead of just the numbers- it makes more sense.”
his finger hovered just above the page, tracing the logic slowly this time, more carefully than before.
“the inhibition changes how efficiently it works,” he continued, pausing briefly as if choosing the simplest way to explain it, “so every step after that has to reflect it. oherwise you’re just… carrying over values that don’t really apply anymore.”
you watched him as he spoke. not just the words. but everything else.
the way his hand moved with quiet precision, his writing neat and controlled as he adjusted the steps again. the slight furrow in his brows when he concentrated. the way his voice lost that earlier hesitation, settling into something more confident, more certain- like this was the one place he didn’t second-guess himself.
you tried to follow. really tried.
your eyes moved between his writing and the previous steps, your mind working a little slower, piecing things together bit by bit. it didn’t come all at once. it wasn’t instant. but if you really thought about it, which you did- it made sense. not perfectly. not completely. but enough.
“oh,” you breathed out softly, the realization settling in as your gaze flickered across the corrected calculation again, slower this time. “wait… okay.” your lips curved slightly, something lighter easing into your expression. “that actually—yeah, that makes more sense.” relief settled in your chest, quiet but immediate. like something that had been sitting just out of reach had finally clicked into place.
you looked at him again, turning your head just slightly, and your smile softened without you even realizing it. it wasn’t teasing this time, not playful or light, it was genuine, a little brighter, a little more open. “thank you,” you said quietly. and then, without really thinking- “you’re actually really good at this, hoon.” you blushed, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. your voice softer now, gentler, more sincere than anything you’d said to him before.
and that, that completely ruined sunghoon. for a second, he just… froze. not in a subtle way, not in a way he could play off or recover from smoothly, no, it was immediate, total, like his entire system had short-circuited all at once. his hand, which had just been resting near your notebook, stilled completely, fingers tightening slightly like he had forgotten what they were supposed to do next.
the nickname echoed in his head, louder than the lecture, louder than his own thoughts, louder than anything else in that moment. you said it so easily. so naturally. like it belonged to you. and worse- the way you said it. his throat felt dry all of a sudden, his pulse jumping into something uneven, something he couldn’t quite control. heat crept up his neck again, slower this time but deeper, settling into his ears, his face, making it impossible to ignore the way his body reacted before his brain could catch up.
he wasn’t used to this. he wasn’t used to being looked at like that. praised like that. especially not by girls.
“…it’s nothing,” he said quickly, but his voice didn’t come out the way he wanted it to- slightly lower, a little rougher, like it had caught somewhere on the way out. he cleared his throat immediately, trying to fix it, trying to ground himself. “it’s just, basic stuff.”
his thoughts started tripping over each other, messy and loud in a way that made it impossible to focus on anything else. the lecture had completely faded into the background now, reduced to nothing more than distant noise as his attention stayed locked on you, on the way you were watching him, on the softness in your expression, on the fact that you had noticed him. that you thought he was good at something. that you said his name like that.
he shifted slightly in his seat, subtle but tense, like he was trying to physically shake off the feeling settling under his skin, this restless, overwhelming awareness that made it hard to sit still, hard to think straight, hard to do anything except exist in the moment a little too intensely.
get it together. but he couldn’t.
he looked back at the front of the lecture hall quickly, almost abruptly, like the movement itself might help him reset, help him regain some sense of control. his pen moved again across his notebook, writing something, anything, just to have something to do, even though he wasn’t processing a single word the professor was saying. but his mind was still stuck. on you. on the way you said his name. on the way you smiled at him right after. and no matter how hard he tried to push it down, to ignore it, to act like none of it affected him- it did.
way more than it should have.
you noticed him before you really knew him. not in a dramatic way. not like love-at-first-sight or anything cliché like that. just… quietly. the kind of noticing that happens when someone keeps catching your attention without trying to. park sunghoon was, objectively, not the type of person you expected to stand out at first glance. he blended in too well- always sitting in the same spot, always focused, always just a little too composed compared to everyone else around him.
a nerd very obviously. and yet, he was really pretty. like, distractingly so.
it didn’t make sense at first. the way someone could look like that- sharp features, soft eyes, quiet presence, and still be the same person who got flustered over the smallest things. the same person who held a water bottle at a party like it was a personality trait. the same person who couldn’t even handle a simple conversation without short-circuiting halfway through.
you found that part the most interesting. because the more you paid attention, the more obvious it became. the way his ears turned red when you said his name. the way he avoided eye contact for just a second too long before forcing himself to look back at you. the way his voice shifted- slightly quieter, slightly less steady, every time you directed your attention at him. it was subtle. but not to you.
and maybe that was why you kept doing it. the teasing i mean. the small touches. the way you said “hoon” like it was already yours to use. “you’re smiling.” you blinked, snapping out of your thoughts as you looked up to see jake watching you with a knowing expression, one eyebrow slightly raised. “what?” you said, immediately playing it off, leaning back slightly in your seat. jake didn’t look convinced. “you’re smiling,” he repeated, like he had caught you doing something you weren’t supposed to. “i always smile,” you shrugged lightly, glancing down at your drink before taking a small sip, deliberately casual. “not like that,” he said, a grin slowly forming on his face. you narrowed your eyes slightly. “like what?”
“like you’re thinking about something,” he replied easily. “or someone.” you let out a quiet laugh, shaking your head as you looked away for a second, pretending to be more focused on the room around you than the conversation itself. “okay,” you said lightly. “and what makes you think that?” jake leaned back in his chair, clearly enjoying himself now. “i’ve seen you,” he said. that made you pause. “…seen me?” you repeated, glancing back at him. “yeah,” he nodded, way too amused. “in class. with sunghoon.”
you let out a small laugh almost immediately, like it didn’t mean anything. “okay?” you said, tilting your head slightly. “and?”
“and,” jake continued, dragging the word out just a little, “you sit next to him. you talk to him and you laugh.” you rolled your eyes, though there was still a hint of a smile on your lips. “that’s what people do, jake. they sit, they talk and they laugh.”
“yeah,” he said, leaning forward slightly now, lowering his voice just a bit. “but not like that.” you looked at him for a second. “like what?” you asked again, softer this time. jake studied you for a moment, like he was deciding how far to push it, but then he smirked. “he talks about you, you know.” that made something in your chest shift- small, unexpected. but you didn’t let it show. you just laughed. “okay,” you said, shaking your head slightly. “and what does he say?” jake shrugged, clearly entertained. “enough.” you huffed out another quiet laugh, looking away again, like it didn’t matter. like you weren’t even a little curious. like you didn’t already know. “please,” you said lightly. “sunghoon barely talks.”
“that’s what you think,” he shot back immediately, but you didn’t respond to that, you just smiled again, softer this time, eyes drifting somewhere else entirely for a brief second before you caught yourself. jake noticed. of course he did. “so,” he said, casually, like the question didn’t matter at all. “you like him, don’t you?”
and just like that, the question itself made you laugh, like it was a joke hearing it be said out loud, like the answer already didn’t exist. “jake,” you said, shaking your head, cutting him off before it could go any further. “you’re overthinking it.” he didn’t respond immediately. just waited. which made you exhale softly through your nose, your smile still there- but a little thinner now, a little more controlled, like you were holding onto it instead of letting it come naturally.
“it’s not like that,” you added, glancing away for a second before looking back at him. Then you let out a small laugh, light and effortless, like the idea itself was a bit ridiculous. “he’s just… fun to be around.” the words came out easy. too easy. you shrugged lightly, as if you hadn’t thought about it beyond that. “i mean,” you continued, your tone staying casual, almost amused, “he gets all flustered over the smallest things. it’s kind of cute, in a way.” another small sip of your drink followed, your gaze drifting briefly across the room before returning to jake, completely at ease on the surface. “easy to tease, easy to get a reaction out of,” you added with a soft chuckle, shaking your head slightly like you were recalling something mildly entertaining. “it’s kind of fun, honestly.”
jake huffed out a laugh at that, clearly catching onto your tone now. “wow,” he said, leaning back in his chair, grin spreading across his face. “so he’s basically your entertainment.” you let out a short laugh in response, not denying it. “not in a weird way,” you said, still smiling, waving your hand lightly as if to dismiss the idea. “just… he’s not exactly the type you take seriously.”
you said it so casually, like it was obvious. like it didn’t carry anything deeper.
jake raised an eyebrow, amused now rather than suspicious. “damn,” he muttered with a laugh. “you’re brutal.” you smiled faintly at that, shoulders relaxing again as you leaned back slightly. “just being honest,” you said lightly, tone still easy, still unbothered. “just someone to pass time with,” you added with a small shrug, like that was the end of it. and time passed a little too quickly after that night.
you woke up slower than usual, the dull ache behind your eyes settling in before you even fully opened them, like your body was gently reminding you of your own decisions. it wasn’t a full hangover, just enough to make everything feel a little heavier, a little quieter, like your thoughts were moving through fog instead of clarity. you stayed in bed for a while, staring at the ceiling, blinking against the soft light filtering through your window as pieces of the night before drifted back to you in fragments- jake laughing, your own voice a little looser than usual, words coming out easier than they should have.
and then that conversation.
you shifted slightly, turning onto your side, your brows knitting just faintly as something about it lingered longer than the rest. not enough to fully unpack. not enough to sit with. just enough to be there.
“…it’s whatever,” you muttered quietly to yourself, brushing it off almost instinctively, like thinking about it any longer would give it more weight than it deserved. so you didn’t. you got up, got ready, and by the time you stepped outside, the cool air helped clear your head just enough to feel like yourself again, or at least something close to it.
campus was already alive by the time you got there, students moving in loose patterns between buildings, quiet conversations blending into a steady background noise that felt oddly comforting. you walked slower than usual, adjusting the strap of your bag on your shoulder as you made your way across the familiar path, your headache still lingering but softer now, dulled by fresh air and routine. your thoughts drifted aimlessly, not really focused on anything in particular. until they were, because you saw him.
sunghoon stood just off to the side near one of the benches, slightly hunched over as he organized a small stack of books into his bag with that same careful precision you’d started to associate with him. everything about the way he moved was deliberate, slow, neat, controlled- like he was making sure everything fit perfectly, like nothing was allowed to be out of place.
it made you smile without even realizing it. for a second, you hesitated. you could’ve just kept walking, pretended you didn’t see him. but you didn’t want to. so instead, you shifted your direction slightly, your steps quiet as you approached him from behind, watching the way he adjusted one of his notebooks before slipping it into his bag.
“hey hoon.” your voice was soft, casual, but close enough to catch him completely off guard.
he startled immediately. not subtly, no, his entire posture tensed as he turned too quickly toward the sound of your voice, his hand slipping at the worst possible moment as two of his books slid right out of his grip and hit the ground with a dull, awkward thud.
there was a brief pause, but then you laughed. it slipped out before you could stop it, light and soft, your hand coming up instinctively to cover your mouth as your shoulders shook just slightly.
“oh my god, sorry,” you said quickly, still smiling as you crouched down in front of him, reaching for one of the fallen books. “i didn’t mean to scare you that bad.”
sunghoon looked like he had completely lost control of the situation. “i- no, it’s fine,” he said almost immediately, his voice a little rushed as he bent down too, movements slightly uncoordinated now as he grabbed the other book. “i just didn’t hear you, that’s all.”
you glanced at him briefly, amused. “yeah, clearly.” you handed him one of the books, your fingers brushing against his for just a second longer than necessary before you let go. “you’re really jumpy today,” you added lightly, tilting your head just a little as you watched him. “i’m not,” he said quickly, almost defensive, but the faint redness creeping up his ears completely betrayed him.
your smile widened just slightly. “right,” you hummed, unconvinced, letting the teasing linger in your tone as you stayed crouched for a second longer, watching him carefully stack the books again, this time with even more focus, like he was trying to regain some kind of control. you stood up slowly, brushing your hands together as he finally zipped his bag, adjusting the strap over his shoulder like everything was normal again. it wasn’t. “morning, hoon,” you said again, softer this time, like the first one hadn’t been enough.
“…morning,” he replied, quieter now, glancing at you properly for the first time since you startled him. there was a small pause. not awkward, but not entirely comfortable either, just… there. you shifted your weight slightly, studying him for a second, the way he stood just a little too straight, the way his hand lingered near the strap of his bag like he didn’t quite know what to do with it. “how are you?” you asked, your voice easy, natural, like you weren’t watching him react to every little thing you did.
he hesitated. just for a second. “i’m fine,” he said, nodding slightly, like he needed to confirm it to himself as much as to you. “you?”
you let out a quiet breath, rolling your shoulders just slightly. “a little tired,” you admitted, tilting your head back for a second before looking at him again. “jake was… a lot last night.” the moment the name left your mouth, something shifted, subtle, almost unnoticeable, but there. sunghoon’s expression didn’t change much, but his grip on his bag tightened slightly. “oh,” he said, nodding once. “right.” you watched him for a second, then smiled. “but i think i’m better now,” you added casually, your tone softening just a little. he looked at you again. “…yeah?” he asked, quieter. you nodded slightly, taking a small step closer without really thinking about it.
“yeah,” you said, your lips curving just faintly. “seeing you helped.” that did it. sunghoon froze. again. and you, you just watched him for a second longer than you probably should have, your smile soft, almost unreadable. then, like it was nothing, you looked away first. you let the moment sit between you for just a second longer, watching the way he struggled to recover, the way something as simple as your presence seemed to throw him just slightly off balance every time. it wasn’t obvious, not to anyone else, at least, but to you, it was clear as day. the way his shoulders stayed just a bit too tense, the way his gaze flickered before settling, the way he seemed to overthink every response just a little too much.
and for some reason, you didn’t want to leave just yet.
“hey,” you said after a moment, your voice softer now, losing that teasing edge and settling into something more gentle, more genuine. you shifted your weight slightly, adjusting the strap of your bag as you glanced toward the path leading off campus before looking back at him. “do you… have time right now?” sunghoon blinked, caught slightly off guard by the question, like he hadn’t expected the conversation to continue this way. “…right now?” he repeated quietly, his voice careful, like he was making sure he understood you correctly.
you nodded, offering a small, easy smile. “yeah. i was thinking of getting coffee,” you said, tone light but sincere. “you could come with me… if you want.” there was nothing complicated about it. no pressure, no teasing, just an invitation. “oh, uh… yeah,” he said quickly, then paused, clearing his throat as he tried to steady himself, his voice softening just slightly as he corrected himself. “yeah, i can. i don’t have anything until later.” the tips of his ears were already turning red again. you smiled a little at that. “good,” you said simply. “come on.”
the walk felt quiet in a comfortable way, the kind of silence that didn’t need to be filled constantly. you talked here and there, small things, classes, assignments, but it was easy, natural, like neither of you had to try too hard. sunghoon stayed just half a step beside you, always matching your pace, always just slightly aware of where you were. at one point, you shifted your bag, and your hand brushed his, accidental, but noticeable. you didn’t react, just kept walking. but sunghoon did. his entire focus had shifted from the conversation to the exact distance between you, to the way your hand kept brushing his like it meant nothing, like it didn’t completely disrupt his ability to think properly. he kept his gaze forward, trying to act normal, trying to respond when you spoke, but his thoughts kept slipping, circling back to the same thing over and over again.
just walk. just act normal.
he was not acting normal. when you reached the café, sunghoon instinctively stepped ahead just slightly, reaching for the door before you could. he pulled it open, holding it there for you without hesitation.
“go ahead,” he said softly. you glanced at him for a second, a small smile forming as you stepped inside. “thank you,” you said, your voice just as soft. he nodded a little, following after you once you were through, letting the door fall shut behind him carefully before stepping back into place beside you. the warmth inside wrapped around you almost immediately, the quiet hum of conversation and the soft clink of cups filling the space as you both approached the counter. sunghoon stepped forward first.
“hi,” he said politely to the barista, his voice calm, respectful, a complete contrast to how flustered he’d been just minutes ago. “could I please get one americano?” there was a small pause as the barista nodded, entering the order. sunghoon gave a small nod in return. “thank you.” then he stepped slightly to the side, turning his head just enough to look at you. just for a second. like he was checking, waiting. you shifted forward, ready to order, your attention already moving to the menu as you opened your mouth to speak- “and an iced vanilla latte, please ” sunghoon said quietly, just before you could. you blinked, the words catching you off guard just slightly as you turned your head to look at him.
but sunghoon didn’t look back. he was very suddenly focused on anything but you-his gaze dropping somewhere near the counter, then briefly to the card reader, then anywhere that wasn’t your face. the faint flush on his cheeks hadn’t gone away, if anything it had deepened just a little, spreading up toward his ears again like he was fully aware of what he’d just done and didn’t know how to handle the fact that you noticed. you stayed quiet for a second, just watching him. and then, before you could say anything, he was already pulling out his card. “i’ll- uh, i’ll get it,” he said quickly, his voice a little softer now, almost like he was trying to move past the moment before it could become something bigger. “oh, you don’t have to- ” you started, instinctively reaching for your bag. “it’s okay,” he interrupted, not rudely, but gently, firmly enough that it stopped you anyway. he glanced at the barista, offering a small, polite nod as he tapped his card. “i want to,” he added quietly once the payment went through, his tone sincere, practiced. “…thank you,” you said instead, your voice softer now, a little more thoughtful than before. he nodded once, still not quite meeting your eyes.
a few minutes later, drinks in hand, sunghoon led the way to a small table by the window, instinctively choosing a quieter spot away from the busier parts of the café. he pulled the chair out just slightly- subtle, almost like he didn’t even realize he was doing it, and waited for you to sit before taking the seat across from you himself.you set your drink down carefully, fingers still wrapped loosely around the cup as you looked at it for a second, then back up at him. “you didn’t-” you started, a hint of surprise slipping into your voice, your brows lifting just slightly as you looked at him properly now. but he cut you off. “i heard you say it once,” he said quickly, like he had been expecting the question, his words coming out just a little too fast before he slowed himself down. “at the party.”
he hesitated briefly, then added, quieter this time, “you said it was your favorite.” you blinked again. “oh.” he shifted slightly in his seat, his fingers brushing lightly against his cup before he looked down at it instead of at you, like it was easier to focus on something concrete. “i just… remembered,” he added, almost like it wasn’t a big deal. but it was. at least to you. because you hadn’t expected that. not from him. not from someone who barely seemed able to hold eye contact with you for more than a few seconds at a time. and yet- he remembered something that small. something you had said once, casually, without thinking.
you felt the warmth rise to your face before you could stop it, your fingers tightening just slightly around your cup as you looked down for a second, a quiet smile forming without your permission. it was sweet. and for a moment, your thoughts drifted somewhere softer, quieter, lingering on the way he paid attention in ways that weren’t loud or obvious, the way he noticed things without making a show of it, the way he remembered. it wasn’t flashy. it wasn’t bold. but it felt real. and that made it matter more than it probably should have.
“…that’s really nice,” you said after a moment, your voice softer now, more genuine, as you looked back up at him. sunghoon shook his head slightly, almost dismissing it. “it’s nothing,” he murmured.
you didn’t believe that- not really, but you let it go. a small silence settled between you again, this one lighter, more comfortable than before as you took a sip of your drink, the familiar taste grounding you just slightly. sunghoon did the same, though a little more carefully, like even drinking coffee required some level of focus right now.
“…how did you and jake meet?” he asked. the question came out a little hesitant, like he wasn’t entirely sure if he should be asking it, but curious enough that he did anyway.
you glanced at him over the rim of your cup, lowering it slowly. “jake?” you repeated lightly, leaning back just a little in your chair. he nodded, his gaze flickering up to you briefly before dropping again. “yeah.”
you hummed softly, thinking for a second. “we had a class together last semester,” you said, your tone easy, relaxed. “he sat next to me once and just… never left.” a small smile tugged at your lips at the memory.
“he’s kind of like that,” you added. “talks a lot. makes himself comfortable everywhere.” sunghoon nodded slowly, like that made sense. “…yeah,” he said quietly. you watched him for a second, tilting your head just slightly. “why?” you asked, a hint of curiosity slipping into your voice now. “you jealous, hoon?” the nickname came out softer this time.
but he just… froze, his fingers tightening slightly around his cup as his eyes flickered up to meet yours for the briefest moment before immediately dropping again. the reaction was instant, almost instinctive, like his body had already decided for him before his brain could catch up.
it’s not like you guys were anything, just classmates, right?
a slow, obvious blush creeping up his neck, settling across his cheeks, his ears turning red all over again like you’d just said something far more serious than you actually had. “i’m not-” he started, a little too quickly, his voice catching slightly before he stopped himself, exhaling quietly through his nose like he needed a second to reset. “it just… came up,” he said after a moment, quieter now, more controlled but still not quite steady, his gaze fixed somewhere near the table instead of you. “i was just asking.” you hummed softly, leaning back just a little in your chair, studying him like you didn’t entirely believe that. “just asking, huh?” you repeated lightly.
he nodded once, still not looking at you. “yeah.” the way he said it; the hesitation, the way his fingers kept adjusting his grip on the cup, the way his shoulders stayed just a little too tense- made it obvious there was more behind it, even if he wasn’t going to say it out loud. you took a small sip of your drink, letting the silence stretch just slightly, your eyes still on him. “okay,” you said finally, your tone easy again, like you were letting it go. like you weren’t going to push.
he let out the smallest breath at that, barely noticeable, his shoulders relaxing just a fraction. “anyway,” he added after a second, like he needed to move the conversation somewhere safer, somewhere less dangerous. “you said you were tired… was it just because of last night, or-”
“are you always this serious?” you cut in softly, a faint smile tugging at your lips as you tilted your head again, watching him. he blinked, caught off guard. “i’m not-” he started, then paused, clearly reconsidering his words. “…am i?”
“a little,” you said, your voice light, not mocking, just honest. he looked down again, almost sheepish. “…sorry,” he muttered, and that made you laugh. “oh, don’t apologize,” you said, softer now, leaning forward just slightly. “i don’t mind it.” he paused at that. just for a second. like he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it, but then something shifted. it was subtle, so subtle most people wouldn’t even notice, but you did. the tension in his shoulders eased just a little, his grip on his cup loosening as he let out a quiet breath, almost like he was letting himself relax for the first time since you sat down.
“…you don’t?” sunghoon asked, glancing up at you again, this time holding your gaze just a second longer than before. you shook your head lightly, your smile soft, easy. “no,” you said. “it’s kind of… nice.” that caught him off guard again, but differently this time. not in a panicked way. just… surprised. he looked down for a second, a small, almost shy smile tugging at his lips like he was trying not to let it show too much. “i didn’t think anyone would say that,” he admitted quietly. you leaned your chin into your hand, resting your elbow against the table as you watched him. “why?” you asked. “do people usually complain about you being too serious?”
he let out a small breath that almost turned into a laugh. “…not complain,” he said, thinking for a second. “but they don’t usually… notice it in a good way.” you hummed softly, tilting your head just slightly. “well,” you said, your tone thoughtful but still light, “i think it suits you.” that made him laugh, like, actually laugh. the sound was softer than you expected, a little quiet, like he wasn’t used to laughing like that around people, but it was there, and it made something in your chest feel warmer than it should have.
“…that’s kind of a weird compliment,” he said, glancing at you again, his eyes a little brighter now. you smiled, a little amused. “i give weird compliments.”
“i noticed,” he replied, and there was something different in his tone now, lighter, more relaxed, like he was starting to meet you halfway instead of just reacting to you. you raised an eyebrow slightly. “oh? you’ve been paying attention?” that made him hesitate for a second, but instead of shutting down like before, he just huffed out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “…a little,” he admitted. you smiled into your cup, taking a small sip before setting it back down. “that’s good,” you said. “i’d be offended if you weren’t.”
“i am,” he said before he could stop himself. then immediately froze. you blinked. “…you are?” you repeated, amused. he let out a quiet breath, clearly realizing what he’d just said, but instead of completely panicking this time, he just rubbed the back of his neck slightly, looking a little embarrassed. “i mean- i notice things,” he corrected quickly, though the slight smile on his face didn’t quite disappear this time. “not just… you.” you tilted your head, pretending to consider that. “sure,” you said, unconvinced. he shook his head again, a quiet laugh escaping him, and for a moment, he looked… comfortable, actually comfortable.
“so,” you said after a second, your voice softer now, more curious than teasing, “what do you do when you’re not being serious in class?” he blinked at that. then leaned back slightly in his chair, thinking. “…i don’t know,” he admitted after a moment. “study, mostly.” you stared at him. “…that’s still serious, hoon.” he smiled a little at that. “okay, then… i ice skate sometimes,” he added, a little more quietly, like he wasn’t used to bringing it up. “it helps me clear my head.” that caught your attention immediately. “you ice skate?” you repeated, leaning forward slightly now, your expression lighting up just a little. “like, actually?”
he nodded, a little unsure of your reaction. “…yeah.” you smiled. “that’s kind of cool.” he let out another small laugh, shaking his head slightly. “you say everything is ‘kind of’ something.” you shrugged lightly, smiling. “i like leaving room for interpretation.”
“…that sounds like something someone says when they don’t want to fully commit to an opinion,” he said, and there was the smallest hint of teasing in his voice now. you blinked, then laughed. “okay, that was a little mean.” “it wasn’t mean,” he said quickly, though he was clearly amused now. “it was-”
“judgmental,” you cut in.
“observational,” he corrected. you narrowed your eyes at him slightly, but you were still smiling. “wow. you’re getting bold.” he paused. then, just slightly-
“…a little,” he admitted. and this time, he didn’t look away.
sunghoon pushed the door of his apartment shut behind him, the soft click echoing in the quiet space as he exhaled under his breath, already feeling the fatigue settle into his shoulders. the day had been long- classes, walking around campus, the lingering awareness of conversations that kept replaying in his head, but none of that stuck quite as much as the moments that followed him home.
he ran a hand through his damp hair after stepping out of the shower, the towel draped over his head as he gently patted it dry, movements slow, absentminded. the warmth of the water still lingered on his skin, but his thoughts were somewhere else entirely, somewhere that didn’t quite let him relax the way he expected to.
he stared at his reflection in the mirror for a brief second, but his eyes weren’t really focused on himself. they drifted, unfixed, like his mind had already slipped back to earlier that day without his permission. you.
he paused slightly, the towel still in his hands, the corners of his lips lifting before he even realized it. it wasn’t a big smile, nothing dramatic, nothing he’d even admit to out loud- but it was there, soft and quiet, like it appeared on its own without asking for permission. he shook his head faintly, as if that would help clear his thoughts.
instead, your laugh replayed in his mind again, light and effortless, the kind that didn’t feel forced or careful. it had a warmth to it that lingered longer than it should have, the kind of sound that made silence feel less empty afterward. he found himself exhaling softly, almost amused at himself for remembering it so clearly.
and then your expression; it reminded him of little kids, the way their face lights up when someone remembers their birthday when they thought they wouldn’t.the moment you realized he had actually remembered something you said. that slight pause. the way your eyes shifted, just for a second, like you hadn’t expected it.
there had been something in your face then- surprise, yes, but also something softer underneath it. something that made the moment feel… different. more personal than he had anticipated when he first said it. his grip on the towel loosened slightly as he leaned back a bit against the counter, eyes half-lidded now, thoughts no longer scattered but centered on the same person. he let out a small breath, almost like a quiet laugh to himself, though no sound really came out.
“…what is this,” he murmured under his breath, not really expecting an answer. because he already knew. it wasn’t confusing, not really. it just felt new. unfamiliar in a way that made him more aware of things he normally wouldn’t think twice about; the way he paid attention to you, the way his thoughts drifted back to small details, the way your presence seemed to settle somewhere in the background of his mind and stay there.
he had already been in bed for a while, the room dimly lit by the soft glow of his bedside lamp as his phone rested in his hand. the day had finally quieted down, his body sinking into the mattress with a kind of relief that only came after everything else had stopped demanding his attention. he had been scrolling absentmindedly, not really absorbing anything on his screen, his thoughts still drifting back and forth in a slow, unbroken loop- between class, the café, and you.
unknown number: is this sunghoon?
he stared at the text for a moment, blinking once, then once more, his mind immediately trying to place who it could be. it wasn’t a saved contact. it wasn’t familiar. but something about the phrasing… felt oddly specific.
he typed back after a brief pause.
sunghoon: depends on who’s asking.
unknown number: it’s mee, hoon
unknown number: don’t tell me u already forgot abt me
his eyes lingered on the message a second longer than necessary before something in his expression softened almost immediately. a quiet breath left him, the faintest hint of a smile forming at the corner of his lips as he leaned back slightly into his pillow.
a moment later, another message came through.
you: i realized i didn’t really say it properly at the café earlier, but i just wanted to tell you i really enjoyed today!
you: talking to you was really nice :)
he read it slowly once, then again. his thumb paused over the screen as he processed the words, his chest feeling just slightly lighter without him really knowing why.
sunghoon: i enjoyed it too
sunghoon: a lot
there was a brief pause before he added another message, almost instinctively.
sunghoon: what are you doing?
a few seconds later, his phone buzzed again, and this time a photo loaded into the chat. he tapped it open.it was you. sitting at a table, books spread out in front of you, your posture slightly leaned forward as if you were in the middle of focusing on something. the setting looked quiet, late, the kind of environment that made studying feel both productive and exhausting at the same time. and you looked… tired.
you: studying :( it’s kind of hard ngl
he stared at the image for a moment longer than he probably should have, his expression softening as he set the phone down briefly against his chest before picking it back up to reply.he set the phone back in his hand, still looking at your photo for a second longer than necessary before finally typing.
sunghoon: you’re studying biochem? again?
another message followed almost immediately.
sunghoon: is it the enzyme kinetics part from today?
almost as if he already knew the answer.
you: okay, keep up w the smart talk and im leaving, hoon
sunghoon: haha im joking, pretty
sunghoon: relax
what the hell is wrong with him? why the fuck would he say that??
he ran a hand down his face, exhaling slowly, visibly frustrated with himself now more than anything else.
“…what the fuck am i doing,” he muttered under his breath, staring at the ceiling for a second before glancing back at his phone again. he hadn’t even noticed how much he’d been overthinking until now. before he could spiral further, your reply came in.
you: okay 😭 you’re acting like a whole different person rn
you: but like… i don’t mind it
you: also yeah it’s hard, could you help me??
“…a whole different person,” he repeated quietly, a small, almost disbelieving breath leaving him as he reread that part again. his ears warmed slightly again, though this time it wasn’t from embarrassment alone.
“…you’re really…” he started under his breath, trailing off as he shook his head faintly, a small smile forming without him realizing.
sunghoon: yeah, i can help
he leaned back slightly on his bed, one arm resting behind his head now, the earlier overthinking replaced with something calmer, more grounded.
sunghoon: send me the part you don’t understand
sunghoon: i’ll walk you through it
more like talk you through it.
he started typing again, slower now, more deliberate.
sunghoon: so for enzyme kinetics, especially what we discussed today, you have to think in terms of how the enzyme interacts with the substrate first, not just the equation
he paused briefly, then continued.
sunghoon: like, when you look at Michaelis–Menten behavior, the key idea is that the rate depends on enzyme-substrate complex formation. so when the substrate concentration is low, the enzyme isn’t saturated, which means small increases in substrate will significantly increase the reaction rate
sunghoon: is it too much? you don’t mind, do you?
okay, maybe it is too much.
sunghoon: i could explain it properly in person if you want?
sunghoon: it’d be easier than doing it over messages
he stared at what he wrote for a brief second, then sent it without overthinking it too much this time.
you: omg, ur the best
you: that would definitely be much better
you: thank you sm, hoon 🤍
he blinked once, then let out a small breath through his nose, the faintest hint of a smile appearing again.
sunghoon: no worries, im glad I can help
you: tomorrow @ 3?
you: we can meet at the cafe spot :)
sunghoon: yeah, ill be there 👍🏻
you: thank you so much again, hoon
you: goodnight ;)
yeah, he was not sleeping tonight, that’s for sure.
the next day came quicker than it should have, slipping into place with a quiet normalcy that somehow made it feel more important than it needed to be. you found yourself walking into the café with the same kind of anticipation you didn’t fully acknowledge; nothing obvious, nothing dramatic, just a subtle pull that guided your steps toward the familiar corner table you had started to associate with him.
the moment you stepped inside, the warm air and low hum of voices wrapped around you, blending with the faint aroma of coffee and something sweet baking somewhere behind the counter. your eyes moved across the room almost instinctively, scanning without really thinking about it, and then they landed on him.
sunghoon was already there, seated in the same spot as before, just like you had seen him last time. his posture was composed, slightly leaned forward over his notebook, pen in hand as he appeared to be reviewing something with quiet focus. but the moment you walked in, he noticed.
“hey,” you said softly, your voice carrying just enough to reach him as you stopped by the table, a small smile already forming as you approached. “hey,” he responded, just as quietly, his tone steady but slightly gentler now that it was directed at you instead of the silence he had been sitting in.
you set your bag down beside the chair and stepped closer to the table, your eyes naturally drifting to the surface in front of him; books, notes, and then something that made you pause. there, placed neatly on the table, was a drink. an iced vanilla latte. your favorite. again. your brows lifted slightly in surprise as your attention lingered on it for a second longer than you expected, your expression shifting subtly as you looked back up at him.
“…you already got one?” you asked, your voice carrying a quiet curiosity, mixed with a hint of something softer now that you had noticed it.
he followed your gaze briefly, then returned his attention to you, his expression calm, though there was the faintest trace of attentiveness in the way he watched your reaction. “yeah,” he said simply, like it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. there was a small pause as he leaned back just slightly in his chair, one hand resting lightly on the table while the other relaxed near his notebook. “i wasn’t sure if you’d get it yourself,” he added after a moment, his tone still even, but a little more thoughtful now. “so i just got it.”
“it’s nothing, really.” you looked at the drink again, then back at him, your expression softening in a way that was subtle, but present- like something had settled quietly in your chest at the realization.
“…you remembered again,” you said under your breath, more to yourself than anything else, though the words slipped out just loud enough to be heard. he didn’t respond immediately. and in that brief moment, the usual distance between him and others felt slightly thinner, like the space he normally kept was quietly adjusting without him forcing it. he shifted his hand slightly on the table, then nodded once, small and understated. “yeah,” he said simply.
and somehow, that was enough.
when you chose biochemistry as your major, you never really thought it would feel this confusing, it was the persistent kind of confusion that settled in the back of your mind and refused to fully leave, no matter how hard you tried to push through it.
you were sitting across from him, notebook open, pen in hand, eyes scanning the material in front of you as he began explaining the topic again; enzyme kinetics, reaction rates, inhibition types, this and that. his voice steady, structured, and far more organized than the scattered thoughts you were trying to align in your own head.
you swore you were trying to focus, really. but your attention kept slipping. not because you didn’t care, but because something else kept pulling it away.
the way his glasses kept sliding slightly down the bridge of his nose, forcing him to pause every so often to push them back up with a small, almost absentminded motion. the way his hair fell softly across his forehead, slightly tousled, catching the light in a way that made it look lighter than it probably was. the subtle movements of his mouth as he spoke; occasionally pressing his lips together, or biting them lightly when he was concentrating on choosing the right way to explain something.
and his hands- fuck, those hands.
they were moving across the page, pointing at diagrams, underlining key terms, tapping lightly when emphasizing a point. but instead of helping you focus, they were your biggest distraction. you hadn’t really thought about it before, but now that you were sitting this close, watching the way his fingers moved with precision and ease, you couldn’t help but notice how slender they were, how defined in a quiet, understated way. veins faintly visible under the skin, movements controlled but natural, like he had full awareness of everything he was doing.
your mind drifted for just a second too long. wondering, almost absentmindedly, how much control those hands had, how far they could reach, how steady they were when he wasn’t thinking about them.
who knew hands could be this interesting?
you didn’t even realize you had gone quiet until “you good?” his voice cut through your thoughts gently, enough to pull you back into the present. you blinked. refocusing. looking up at him, but sunghoon was already looking at you, his expression calm but observant, like he had been watching you long enough to notice the shift in your attention without making it obvious. “…yeah,” you said quickly, recovering with a small, slightly sheepish smile. “it’s just… kind of a lot.”
he didn’t seem surprised. in fact, there was a faint understanding in his eyes as he nodded slightly, pen resting lightly between his fingers now. “yeah,” he said softly. “i noticed.” there was no judgment in his tone. just an observation. matter-of-fact. like he had been paying attention to you just as much as you had been trying to pay attention to the material.
he let the moment settle, his gaze briefly dropping back to the page in front of him- but not fully. not immediately. because, in the quiet that followed, he found himself doing it again. looking at you. not in a way that would be obvious if anyone else were around. not in a way that interrupted what he was supposed to be focusing on. but just… briefly. naturally. like his attention kept drifting back without him consciously deciding to.
you were leaning slightly forward over your notes, brows faintly drawn together in concentration. a strand of hair had fallen loose near your face, and you didn’t seem to notice it, too focused on trying to follow along with the explanation. your pen hovered over the page, then moved, then paused again, like you were working through each step carefully, even if it wasn’t fully clicking yet. and something about that; about the way you were trying, not giving up, not pretending to understand when you didn’t. it made something in his chest settle in a way he couldn’t quite name.
you weren’t falling for park sunghoon, just like he was falling for you, right?
the time between leaving the café and returning to his dorm felt shorter than sunghoon expected. or maybe it just felt different. because this time, the quiet that usually followed him home wasn’t empty- it was filled with fragments of your voice, your small laughs, the way you leaned in slightly when you were trying to understand something, the way you said his name like it wasn’t just a name at all.
by the time he pushed the door open, his expression had softened into something he didn’t even realize he was carrying. a faint smile.
inside the dorm, the atmosphere was exactly what he expected.
jake was already in the kitchen area, leaning his back against the counter, one hand holding a spoon while the other held a tub of ice cream. he was mid-bite when sunghoon walked in, his eyes lifting almost immediately, like he had been waiting for something interesting to happen.
and then he saw it; sunghoon’s face, and that small but unmistakable smile. jake’s expression shifted instantly into something knowing. “oh,” he said around the spoon, swallowing before pointing it slightly in sunghoon’s direction. “yeah, you’re down bad.” he let out a short laugh after that, clearly amused, going back to scooping another spoonful like he had just confirmed something he already suspected.
sunghoon didn’t respond right away. he just closed the door behind him, setting his bag down with a quiet thud, his fingers lingering on the strap for a second longer than necessary as he tried to compose himself.
“i’m not—” he started, but his voice lacked conviction, cut short by the fact that he knew exactly why jake was saying that. before he could finish, footsteps echoed from down the hall. heeseung walked into the room, glancing between the two of them with a curious expression, clearly catching onto the energy immediately. “what’s going on?” he asked, eyes moving from jake to sunghoon, then back again, like he was trying to piece together the situation.
oh, but jake didn’t hesitate.
“oh, him?” he said casually, gesturing toward sunghoon with his spoon again. “he was on a date.” heeseung blinked, once, then again. a smile started forming almost immediately, a mix of surprise and amusement lighting up his face.
“no way,” he said, sounding genuinely intrigued now as he looked at sunghoon. “you didn’t tell us that.” sunghoon’s ears warmed instantly. his posture stiffened just slightly as he set his bag fully down, clearly caught off guard by how quickly the situation had escalated. “it wasn’t a date,” he said quickly, his tone a bit more firm now as he stepped further into the room.
jake raised a brow, already smirking. before either of them could say anything else, sunghoon reached out, scratching the back of his own neck with one hand in a reflexive, slightly tense gesture- like he needed something to ground himself. “it was tutoring,” he added, a little more controlled this time, though the faint flush creeping up his neck gave him away completely. he glanced between the two of them, clearly aware of how this looked, and even more aware of how little he could defend himself against it. “…that’s it.”
jake and heeseung didn’t even need a second invitation. the moment sunghoon denied it, too quickly, too firmly, it only made things worse. jake’s grin widened instantly, like he had just been handed confirmation without sunghoon realizing it. he shoved another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth, then pointed again, laughing under his breath as he looked at heeseung.
“see?” jake said, voice rising slightly as he pushed himself off the counter. “that’s exactly how someone acts when they’ve got a crush.” heeseung let out a soft laugh, clearly entertained now, stepping further into the room as he looked at sunghoon with a knowing expression. “yeah,” heeseung added, smiling. “you’re way too defensive for someone who says it’s just tutoring.” sunghoon exhaled through his nose, already regretting walking into the room like that. “i don’t-” he started again, but stopped himself, realizing it was useless, and that was all Jake needed.
“and he’s doing the stammer thing,” jake immediately pointed out, his voice louder now, dragging heeseung along with him as if they had just unlocked a shared joke. “he’s down bad bad.” sunghoon pinched the bridge of his nose for a second, shutting his eyes briefly. “you guys are unbelievable.” but instead of calming down, they had to make it worse.
jake set the ice cream down on the counter and suddenly moved, half-walking, half-jogging into the living room while laughing, heeseung right behind him. within seconds, they were both moving around the space like they had no intention of stopping anytime soon. “park sunghoon has a crush!” Jake shouted, clearly exaggerating for dramatic effect. “he’s in love!” heeseung added, playing along, his tone light but teasing.
“i am not in love—” sunghoon’s voice followed them, slightly raised now as he stood where he was for a moment, watching them with a mix of embarrassment and disbelief. but they weren’t done. jake turned around mid-step, walking backward now as he pointed again. “then what is it? explain why you came home smiling like that.” sunghoon didn’t answer. instead, he turned on his heel and walked straight down the hallway toward his room, clearly done entertaining them.
“wow, retreating already?” jake called after him, laughing as he leaned toward heeseung. the other shook his head, still smiling. “let him breathe, Jake.”
the noise in the dorm settled back into something quieter, the earlier chaos fading into background sounds, occasional movement, low conversation, the normal rhythm of shared space. sunghoon had been in his room, sitting at his desk at first, then leaning back slightly in his chair, staring at nothing in particular as his thoughts drifted back, uninvited, to earlier in the day. he exhaled quietly, running a hand through his hair before dropping it back onto the desk. a knock on his door pulled him out of it. “yeah,” he said, not looking up immediately. the door opened anyway. jake stepped inside.
this time, he wasn’t loud. no teasing entrance, no exaggerated tone. just jake, closing the door behind him and walking in like a normal person for once. he leaned against the wall near the door, crossing his arms loosely as he looked at sunghoon.
“…so,” jake started, his voice calmer now, though still carrying that familiar edge of curiosity. “how was it?” sunghoon glanced at him, then looked away again, his fingers lightly tapping against the edge of his desk. “…it was fine,” he said. jake hummed, clearly not satisfied with that answer. “fine?” he repeated, raising a brow slightly. “that’s it?” sunghoon hesitated. that pause alone was enough. jake’s lips twitched into a small smile. “…okay,” sunghoon added after a second, his tone quieter now. “it was… good.” jake nodded slowly, encouraging him without pushing too hard.
“she’s… easy to talk to,” sunghoon continued, almost like he was choosing his words carefully. “and she actually tries to understand things. not just… pretend.” there was a brief pause. jake didn’t interrupt this time. sunghoon glanced down at his hands for a moment, then exhaled lightly through his nose. “…and she listens,” he added, a bit more softly. “even when she doesn’t get it right away.”
that was as much as he seemed willing to say out loud. jake tilted his head slightly, watching him with a knowing expression, though he kept his tone light. “mhm,” he said. “sounds like you had a great time then.” sunghoon gave him a brief look at that, not quite amused, but not annoyed enough to stop the conversation either. “…it wasn’t like that,” he muttered. jake smirked. “yeah, sure.”
but this time, the teasing was softer. less chaotic. more observant than anything else. and sunghoon, he didn’t deny it further. he just leaned back slightly in his chair again, letting the quiet settle back in, while jake stayed there, still watching him with that same small, knowing grin.
the next few days passed in a way you didn’t really expect them to.
what started as one tutoring session somehow turned into… more. not in a planned way, not in a “let’s schedule this properly” kind of way, just naturally. like it made sense to keep meeting. like neither of you really questioned it.
you’d text him something simple, are you free? and somehow, an hour later, you’d be sitting across from park sunghoon again. same café, same table, same notebooks spread out between you. except it didn’t feel the same anymore. not exactly. at first, it was just studying. structured, focused, him explaining, you trying to keep up, occasionally getting distracted, occasionally getting something right. but as the days went on, something shifted; quietly, subtly, without either of you pointing it out.
you started talking more. not just about biochemistry, about classes, about professors, about random things that didn’t matter and somehow mattered anyway. and somewhere between reaction mechanisms and enzyme inhibition, laughter started slipping in- unexpected at first, then easier, more natural.
“no, because if you write it like that,” sunghoon said one afternoon, leaning slightly closer to your notebook, his pen hovering over the page, “you’re basically saying the enzyme just gave up.” you blinked, then looked at him. “…it can do that?” you asked, completely serious for half a second. he paused, then let out a quiet laugh.
and for a moment, you just stared at him, because that was new. you didn’t even think about it before you reached out, your hand lightly touching his shoulder as you laughed too, leaning back in your chair. “oh my god,” you said between small giggles, “that’s so mean. poor enzyme.” the touch was brief.
his shoulders tensed just slightly- not enough to pull away, not enough to make it obvious, but enough that he noticed it. his breath caught for just a second before he forced himself to relax, clearing his throat quietly as he looked back down at the page. “…it doesn’t have feelings,” he muttered, though there was the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips now.
and that kept happening, the small moments.
you leaning closer to see something, your arm brushing against his. your fingers grazing his wrist when you reached for the same pen at the same time. your hand resting briefly on his shoulder when you laughed at something he said, because he was saying more now. he was loosening up; not all at once, not dramatically, but enough that it was noticeable. his explanations were still detailed, still precise- but now, they were mixed with small comments, quiet humor, little remarks that caught you off guard. he’d glance at you sometimes while explaining something, like he was checking if you were following, and when you weren’t, he didn’t get flustered the way he used to.
“you’re overthinking it again,” he said once, tapping your notebook lightly with his pen. you frowned slightly, looking up at him. “i’m not-”
“you are,” he interrupted calmly, though there was a softness to it now. “you’re trying to make it more complicated than it is.” you narrowed your eyes at him, but there was no real annoyance there. “…you sound very confident for someone who holds his water bottle like emotional support,” you shot back. you smiled without thinking. and without realizing it, your hand reached out again, lightly pushing his shoulder this time. “see? you can be funny,” you said, teasing. he shook his head slightly, looking down for a second, but the faint smile didn’t leave his face this time. “…you’re distracting,” he muttered, almost to himself.
and the more time passed, the more natural it started to feel. like sitting this close to him wasn’t something you thought about anymore. like touching him, even briefly, didn’t feel like something you had to hesitate over. like laughing with him, came easier than it should have. and sunghoon, even if he didn’t say it out loud, was starting to feel it too.
sunghoon: hey, u on your way yet?
the message sat there on the screen, simple, casual, like every other message he’d sent you before. delivered, but not read.
sunghoon hadn’t meant to check his phone as often as he was. at first, it was just a quick glance; something unconscious, something he didn’t think twice about as he sat at the café table, your usual spot, your usual drinks not yet ordered because he figured you’d walk in any second.
you were probably just a little late. that was normal. five minutes passed, then ten. by fifteen, he found himself checking the door more than his phone, his gaze lifting every time it opened, only to drop again when it wasn’t you. each time, there was a small pause, just a second too long, before he looked back down, fingers tightening slightly around his phone without him realizing it.
you always said something. even if it was just i’m late sorry or give me 5 mins something small, something quick. you never just… disappeared like this. his thumb hovered over the screen again as he reopened the chat, like maybe the message would suddenly appear if he looked at it one more time. still nothing. his jaw tightened slightly, and he leaned back in his chair, exhaling through his nose as he ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back in a way that made it fall right back into place seconds later.
“…you would’ve texted,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than anything else. he tried to reason with it. maybe your phone died, maybe you got caught up in something, maybe you just forgot. but even as the thoughts came, they didn’t sit right, because none of them sounded like you. and that was enough. he stood up, grabbed his things, and left.
your room felt too quiet. not peaceful quiet, just… heavy.
the kind that pressed down on everything, making even the smallest movements feel slower than they should. your head ached in a dull, persistent way, like it had been sitting there for hours, and your body felt off- tired, weak, just uncomfortable enough that you couldn’t ignore it. at some point, you had woken up with the intention of getting ready. of texting him, of saying something.
you even remembered picking up your phone, staring at the screen, opening your messages, but the moment passed. the energy it would take to type, to explain, to even form the words- it felt like too much. so you told yourself you’d do it in a minute, and then you didn’t. time blurred after that. you didn’t really keep track of it. not until the faint pressure in your head worsened, and you finally pushed yourself up from the bed with a quiet sigh, your movements slow and a little unsteady as your feet hit the floor. the room felt slightly warmer than it should have, or maybe that was just you.
you dragged yourself toward the small table where you had left your pills, one hand brushing lightly against the wall for balance as you walked. you didn’t think about the café, or the time, or the fact that someone was probably waiting for you, not until the doorbell rang. you froze. completely still for a second, like your body needed time to catch up with the sound. your brows furrowed slightly as you turned your head toward the door, confusion settling in almost immediately. you weren’t expecting anyone. not today. not at all.
for a moment, you just stood there, staring blankly, trying to figure out if you had forgotten something, or someone. the silence that followed felt louder than before, like it was waiting for you to react. then the doorbell rang again. this time, a little softer, more hesitant, more like him. you swallowed lightly before making your way toward the door, your steps slower than usual, each one feeling just slightly heavier than it should. your hand hovered over the handle for a brief second before you finally turned it and pulled the door open. and it felt like the whole world stopped.
because standing right there, just outside your door, was park sunghoon.
his hair slightly out of place, like he had rushed without thinking too much about it, breathing not quite uneven, but not fully steady either. and his expression, that’s what caught you. the faint crease between his brows, the way his eyes immediately scanned your face the moment the door opened, like he was checking something, like he was trying to make sure you were okay without asking it out loud first.
you just stood there, staring at him, because you hadn’t expected anyone, and definitely not him standing at your door. you blinked at him, still trying to process why he was standing there, your mind slow to catch up with the situation, your hand still resting on the door like you hadn’t fully decided whether this was real or not.
“sunghoon?” you started, your voice a little weaker than usual, confusion laced through it as your brows pulled together slightly. “what are-”
“i texted you.” he cut you off, like he had been holding that in the entire way here. “i texted and you didn’t answer,” sunghoon continued, his voice a little breathless, his words coming out faster than they usually did, like he hadn’t fully slowed down yet. his eyes moved over your face again, more carefully this time, more deliberately, like he was trying to read something in your expression.
“i waited,” he added, quieter now, like that part mattered more than the rest. “and then you still didn’t reply, so i-”he stopped for a second, exhaling through his nose before finishing, almost like he knew how it sounded. “i asked jake for your dorm number.”
“…you what?” you said softly, the surprise finally settling in as you stared at him a little more clearly now, trying to piece together the fact that he had gone out of his way to find you. his brows pulled together just a bit more, his gaze softening into something that wasn’t just concern anymore- it was closer, more personal, like whatever he had expected to find wasn’t quite this. “…are you okay?” he asked, quieter now, his voice losing that earlier urgency and settling into something softer, steadier. and just like that, the energy shifted.
you exhaled lightly, your shoulders dropping a little as the moment caught up to you, your hand falling from the door as you leaned slightly against the frame. “i’m-” you started, then paused, your voice trailing off as you shook your head faintly. “i’m sorry, I didn’t mean to not answer, i just…wasn’t feeling good, and i guess i fell asleep or something.” you let out a small breath, your words slower now, more tired than you intended them to be.
“i forgot,” you added quietly. “i’m really sorry.” for a second, he just stood there, looking at you. taking it in, then he exhaled. a quiet sound; half sigh, half something else, as he ran a hand through his hair, the tension in his shoulders easing just slightly.
“…you’re fine,” he said, almost under his breath, like he was reassuring himself just as much as you. then, a faint, breathy laugh slipped out, soft and short, like the worry was still lingering but not as sharp as before. “just-” he started, shaking his head slightly. “don’t do that again.”
“go sit downfor me, hm?,” he said, his tone shifting into something more grounded, more certain, the kind of quiet authority that didn’t sound forced, it just was. “you don’t look great.” you blinked at that, still a little dazed as you stepped back automatically, letting him move past you, closing the door behind him with a soft click. “…okay,” you murmured, not really arguing, your body already too tired to resist as you made your way toward your bed, sitting down slowly, still trying to catch up with everything that had just happened.
sunghoon didn’t hesitate. he moved through your space with a kind of quiet purpose, his eyes briefly scanning the room before heading straight toward the small kitchen area like he already knew what he was looking for. you watched him, confusion slowly mixing with something else, something warmer, softer, as he opened a cabinet, then another, clearly searching for something. “…what are you doing?” you asked, your voice quieter now, a little hoarse, but curious.
“what tea do you like?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder briefly, his tone calm, like it was the most normal question in the world. he was standing in your kitchen, looking for something to make you feel better. you sat there for a second, watching him, your thoughts slowing in a completely different way now, something soft settling in your chest despite how off you still felt. “…anything warm is fine,” you said quietly. but your eyes didn’t leave him, because suddenly- this didn’t feel like “just tutoring” anymore.
there was something careful about the way he moved around your kitchen, like he didn’t want to make too much noise, like he was aware constantly that you were just a few steps away, not feeling well, sitting there waiting without really asking him to do any of this.
he found a mug, then the tea and the kettle. each movement was quiet, deliberate, almost methodical in a way that grounded him after the rush of worry that had brought him here in the first place. the sound of water heating filled the small space, soft and steady, and for a moment, he let himself breathe properly again.
when everything was ready, he didn’t hesitate long. he grabbed the mug carefully, along with a glass of water and the pills he had found nearby, balancing them as he walked back toward you.
he slowed down just slightly when he got closer, his steps softer now, like he didn’t want to startle you even though you were already watching him. he sat down beside you. close. not too close, but close enough that the warmth of his presence was noticeable. “…here,” he said quietly, handing you the mug first, then the pills, then the glass of water, his movements careful, attentive in a way that didn’t feel forced.
you looked at him for a second before taking them, your fingers brushing his briefly in the process. “thank you,” you murmured, your voice softer now, your expression gentler despite how tired you felt. “you’re too sweet.” a faint flush crept up his neck as his gaze dropped for a second, his fingers curling slightly against his palm as if he didn’t quite know what to do with them. “…it’s nothing,” he said, a little too quickly at first, then softer, more composed. “it’s the least I could do.” but he didn’t look at you right away after that. there was something quiet there, something unspoken, something neither of you addressed, but both of you felt.
he cleared his throat softly, breaking it first. “you should take the pills,” he said, his voice gentler now, almost careful. “and… get some rest.” you nodded slightly, doing exactly that, but your eyes didn’t leave him completely. “…you can stay,” you added after a moment, your tone light, but not careless. “if you want.” sunghoon hesitated, not because he didn’t want to, but because he did. and that alone made him second guess it for just a second too long. “…yeah,” he said finally, nodding once, more to himself than anything else. “just… to make sure you’re okay.”
that was the excuse, the one he chose to hold onto.
you smiled faintly, then shifted slightly on the bed. “…maybe we could watch something?” you asked softly. sunghoon shifted slightly beside you, the movement small but noticeable as he reached for the remote, his fingers brushing against it before he picked it up, his posture still a little careful, like he was aware of you in a way that made him slightly more deliberate with everything he did. “yeah… we can,” he said quietly, his voice soft, almost like he didn’t want to break whatever calm had settled between you. he leaned forward just a bit, elbows resting loosely on his knees as he turned his attention to the screen, starting to scroll through the endless list of movies, his thumb moving slower than it probably needed to, like he wasn’t really in a rush to pick anything.
the room stayed quiet for a moment, filled only with the soft clicking of the remote and the faint background noise of the interface shifting from one option to another. it wasn’t awkward, though, not like before. it felt easy, like the silence didn’t need to be filled right away. “…what do you usually watch?” he asked after a bit, his voice coming out naturally this time, not forced, not overly thought-out. he glanced at you briefly, just for a second, before looking back at the screen, his expression relaxed in a way that would’ve been unfamiliar to anyone who didn’t know him well. you shifted slightly under the blanket, pulling it a little closer around yourself, your shoulders relaxing as you let your head tilt just slightly toward him. “honestly?” you murmured, your voice still soft from earlier, but steadier now. “anything that isn’t horror.”
he blinked once, then slowly turned his head toward you, his brows lifting just a little in quiet amusement. “…really?” he said, and then a small laugh slipped out, it was soft, slow, almost under his breath, but real. “scared, huh?” the way he said it was light, teasing in a way that felt new coming from him, like he was testing it out, seeing if he could get away with it. you narrowed your eyes at him immediately, though there was no real irritation behind it, just that familiar spark, the one that had started showing up more often around him.
“oh my god, shut up,” you muttered, and without really thinking about it, you reached out and lightly punched his shoulder. it caught him off guard just enough that his body reacted before his brain did, his shoulders shifting slightly as he let out a quiet, surprised breath. then he laughed again. “okay,” he said, lifting one hand slightly like he was surrendering, a faint smile still lingering on his lips. “no horror. got it.”
there was something different about him in that moment; something looser, more comfortable, like he wasn’t holding himself as tightly as before. like being around you like this, in a space that wasn’t a classroom or a crowded café, was slowly changing the way he carried himself. he went back to scrolling, but slower now, occasionally pausing on something for a second longer, glancing at you like he was silently asking if it was okay before moving on again.
“…this one?” he asked at one point, tilting the screen slightly toward you. you leaned in just a bit to look, your shoulder brushing lightly against his as you did.
“mm… no,” you said softly, your voice thoughtful as you scanned it for a second before leaning back again, though not quite as far as before. he nodded, “yeah, okay” soft laugh fell from his lips, before he could question it. eventually, you landed on something simple- something light enough that it didn’t require too much thinking, something that could just exist in the background while you both sat there. when he pressed play, neither of you really noticed the shift.
somewhere between settling back against the bed and adjusting the blanket, you both moved, just slightly, closer. your shoulders brushed again, this time not pulling apart afterward. the warmth of him beside you wasn’t subtle anymore. it was there; steady, constant- and instead of moving away, you leaned into it just a little without even realizing. he did the same, but not enough to make it obvious. the movie started playing, soft voices and background music filling the room, but it didn’t demand your attention, not really. it became something secondary, something that existed around you rather than something you were fully focused on. your hand brushing against his when you adjusted the blanket again, your fingers grazing his for just a second longer than necessary before pulling back slightly. his hand shifting near yours, not pulling away completely, just… staying close.
sunghoon’s breath caught, barely noticeable, but there. his eyes flickered down for a split second, his fingers still, like he wasn’t sure if moving would break something. your hand didn’t pull away. they stayed there, close, barely touching, like the space between them was something fragile. something that could shift into something more if either of you made one small move. and for a second; it felt like that might actually happen, like the distance would disappear completely, like you didn’t have to pretend anymore, like your fingers would finally-
his phone rang. the sound cut through everything. too loud for how quiet the moment had been. sunghoon flinched slightly, his hand pulling back almost immediately like the contact had burned him, his chest rising a little too quickly as he blinked, his thoughts scrambling to catch up. “…shit,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than anything else, reaching for his phone with slightly unsteady fingers.
“hm? who is it? your voice but through the silence. sunghoon glanced at the screen again for a split second before answering, his expression tightening just slightly, the softness from before fading into something more restrained. “…it’s jake,” he said, a small, almost forced smile pulling at his lips as he looked at you, like he was trying to brush it off even though the timing couldn’t have been worse.
he shifted a little, already pushing himself up from where he was sitting, one hand rubbing briefly at the back of his neck; a habit that came back the moment he felt even slightly out of place again. “uh- you mind if i take this?” he asked, his tone polite, but there was a quiet edge of reluctance there, like he didn’t actually want to step away. you let out a soft giggle, the sound light and warm, completely unbothered as you looked up at him. “go on, hoon,” you said gently, your voice carrying that same easy softness it always did when you said his name. “i won’t go anywhere.”
oh, fuck you, jaeyun sim.
but he nodded anyway, a small, quiet motion before turning slightly away, bringing the phone up to his ear as he stepped just a little further from the couch. “what do you want, jake?” he said, his voice low, flat, and just slightly irritated, the words coming out more bluntly than usual. there was a pause as the other end of the call filled with whatever jake was saying, but sunghoon didn’t respond much, his answers were short, minimal, almost nonexistent. a quiet “yeah”, distracted “mm.”
at one point, his gaze flickered briefly back toward you without meaning to, like his attention was split no matter how much he tried to focus on the call. “…hm,” he said after a moment, his tone still dry, still clipped. “okay, bye.”and then he pulled the phone away, the screen going dark as he let out a quiet breath through his nose, his shoulders relaxing just slightly as the call ended. he turned back toward you almost immediately, already stepping closer, ready to sit back down, ready to return to that same quiet, warm space you had been sharing just minutes ago.
“it was jake, he was just- ” he started, his voice softer again, the earlier irritation already fading as he looked up, and stopped, because you weren’t looking at him anymore, you had fallen asleep sometime during the call. your head tilted slightly to the side, your breathing slow and even, the tension from earlier completely gone, replaced by something soft, peaceful- like your body had finally given in to the rest it needed. sunghoon stood there for a second, just looking at you. like he didn’t want to move too quickly and disturb it.
there was something about the way you looked like this; peaceful, calm, unaware, that made his chest tighten just slightly, something warm settling there without him fully understanding why. you didn’t look like the same person who teased him, who laughed at him, who called him “hoon” like it was the easiest thing in the world. you just looked soft. and it did something to him.
slowly, carefully, he stepped closer. each movement quieter than the last until he was right in front of you, close enough to really see the small details, the way your lashes rested against your cheeks, the faint rise and fall of your chest, the way your lips were slightly parted as you breathed. he crouched down beside the couch, one knee pressing lightly against the floor as he lowered himself to your level, his eyes not leaving your face. for a moment, he didn’t do anything. just looked. then, without really thinking, his hand moved, but it was slow, almost careful- like he was giving himself time to stop, but he didn’t.
his fingers brushed lightly against your hair, gently tucking a loose strand away from your face, his touch so soft it barely disturbed anything at all. the motion was instinctive, natural in a way that surprised even him. “…you should rest,” he murmured quietly, even though you couldn’t hear him, his voice barely above a whisper.
he reached for the blanket next, pulling it up a little higher over your shoulders, making sure you were properly covered, his movements just as careful as before, like he didn’t want to wake you, but also didn’t want to leave you like this without doing something. his hand lingered for just a second longer than necessary, then slowly, he pulled away. the space between you returning, even if he didn’t really want it to. he stood up quietly, glancing at you one last time, like he was committing the image to memory without meaning to. then he turned and left
before the door could close behind him, his hand already reaching into his pocket for his phone, your chat open before he could make a step, the quiet of the hallway wrapping around him as he stepped away from your dorm.
his fingers hovered over the screen for a second- like he was thinking about what to say before he started typing.
sunghoon: hey, i left. you fell asleep on me
sunghoon: get some rest, okay?
sunghoon: text me when you wake up
and then, after just a second more-
sunghoon: if you need anything, just tell me
he stared at the message for a moment before hitting send, exhaling quietly through his nose as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. there was still a faint smile on his face as he walked away.
and even as he left, his thoughts stayed with you.
morning didn’t come fast, it came slowly, like your body wasn’t fully ready to be awake yet; like sleep was still clinging to you, heavy and warm, refusing to let go completely. your head throbbed faintly, not enough to hurt, but enough to remind you of last night, of the way everything had felt a little too loud, a little too much.
for a moment, you didn’t move. you just lay there, eyes barely open, staring ahead without really focusing on anything, letting your breathing even out as your thoughts slowly started catching up.
your brows pulled together slightly as you pushed yourself up, the blanket sliding down from your shoulders, your fingers instinctively catching it before it could fall completely. you paused, looking down at it, confusion settling in for just a second. you didn’t remember pulling it up that high, you didn’t remember grabbing it at all. and then it clicked. the couch, the movie. sunghoon. your gaze lifted slowly, scanning your dorm like you were trying to piece everything together without fully trusting your memory, and that’s when you noticed it- on your bedside table was a glass of water, and a note.
something in your chest shifted, small but noticeable, as you reached for it, your fingers still a little sluggish as you unfolded the paper, your eyes moving over his handwriting. it was neat, careful. a little too precise in a way that felt very him- like even something this simple had been done thoughtfully. you read it once, and the again, for a moment, you just sat there, the quiet of your room settling around you in a way that felt softer than usual, your grip on the paper loosening slightly as you exhaled.
“…he’s actually so sweet,” you murmured under your breath, your voice still rough with sleep, quieter than you intended. your lips curved slightly before you could stop them, your head tilting just a little as your thoughts drifted somewhere softer than you expected them to. you exhaled quietly, leaning back against the couch, your eyes dropping to the note again before they slowly shifted away. the way he got flustered over the smallest things, the way his ears turned red when you said his name, the way he avoided your eyes for half a second too long before forcing himself to look back, like he didn’t want to seem rude but didn’t know what to do with himself either.
and yet, he still showed up, still helped you, still sat there, explaining things patiently even when you didn’t understand, never making you feel stupid, never making you feel like a burden.
“…he’s so easy,” you murmured, but the words didn’t come out the way they used to. you reached for your phone. the screen lit up immediately, and there they were- his messages, sitting there like they had been waiting for you this whole time.
hey, I left. you fell asleep, get some rest, okay? text me when you wake up, if you need anything, just tell me
your thumb hovered over the screen, your expression softening just slightly as you read them again, slower this time, like you were paying attention to the way they felt instead of just what they said.
there was something about it, about him, that made you hesitate. just for a second. because people didn’t usually do this, not like this. not without expecting something back. but sunghoon, sunghoon just did things. quietly- without making a big deal out of them. and for some reason, that stuck with you more than anything else.
you inhaled softly, then started typing.
you paused, staring at the screen for a second before continuing.
you: thank you for yesterday, hoon 🤍
you: you didn’t have to do all that
your fingers hovered again, your gaze softening as your thoughts caught up with you just enough to make you add one more line.
you: but i’m really glad you did
the day was supposed to be productive, that had been the plan.
your dorm was a mess; clothes half-folded, books scattered, notes stacked in uneven piles that made it look like you had completely lost control of everything. it had been bothering you for a while now, sitting in the back of your mind like something you kept putting off.
so you started cleaning. at first, it worked. you moved around your room, picking things up, organizing them into proper places, throwing away things you didn’t need anymore. the motion helped, the repetition giving you something to focus on, something that didn’t require too much thinking.
but then, your phone buzzed. you froze for a second, your hand still resting on a stack of papers as your attention shifted immediately, almost instinctively, toward the sound.
and before you even realized it, there was a small smile forming on your lips as you unlocked your phone.
sunghoon: you’re awake
sunghoon: how r u feeling?
you leaned back against your desk, your posture relaxing as your attention fully shifted away from everything else.
you: better :) still a bit tired tho
sunghoon: did you eat anything?
sunghoon: you should probably eat something
you let out a quiet laugh under your breath, shaking your head slightly as you typed.
you: wow, are you my mom now?
you: but yeah i will dw
sunghoon: just making sure
and something about that made you stop for a second.
you pressed your lips together slightly before setting your phone down, exhaling softly as you pushed yourself back up. “focus,” you muttered under your breath, glancing around your room again.
you picked up where you left off. for a few minutes, maybe. before your eyes drifted back to your phone again. it became a pattern before you even realized it. you’d start cleaning, actually trying to focus, telling yourself you needed to get things done, and then your thoughts would drift. not to anything specific. just…to him. at some point, you ended up sitting on the floor, surrounded by books you had meant to organize, your back resting lightly against your bed as your attention stayed completely locked onto the screen in your hands instead of the mess around you.
you talked about small things, nothing serious. just things.
you: i’m reorganizing my notes
you: they were getting out of hand
sunghoon: i can imagine
sunghoon: you seem like the type to have color-coded tabs and everything
you smiled, your head tilting slightly as you typed back.
you: i do
you: and it still somehow becomes chaos
sunghoon: that sounds inefficient
you huffed out a quiet laugh.
your smile lingered this time.
there was a slight delay before his response came through, long enough for you to notice.
and something about that- something small, subtle, easy to miss- made your chest feel just a little lighter than before.
somewhere between the jokes, the small check-ins, the quiet moments where neither of you said anything for a few minutes before picking it right back up again, your thoughts circled back to the same thing. he’s really nice, too nice. and as you sat there, your room finally starting to look cleaner, more put together, you realized something you weren’t quite ready to deal with yet, because no matter how much you tried to focus on anything else, you kept thinking about him anyway.
a few days passed like that- quietly, unevenly, filled with small conversations that never felt like they were trying too hard to be anything. messages that came in at random times, short laughs over text, simple check-ins that somehow became part of your routine without either of you really acknowledging it.
and then, campus again. lecture hall, the low hum of students filling seats, papers flipping, pens clicking, the familiar pre-class chaos settling into background noise as you sat there half-focused, your notebook already open but your mind not fully in it yet.
you weren’t really thinking about anything specific. just drifting. until the door at the back of the hall opened, and he walked in. sunghoon, except he didn’t look like usual; his hair was slightly messy, like he hadn’t fully bothered fixing it, his steps were quicker than normal, a little rushed, like he’d just been moving too fast to calm down properly. and there was the faintest sign of breathlessness in the way he paused for half a second once he spotted you- like he’d been in a hurry and only just made it on time. his eyes met yours briefly. and something in his expression softened- just a fraction.
he made his way down the row, slipping into the seat right next to you, his bag dropping lightly onto the floor beside him. for a moment, he didn’t say anything; just sat there, adjusting his breathing slightly, shoulders still a little tense. “…hi,” he muttered. you turned toward him immediately, your expression softening without even thinking about it. “hi,” you replied just as gently, like you were matching his energy without trying to force anything brighter onto him. “you okay?” he hesitated for a second, eyes flicking down to his notebook before nodding once.
“yeah,” he said, though it didn’t fully convince you. he wasn’t looking at you properly yet, still slightly out of it, like his thoughts were elsewhere.
you tilted your head a little. “you look like you ran here,” you added softly, a small smile forming at the corner of your lips. that earned you the faintest exhale from him, almost a laugh, but not quite. “…i might have,” he admitted, quieter now.
you were about to turn back to your notes when he spoke again. this time, faster. like he’d been holding it in and finally just let it slip out before he could overthink it. “do you want to go on a date?” you blinked, slowly turning back toward him. his eyes widened slightly the second the words left his mouth, like he realized how it sounded after saying it.
immediately- “not-” he started quickly, voice a little higher than usual. “not a date date. i mean—could be just like-out. a hangout. i just—” he stopped, ran a hand briefly through his hair, visibly frustrated with himself now. “…a hangout,” he repeated, quieter, like he was trying to fix the damage. you stared at him for a second, not knowing what to say, but then you giggled, which somehow made it worse for him, because now his ears were turning red. and he was looking anywhere except your face.
“that’s what’s been on your mind this whole time?” you asked lightly, teasing but not mean, your tone gentle as you leaned a little closer. he didn’t answer immediately, which was answer enough. “…yes,” he admitted finally, so quietly you almost missed it. that made your smile soften, because somehow, it was kind of sweet. the way he could handle stoichiometry like it was nothing, but asking you something as simple as this made him fall apart. you tilted your head slightly, watching him for a second longer before speaking again. “okay,” you said quietly.
he looked at you then, finally. and you added, almost like it was nothing-
the words hung there for half a second longer than they should’ve. and you saw it immediately; the way his breath caught, the way his fingers tightened slightly on his pen, the way he looked at you like he didn’t quite know what to do with that answer. “…okay,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “yeah.” and for a second, neither of you moved back to your notes. just sat there, too aware of each other now in a way that made the rest of the lecture feel a lot further away than it actually was.
at first, neither of you said much. just small adjustments, the quiet rustle of notebooks opening, pens clicking, the occasional glance toward the board. but then, slowly, almost naturally, the silence between you started to fill in- not with pressure, but with ease.
“…this part doesn’t make sense,” sunghoon murmured at some point, leaning slightly closer to your notebook without fully looking at you yet. his voice was lower now, steadier than before, like being in the lecture had helped him reset just enough to function properly again. “the enzyme curve they’re showing, it’s not matching what we did last week.” you followed his gaze, brow furrowing slightly as you leaned in too, your shoulder brushing his for just a second before you both adjusted like it was nothing. “wait,” you whispered back, squinting at the diagram. “i thought we said it shifts left when it’s competitive inhibition?”
“it does,” he said immediately, nodding once. then, softer, like he was thinking it through as he spoke, “but here they’re keeping vmax constant, which only makes sense if they’re isolating km changes, so they’re simplifying it for the model.”
you blinked at him, then at the page. “…that’s what I meant,” you muttered, half-laughing under your breath. “you’re just saying it better than i am.”
that earned you the faintest curve of his lips- not quite a smile, but close enough that you noticed it anyway. he didn’t respond directly, just adjusted his pen between his fingers and scribbled something small in the margin of your notes, like it was instinctive to help without making a big deal out of it.
and at some point, the conversation shifted away from the material completely.
“…so, you actually ran here?” you asked quietly after a while, your tone lighter now, teasing in a way that didn’t feel sharp. he hesitated for half a second, then exhaled through his nose. “yes,” he admitted, not looking at you. “because someone decided to tell me ten minutes before class that attendance matters more than I thought.”
“…yes.” that made you laugh quietly, covering your mouth slightly so you didn’t get caught. sunghoon glanced at you immediately, like the sound itself distracted him more than it should’ve. “you’re unbelievable,” you whispered.
“whatever” he shot back just as quietly, though there was no real bite in it. that made you tilt your head slightly. “you’re kind of in a bad mood today, hoon.” he went still for a second, then blinked. “…am i?”
the way he said it made you laugh again, softer this time. “a little,” you confirmed. he looked away briefly, like he was thinking about it, then, almost quietly “…sorry.”
“oh no, no. don’t apologize,” you said immediately, voice gentle now, leaning a fraction closer again without thinking. “i don’t mind it.” that made him pause again. like he didn’t know what to do with that kind of answer. and then, instead of responding directly, he just nodded once and turned back to his notes, but his ears were slightly red again.
by the end of the lecture, your notebook was filled with both your handwriting and his small additions, your margins slightly crowded with explanations that somehow made everything feel clearer instead of messier.
you stretched slightly as people around you started packing up, the room slowly shifting back into noise and movement, but you didn’t rush, and neither did he.
sunghoon closed his notebook slowly, then glanced at you once. “…you understood most of it?” he asked. you smiled faintly. “yeah,” you said. “with your help.” he paused, just for a second. then nodded, looking away like it didn’t matter, but his expression softened anyway. “…good,” he said quietly. and as you both finally stood up to leave, it didn’t feel like class ending. it felt like something continuing.
your room was dim, lit only by the soft glow of your desk lamp, your notes spread out in front of you in a way that looked organized at first glance but felt overwhelming the longer you stared at it. you had been sitting there for a while now, pen in hand, trying to focus on something, anything, but your mind kept slipping, your thoughts not fully staying where they were supposed to.
you sighed quietly, leaning back in your chair for just a second, your eyes closing briefly. then, your phone buzzed. you didn’t even hesitate. you reached for it immediately. and there it was; his name. your lips curved slightly before you even opened the message.
sunghoon: hey
sunghoon: you studying again?
you huffed out a quiet laugh, shaking your head slightly as you typed back.
you: wow… how did you know?
you: stalker behavior hoon
the reply came faster than you expected.
sunghoon: just a guess
sunghoon: you kind of seem predictable
you smiled at that, your fingers moving without much thought now.
you: oh?
you: and what else do i “seem” like?
sunghoon: someone who overthinks enzyme kinetics
you let out a quiet laugh, your head tilting slightly as you leaned back again, your pen forgotten somewhere on your desk.
you: okay rude
you: and accurate but still rude
another message came in almost immediately.
sunghoon: told you
sunghoon: you just think too much
you rolled your eyes, though there was a softness in your expression that didn’t match the reaction.
you: and you think too little
sunghoon: that’s not true
sunghoon: i think about important things
your brows lifted slightly.
this time, the pause was longer. you found yourself staring at the screen without meaning to, your thumb hovering slightly, your attention completely pulled in.
your breath caught just a little. you stared at the message for a second longer than necessary before replying.
you: oh yeah?
you: you mean our “not a date” date?
sunghoon: i said it’s not a date
sunghoon: it’s just… us going out
you: mmhmm
you: sounds like a date to me
sunghoon: …you’re impossible
you let out a quiet laugh under your breath, resting your chin lightly in your hand as you typed.
you: and yet you asked me out
time passed without you noticing. minutes blending into each other, your notes completely abandoned at some point as your attention stayed locked onto your phone instead.
you shifted slightly in your chair, pulling your legs up as you leaned back more comfortably, your entire focus now on him.
sunghoon: so friday
sunghoon: what time are you free?
you thought about it for a second.
you: afternoon?
you: i have class in the morning
sunghoon: that works
sunghoon: i’ll pick you up
your brows lifted slightly.
sunghoon: what does that mean
you smiled, biting lightly on your bottom lip without really thinking about it.
you: nothing
you: just… gentleman behavior
there was a noticeable delay this time. and when he finally replied-
your smile softened. you shifted slightly in your seat, your fingers tapping lightly against your phone before typing again.
you: so where are we going?
sunghoon: it’s a surprise
you blinked, then sat up a little straighter without realizing it.
sunghoon: yeah
sunghoon: you’ll like it
something about that, the confidence, certainty; it made your chest tighten just slightly. in a way you weren’t expecting. you stared at the screen for a second, your lips pressing together faintly before you typed again.
you: you sound very sure of yourself
you: okay… now I’m curious
you exhaled quietly, your gaze lingering on the screen for a moment longer than necessary, a faint warmth settling in your chest that you didn’t really try to push away. at some point, you leaned back fully in your chair, your notes completely forgotten, your room quiet around you as the conversation continued in soft, easy waves.
and without really realizing it- you were looking forward to friday, more than you probably should have.
friday came faster than you expected. it didn’t feel like a slow buildup, didn’t feel like something you had been waiting for all week- until suddenly it was here, and you were standing in the middle of your room with music playing softly in the background, your heart just a little too aware of itself.
your room looked different today, like it reflected the small reset you had forced yourself into earlier in the week. clothes neatly folded, desk organized, everything in place, except for you, standing in front of your mirror, turning slightly from side to side as you adjusted the way your outfit sat against your body.
a short skirt hugged your hips just right, soft fabric brushing against your thighs every time you shifted your weight, paired with a slightly oversized sweater that slipped off one shoulder without you even trying- like it belonged there, casual but intentional. it made you look softer somehow, effortless. your hair fell down your back in loose curls, each strand catching the light in a way that made it look almost too perfect, and tied delicately at the back with a ribbon, simple, pretty, the kind of detail that didn’t scream for attention but made everything come together. you weren’t overdoing it, not really. but you cared, more than you were willing to admit out loud.
you leaned in just slightly, smoothing your hair down, fingers running through the soft brown strands before letting them fall naturally again. your lips pressed together faintly as you reached for your gloss, applying it slowly, carefully, like the extra second mattered more than it actually did. you picked up your perfume without thinking twice, spraying it lightly against your neck, your wrists. the familiar vanilla scent settled around you almost instantly; soft, warm, just sweet enough without being too much. It clung to your skin in a way that felt comforting, grounding.
you paused for a second after, breathing it in faintly, your shoulders relaxing just a little. and that’s when your phone buzzed. you turned your head immediately, reaching for it almost without thinking, your heart doing something small and noticeable as you saw his name light up your screen.
your lips curved before you could stop them. you stared at the message for a second longer than necessary, like letting it sink in made it more real somehow. you exhaled quietly through your nose, locking your phone and grabbing your purse and keys in one smooth motion, your movements just a little quicker now, a little more purposeful.
before leaving, you caught your reflection one more time, paused, then leaned in just slightly, running the gloss over your lips one last time. a small habit. you turned, heading for the door, your heartbeat just a little louder than before as you stepped out, locking it behind you without thinking twice. down the hallway, down the stairs. each step making it feel a little more real. a little closer. and for the first time since this whole thing started, you weren’t overthinking it.
the air outside felt different the moment you stepped out; cooler, quieter- like the world had softened just a little compared to the warmth and noise of your dorm.
the door clicked shut behind you, the sound echoing faintly in the stillness, and for a second, you didn’t move. your fingers tightened just slightly around the strap of your purse, your heart suddenly very aware of itself, beating a little faster than usual, a little heavier with something you didn’t want to name yet. and then, you saw him. sunghoon stood just a few steps away, leaning against the car in a way that looked like he had tried to seem relaxed, but didn’t quite pull it off. one shoulder rested lightly against the side, his posture just a little too stiff, like he wasn’t fully settled in his own body yet. his gaze had been somewhere else at first- down, maybe, or lost in his own thoughts, but the second he noticed you stepping out- everything about him changed.
his eyes found you instantly, and it was like something inside him shifted all at once. they lit up, actually lit up, in a way you hadn’t seen before, like all the nervous energy he’d been holding onto suddenly turned into something warmer, something softer, something that belonged entirely to you being there. the color rose to his face almost immediately, brushing pink across his cheeks and creeping up to the tips of his ears, so obvious it made your chest tighten just slightly.
and then you noticed it, the bouquet in his hand. your steps slowed just a fraction as your eyes dropped to it, taking in the familiar colors, the way the flowers were wrapped carefully, like he had put actual thought into it- not something random, not something last-minute. your favorite flowers. your breath caught, you hadn’t told him that. not directly, not clearly enough for him to just… know. and yet there they were, wrapped neatly in his hand like it was the most natural thing in the world.
your thoughts didn’t even get to finish, because he looked up, and the second his eyes found you, he didn’t say anything. just stood there watching you; like he had forgotten how to speak, like he needed a second to process the fact that you were actually in front of him, not just a message on his phone, not just someone sitting next to him in class, but here, dressed up, standing in front of him like this.
you felt it- the way his attention stayed on you. it made your steps feel slower, softer, your expression shifting without you realizing it- your usual confidence melting into something quieter, something more careful as you walked toward him.
when you finally stopped in front of him, the distance between you felt smaller than it should have. your gaze dropped briefly to the flowers again, your lips curving into a soft smile that you didn’t try to hide this time, your fingers brushing lightly against the edge of the bouquet as he held it out to you. “not a date, huh?” you murmured, your voice gentle, laced with a teasing softness that didn’t quite hide how sweet you thought it was. the reaction you got was immediate.
a quiet, almost breathless exhale left him as his free hand lifted to the back of his neck, fingers scratching lightly at it in that familiar, nervous habit you had already come to recognize. his gaze dropped for a second, then flickered back up, then away again, like he couldn’t quite decide where to look. “…i-uh.” he started, the words catching in his throat before he even finished the sentence. he swallowed, tried again. but then- he looked at you, really looked this time.
his eyes moved; quickly, but not unnoticeably, taking in the way your sweater slipped off your shoulder, the soft fall of your curled hair, the ribbon tied neatly at the back, the way everything about you came together in a way that made it hard to focus on anything else. and whatever he had been about to say changed. “…you look pretty.” it came out quieter than he probably meant it to. not practiced. and that- that was what got you, the way there was no teasing in it. no hesitation once the words were out, just something honest, something simple that didn’t try to be anything more than what it was.
you felt it immediately, the warmth rising to your cheeks before you could stop it, your fingers tightening just slightly around the bouquet as you looked back at him, your smile faltering just a little- not disappearing, just… softening, because the way he said it, it wasn’t just a compliment, it felt like something he meant. for a second, you just stood there, holding the bouquet in your hands, your fingers lightly brushing over the petals like you were making sure they were real, like this moment was real. the way he was looking at you, the way he had said it.
your eyes dropped briefly, a small, almost shy smile forming on your lips as you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, the motion slower than usual, more careful, like you suddenly didn’t trust your hands to act normal. “thank you, hoon,” you murmured quietly, your voice softer than it had been before, gentler in a way that matched the way your chest felt. his name left your lips so naturally now, and somehow, that made him freeze for just a second. not completely, not in an obvious way, but enough that you caught it. the slight pause, the way his shoulders stiffened before relaxing again, the way his gaze flickered back to you like he was trying to process something small but important. “…yeah,” he said after a moment, clearing his throat lightly, his voice a little quieter than usual. “of course.”
he moved then, almost like he needed something to do, stepping around the car quickly, his movements just slightly rushed, just slightly more deliberate than necessary as he reached for the passenger side. you watched him without saying anything, the corners of your lips still curved faintly as he opened the door for you, holding it open with a quiet kind of attentiveness that didn’t feel forced. “please,” he said softly, stepping back just enough to give you space.
there was something about the way he did it- simple, polite, careful, that made your chest tighten again, just a little. you stepped closer, brushing past him as you got in, the faint scent of his cologne mixing with the vanilla still lingering on your skin for just a second. you settled into the seat, smoothing your skirt slightly as you adjusted, placing the bouquet carefully on your lap like it was something fragile. the door closed gently behind you. and for a moment, you just sat there, your fingers tracing lightly over the flowers again, your thoughts quieter now, softer.
a second later, the driver’s side door opened. sunghoon slid in, movements controlled but just slightly tense, like he was still aware of everything all at once, where to put his hands, how to sit, how to act like this wasn’t affecting him as much as it clearly was. he shut the door, the sound a little louder in the small space of the car, and for a brief second, neither of you spoke, just the quiet hum of the outside world.
he reached forward, starting the engine, the soft vibration filling the space as the car came to life. his hands rested on the steering wheel for a moment longer than necessary. he glanced at you, just for a second, before looking back ahead again. for a moment, the quiet in the car lingered- soft, almost fragile, like neither of you wanted to break it too quickly. the low hum of the engine filled the space, steady and grounding, but everything else felt… a little too aware.
sunghoon adjusted his grip on the steering wheel, then seemed to hesitate, like he was thinking about something. his fingers tapped lightly once, twice- before he reached for his phone, unlocking it quickly, almost instinctively, like he needed something to ease the tension settling in his chest. he glanced at you, and this time, when he did- he smiled. not the small, hesitant one from earlier, but something a little more relaxed. a little more him. “be the dj tonight?” he said, holding his phone out toward you, his voice soft but steadier now, like he was easing into this- into you.
you couldn’t help the small giggle that slipped out, your fingers brushing against his as you took the phone from his hand, the contact brief but enough to make his breath catch just slightly before he looked away again, pretending to focus on pulling out of the parking spot.
“careful,” you teased lightly, already unlocking it further and opening spotify. “you might regret giving me this much power.”
“…i doubt it,” he muttered, though there was a hint of amusement in his voice now. you smiled to yourself, scrolling through his playlists, your head tilting slightly as you skimmed over the names- some organized, some a little too specific, some that made you raise your eyebrows just a little.
the opening of pyramids by Frank Ocean filled the car, smooth and slow, the sound settling into the space like it belonged there. you leaned back slightly in your seat, satisfied, still scrolling absentmindedly through his playlists while the music played, your fingers moving lazily over the screen.
and then, you paused. a soft giggle slipped out before you could stop it. sunghoon glanced at you immediately, brows pulling together just slightly in confusion. “…what?” he asked. you turned your head toward him, a small smile playing on your lips, your tone light, teasing, but gentle.
“didn’t take you as a dean listener.” his hands tightened on the steering wheel, his ears tinting pink again almost immediately, his gaze flickering between the road and you like he wasn’t sure whether to defend himself or pretend he didn’t hear you. “…it’s not- ” he started, then stopped, clearly reconsidering his words. a quiet exhale left him. “…it’s just a few songs,” he muttered, his voice a little lower now, like he was suddenly aware of himself again. you smiled a little wider, leaning your head slightly against the seat as you watched him for just a second longer than necessary. “mmhmm,” you hummed softly.
you rested your elbow lightly against the door, turning slightly toward him, the bouquet still settled carefully on your lap, your fingers absentmindedly tracing the edges of the wrapping as you spoke. “so,” you started, your voice light, almost curious, “do you actually like biochem, or are you just… freakishly good at it for no reason?” sunghoon let out a quiet breath through his nose, something between a laugh and a sigh, his grip on the steering wheel loosening just slightly as he glanced at you for a second before looking back at the road.
“i like it,” he said, simply at first, then added after a moment, “it just… makes sense to me, i guess. like, there’s always a reason something happens. even if it looks complicated, it’s still predictable once you understand it.” you watched him as he spoke, the way his tone shifted without him realizing it- more confident, more grounded, like this was the one place where he didn’t second guess himself. “that’s so unfair,” you muttered softly, a small smile tugging at your lips. “i feel like i’m constantly trying to catch up.”
“you’re not,” he said immediately, almost too quickly, like the thought of that bothered him more than it should’ve. his brows pulled together slightly, his voice softer now. “you just… need it explained differently sometimes.” you blinked at him. then smiled. “…that’s a very nice way of saying i struggle.” he shook his head lightly, a faint hint of a smile appearing again. “it’s a correct way of saying it.”
you huffed out a quiet laugh, leaning back slightly in your seat, your shoulder relaxing as the conversation shifted naturally “okay, genius,” you teased, your tone softer now, “what about outside of school? or do you just sit in your room solving enzyme equations for fun?”
that made him actually laugh, the sound catching you a little off guard in the best way. “…not always,” he said, glancing at you again, this time holding it for just a second longer. “i mean, sometimes i just stay in. watch something, ice skate, listen to music.” “dean,” you added under your breath.
he rolled his eyes faintly, though the pink at the tips of his ears gave him away immediately. “…sometimes,” he admitted. you smiled, and it felt easy, talking about small things. “so you’ve known jake for a while?” you asked, your tone thoughtful as you looked ahead for a moment, remembering “yeah,” he nodded. “we’re tight, well, he initiated it, he just… started talking to me and never stopped.” you laughed softly. “yeah, i can imagine,” “and heeseung’s been my roommate since second year,” he added. “he’s the only reason i leave the dorm sometimes.”
“so you can be dragged out,” you teased lightly. “…rarely,” he muttered. you smiled to yourself, your fingers still idly playing with the edge of the bouquet, the soft petals brushing against your skin as the conversation slowly, almost without either of you noticing, started to shift. you turned your head slightly, watching him more carefully now, your voice quieter when you spoke again. “…thank you,” you said softly. he blinked. “for what?” “for the tutoring,” you replied, your fingers stilling slightly in your lap. “you didn’t have to do that. or come all the way to my dorm the other day.”
his expression shifted- subtly, but you caught it. the way his shoulders relaxed just a little, the way his grip on the steering wheel loosened again. “…i wanted to,” he said simply. “i’m not always… like that, you know.” you tilted your head slightly. “like what?”
he exhaled softly, his gaze fixed on the road ahead, though you could tell he was thinking more than he was speaking. “…this,” he said after a moment. “talking this much. or… i don’t know, being around people like that.” you didn’t interrupt, just listened “i was always kind of quiet,” he continued, his voice steady but softer now, more honest than before. “don’t really like parties, don’t drink. just… never saw the point, i guess.”
and then it clicked; the memory from the party. you blinked once. and suddenly, you started laughing. it slipped out of you all at once, your shoulders shaking slightly as you leaned back, barely able to catch your breath.
sunghoon immediately glanced at you, startled, his brows pulling together in confusion before he let out a small, confused laugh of his own. “…what?” he asked, glancing between you and the road. you shook your head, still laughing, your hand coming up slightly like you were trying to calm yourself down but failing completely. “i’m sorry” you managed between breaths, your voice soft but broken with laughter. “i just-”
you looked at him, and that might’ve made it even worse. “you were just standing there,” you continued, laughing again, “holding that water bottle like your life depended on it-” he froze, for a second. then groaned quietly, his head dropping just slightly as he shook it. “…please don’t,” he muttered, though there was a faint smile pulling at his lips despite himself.
“i’m serious,” you went on, your voice softer now but still laced with amusement, your eyes bright as you looked at him. “everyone else had drinks and you were just-standing there like, hydration is important.” he let out a quiet laugh, this time more genuine, his shoulders relaxing as he glanced at you again. “i didn’t know what else to say,” he admitted, a little embarrassed now, the pink returning to his cheeks.
“you were so shy,” you added, smiling. “i was shy,” he corrected softly, then paused. “…i still am.” you watched him carefully at that, the way he said it, not defensive, just… honest. “but,” he added after a moment, his voice quieter now, something softer slipping into it, “i don’t feel like that with you., well, not anymore” that made your breath catch, enough that you noticed. you didn’t speak right away. you just… looked at him, and slowly- you moved your hand, resting it gently over his on the center console, your fingers warm against his skin, the contact soft but intentional.
“i’m glad, hoon,” you whispered, your thumb brushing lightly against his hand without even thinking about it. “thank you for trusting me.” “i feel the same.” for a moment, everything stayed exactly as it was. your hand resting over his, warm and soft, your fingers lightly curved like they had found their place there without needing permission. the music played quietly in the background, something slow and smooth weaving through the silence, but it didn’t feel like empty space- it felt like something holding the moment together, like neither of you needed to rush it or fill it with words.
sunghoon didn’t move at first. didn’t pull away, didn’t interrupt it. instead, his fingers shifted slightly beneath yours, subtle enough that you might’ve missed it if you weren’t already so aware of him, like he was grounding himself in the feeling, like he was letting it happen instead of overthinking it for once. and then, he softly squeezed your hand. it wasn’t anything big, not something anyone else would’ve thought twice about, but to you it felt… steady, reassuring, like something quiet being said without words.
your breath caught just a little, your fingers instinctively curling against his before he slowly let go, his hand returning to the wheel, posture straightening just slightly like he was trying to regain control over himself. neither of you said anything, but the warmth lingered. the drive shifted after that. you didn’t notice it immediately, too caught up in the feeling still sitting in your chest, but slowly, the world outside began to change. the streets grew brighter, more alive, colors flickering faintly against the window beside you before growing stronger, more vivid, more impossible to ignore.
you turned your head, brows knitting slightly as you leaned just a little closer to the window, your voice quieter now, threaded with curiosity. “…where are we going?” sunghoon didn’t answer right away. you caught the way his lips pressed together faintly, the way he glanced at you for just a second before looking back at the road, something almost shy in the way he held onto whatever he had planned. “…you’ll see,” he said softly. the car slowed, turned. and then, it came into view.
an entire stretch of light and motion unfolding in front of you, bright colors cutting through the dark sky, rides towering above everything else; roller coasters twisting and looping, their tracks catching the light as they moved, the distant sound of laughter and music carrying through the air like something alive.
your breath caught instantly. “…wait-” you leaned forward slightly, eyes widening as everything came into focus, your voice soft with disbelief. “no way.”
sunghoon parked the car, the engine going quiet, but you barely registered it, because you were still looking, still taking it in, still smiling in that way that wasn’t careful or controlled, but completely real.
“…i haven’t been somewhere like this since i was really little,” you said softly, your voice carrying something almost nostalgic now, like the memory had been sitting somewhere in the back of your mind waiting to be pulled forward. “like-actually little. I forgot what it felt like.”
you turned to him then, your eyes still bright, something lighter in your expression now. “this is so nice, hoon,” you added, your voice warm, genuine.
a small grin tugged at your lips. “but also,” you continued, your tone shifting just slightly, something playful slipping in, “we’re going on everything.”
“…everything?” he repeated, his voice a little more cautious now. you nodded immediately, already turning back toward the window like you were mentally planning it out, excitement building in the way you spoke. “every ride,” you confirmed. “i don’t care how scary it looks.”
there was a pause, a very brief one. sunghoon glanced at the towering roller coaster in the distance, then back at you. “…yeah,” he said, nodding once, like he had already decided he wasn’t backing out of this. “of course.” but the way his grip tightened just slightly on the steering wheel, the faint hesitation in his voice, gave him away completely.
the moment you both stepped out of the car, the atmosphere hit you all at once. it was louder here; brighter, warmer, alive in a way that wrapped around you instantly. the air carried a mix of things; sweet, sugary scents from nearby stands, the distant echo of laughter, the sharp metallic rush of rides cutting through the night. lights flickered everywhere, casting soft colors across your face as you walked side by side toward the entrance.
and without even realizing it, you were smiling, aunghoon noticed immediately. he stayed just half a step behind you for a moment as you both walked in, his gaze drifting toward you more often than anything else around him. the way you looked around, taking everything in like it actually meant something to you, like this wasn’t just another place, but something you were genuinely excited about.
and it did something to him, quietly. he smiled too. the moment you passed through the entrance, it felt like stepping into something completely different. everything was louder now, closer, more vivid- the music, the chatter, the movement of people passing by, the glowing lights stretching overhead like something out of a dream. rides towered around you, some spinning, some dropping, some twisting through the air, each one more tempting than the last. you barely had time to take a full breath before your eyes caught onto the first one. it wasn’t the biggest ride there. not the tallest, not the most terrifying, but it moved fast enough, dipping and turning just enough to make your excitement spike instantly.
“oh-” you breathed out, your whole body shifting slightly as you turned toward it, your eyes lighting up. and without thinking, you reached for him. your hand slipped into his, fingers intertwining so naturally, so easily, like it had already happened a hundred times before. sunghoon froze, just for a second. his breath catching slightly as his fingers instinctively tightened around yours, like his body reacted before his mind could even process what was happening. you didn’t seem to notice, or maybe you did and didn’t care. because you were already looking up at him, your smile wide, bright, your eyes practically glowing under the lights as you leaned just a little closer. “can we go on that one?” you asked, your voice full of excitement, almost hopeful in the way it lifted at the end.
he looked down at you, then at your hand in his, then back at your face. and whatever hesitation he might’ve had- whatever nerves, whatever thoughts, they didn’t stand a chance. “…yeah,” he said, his voice softer now, but steady, a small smile forming as his fingers curled more securely around yours. “of course we can.”
the ride slowed gradually, the sharp rush of wind fading into something softer as the cart pulled back into place, the metal creaking lightly as everything came to a stop. your heart was still beating a little faster than usual, adrenaline lingering in your chest as you let out a breath you didn’t even realize you’d been holding. “…that was so fun,” you laughed, your voice still slightly breathless as the safety bar lifted. you stepped out first, your movements a little lighter, a little more unsteady from the rush, your hair completely messed up from the wind; strands falling out of place, framing your face in a way that was anything but put together.
sunghoon stepped off right after you, steady but quieter, his gaze immediately finding you again like it had been doing the entire night. he watched you for a second, taking in the way you looked right now; hair slightly wild, cheeks flushed, eyes still lit up from the ride. and before he could overthink it, he stepped a little closer. leaning down just slightly, his hand lifting without hesitation this time, his fingers gently brushing against your cheek as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. the touch was soft, careful, but it lingered just a second longer than necessary.
“…you’re a mess,” he murmured quietly, a small smile pulling at his lips, there was no teasing in it, just something warm. and then, like he suddenly realized what he’d done, his hand dropped back to his side, his expression shifting just slightly as he cleared his throat under his breath. “…you thirsty?” he added, a little more casually now, though his voice was still softer than before. “we can get something to drink.” you blinked at him once, still caught off guard by the way he had just touched you, but then smiled again, nodding easily. “yeah,” you said. “that sounds good.”
the park felt even more alive now as you moved through it again, the noise wrapping around you, people passing by in every direction, laughter and music blending into something constant. you started walking first, weaving your way through the crowd with small, careful steps, glancing back occasionally just to make sure he was still close, and he was, right behind you. and somewhere in the middle of it, without a word, your hands found each other again. this time a little more naturally, less hesitant.
your fingers slipping into his like it made sense, like it was expected now. sunghoon didn’t react as strongly this time, but the warmth still spread through him immediately, his grip tightening just slightly as he followed your lead through the crowd, letting you guide him without question. when you finally reached one of the drink stands, the line was longer than you expected, people gathered around, voices overlapping, the bright menu glowing above.
you turned toward him, still holding his hand, your expression thoughtful for a second before lighting up again. “can we get slushies?” you asked, your tone hopeful, almost playful as you tilted your head slightly. “…yeah,” he said, a small smile forming again. “of course.” you stepped forward slightly, looking up at the options before pointing without hesitation. “strawberry,” you said. “that one’s my favorite.”
he let out a quiet breath through his nose, shaking his head just slightly, a soft, amused expression settling on his face. “…of course you’re choosing that one,” he muttered under his breath. you gasped lightly, immediately pushing his shoulder in mock offense, your laugh slipping out right after. “what’s that supposed to mean?” you shot back, smiling.
“nothing,” he said quickly, though he was already smiling too now, his eyes softening as he looked at you. “mhm,” you hummed, unconvinced, but still laughing. “and you?” you added, glancing at him. he looked back at the menu briefly. “…blue raspberry,” he said. you smiled. “that checks out.” he let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head again just as the line moved forward, both of you stepping up together. when it was finally your turn, you stepped up to the counter together, the bright lights of the stand reflecting off the plastic cups stacked behind the vendor, the hum of machines blending into the background noise of the park.
“i’ve got this one,” you said quickly, already reaching for your bag, your tone firm but light, like you had decided it before he could even argue. sunghoon didn’t even hesitate. “…no,” he said just as simply, already pulling out his wallet. you turned to him immediately, narrowing your eyes just slightly. “hoon.” he glanced at you, completely unfazed this time, a small, almost amused smile tugging at his lips like he already knew how this was going to go. “you can get the next one,” he said, calm, steady. “you said that last time.”
“and i meant it,” he replied, handing the money over before you could stop him. you let out a small huff, shaking your head as you crossed your arms lightly, though there was still a smile lingering on your face. “…you’re impossible.”
“mm,” he hummed softly. “I’ve been told.” but there was something different about him now, less hesitant, less unsure. still gentle, but more comfortable, like he wasn’t second-guessing every little thing anymore. when your drinks were handed to you, the cold plastic pressed against your fingers immediately, condensation already forming along the sides. you took a quick sip of your strawberry slushie, the sweetness hitting instantly, refreshing after the warmth of the night.
“okay, this is actually really good,” you said, glancing at him. sunghoon took a sip of his own, nodding slightly. “yeah, it’s-” you didn’t wait. “lemme try,” you said, already reaching for his cup. you took a sip, tilting your head slightly as you considered it. “oh wait,” you said, eyebrows lifting. “this one’s good too.” “…you just wanted mine,” he said flatly, though there was a faint smile hiding in his tone.
“obviously,” you replied, handing it back before holding yours out toward him. “try mine.” he looked at you for a second. then leaned in slightly, taking a sip from your cup, his hand brushing yours briefly as he steadied it. “…yeah,” he said after a moment. “yours is better.” you grinned.
“i know.” both of you laughed softly after that, the sound blending into the noise around you as you started walking again, shoulders occasionally brushing, your hands finding each other again without needing to think about it.
you wandered from place to place, sometimes stopping at small games, sometimes just walking and talking, the conversation shifting naturally between random things-comments about the rides, teasing each other, small jokes that didn’t really matter but still made both of you laugh. at one point, you stopped in front of a claw machine, the soft glow of it catching your attention immediately.
“wait,” you said, tugging his hand slightly. “that’s cute.” inside was a pile of plushies, pastel-colored, slightly unevenly stacked, one of them, a small teddy bear, tilted just enough to be tempting. sunghoon glanced at it, then at you. “…you want one?” he asked. you shrugged, smiling lightly. “i mean… if you can get it.”
he stepped forward, letting go of your hand as he pulled out a coin, his focus shifting instantly. his posture straightened just slightly, his eyes narrowing in concentration as he gripped the controls. he adjusted the claw carefully, moving it inch by inch, calculating the angle like it was something he could solve rather than chance. “…you’re taking this really seriously,” you said, laughing softly.
“i am,” he replied without looking at you. the claw dropped. with the teddy bear caught securely, your eyes widened. “no way-” a second later, it dropped into the slot with a soft thud. you turned to him immediately, a surprised laugh slipping out as he reached down and picked it up, handing it to you like it was nothing. “…here.” you stared at it for a second before looking back at him.
“hoon-” he shrugged slightly, a small smile on his face. “it wasn’t that hard.” you laughed, holding the teddy closer to you, something warm settling in your chest again. “thank you,” you said, softer this time.
by the time you suggested the last ride, the night had already settled into something softer.
the lights felt warmer now, the crowds slightly thinner, the air cooler against your skin as you walked side by side, your fingers brushing occasionally like neither of you were even thinking about it anymore. the energy from earlier hadn’t disappeared, it had just… shifted, slowed down, deepened into something quieter, more intentional. and then you saw it, the biggest ride in the park. the tracks twisting high into the sky, the drop steep enough to make your stomach flip just from looking at it, the sound of it rushing down echoed faintly through the air, metal against metal, sharp and fast. your eyes lit up instantly. “that one,” you said, almost immediately, pointing toward it without hesitation, your voice filled with excitement again. “we have to go on that one.”
sunghoon followed your gaze. snd for a second, he didn’t say anything. his eyes traced the height of it, the way it climbed impossibly high before dropping, the speed, the turns, everything about it loud and intense in a way that was very much not him. you looked back at him expectantly, he pressed his lips together. a small, almost imperceptible inhale.
“…yeah,” he said finally, nodding once, like he had already decided there was no way he was backing out now. “okay.”
gosh, the line was long. long enough that the excitement settled into something slower again, the noise of the ride looping overhead every few minutes, the distant screams of people dropping echoing down as a reminder of what was coming. but you didn’t seem to mind, you were talking; about random things again, small stories, little observations, things that didn’t really matter but felt important in the moment. your voice carried easily, light and warm, occasionally laughing at your own words, occasionally nudging him lightly with your shoulder.
sunghoon listened, really listened. he nodded when it made sense, hummed quietly in response, added small comments here and there, but for the most part, he was quieter again. his eyes kept drifting back to the ride. his grip on your hand tightening just slightly every time it rushed down, you noticed. of course you did, but you didn’t call it out. instead, you leaned just a little closer to him as you talked, your voice softening slightly, your thumb brushing lightly against his hand like a quiet reassurance.
“…and then she really said that,” you finished one of your stories, laughing softly as you looked up at him, your eyes catching his again. he blinked, like he had been pulled out of his thoughts. “…that’s insane,” he said, a faint smile forming despite everything. you smiled back, and for a moment, he forgot to look at the ride, because you were right there; talking to him like this, smiling like that, and somehow- that was louder than everything else around him. and each time, his lips pressed into that same thin line again, his shoulders stiffening just slightly before relaxing when you spoke again, pulling him back down, grounding him, keeping him there, with you.
by the time the restraint locked into place, the world around you felt like it had narrowed into something smaller, tighter- like everything outside of this moment had faded just enough to make every little detail sharper. the metal bar pressed firmly across your lap, the seatbelt snug against you, the faint hum of the ride vibrating through the structure beneath your feet. you could hear people talking around you, laughter, nervous chatter, but it all felt distant, like background noise you couldn’t quite focus on anymore.
because next to you, sunghoon’s hand had already found yours. not gently, but instinctively. his fingers wrapped around yours with a kind of urgency that made your breath catch slightly, his grip tighter than it had ever been before, almost like he needed to be sure you were actually there. his palm was warm, but there was tension in it, subtle, but unmistakable. you turned your head toward him, your brows knitting together immediately as you took in the way he looked, his posture was rigid, shoulders slightly raised, jaw tight. and when he glanced at you- that small smile he tried to give you didn’t quite land.
“hoon?” you asked softly, your voice cutting through the noise around you, quieter, more focused. “you okay?” for a second, he didn’t answer, like he was deciding whether to say it or not, then he leaned just slightly closer, his voice dropping low enough that it felt like it existed only between the two of you.
“…yeah,” he said, but it came out too controlled, too measured. and then- after the smallest pause- “…i might’ve forgotten to mention that i’m scared of heights.” your eyes widened instantly. “…you’re joking.” but he didn’t respond, didn’t laugh, didn’t even try to play it off. and that’s when it hit you.
“oh my god,” you breathed, your grip on his hand tightening without thinking, your body already shifting as you glanced toward the operator. “no-okay, we can get off-”
but the moment had already passed. the cart jerked slightly beneath you, then started moving. the mechanical clicking began almost immediately as you were pulled upward, the track guiding you higher inch by inch, each sound sharp and deliberate.
you turned back to him quickly, your voice softer now, but steady, grounding. “it’s okay,” you said, your thumb brushing lightly over his hand, trying to ease some of that tension you could feel in his grip. “just hold my hand.”
sunghoon let out a breath- tight, uneven, his head tilting forward slightly as his eyes shut without hesitation, like that was the only way he could handle it. “…fucking shit,” he muttered under his breath, barely audible, more to himself than anything else.
the cart kept climbing, higher, and higher. the sounds below you started to fade, replaced by the wind brushing faintly against your skin, the open space becoming more noticeable with every second. the park stretched out beneath you now, lights blending into colors, people turning into movement rather than individuals.
sunghoon’s hand tightened again, like he was anchoring himself to you, his thumb pressed slightly against your knuckles, his fingers curling tighter as if letting go wasn’t even an option his body would consider right now. his breathing was shallow, controlled in the way someone tries to stay calm when they’re very much not.
you shifted just slightly in your seat, turning your hand in his so your fingers laced more comfortably with his, your grip steady, intentional. “i’m right here,” you murmured softly, your voice calmer now, more certain.
he didn’t respond with words, but his grip changed. the climb continued, slower now, like it was stretching the moment on purpose, dragging out the anticipation until it settled deep into your chest. at one point, the cart gave a small jolt. sunghoon’s grip reacted instantly; tightening sharply. his shoulders tensing again, a quiet breath catching in his throat as he instinctively leaned just a fraction closer toward you without even realizing it. his eyes stayed shut, but his head turned slightly in your direction.
as everything else kept pulling him higher and higher into the air. the ride slowed down with a long, dragging screech of metal, the cart finally easing back into place after what felt like a blur of adrenaline and wind and noise. your heart was still racing, your breath uneven from laughing and screaming, your hands still gripping the bar for a second longer before you let go.
“…oh my god,” you breathed out, a wide smile still on your face as you turned toward him, energy still buzzing through you. “that was insane-”
but then you saw him, sunghoon was… quieter, not in a bad way, just… recovering.his hand was still loosely wrapped around yours, though his grip had finally relaxed, his shoulders dropping slightly now that everything had stopped moving. his eyes were open again, but there was still a faint tension lingering in them, like his body hadn’t fully caught up to the fact that it was over. and yet, he was smiling, because when he looked at you, all he saw was how happy you were.
“…yeah,” he said quietly, exhaling through his nose, almost like he was letting go of everything he had been holding in during the ride. “you liked it.”
you nodded immediately, still smiling, but then your expression shifted slightly as your excitement settled just enough for something else to take its place.
“…wait,” you said, your brows knitting together as you turned your body more toward him. “hoon-” your hand squeezed his gently now, your voice softer.
“i’m sorry,” you added, more sincerely this time. “i didn’t know you were actually scared of heights. i wouldn’t have made you go if I knew.”
for a second, he just looked at you. then he let out a quiet breath and laughed.
“it’s fine,” he said, shaking his head slightly as he ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back messily. “really. you don’t have to worry about it.”
but then he paused. his eyes flickering back to you, something shifting slightly in his expression. a hint of something playful.
“…actually,” he added, his tone changing just a little, lighter now, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips.
he tilted his head slightly, pretending to think about it for a second, like he was seriously considering his options. “…you should probably make it up to me somehow,” he said. there was a beat of silence. then he laughed softly, almost like he didn’t expect you to take it seriously, but there was still something teasing in it now. you narrowed your eyes slightly, a smile forming again despite yourself. “oh really?”
“yeah,” he nodded, more confidently this time, his shoulders finally relaxing as he stepped off the ride with you, his hand brushing yours again as you both moved aside.
you crossed your arms lightly, tilting your head at him. “okay then,” you said. “what do you want?” sunghoon went quiet for a second, actually thinking. his gaze drifting around the park, scanning the lights, the small attractions, the games, the scattered little booths lined up nearby. and then, his eyes landed on something. he smiled, subtle, but sure. “…there,” he said, nodding toward a small photo booth tucked between two brightly lit stands, the curtain slightly swaying as people stepped in and out.
“a photo booth?” you repeated. he shrugged lightly, but there was something almost shy behind it- like this idea meant more than he was letting on. “yeah,” he said. “i think that’s fair.”
your smile softened instantly. “okay,” you said, stepping a little closer to him again. “let’s do it.” and as you both started walking toward it, it didn’t feel like making up for anything. it just felt like something you both wanted.
the walk to the photo booth felt quieter than everything before it. not silent, but softer. like the noise of the park dimmed just a little around you, like something about the moment had shifted without either of you needing to say it out loud. the lights still glowed around you, people still passed by, laughter still echoed somewhere in the distance, but your attention stayed on him. and his, somehow, stayed on you. when you reached it, the little booth looked almost out of place compared to everything else, tucked between two bright stands, the curtain slightly swaying as someone stepped out, a strip of photos still fresh in their hands. sunghoon pulled the curtain aside for you without thinking. you stepped in first, he followed right after. ynd suddenly, it was just the two of you.
the space inside was small, smaller than you expected. your shoulders almost brushed immediately, your knees nearly touching as you sat down side by side on the narrow bench. the glow of the screen in front of you lit up your faces softly, casting a gentle light that made everything feel just a little more intimate.
“…you pick,” he said quietly, glancing at you. you leaned forward slightly, scrolling through the filters, your shoulder brushing his again, your arm lightly pressing against his as you hovered over the options. “there’s so many,” you murmured, half to yourself, half to him. he watched you for a second. then shook his head faintly. “…plain one’s fine,” he said. you paused, then smiled. “yeah,” you agreed softly. “plain is better.”
the first picture snapped. neither of you had really reacted in time. it caught you both mid-movement, slightly turned toward each other, your expressions not fully set, like you hadn’t quite realized the camera had gone off yet. it wasn’t posed, it wasn’t planned. it just… was.
you both let out a small laugh right after, the sound soft and a little surprised, your shoulders brushing more fully now as you adjusted in your seat. “okay, wait,” you said, smiling as you leaned back slightly. “this one we actually try.” sunghoon nodded, a faint smile on his lips now, more relaxed than before. the second countdown started. this time, you were ready.
you turned slightly toward the camera, your shoulder pressed lightly against his, your smile wide, genuine, your eyes bright under the soft glow. he did the same. and when it snapped, it captured both of you like that.
the third countdown started. you turned toward him instinctively, your smile still lingering as you leaned just a little closer, your voice soft, playful. “wait—what should we do for this one?” you asked, your head tilting slightly as you looked up at him, but he didn’t answer, because he wasn’t looking at the screen anymore. he was looking at you; at your eyes, then your lips. and something about the way you were sitting- close, warm, your voice soft, your expression open, it made everything else fade. the countdown kept going.
you were still talking. “…we could-”, but he didn’t hear the rest, not really. because before he could think, before he could stop himself, he leaned in. slow at first, like he wasn’t fully sure, like he was giving himself time to pull back if he needed to, but he didn’t. and neither did you. your breath caught for just a second, your words falling away mid-sentence as your eyes flickered to his lips, then back to his eyes- and then you leaned in too. your lips met softly at first, careful; like both of you were testing something fragile. but the moment it happened- something shifted.
your hand moved instinctively, fingers curling slightly into his sleeve as you leaned in just a little more, your lips pressing more firmly against his, your body angling closer without hesitation. sunghoon responded immediately. his hand moved to your side, steadying you, pulling you just a fraction closer as the kiss deepened- not rushed, not overwhelming, but real. the camera flashed, capturing it. but neither of you noticed, not right away. because for a second, it was just that; the feeling of it, the warmth, the way everything else disappeared. your lips brushing once more before separating, your breath still close to his, your foreheads resting gently against each other without either of you thinking about it.
your eyes met, and for a moment, neither of you said anything. you just smiled- soft, a little breathless, a little surprised, but real. the final picture snapped, capturing that moment; your foreheads gently touching, your eyes soft, your smiles small but full.
and somehow, it felt like the most important one of all.
the walk back to the car was slow. not because either of you said anything about it, but because neither of you sped it up. your steps matched without trying, shoulders brushing lightly every now and then, the contact lingering just a second longer each time before easing apart again. you were still holding the bouquet, your fingers loosely wrapped around the stems, occasionally adjusting them like you needed something to do with your hands. the night air was cooler now, brushing softly against your skin, but it didn’t feel cold.
when you reached the car, sunghoon moved ahead just slightly, like he had already decided what to do before thinking about it too much. he opened the passenger door for you, his hand resting lightly against it as he stepped back, giving you space. “thank you,” you murmured, your voice soft, your eyes lifting to meet his for just a second before you stepped in. he nodded quickly, almost like he didn’t trust himself to say anything without overthinking it, closing the door gently behind you before walking around to the driver’s side. he sat down, adjusting slightly in his seat, his hands resting on the steering wheel for a moment before he started the engine. the soft hum filled the space again, familiar now, grounding.
you both stopped, turned, looked at each other. and then you both laughed. A little embarrassed, a little shy. you shook your head slightly, smiling. “you go,” you said quietly. he exhaled through his nose, the faintest smile still on his lips as he glanced at you before looking back ahead. “…i was just going to ask if you had a good time,” he admitted, his voice gentle, a little more relaxed now. you shifted slightly in your seat, the bouquet resting against your lap as your fingers tightened around it just a little. “i did,” you said, softer this time, more sincere. “i really did. it was… really nice. there was a small pause. he nodded once, his grip on the wheel loosening slightly.
“…i’m glad,” he said quietly. “i had a good time too.” the drive back was quiet, but not empty. the music played softly in the background, low enough that it blended into the silence instead of interrupting it. you leaned back slightly in your seat, your head resting gently against it, your gaze drifting out the window for a moment before shifting back toward him. every now and then, he’d glance at you. quick, like he didn’t want to get caught. and every time, you noticed, but didn’t say anything. you just let it happen.
the car slowed down gradually, not in a sudden stop but in that smooth, careful way that made the end of the drive feel like it was stretching itself out- like it didn’t want to arrive just yet. the headlights washed over the front of your building, illuminating the entrance you’d walked through a hundred times before, but tonight it didn’t feel the same. tonight it felt like something you were being brought back to, not just going home to. you shifted slightly in your seat, the bouquet still resting in your lap, your fingers loosely wrapped around the stems, though your attention wasn’t really on them anymore. you were aware of the faint rustle of the wrapping every time your hands moved, the soft scent of the flowers mixing with the lingering vanilla on your skin, but your focus kept drifting back to him, to the quiet between you, to the way the night hadn’t felt forced at any point.
sunghoon didn’t move immediately. his hands stayed on the steering wheel, fingers curled around it like he needed something steady to hold onto, his gaze fixed forward even though there was nothing left to focus on. the engine was still running for a second longer, the low hum filling the silence, before he finally reached forward and turned it off. the sound disappeared, and the quiet that followed felt heavier than before. he inhaled slowly, like he was grounding himself, then pushed the door open and stepped out, his movements careful, a little slower than usual, like he was aware, very aware, of every second passing now.
from inside, you watched him walk around the front of the car, the dim light catching the edges of his figure, the way his hand brushed lightly against the hood without him realizing it, like a small, absent habit just to keep himself occupied. he didn’t rush, he didn’t hesitate either.
he reached your side and opened your door. cool air slipped in immediately, brushing against your legs, your arms, carrying with it the quiet of the night that felt so different from the warmth inside the car. you looked up at him, your gaze lifting slowly, and he was already looking at you. you shifted forward, carefully stepping out, your hand brushing lightly against the edge of the door for balance before you straightened, the bouquet still held gently in your other hand. for a second, you stood close to him, closer than necessary, close enough to notice the faint shift in his breathing, the way his shoulders moved as he stepped back just slightly to give you space.
he closed the door behind you. and without needing to say anything, he started walking toward the building. you followed immediately, falling into step beside him like it was instinct, your pace matching his without effort. the space between you wasn’t distant, it never had been, but it wasn’t fully closed either. it sat somewhere in between, where your arms brushed occasionally, where your shoulder would graze his just slightly, the contact lingering for a fraction longer each time before easing apart again.
the entrance got closer with every step, the familiar door standing just ahead of you now, the quiet of the night wrapping around everything in a way that made the moment feel smaller and bigger at the same time. when you reached it- you stopped. and so did he.
you turned toward him slowly, your body fully facing his now, the bouquet held a little closer to your chest, your fingers tightening just slightly around the stems before loosening again. your eyes lifted to meet his, and for a second, you just looked at him. the faint pink still lingering on his cheeks, the way his gaze stayed on you, steady but soft, the way he didn’t seem in a rush to break it. “thank you, again.” you said quietly, your voice softer than it had been all night, more careful now, like the words carried more weight here. “for tonight. i really… enjoyed it.”
he didn’t respond immediately, his eyes stayed on yours for a second longer, like he was taking it in, like he needed that extra moment before answering. then he nodded once, slow and subtle, his expression softening in a way that made your chest tighten just slightly. “…me too,” he said, his voice just as quiet. “i had a great time, too” he shifted his weight slightly, like he was about to step back, like he was about to end it there. “…goodnight,” he added, softer this time.
your fingers adjusted slightly around the bouquet, then slowly, almost without you fully thinking it through, you let one hand fall free from it. your fingers wrapped around his hand gently, the contact soft but intentional, your touch warm against his skin. It wasn’t sudden, it wasn’t rushed, it was slow enough that he felt it before it fully happened.
his fingers didn’t move right away, his body stilling like his brain hadn’t caught up yet, like he didn’t know what to do with it, but he didn’t pull away. your grip tightening ever so slightly as you tugged him down toward you, your movement small but enough to close the distance between you without making it feel forced.
your heart was louder now, you could feel it. but you didn’t stop. you leaned in and pressed your lips softly against his cheek, it wasn’t rushed. it wasn’t hesitant either.
your lips lingering just long enough for him to feel it fully before you pulled away again, the space between you returning slowly.
“…goodnight, hoon,” you whispered, your voice quiet, softer than anything you had said all night, close enough that he could feel it more than hear it.
you let go of his hand slowly, your fingers brushing against his for just a second longer before slipping away completely, the warmth of his skin fading from yours.
your hand finding the door handle, pushing it open as you stepped inside, the warmth of the building wrapping around you instantly, replacing the cool air from outside.
the door began to close behind you and just before it did, you glanced back. only for a second, long enough to see him still standing there, exactly where you left him, hand still slightly lifted like he hadn’t fully come back to himself yet. his cheeks flushed, his expression soft. and his lips, curved into a smile he clearly wasn’t trying to hide.
sunghoon’s already had his first kiss, so why does it feel like you were his first?
the thought sits stubbornly in his mind, looping in a way he can’t shut off, following him from the moment he grips the steering wheel to the second he pulls away from your building, his hands steady but his thoughts anything but. because it doesn’t make sense, he knows it doesn’t. he remembers his first kiss, remembers where it happened, who it was with, remembers how little it meant even as it was happening. it had been quick, forgettable, something that didn’t stay longer than a few minutes after it ended. but you, you didn’t just stay. you lingered.
and it’s not just the kiss on his cheek, even though that alone had been enough to mess with his head more than anything should. it’s everything before that. the photo booth, the cramped little space, the way your knees brushed his, the way your laughter filled the tiny enclosure until it felt too small to contain it, the way the camera flashed once, twice, three times, and somewhere between those moments, you had leaned closer, your forehead brushing his, your breath mixing with his in a way that made his chest tighten without warning.
he tightens his grip on the wheel slightly at the memory, his jaw tensing as he exhales through his nose, eyes flicking briefly to the road before focusing again. “…fuck,” he mutters under his breath, the word slipping out before he can stop it. because that’s the problem, it didn’t feel like just a kiss, it felt like something happened. and now he can’t go back to how things were before that moment, even if he tried.
his phone buzzes again in the passenger seat, lighting up briefly, pulling his attention away for just a second before he reaches over at a red light, unlocking it without thinking.
your name. of course it’s you.
his chest tightens immediately, something warm settling there as he opens the message.
you: i still can’t believe you got me flowers btw
his lips press together, but the hint of a smile pulls through anyway, small and unintentional, his fingers hovering over the screen for a second before he types back.
sunghoon: you deserve them
he stares at it for half a second before sending, then locks his phone again, tossing it gently back onto the seat as the light turns green, his heart’s still beating faster than it should.
the days after that night don’t feel separate. your messages come easier; more frequent, less hesitant. you text him in the morning, sometimes before he even has the chance to reach for his phone first, your name lighting up his screen before he’s fully awake.
you: good morning hoon
you: did u sleep or did u stay up overthinking again
he exhales quietly at that, a soft scoff leaving him as he types back without thinking.
and somehow, that turns into a conversation that stretches longer than it should, messages going back and forth until he’s fully awake, until he’s sitting up in bed without realizing it, his entire focus on you instead of anything else he was supposed to be doing.
and then there’s the tutoring.
except, It’s not really tutoring anymore, not fully. he knows that, you know that. but neither of you say it out loud, because it always starts like tutoring. he sits next to you, notebook open, pen in hand, explaining something in that calm, focused way of his, his voice steady as he walks you through equations, concepts, things that should make sense on paper.
“so if the system is absorbing heat, the enthalpy change is positive,” he says, pointing at your notes, his shoulder brushing yours lightly as he leans closer.
you really do try, but then-
“…you always talk like that?” you murmur, your voice softer now, teasing slipping into it without effort. he pauses. “…like what?” “like a textbook,” you smile faintly, tilting your head as you look at him instead of the page.
and just like that, he loses his place. his pen stills, his thoughts scatter. “…i don’t-” he starts, then stops, his brows pulling together slightly as he tries to recover, his ears already turning pink. “you’re not even listening,” he had said once, trying-trying-to sound serious, his brows pulling together just slightly. “i am,” you had smiled back, your chin resting in your hand, your eyes on him instead of the page. “you’re just distracting.”
“…how am I distracting?” he asked, genuinely confused, completely thrown off.
you didn’t answer, just looked at him and smiled. and that was enough to ruin him completely for the next five minutes. it happens like that every time. a few minutes of actual studying, then talking, then laughing, then him forgetting what he was explaining in the first place because you said something that threw him off completely, and somewhere in between, it stops feeling like something he’s doing for you. and starts feeling like something he just wants to keep doing.
so when your name flashes on his screen again, now, while he’s driving, he doesn’t hesitate. not even a second. he answers immediately, his voice softer than usual, more attentive. “…hello?”
“hoon,” your voice comes through, a little strained this time, a little more frustrated than usual, but still unmistakably you. “i don’t get this at all.” he straightens slightly. “what are you talking about, love?” he asks, already focusing, completely ignoring the nickname that just came out of his mouth. “this thermodynamics thing,” you sigh, and he can practically picture you, brows drawn together, lips slightly parted in frustration. “like i understand parts of it, but then it just..stops making sense.”
his grip tightens slightly on the wheel. “…enthalpy? entropy?” he asks, already narrowing it down. “enthalpy,” you say immediately. “and like the equations, i don’t know when to use what.” he doesn’t even think. “i’ll come over.” the words come out so naturally it almost surprises him. there’s a pause. “…what?”
“i’ll come over,” he repeats, already turning the wheel slightly, his route shifting without him consciously deciding to do it. “it’s easier if I explain it in person.”
“…you don’t have to,” you say, softer now. “i know,” he replies. and he does. he knows, but that doesn’t matter, because this is what he wants. “i’ll be there in ten,” he adds, his voice steady, certain.
by the time the knock comes, you’re already halfway to the door. you don’t even realize how fast you moved until your hand is already on the handle, your heart just a little too quick, your thoughts scattered somewhere between thermodynamics and him. the door opens, and there he is. sunghoon stands there, one hand still loosely holding his keys, the other resting by his side, his posture a little more relaxed than it used to be, but not completely. his eyes find yours almost instantly, and something in his expression softens the second he sees you, like whatever was going on in his head before this just… quiets.
“hey,” he says, voice low, easy. “hey,” you reply just as softly, but there’s a smile already pulling at your lips. you don’t hesitate, you step forward and hug him. your arms wrap around him naturally, like you’ve done it before, even if you haven’t like this, and for a second, he freezes just slightly before relaxing into it, his arms coming up around you a moment later, slower, but just as sure. you pull back first, but not far, your hands still brushing lightly against his arms as you step aside. “come in,” you say, softer now. he nods, stepping inside, his eyes flicking around your space briefly before settling back on you, like he’s checking, like he’s grounding himself.
“do you want something to drink?” you ask, already moving a little further in. “i’m okay,” he says, shaking his head lightly, though his attention lingers on you more than anything else. you nod once, then lead him into your room. and the second he steps in, he notices. papers. everywhere. on your bed, scattered in uneven piles, notes overlapping, pages half-folded, diagrams circled and crossed out like you’ve been trying to make sense of something for way too long. you sit down on your bed almost immediately, pushing a few papers aside to make space, tucking one leg under you as you exhale quietly.
sunghoon takes the chair by your desk, sitting down slowly, his gaze still scanning over the mess before landing back on you. “…you’ve really been studying, baby, hm.” the word slips out so casually it almost doesn’t register at first, but then it does.
you look up immediately, a slow smirk forming as you tilt your head slightly. “oh,” you say, voice light, teasing, “so it’s baby now, huh?” he blinks, just once. then looks away, reaching for one of the papers like nothing happened, like he didn’t just say that. “…you said you didn’t understand,” he mutters, completely dodging it, his ears just slightly pink. you huff out a quiet laugh under your breath, but you let it go, for now. “yeah,” you sigh, picking up a paper and holding it up like evidence. “i really don’t.” he nods, leaning forward slightly, his tone shifting into something more focused as he starts explaining, his pen moving across the page, writing out equations, pointing at steps, breaking things down the way he always does. “okay, so look, if the system absorbs heat, delta H is positive, right? so here-”
you try, you really do. you look where he points, you follow the numbers, you nod at the right times. but your eyes keep drifting, to his hands, to the way his hair falls slightly into his face, to the way his lips move when he explains something he understands so well.
and eventually, you stop pretending. he notices, of course he does.
his voice trails off mid-explanation, the pen slowing before stopping completely as he looks at you more closely, his brows pulling together just slightly. “…you’re not even trying,” he says, but his tone isn’t sharp. it’s softer, observing. you don’t answer, just look at him, and that’s enough. he exhales quietly, placing the paper down on your bed, the pen following a second later as he leans back slightly in his chair. then, without making it a big deal, he stands up, walks over, and lays down next to you. his head turns slightly toward you, his expression softer now, less focused on the work and more on you. “…what’s up with you today?” he asks quietly.
you sigh, turning your head to look at him, your expression softer now, less playful, more honest. “just…” you start, your voice quieter than before, “…missed you.” there’s a small pause, you hold his gaze. “feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” the words sit there between you, simple, but they land. he doesn’t look away, doesn’t joke, doesn’t deflect. he just… looks at you. and something in his expression shifts again, softening in a way that feels real, unguarded. “…you saw me yesterday,” he murmurs, but his voice is quieter now, almost like he’s saying it more to himself than to you. you smile faintly. “yeah,” you say softly. “still.”
that makes his lips press together slightly, like he’s holding something back, but he doesn’t pull away. instead, his hand shifts, slowly finding yours. his fingers slide against yours, not fully interlocking, just… there. careful, like he’s testing it without making it obvious.
his thumb brushes softly against your fingers, back and forth. his gaze flickers briefly toward your desk. the vase, the flowers. still there, still fresh. “…you still have the flowers i gave you,” he says quietly, his voice softer now, his attention half on you, half on the small detail that somehow means more than it should. you watch his gaze drift toward the vase, following it for a second before your eyes settle back on him, softer now, your fingers still resting in his as they absentmindedly move together. “yeah,” you murmur quietly, your voice gentle, almost fond, “it was really sweet, hoon.”
he looks back at you, fully now, his lips parting just slightly before pressing together again, like he doesn’t quite know what to do with that kind of honesty, with the way you’re looking at him right now. “' ‘m glad you liked them,” he says quietly.
and for a second everything slows. his gaze lingers, not just on your eyes. it flickers. down to your lips. then back up again. then down again, like he’s not even trying to hide it anymore. your breath catches-just slightly. not enough to break the moment, just enough to feel it. the space between you feels smaller now, closer than before. and neither of you moves away. it’s him who moves first. he leans in just a little, his hand still loosely holding yours, his other resting beside him as his eyes search yours one last time, quiet, asking without words. you don’t pull back, so he closes the distance.
the kiss is soft at first, barely there. just the gentle press of his lips against yours, hesitant for half a second like he’s still figuring it out, like he’s still not fully believing he’s allowed to do this. but then you lean in, and that’s all it takes. something in him melts. his hand tightens around yours without thinking, his breath catching softly as the kiss deepens-not rushed, not messy, just… more certain. warmer. like he’s settling into it, like he’s finally letting himself feel it instead of overthinking every second.
your lips move slowly against his, unhurried, soft but intentional, the kind of kiss that lingers, that builds quietly instead of all at once. your free hand shifts, resting lightly against his shoulder. then sliding up, fingers brushing into his hair. a quiet, breathy sound slipping from him, almost like a small whine he didn’t mean to let out, his grip tightening again as he pulls you just a little closer without even realizing it. “h-hey-” he murmurs against your lips, but it doesn’t sound like he wants you to stop. not at all, if anything, he leans in again; like he needs it, like he’s chasing it now.
you shift slightly, moving without breaking the kiss, your knees pressing into the mattress as you turn toward him more fully- and then you’re closer, closer than before. your hand sliding down from his shoulder as you move, your body shifting until you’re settling onto his lap, the movement slow, natural, like it just happens without needing to be thought through. his breath catches again, sharper this time, his hands instinctively finding your waist like he needs something to hold onto, his fingers pressing lightly against you as his mind tries, and fails, to keep up.
“…w-wai-—” he stutters softly, but there’s no real resistance in it, no pull away, just the sound of someone overwhelmed in the best way possible. your lips meet his again, softer this time but deeper, your movements slower, more certain, your fingers still tangled lightly in his hair as you lean into him. the tension he always carries around you- gone, replaced with something warmer, something softer, something that makes his hands tighten slightly at your waist as he leans into the kiss instead of away from it.
his lips move against yours a little more confidently now, still gentle, still careful, but no longer hesitant. and when you finally pull back, your faces are still close. your breath mixing. his lips part just a little as he looks at you, completely flushed now, cheeks pink, eyes softer than you’ve ever seen them, like he’s still trying to process what just happened. “…you’re-” he starts, then stops, clearly losing his train of thought. his hands are still on you; not moving, not letting go. “…you’re really distracting,” he finishes quietly. and this time- he doesn’t even try to hide it. “you know that?” he buries his face in the warm curve of your neck. his breath was slow and warm against your skin as he pressed lazy kisses there. one behind your ear, another trailing down your jaw. his hands, which had been resting on your waist, gripped your thighs and pulled you even closer, like he didn’t want a single inch of space between you.
you tilted your head, giving him more room, and a shiver ran down your spine when his lips found that little spot right behind your ear. his hands started to explore, slowly sliding up your back, pulling you into an embrace that was pure want. when he lifted his head, his dark eyes were half-lidded, focused on your mouth. you didn’t wait. you leaned in and kissed him. slowly at first. without thinking, your hips started to move. a slow, circular motion, a gentle grind in his lap. you felt his body tense beneath his sweats, and a muffled groan escaped peter’s throat, swallowed by your mouth.
he matched your rhythm, lifting his hips to meet yours, creating a delicious friction that made you bite down on his lip a little harder. his sweatpants did nothing to hide how hard he was, and the feeling of him pressing against you, even through the fabric, was almost unbearably good. sunghoon’s hands slid up your ribs slowly, then moved to the front. he cupped your breasts, his fingers finding your nipples through the thin fabric of your top. he squeezed, and a gasp escaped your lips.
the room felt hotter. both of you were breathing heavy, more ragged. you could feel your own heart racing as the pace quickened. suddenly, he stopped. the kiss just ended. he pulled his face back, panting, his chest rising and falling. his hands, which had been on your breasts, moved quickly to cover his own face. there was something strange in his expression, almost like he was embarrassed. “what is it?”
“i’ve never- i” his voice breaks off, quiet and uneven, like the words get stuck somewhere between his chest and his throat. for a second, he can’t even look at you. his hands slide down from his face slowly, but his gaze stays lowered, fixed somewhere near your shoulder instead of your eyes, his breathing still not fully steady. there’s a faint shake in the way he exhales, like he’s trying to calm himself down but isn’t quite succeeding. “…not like that,” he finishes finally, softer this time, almost under his breath.
he swallows, his jaw tightening slightly before he forces himself to look at you again- and when he does, there’s something new in his expression. not just flustered. not just shy, vulnerable. “i just—” he starts again, slower this time, like he’s choosing every word carefully. “i don’t… usually… lose control like that.” his fingers curl slightly against his lap, like he’s still grounding himself, still trying to come back to where he feels safe. “…especially not with someone i-”
he stops, the sentence hangs there. unfinished, but it doesn’t need to be, he exhales quietly, shaking his head just a little, like he’s frustrated with himself for not being able to say it properly. “…i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he adds instead, his voice softer now, more careful. “or rush anything.”
his eyes finally meet yours properly again. and he doesn’t look away this time. “i just… really like being around you,” he says, quieter than before, but steadier now. “and i didn’t want to mess that up.” his hand shifts slightly on the bed, closer to yours without fully touching it yet, like he’s still unsure where he stands, like he’s waiting without making it obvious.
“…teach me?” he adds, his voice low, careful, like he’s not even sure if he should be asking, but still does anyway. it’s not long after your clothes are scattered all over the room. things got heated pretty quickly, and before you could even blink, he’s sitting in between your legs watching your hand as you show him-two fingers slipping into yourself, curling gently. he watches your face as your mouth drops open. “like that?” he asks, already positioning his hand.
you gasp out a noise that shocks even you. “fuck- hoon”
he freezes. “too much?” you shake your head fast. “no-just-holy shit. your fingers are longer than mine.” he blinks, flushed. “is that… good?” you laugh breathlessly. “yeah. that’s good. that’s..really good.” he swallows and starts to move, slow and cautious. he watches your face like it’s a roadmap. you whimper when he curls them slightly—hitting a spot deep inside that makes your thighs jerk.
“there?” he asks, eyes wide. you nod frantically. “yes-right there-don’t stop-” the sounds are obscene now-slick, wet, constant. it echoes softly in the room, mixed with your sharp breathing and his shaky ones. his thumb brushes over your clit, lightly at first, but you buck into it. “oh my god,” he murmurs, stunned. “you’re dripping. i didn’t even know it could be like this.”
you’re flushed to your chest, gasping. “it’s ‘cause of you,” you whisper. “you’re doing everything right.” sunghoon presses in again, fingers curling deep, and you swear loudly. “you like that?” he asks, so shy and hopeful. you moan, clutching the sheets. “yes-yes—hoon, please-”
he obeys. he’s so careful, but so focused, curling with that perfect angle while rubbing tight circles with his thumb. your body can’t even handle it-you feel the heat coil impossibly tight, sharper than normal, wetter than normal. “hoon-”
“what? tell me, please, baby—”
“i—fuck—i think i’m gonna—” he groans. “please. i wanna see it, i wanna feel it.” that’s the last straw. your thighs clamp around his wrist, hips jerking wildly. your vision goes white as everything inside you snaps, the orgasm crashing through you so hard it rips a choked scream from your throat. but it doesn’t stop there.
there’s a sudden, humiliating gush—liquid squirting out around his fingers, soaking both of you, dripping onto the sheets. sunghoon groans, startled, but doesn’t pull away. he keeps his fingers moving a little, watching in total awe as you squirt all over his hand.
“holy fuck,” he breathes. you’re gasping, half sobbing, face burning hot. “oh my god,” you whimper. “i—shit—i don’t usually—” he’s staring at his soaked fingers. “you just… came everywhere,” he says reverently. you cover your face with one hand. “hoon- shut up—”
he’s grinning like an idiot, flushed and amazed. “i didn’t know girls could do that. that was—fuck. that was the hottest thing i’ve ever seen.” you’re still twitching, thighs shaking. he finally eases his fingers out carefully, sticky and shining, and holds them up. “look at this,” he whispers, awestruck. you peek through your fingers, your face gets even redder. he catches your eye, suddenly shy. “…was that okay?” you let out a choked laugh. “okay? hoon, you made me squirt. that was more than okay.” his chest heaves. “so… i did good?”
“you did fucking perfect.” you drag him down for a kiss, slow and languid, letting him feel how wrecked you still are. his lips are so eager, even clumsy, but you love it. when you finally pull back, he’s panting, eyes dark. your gaze drifts lower, and you see the obvious, painful bulge straining his sweatpants. you bite your lip, heat rushing through you all over again. “hoon.”
you raise an eyebrow, pointedly glancing at his lap.
he looks down—then makes a strangled noise and covers himself with a hand. “fuck i-sorry-i can’t help it—” you catch his wrist, pulling his hand away. “don’t be sorry.” he gulps. “it’s just, i mean-watching you-feeling you, fuck, it was too much-”
you hum, dragging your fingers over his waistband. “looks like someone deserves a reward.” he stares at you, speechless. you smile sweetly. “want me to help you out?” “i’ve never..” sunghoon took a long deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. you are on your knees in front of him with your hands on his thighs and he’s sweating. “i’ve never did any of this.” he admits, covering his face with his hands. yeah, he was really embarrassed about his situation.
“oh really? never?” you look up at him, your hands still trailing slow circles around his thighs. he tenses up almost immediately. “shh… i can make you feel good, ‘kay?” his breath hitches as he feels your gentle touch on his thighs. he peeks at you through his fingers, his cheeks flushed a deep red. he's never been in this position before, and the uncertainty is making his heart race. “i- i don't know if i can...”
you smile as a sign of comfort. “oh i know you can, baby.” sunghoon bites his lower lip, his eyes darting between yours and your slow, soothing touches on his thighs. he's trying to relax, but his body is tense and ready to flee at any moment. he's never been touched like this before, and it's both terrifying and exciting. “just lay back for me and relax.” he hesitates for a moment, a mix of nervousness and curiosity clear in his eyes. slowly, he begins to lower himself back onto the bed, his movements careful and deliberate. his heart is pounding in his chest as he lies down, propping himself up on his elbows to watch your moves. “good boy,” you look up at him for a second before taking off his shorts.
a small gasp escapes his lips at your praise, his cheeks coloring even deeper with embarrassment and pleasure. he's fully laid back now, completely vulnerable, but trusting you. another sharp inhale leaves his mouth as his shorts are pulled down, revealing his bare thighs and the hem of his boxers. he spreads his thighs slightly, allowing you to remove his shorts completely.
“just relax,” you repeat. sunghoon takes a deep breath, trying to focus on your calming voice and the gentle touches of your hands on his skin. he closes his eyes, his brows furrowed in concentration as he attempts to relax his tense muscles. you slide down his underwear, gasping at how big he is. “fuck..”
his body jolts as his underwear is removed, exposing him completely. his eyes fly open, and a small, embarrassed whimper escapes his lips. he's completely bare and exposed in front of someone for the first time. you gently start to stroke him, making sure he isn’t uncomfortable. as your gentle touch lands on his most intimate area, he tenses. It’s overwhelming. he looks down his body, watching as you stroke him softly, his mind reeling and his body trembling.
then suddenly, he cums hard, making his eyes widen in shock as his body suddenly erupts in a climax. his small frame shakes as he cums all over his stomach and chest. he lets out a high-pitched, embarrassed scream, his face flushing bright red as he's overcome with the intensity of his first orgasm. “shitt baby…” you curse, letting out a small chuckle at how fast he came.his body continues to tremble as he comes down from his high, embarrassment washing over him in waves. he covers his face with his hands, mumbling through his fingers “i- I’m sorry... that was so fast..."
“no- no not at all, it was good for your first handjob, don’t worry about it.” you smile. relief washes over him, realizing you weren't disappointed by how quickly he finished. he bites his lower lip, glancing down at the mess on his stomach before shyly meeting your eyes again. the room settles into something softer again. not tense, not overwhelming, just warm, a little quiet, the kind of calm that comes after everything slows down and neither of you feels the need to rush away from it.
sunghoon shifts first, he’s still moving carefully around you, still aware of you in every little way. his hand brushes lightly against your arm before he sits up slightly, glancing at you with that same soft expression he’s been carrying, a little flushed but not embarrassed, just… tender. “hey,” he murmurs quietly. you look at him, a small hum leaving you. “hm?”
“hold on,” he says softly. there’s something about the way he says it; calm, reassuring, that makes you not even question it. you just watch him as he moves around your room a little, grabbing what he needs, his movements a little more focused now, like he has something to do. when he comes back, he’s gentle, careful. the way his hands move, light, slow, attentive, it doesn’t feel awkward or rushed. it feels… thoughtful- like he’s taking care of you in a way that comes naturally to him, even if it’s new territory. “…you’re really sweet, you know that?” you murmur quietly.
he pauses for a second, glancing up at you, his ears tinting just slightly pink—but this time, he doesn’t hide it. “…i’m just helping,” he says softly. “yeah,” you smile faintly. “still counts.” he huffs a quiet breath at that, shaking his head a little, but there’s a small smile there anyway. you both shift back onto the bed, the space feeling calmer now, softer than before. you lay down first, pulling the blanket up slightly, and sunghoon follows without hesitation this time, moving beside you like he belongs there.
he doesn’t keep distance, he turns slightly toward you, his arm slipping around you naturally, like it’s already become something familiar, something he doesn’t need to think about anymore. you move closer without even realizing it, your head resting against his chest, your hand sliding there too, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under your palm. your leg drapes over his, and he adjusts slightly, just enough to make it easier for you. his hand rests against your side, thumb brushing lightly back and forth in slow, absentminded movements that feel almost grounding. neither of you speaks right away. you just… breathe. together.
“jake texted me earlier,” you murmur. he hums quietly in response, his fingers still moving gently against your side. “yeah?” “he said there’s another party this weekend,” you continue, your tone light, a hint of amusement slipping in. “asked if we’re going.” there’s a small pause. you lift your head just slightly, glancing up at him. “you wanna go?”
sunghoon doesn’t answer immediately. not because he’s unsure, but because he’s thinking. then he exhales softly, his hand stilling for a second before resuming that slow, gentle movement against you. “…yeah,” he murmurs. “we can go.” you smile instantly, the corner of your lips lifting as you shift slightly against him again. “yeah?” you tease lightly. “you sure about that?” he glances down at you, brows pulling together just a little in mock confusion. “…why wouldn’t I be?” you tilt your head, smiling. “because you’re gonna stand there with that stupid wa-” a soft laugh escapes him, low and quiet, his chest moving slightly under your cheek.
“hey, stop that…it’s not stupid,” he mutters. “it is,” you grin. “you hold it like it’s your emotional support water.” he huffs at that, shaking his head a little. “…at least i’m hydrated.” you laugh softly, settling back against him. “you’re ridiculous.”
“…you like it,” he replies, just as quietly. “…yeah,” you murmur.
the music playing softly from your phone fills the room, something light and upbeat, barely loud enough to distract, but enough to make the moment feel a little more alive. you stand in front of your mirror, adjusting your outfit for what feels like the hundredth time, smoothing your hands over the fabric, tilting your head slightly as you check how everything falls.
behind you, sunghoon is sitting on your bed. he’s quiet, but not really. because you can feel it. his eyes, on you. you don’t even have to turn around to know he hasn’t looked away since he got there. you reach for your lip gloss, applying it slowly, deliberately, catching his reflection in the mirror for just a second, and yep, still staring.
“…what’s got you so focused, hm?” you ask, glancing at him through the mirror, your tone light but teasing.
he blinks, like he got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. “…what?” he says, a little too quickly. you turn slightly now, leaning your hip against the desk as you look at him properly, raising a brow. “you’ve been staring at me for like five minutes.”
his ears turn pink almost instantly. “i haven’t-” he starts, then stops, realizing he definitely has. he exhales quietly, running a hand through his hair, clearly trying to play it off but failing just a little. “…okay, maybe a little,” he admits, softer now. “creep,” you tease lightly.
he scoffs under his breath, but there’s no real defense in it. “…you’re just taking forever,” he mutters. “oh, so now it’s my fault?” you laugh softly, turning back to the mirror. “didn’t say that.”
“i didn’t-” yYou cut him off with a small shake of your head, smiling to yourself as you reach for your perfume. “relax, hoon.” you spray it lightly, the soft vanilla scent filling the air almost instantly, warm and familiar, settling against your skin. and before you can even set the bottle down, his presence behind you. his arms slide around your waist slowly, naturally, like he’s gotten used to this kind of closeness, like he doesn’t hesitate anymore. your breath hitches just slightly as he leans in, his face dipping closer to your neck, his voice low, softer than before, but more confident now. “…you smell so good,” he murmurs, the words brushing against your skin, warm, quiet. you giggle softly, your hands coming up to rest over his arms where they’re wrapped around you.
“thank you,” you murmur, tilting your head just slightly toward him. you turn your head just enough to glance at him over your shoulder, smiling. “we can go now,” you say softly. “I’m ready.” he nods, but he doesn’t let go immediately, just holds you there for a second longer, before finally pulling back, a small smile still on his lips. “…okay,” he says. and even though it’s just a party, it already feels like the best part was before it even started.
the music hits harder the moment you both step fully inside, the bass vibrating through the floor and up into your chest, blending with laughter, voices, and the constant movement of people brushing past one another. the air is warmer here, heavier, filled with that familiar mix of cheap alcohol and something sweet lingering in the background.
sunghoon’s hand settles instinctively against your lower back as you walk in, not hesitant anymore, just natural. his touch is light, but steady, guiding you through the crowd without needing to say anything, his fingers adjusting slightly every time someone passes too close, like he’s making sure you don’t get lost in the chaos of it all. you don’t even think about it, leaning into the contact just a little, your body syncing with his pace as you move further inside.
“yo-there you are,” jake’s voice cuts through the noise, easy and familiar. he’s already grinning when he reaches you, a red cup in his hand, his eyes flicking between you and sunghoon in a way that’s quick, but not unnoticeable. he takes in the small details; the closeness, the way sunghoon’s hand is still resting against you, the way you don’t pull away.
for a second, it looks like he might say something. but he doesn’t. instead, he just lets out a short laugh, shaking his head like he’s already clocked everything and decided to leave it alone, for now. “you guys took forever,” he says, nudging sunghoon lightly. “some of us have standards,” you shoot back without missing a beat. “some of us don’t need a full production to get ready,” he grins.
“watch it,” you point at him, but you’re smiling. jake just laughs again, lifting his cup slightly before nodding toward the side. “heeseung’s over there, by the speakers, go save him from talking to people he doesn’t like.” you glance over, spotting heeseung almost immediately, then look back at sunghoon, your hand brushing lightly over his arm before you step away. “i’ll be right there,” you say, your voice softer now. he nods easily this time, no hesitation. “…yeah, go,” he says, his hand slipping from your back as you move.
you fall into conversation with heeseung almost instantly, laughter coming easily, the two of you talking over the music, leaning in slightly just to hear each other properly. it feels familiar, comfortable, like slipping back into something you’ve known for a long time. but even then, you’re aware. of him. you don’t look right away, but you feel it; that quiet presence nearby, not hovering, not awkward, just… there. and sure enough, when you glance to the side- sunghoon is already making his way back.
he’s not stiff, not standing off to the side with that same unsure posture he had before. He moves more easily through the crowd, shoulders relaxed, one hand holding two drinks without overthinking it. he steps up beside you, close enough that your arm brushes his as he hands one to you. you glance at it, then at him. a slow smile spreads across your face.
“no water?” you tease, raising a brow. he huffs softly, but there’s a small smile there, easy, unbothered. “…got a beer this time,” he says, lifting it slightly like proof. you blink, exaggerated. “oh, wow. big night.” heeseung snorts beside you. sunghoon just shakes his head, more amused than flustered now. “it’s just one,” he says. “mmhm,” you hum, taking a sip. “progress.” he leans slightly closer, just enough so you can hear him over the music. “…don’t make it a thing.”
“too late.” he rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling.
time moves without you noticing. the music shifts, the crowd grows, conversations blur into each other, and at some point, the drink in your hand is half-empty and the warmth settles into your chest in that light, easy way.
you turn toward him again, your movements a little looser now, a small smile already playing on your lips. “hoon,” you say, leaning closer so he can hear you. he looks at you immediately, like he’s been half-waiting for it. “hm?” you tilt your head slightly. “dance with me.” there’s a brief pause, but it’s different this time. he doesn’t freeze, doesn’t overthink it. he just exhales softly, then nods. “…yeah, okay.” you take his hand without hesitation, fingers slipping into his as you start leading him toward the dance floor, weaving through the crowd with a small, determined smile on your lips.
people are everywhere, shoulders bumping into yours, bodies shifting unpredictably, someone laughing too loudly right next to you as you try to squeeze past. at one point, you have to pull him a little closer just to get through a tighter space, your hand tightening around his as you guide him behind you. “sorry-” you mutter once or twice, though you’re already moving again before anyone really responds. sunghoon doesn’t resist. if anything, he stays close, letting you lead him through it all, his hand steady in yours, his other instinctively hovering near your back whenever someone gets too close, like he’s making sure you don’t get pushed around in the chaos.
where the music is louder, the bass heavier, and everything feels just a little more alive. the center of the room is louder, the bass heavier, the music pulsing stronger as you pull him with you, your fingers brushing his before catching his hand fully.
at first, his movements are a little off, like he’s still figuring it out, but he’s not stiff anymore. there’s no tension in his shoulders, no awkward hesitation holding him back. he just needs a second. you step closer, your hands finding his arms lightly, guiding him just enough. “relax,” you say, smiling. “i am relaxed,” he replies, but there’s a small laugh in it now. you raise a brow. he exhales, shaking his head slightly. “…okay, i’m getting there.”
“that’s better.” and slowly, he does. his movements loosen, his posture softens, and instead of focusing on everything around him, he focuses on you, on your rhythm, on the way you move. at some point, he laughs, quiet, but real, and it catches you off guard enough to make you smile wider. because he’s enjoying it. actually enjoying it.
when the song ends, you’re both a little breathless, your hand still loosely brushing his as you step back slightly. then you spot them, your friends. “oh—wait,” you say, glancing back at him. “that’s layla and alex, i haven’t seen them in forever.” he follows your gaze, then looks back at you, nodding easily. “…go,” he says, no hesitation. you hesitate just for a second, then lean in, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, your lips warm against his skin for just a brief moment. “don’t disappear,” you murmur. he lets out a quiet breath, a small smile forming almost immediately. “…i won’t.”
you pull back, already turning, weaving through the crowd toward your friends. sunghoon stays where he is for a moment, watching you go, not in a distant way, not disconnected, just… present. his fingers lift slightly, brushing over the spot where you kissed him, more out of habit than anything else. then he exhales softly, shaking his head a little to himself, a faint smile still there. “…okay,” he murmurs. he takes another sip of his beer, the taste unfamiliar but not unpleasant, then makes his way over to the couch, sitting down comfortably this time, one arm resting along the back as he leans into it slightly.
he doesn’t realize how long he’s been looking at you, it’s not obvious, not in a way anyone else would notice. he’s leaned back against the couch, one arm resting loosely along the backrest, the other holding his drink, his posture relaxed in a way that would’ve felt impossible for him just a few days ago. but his eyes keep finding you. across the room, you’re laughing; head tilted back slightly, hand brushing your hair away from your face as one of your friends says something, your whole expression lit up in a way that makes something in his chest settle warm and easy. every now and then, you glance back, just for a second, and when your eyes meet his, you smile.
“yo.” the voice comes from his side, slightly slurred, too loud compared to everything else around him, sunghoon glances over. jake drops onto the couch beside him, not gracefully at all, one arm slinging over the back as he exhales loudly, clearly a few drinks past where he should be.
“…you’re just sitting here?” jake says, squinting slightly at him. sunghoon huffs a quiet breath, a faint smile still lingering as he looks back toward you for a second before answering. “needed a break,” he says simply. jake follows his gaze, and sees you. “yeah,” he drags out, nudging sunghoon’s shoulder with his own. “i can see that.”
sunghoon rolls his eyes lightly, taking a small sip of his drink. “…what’s that supposed to mean?” jake snorts, leaning his head back. “you’ve been staring at her for like-” he gestures vaguely, “-i don’t even know how long.”
sunghoon’s eyes flick back toward you for half a second. “…i wasn’t staring,” he says, but there’s no real defense in it, just something light, easy. jake turns his head slowly, squinting at him like he doesn’t believe that for a second. “right,” he says, dragging the word out, amused. “you just happen to be looking in the exact same direction she’s standing in.”
sunghoon rolls his eyes, but there’s a faint smile there anyway, his shoulders relaxed, posture loose in a way that would’ve been impossible for him here not that long ago. “…shut up,” he mutters. jake laughs, nudging him lightly. “nah, it’s cute,” he says, grinning. “you guys are like-always together now.” sunghoon exhales through his nose, but he doesn’t deny it, doesn’t even try. “…we hang out,” he says simply.
“you always hang out,” he corrects, leaning forward slightly now, pointing between him and you across the room. “you walked in together, you left together last time, you’re basically attached.” sunghoon glances back at you again, this time a little longer. “…so?” he says, quieter now, but still calm. jake shrugs. “nothing,” he says easily. “just saying.”
there’s a pause. then he leans back again, a small, almost careless laugh slipping out. “but you’re not like- taking it serious, right?”
the question lands weird; not heavy, not yet. just… off. sunghoon’s brows pull together slightly, his head turning toward jake. “…what?” jake waves a hand vaguely, like it’s nothing. “i mean,” he says, laughing under his breath, “after what she said, i don’t think it is.” that makes something in sunghoon’s chest shift. “…what do you mean?” he asks, slower now.
jake blinks at him, like the question surprises him, then laughs again, a little louder this time, shaking his head. “wait- you don’t know?”sunghoon doesn’t answer. he just looks at him, waiting. and something about that- something about the way he doesn’t laugh it off, doesn’t brush it away like before, makes jake hesitate.
“…i mean,” he starts again, his tone a little less sure now, but still loose, still careless, “she said it wasn’t serious. that you’re just-” he pauses, like he’s trying to remember. or maybe like he’s deciding how to say it, but he says it anyway. “…just fun to play with.” sunghoon doesn’t move, at all. jake keeps going,, because he doesn’t notice it yet, doesn’t see the way something just shifted completely beside him.
“like- you know,” he adds, shrugging, “not in a bad way, just… like she doesn’t really take it that serious. said you’re easy to mess with, easy to get a reaction out of.”he lets out a small laugh, like it’s just another joke. “just something to pass time with or whatever.”
the music is still loud, the bass pulsing through the room as the party carries on around him. people are still talking, laughing, moving without noticing anything different. across the room, you’re still there, smiling, exactly the same as before. but for sunghoon, everything goes quiet, not literally. but it feels like it.
his grip on the beer tightens just slightly, the condensation slipping against his fingers, cold and distant compared to the warmth that was there just seconds ago. his gaze doesn’t move right away, like his brain is trying to catch up to something it doesn’t want to process. “…what?” he says finally.
“what the fuck are you talking about, jake,” he says, his voice low, controlled, but there’s something under it now, something tighter. jake snorts, leaning back into the couch like this is just another dumb conversation. “bro, relax,” he laughs, waving a hand lazily. “i’m just saying what she said.” sunghoon finally turns his head slightly toward him, not fully, just enough.
he just shrugs again, taking a careless sip from his drink. “yeah, I don’t know, man,” he mutters, slurring just slightly. “it’s not that deep, broski.” the music doesn’t stop. the bass is still heavy, vibrating through the floor and up through his chest, people still moving around him, laughing too loud, talking over each other like nothing has changed, like nothing shifted in the last few seconds. someone brushes past him, another voice rises somewhere behind him, glasses clink, a burst of laughter cuts through the noise, but for sunghoon, it all feels..wrong now. distant, Like he’s sitting in the middle of it, but not really there anymore, like everything’s happening just a little too far away.
the words don’t leave. they don’t get swallowed by the music or drowned out by the noise. repeating, again and again, like his mind latched onto them and refuses to let go.
she’s just playing with you.
his grip tightens around the beer without him even realizing it, his fingers curling slightly as the cold condensation slips against his skin, the chill grounding in the worst way possible, because everything inside him feels too warm, too tight, too unsettled. his jaw clenches faintly, his gaze drifting back toward you before he can stop it. across the room, you’re still there. still laughing, head tilted back slightly, your hand brushing your friend’s arm as you react to something they said, your smile wide, easy, effortless in a way that just seconds ago felt comforting.
now, it feels different. or maybe he’s the one who’s different.
something in his chest pulls tight, like something is pressing down on it from the inside.
he’s just fun to play with.
his breathing shifts, subtle at first, then uneven, like his body is trying to keep up with something his mind already spiraled into. his thoughts start moving too fast, overlapping, stacking on top of each other until he can’t separate one from the next.
just something to pass time with.
his fingers loosen slightly around the cup, like he forgot he was holding it in the first place, like his body is lagging behind his thoughts. “…right,” he mutters under his breath, but it doesn’t sound like agreement. It doesn’t even sound like confusion anymore. his gaze stays on you for a second longer than it should. watching the way you move, the way you smile, the way you look so completely unaffected; like nothing between you carries weight. like it never did. and something in his chest twists tighter.
his stomach drops slightly, that slow, sinking feeling settling in deeper with every second. he leans forward, placing the beer down on the table in front of him, his movements controlled, almost too careful, like he’s trying not to draw attention, trying not to let anything show.
it didn’t mean the same thing to her.
“…yeah,” he breathes out quietly, shaking his head just slightly, like that’ll clear it, like that’ll stop the thoughts from repeating. then, he stands. but he does it slowly, steadily. like if he moves too fast, something worse might happen, like everything he’s holding in might spill out in a way he can’t control.
his hands fall to his sides, fingers flexing slightly, his posture still composed, but only just. and then he turns, and walks. before he says something. before he does something. before he looks at you again and can’t pretend it doesn’t matter. and this time, he doesn’t look back.
the music is still loud when you make your way back, your body still carrying that light, warm buzz from earlier, your steps a little slower as you weave through the crowd again. you’re smiling to yourself, still half caught up in whatever your friends were saying, already looking toward the couch, toward him.
but when you get there, you stop. because it’s not him, it’s jake; slouched back into the couch, one arm thrown lazily over the back, his head tilted slightly like he’s barely holding himself upright, his drink hanging loosely from his hand. sunghoon’s not there. the spot where he was sitting is empty. your brows pull together slightly, the small smile on your lips fading just a little as you glance around quickly, scanning the nearby area like maybe he just stepped away for a second, but he’s not there.
“hey,” you say, stepping closer, your voice raised just enough over the music. he turns his head slowly toward you, blinking like it takes effort to focus, his expression loose, unfocused. “hm?” he hums. “where’s hoon?” you ask, your tone casual at first, but there’s something under it now, something more aware. jake squints at you like he’s trying to process the question. then he lets out a small, breathy laugh, shaking his head slightly. “dunno,” he mutters, his words slurring together just a little. “he was just-here…”
he gestures vaguely to the empty space beside him, like that explains anything. you frown slightly. “did he say where he was going?” you press, glancing around again, your chest tightening just a little. jake shrugs, sinking further into the couch. “nah,” he mumbles, barely coherent now. “he just—got up… said something… i don’t- ” his voice trails off, his attention already drifting somewhere else.
you stare at him for a second longer, trying to piece together something useful from whatever he just said, but there’s nothing. nothing that makes sense. “…okay,” you murmur, more to yourself than to him. your fingers curl slightly around your phone as you step back, your eyes scanning the room one more time, just in case you missed him somehow. you didn’t, so you pull your phone out. unlock it. your thumb hovers over his name for just a second, your message is quick.
for a second, you just stare at the screen, your thumb hovering like you expect the three little dots to appear immediately, like he’s going to answer the way he usually does; quick, easy, like he’s already halfway through typing before you even finish your sentence.
but nothing happens. no typing, no read. just delivered.
you press your lips together slightly, your brows pulling in just a bit as you lift your head, glancing back up into the crowd again, scanning faces, movements, trying to catch even a glimpse of him somewhere between the shifting bodies and flashing lights. he’s not near the couch, not by the kitchen, not anywhere you can see. you take a few steps forward, weaving slightly through people again, your eyes moving more carefully this time, slower, more intentional, like maybe you just missed him before, like he’s standing somewhere just out of sight. but he isn’t.
you glance back down at your phone again. still nothing. the message sits there, unanswered. you hesitate for a second, your thumb hovering again before you type another one.
you hit send before you can overthink it. and this time, you don’t look up right away.
the music keeps playing, people still laughing around you, someone bumping into your shoulder lightly as they pass, but you barely register it. your focus stays on the screen, waiting. but still, delivered. you swallow slightly, your fingers tightening just a bit around your phone as you lift your gaze again, scanning the room one more time. he’s really not here.
the night air is colder than expected, brushing against his skin, grounding in a way the party wasn’t, but it doesn’t help. It doesn’t clear anything. If anything, it makes everything sharper. every thought, every word, every moment replaying in a loop he can’t seem to shut off.
she’s just playing with you.
his jaw tightens slightly as he exhales through his nose, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, his steps steady but automatic, like he’s not really thinking about where he’s going anymore. because he knows. he just… doesn’t want to think about why he feels like this. but he does anyway. your smile, that’s what sticks. not what jake said, not at first. it’s your smile; the way you looked across the room, eyes finding his like you always do, soft, familiar, like nothing had changed, like everything between you still meant something. and maybe that’s what makes it worse. because now, he doesn’t know if it did.
by the time he gets home, everything feels heavier, quieter. the door shuts behind him with a soft click, and for a second, he just stands there, unmoving, his hand still resting on the handle like he hasn’t fully stepped back into himself yet. his phone buzzes. once, then again. the sound cuts through the silence of his room, sharp, insistent, pulling his attention down to his pocket. he knows it’s you. he doesn’t need to check. still, he pulls it out, his thumb brushing over the screen just enough for it to light up.
you: where did you go?
you: are you okay?
your name sits there at the top. your messages right under it. they’re simple, concerned. so… you.
his eyes linger there for a second longer than they should, but then he locks the screen again. he just lets the phone drop onto the counter beside him, the faint sound of it hitting the surface echoing slightly in the quiet.
the shower runs hotter than usual; steam quickly filling the space, fogging up the glass, the mirror, everything around him until the room feels smaller, more closed in.
but even then, it doesn’t help. water runs down his face, his hair, his shoulders, but he’s not really paying attention to it. His hands rest flat against the cool tile for a second, his head tilting forward slightly as he exhales, slow and uneven. and his mind doesn’t stop. it keeps drifting back..to you
to the way you laughed earlier, nudging him lightly during studying, the way you leaned over his shoulder, pretending to focus but clearly not, your voice soft and teasing as you distracted him on purpose. to the late nights, messages that never really ended, conversations that stretched longer than they should’ve, turning into something else without either of you saying it out loud. to the photobooth. gosh that damn photobooth, the way your faces were too close, your smiles softer in the last picture, your foreheads touching like it just… happened, like it meant something. his breath stutters just slightly at the memory, his eyes closing for a brief second as the water keeps running, warm against his skin. he exhales sharply, dragging a hand down his face, the water mixing with the tension sitting too tight in his chest.
by the time he steps out, the bathroom is filled with steam, the mirror completely fogged over, the air warm and heavy around him. towel wrapped low around his waist, damp hair dripping slightly, water trailing down his neck and shoulders as he reaches for his phone again, almost without thinking. the screen lights up, your messages still there; unread, unopened, waiting. he stares at them for a long moment, longer than he should. his thumb hovers over the screen, like he’s about to open them. about to say something. anything. but instead, he taps into the chat.
he stares at it, but then deletes it, and types again.
did any of it mean anything to you?
his jaw tightens, delete.
he sends it, immediately. before he can change his mind, before he can think about it too much.
he drops the phone back onto the counter like it suddenly weighs too much, running a hand through his damp hair before turning away from it completely. he doesn’t look at the screen again, doesn’t wait for your reply. he just walks out of the bathroom, the quiet of his room settling around him as he moves to get dressed, his movements slower now, more absent, like his mind is still somewhere else.
the morning feels heavier than usual. not just because of the headache pulsing faintly behind your eyes, or the way your body still feels a little sluggish from the night before, but because something feels… off.
you notice it the moment you step onto campus. the air feels the same. people are walking past you, talking, laughing, rushing to their classes like they always do. nothing’s changed. but something’s missing, and you don’t need to think too hard to know what it is. your eyes drift automatically- down the usual paths, past the spots where you’d normally catch a glimpse of him, where he’d already be waiting or walking toward you without you even texting first, but he’s not there. you press your lips together slightly, adjusting your bag on your shoulder as you keep walking, telling yourself not to read into it too much. maybe he’s just late, maybe he didn’t sleep well, maybe- yeah its time to stop now.
by the time you sit down in the lecture hall, your head still faintly aching, you’re already scanning the room without even meaning to. the seat next to you stays empty. you set your things down slowly, your movements a little more distracted now, your eyes flicking toward the door every few seconds like you expect him to walk in at any moment, slightly out of breath, hair messy, giving you that small, apologetic look before sitting down beside you.
but minutes pass, students keep filing in, the professor starts setting things up. and he’s still not there. your fingers tap lightly against your phone where it rests on your desk. you hesitate for a second. and then pick it up.
you: seat next to me is free
you stare at the message for a second, then add-
you: just in case you’re running late
you hit send before you can overthink it, your phone stays in your hand.
read. that’s it, no reply.
your stomach dips just slightly, but you swallow it down quickly, locking your phone and setting it back on the desk like it didn’t matter, like you didn’t expect anything more.
the class ends, but the feeling doesn’t go away. if anything, it lingers. you don’t text him again right away. you don’t want to seem… clingy, or weird, or like you’re overthinking something that might not even be what you think it is.
by the time you get to the café, it’s quieter than usual. the familiar space wraps around you easily, the same table, the same spot where you always sit together, where your books are already spread out in front of you like they always are. like everything is normal. except, he’s not there. you glance at the door once. you check the time, he’s not late, not that late. but still, something in your chest tightens just a little.
you: are you coming?
you: i’m already here
you hit send, this time, the reply doesn’t take long. your phone buzzes almost immediately.
sunghoon: can’t make it today
no explanation, no “sorry”, no “next time.” just that.
you stare at the message for a second longer than you should, your brows pulling together slightly as your thumb hovers over the screen again.
you: oh
you: everything okay?
sunhgoon: yeah. just busy.
you sit there for a second, your phone still in your hand, your books open in front of you, the empty chair across from you suddenly feeling more noticeable than it ever has before. and for the first time, you don’t tell yourself it’s nothing. because it doesn’t feel like nothing anymore. you’re still standing there, your phone is still in your hand.
you read it again, and again. like maybe the words will change if you stare at them long enough, like maybe you missed something hidden between them, something softer, something more like him, but there’s nothing there. just the same flat tone, the same distance sitting in those three words like they don’t belong to the person you’ve been talking to for days, weeks, like they don’t belong to the person who used to text you like he actually wanted to.
your thumb hovers over the screen again, but you don’t type. because what are you even supposed to say to that? your fingers tighten slightly around your phone instead, your other hand pressing lightly against the edge of the table as you sit there, the empty chair across from you pulling your attention over and over again like it’s louder than anything else in the café.
he should be there, he’s always there. leaning back slightly, sleeves pushed up just enough, pen in his hand, looking at you over his notes like he already knows you’re not paying attention. you blink, and the image disappears. your chest tightens a little at that. you inhale slowly, trying to shake it off, trying to tell yourself it’s not that deep, that he said he’s busy, that people get busy, that it’s normal, that this, this doesn’t mean anything. but it doesn’t feel like nothing.
did you do something? did you say something wrong?
you don’t feel so sure anymore. and that uncertainty settles in your chest, heavy and slow, making it harder to just brush this off as nothing, making it harder to pretend that this distance isn’t real.
your room is quiet; not the comfortable kind of quiet you’re used to, not the one that comes with soft music playing in the background or the low hum of your own thoughts settling into something productive. this one feels… heavy, like everything just stopped without asking you first.
your books are open in front of you, pages filled with notes that should make sense by now, diagrams you’ve seen before, terms you know you went over with him, but none of it is sticking. you’ve been staring at the same section for longer than you want to admit. reading the same sentence again. and again, and again. and somehow, it feels even more confusing now than it did before. your pen rests loosely between your fingers, unmoving, your focus drifting not to the page, but somewhere else entirely. you exhale quietly, leaning back slightly against your headboard, your eyes closing for just a second as you press your fingers lightly against your temple, trying to ease the lingering headache that never really went away after last night. it’s not just the exhaustion, it’s everything else. because now that you think about it, he really did help you. a lot. more than you realized at the time.
the way he explained things slowly, patiently, like he didn’t mind repeating himself until it finally clicked for you, the way he’d notice when you were zoning out and gently pull you back without making you feel stupid for it. the way studying with him never actually felt like studying. your eyes open slowly, drifting back down to the mess of notes in front of you, your brows pulling together slightly as you try, really try, to focus this time. you read a line, pause and try to make sense of it, but your thoughts don’t stay there. they drift again. back to the café, back to his messages. yeah. just busy. your chest tightens slightly. “…right,” you murmur under your breath, though it doesn’t sound convincing.
because if he was just busy, why does it feel like this?
you let out a slow breath, setting your pen down beside your notebook, your shoulders sinking just a little as the weight of it all settles in again. your phone lies next to you on the bed. you glance at it without meaning to, like you’re expecting something, like you want something. even if you’re not sure what.
9:04 pm. yeah well, it feels later than that.
your fingers tap lightly against the mattress as you stare at nothing in particular, your thoughts circling the same questions again, the same confusion, the same quiet ache that hasn’t really left you all day.
was it something you said? something you did? did you-
your phone buzzes. the sound cuts through the silence so suddenly it makes you flinch slightly, your heart jumping in your chest as your eyes snap toward it. for a second, you just stare at the screen. then when you reach for it, and pick it up. you see the name at the top, and your breath catches.
your breath catches for a second when his name appears. it’s not even a long pause, just enough for your fingers to hesitate before unlocking your phone, like part of you is bracing for something you can’t quite predict. you open the message, and immediately, something feels off.
sunghoon: so it mean nothint hm?
your brows pulling together slightly as your eyes move over the sentence again, slower this time. the words feel… off. messy, like they weren’t thought through, just thrown out. your stomach dips, your fingers move before you can stop them.
you send it. and this time, the reply comes almost instantly.
sunghoon: you said it wanst serius ribht
sunghoon: jus fun haha
you stare at it, your lips parting slightly. another message comes in before you can even process the first.
sunghoon: get smthn out of me or wgatever
your chest tightens now, the confusion starting to twist into something sharper, something more uneasy as the pieces don’t fully fit, but they’re close enough to make your stomach turn. “…what are you talking about…” you whisper to yourself. your fingers move again, quicker this time.
you: sunghoon are you drunk?
you: is everything okay?
sunghoon: so mow its sunfhoon huh
another one, right after.
sunghoon: not hoon ansmore?
your grip tightens around your phone, your brows pulling together as your heart starts to beat a little faster, not from panic, not yet, but from something unfamiliar, something off in the way he’s talking. because this isn’t just messy. it feels…wrong.
your brows knit together more deeply now, confusion twisting into something heavier, something sharper as you stare at the message, trying to understand what he means, why that sounds like an accusation when it shouldn’t. because you’ve always called him that, haven’t you? your eyes stay on the screen, your grip tightening just slightly around your phone as you reread his messages, trying to make sense of them, but nothing is landing the way it should. the typing bubble doesn’t come back this time. there’s just a pause, a stretch of silence that feels heavier than it should.
your phone starts ringing. you flinch a little at the sudden sound, your heart jumping as his name flashes across the screen again. he’s calling you. you stare at it for a second, like you weren’t expecting this, like you don’t know if you should pick up or not, but you do anyway, bringing the phone up to your ear.
“…hello?” your voice comes out softer than you intended. there’s noise on the other end. not clear, nor steady. just movement, breathing, something shifting. and then his voice; lower, rougher. “…open the door.” you freeze, your brows pull together immediately, confusion washing over your face as you sit up a little straighter on your bed. “…what?” you say, almost instinctively. “the door,” he repeats, a little uneven, like the words don’t come out as clean as they should. “just- open it.”
your grip tightens slightly around the phone, your heart picking up just a little, confusion twisting with something sharper now. “sunghoon, what are you talking about?” you ask, your voice more alert now. “what door-” a sound cuts you off. a knock; soft at first. then again, louder this time. your head turns toward your room door immediately, your breath catching slightly as your chest tightens, your mind trying to catch up to what’s happening. no. there’s no way-
you stand up before you even fully process it, your feet moving on their own as your phone stays pressed to your ear, your pulse quickening with every step you take toward the door. “…sunghoon?” you say again, quieter now. but he doesn’t answer. you reach for the handle slowly, your fingers hesitating for just a second before you finally pull it open. and the moment the door swings wide everything stops, because sunghoon is standing there.
for a second, you don’t even process it fully, like your brain needs a moment to catch up to what you’re seeing, to match the voice from the phone to the person in front of you. his eyelids are heavy, barely open, his gaze unfocused in that way that immediately tells you he’s not fully there, his hair is a mess, falling into his face like he ran his hands through it one too many times, and there’s something else, something that makes your chest tighten. his eyes. they’re red, glossy. like he’s been crying. “sunghoon-” your voice softens instantly, concern washing over everything else as you take a small step forward. “what’s wrong? what happened?”
he doesn’t answer, not really. he just looks at you for a second, like he’s trying to focus, like he’s trying to see you properly, and then he moves. or tries to. he stumbles slightly as he steps inside, brushing past you without waiting, without saying anything, his shoulder barely grazing yours as he walks further into your room like he knows the space, like he’s been here enough times that he doesn’t need to think about it. “hey-careful,” you murmur, instinctively reaching out, but he’s already moving away from your touch, already heading toward the couch. he drops onto it heavily. you close the door slowly behind him, your hand lingering on the handle for a second before you turn back, your eyes immediately finding him again. he’s slouched forward slightly, elbows resting on his knees, his hands hanging loosely between them, his head tilted down just enough that his hair falls over his eyes again.
“hoon…” you say softly, stepping closer, your voice quieter now, more careful. “you’re drunk.” it comes out almost like a whisper, like saying it too loudly might make it worse. he lets out a small, uneven breath at that, a quiet sound. not quite a laugh, not quite anything. “…am I really that easy?” the words land wrong.
your brows pull together immediately, confusion flashing across your face as you take another step closer, your heart starting to beat a little faster now, not from panic, but from something else. something you don’t understand yet. “…what?” you ask softly.
he lifts his head slightly then, just enough for you to see his eyes again, they don’t look the same, there’s something in them—something heavier, something that doesn’t belong there. “like you said,” he adds, his voice quieter now, rough around the edges. “easy.” your chest tightens, because now, now it sounds familiar. “…sunghoon, what are you talking about?” you ask again, your voice more careful now, more cautious, like you’re trying not to say the wrong thing without even knowing what the wrong thing is.
he exhales again, shaking his head slightly, like he can’t believe you’re asking that, like it doesn’t make sense to him that you don’t already know. “you told jake,” he mutters, his words slipping over each other slightly, slower now. “that i’m just-” he stops, swallows. his jaw tightens. “…fun,” he finishes quietly. “not serious. just… something to mess with.”
the room feels smaller suddenly. your eyes close for a brief second, your head tilting down just slightly as the pieces fall into place all at once, heavy and sharp and unavoidable.
you inhale slowly. a quiet sigh slipping past your lips as you finally understand where this is coming from, why he’s been distant, why he’s been avoiding you, why everything suddenly changed without explanation. “…sunghoon,” you murmur softly. you hesitate for just a second, then step closer. you sit beside him, close enough to feel the warmth of him, but not close enough to fix anything, not yet. the silence stretches between you, heavy, fragile, like one wrong word could break it completely.
he exhales shakily, running a hand through his already messy hair before letting it fall back down, his fingers twitching slightly against his knee. For a second, it feels like he might just stay quiet, but he doesn’t. “then what was it, huh?” his voice comes out uneven, rougher now, a little sharper than before. not loud, but there’s something underneath it. something that’s been building. “all of it… what was that supposed to be?”
your chest tightens instantly. he lets out a small, bitter breath, shaking his head slightly like he’s trying to steady himself, but it’s not really working. “because i thought-” he cuts himself off, his jaw tightening, his gaze still fixed somewhere ahead of him instead of you. “i thought it meant something.” the words land heavier than anything else he’s said. not because they’re loud, but because they’re not, because they’re quiet, and real, and you can hear exactly how much they cost him to say.
“i thought you-” he swallows, his voice catching just slightly before he forces it out again, slower this time. “i thought we had something. like… something real. not just-” he huffs softly, frustrated, shaking his head again. “not just some joke.” your throat feels tight, you don’t know what to say, you don’t even know where to start. because hearing it like this, hearing it from him, like this- makes everything feel heavier than it did in your head, heavier than you expected it to feel.
and when he finally looks at you, it stops you completely. because there’s a tear. just one, quietly slipping down the side of his face, catching the light for a second before trailing lower, and it doesn’t match the way he’s trying to hold himself together, the way he’s trying to stay composed even now. something in your chest pulls tight, your breath catching as your own eyes sting almost instantly, your first instinct rising before you can think it through, to fix it, to tell him it’s okay. but you don’t even know how, because you don’t know what to say that would make this better.
“…hoon,” you whisper softly, your voice is barely there. your hands move before your thoughts catch up, lifting slowly, hesitating just for a second before you cup his face, your fingers warm against his skin, your thumbs brushing lightly under his eyes. you wipe the tear away carefully, like it’s something fragile, something you don’t want to make worse. he doesn’t pull away. if anything, he leans into it. like he didn’t realize how much he needed it until you did it. his eyes flutter for a second, his breath uneven as his hand shifts faintly against his knee, but he doesn’t stop you. your eyes stay on his, searching, softer now, more careful, more aware of every little shift in his expression. you inhale slowly. “…i’m sorry,” you whisper.
“i’m really sorry, hoon… i didn’t-” your voice catches slightly, your brows pulling together as you shake your head just a little. “i didn’t mean it like that. I swear I didn’t.” the words start coming easier after that, but not in a rushed way, just honest. “i didn’t think it would-” you stop, exhaling softly, your gaze dropping for just a second before coming back to him. “i didn’t think it would sound like that. or that it would get back to you like that.” your thumbs slow where they rest against his cheeks. “i wasn’t trying to make you look like that,” you add more quietly. “or… make you feel like that.”
he lets out a quiet breath, his eyes dropping away from yours again, his hand coming up to push lightly at your wrist, not enough to make you move, just enough to create a little space, like he needs it to think. “i trusted you,” he says. it’s not loud, but it lands heavier than anything else. “i told you things i don’t tell people,” he continues, his voice a little rougher now, a little more unsteady. “i let you-” he pauses, jaw tightening, like the words are harder to get out than he expected. “i don’t let people get that close.” your breath stills. because you can hear it now; not just the hurt, but the vulnerability behind it.
“and then i hear that i’m just…” he huffs softly, shaking his head, his gaze still not fully meeting yours. “something to play with? something easy?” his lips press together, his shoulders tensing slightly. “…it feels like you used it against me.” you feel it settle in your chest immediately, heavy and undeniable, your fingers faltering slightly against his face as your expression shifts, no longer just confused, no longer just apologetic. now you understand. not just what he heard, but what it did to him.
your hands lower slowly from his face, not pulling away completely, just resting lighter now, like you’re giving him the space he asked for without fully letting go. “…i know,” you say softly. and your voice is different now. “i know it sounded like that,” you continue, your eyes staying on him, not looking away this time. “and i know why you’d think that.”
“i shouldn’t have said it like that,” you admit quietly. “even if i didn’t mean it that way… i still said it. and it still hurt you.” your fingers curl slightly against your lap, your shoulders relaxing just a little as you let yourself sit in that truth instead of trying to escape it. “i wasn’t thinking about how it would sound,” you add, softer now. “or how it would make you feel if you heard it.”
“i didn’t mean you were nothing to me,” you say, your voice quieter, but steadier. “and i didn’t mean that this-” your gaze flickers between his eyes for a second, searching for the right words. “-was just a game.” you don’t rush the next part, you let it come naturally. “…because it’s not,” you finish softly. your eyes stay on his, even as they start to blur, even as your chest tightens and your throat feels too small to hold everything you need to say. your hands lift again, slower now, more certain, resting gently against his face like before, but softer this time, like you’re holding something you’re afraid to lose.
your breath trembles slightly. “…you’re enough, hoon,” you whisper. “i love you, park” the words come out quiet, barely above a breath. but they land between you like something real, something you can’t take back, something you don’t want to take back. “so much,” you add, your voice breaking just a little as your thumbs brush under his eyes again, catching the tears that keep slipping down his skin. “i didn’t realize how much until you weren’t there today, until everything felt… wrong without you.”
your own tears spill now, slow and warm, tracing down your cheeks as you shake your head slightly, your gaze never leaving his. “i missed you,” you continue softly, the words tumbling out now, honest, unfiltered. “i couldn’t focus, couldn’t think straight, everything just kept going back to you, your voice, the way you explain things, the way you look at me like i’m not completely lost even when i am-” a small, breathless laugh escapes you, shaky, emotional. “i like being with you,” you whisper, your fingers curling slightly against his skin. “i like how easy it feels, how safe it feels… you’re not something i play with, you’re not something temporary, you’re… you’re everything i didn’t expect to feel.” your voice softens even more, almost fragile now.
“i would never use you like that,” you murmur. “not you. not us.” you swallow, your breath uneven as your eyes search his again, trying to make sure he understands, trying to give him everything you couldn’t say before. more tears till slipping down his face, quiet and steady, even as he looks at you like he’s trying to process every word, like he doesn’t fully trust what he’s hearing yet. your thumbs move instinctively again, wiping them away.“…i’m drunk,” he whispers.
a small smile breaks through, even through the tears, your head tilting just slightly as you let out a quiet breath. “…yeah,” you whisper back gently. “i know.” he doesn’t move away, he leans closer. close enough that your breaths start to mix, slow and uneven, the space between you barely there anymore. his forehead almost brushes yours, just hovering there like he’s unsure whether to close that last inch or not, like he’s holding himself in place by sheer will alone.
his eyes don’t leave yours, they search, carefully, quietly, like he’s trying to find something solid in them, something he can trust, something he can hold onto after everything that’s been sitting heavy in his chest. “…don’t say that if you don’t mean it,” he murmurs, his voice low, slower than usual, each word deliberate despite the way they slightly blur together. there’s no anger left in it now, just something softer, fragile. “i won’t be able to pretend I didn’t hear it.”
your heart tightens immediately, not in a painful way, in a way that makes your chest feel too full all at once. your hands are still on his face, your thumbs resting lightly against his skin, and this time, you don’t hesitate. “i mean it,” you whisper back, your voice steadier now, even through the tears still clinging to your lashes. “i’ve never meant anything more.”
your fingers shift slightly, brushing gently along his jaw, grounding him, keeping him there with you. “i’m not taking it back tomorrow,” you add softly, your eyes flicking between his, making sure he sees it—all of it. “or the day after that. i’m not saying it because you’re here right now, I’m saying it because it’s been there and i just… didn’t realize it until i almost lost you.” his gaze doesn’t waver, but something in it changes, just a little. the tension eases, not completely, but enough for you to see it. enough for you to feel it.
your thumb brushes under his eye again, catching another tear before it can fall too far, your touch slower now, more intentional. “…you’re not easy,” you murmur. “you’re not something I’d ever play with. you’re the only person I’ve ever… felt like this with.” your voice softens even more. “and I don’t want to lose that.” you stay there- close, breathing the same air, everything else fading into the background like it doesn’t exist outside this moment.
and then, he leans in. slowly, giving you time, letting you pull away if you wants to, but you don’t, not even a little. your lips meet his softly, its a gentle, lingering kiss that feels more like a promise than anything else, your hand still resting against his cheek, your thumb brushing lightly against his skin as you stay close. and when you pull back just slightly, your forehead finally resting against his, you don’t move away.
a quiet breath leaves him as you stay close, your forehead still resting against his, your fingers lingering softly along his jaw like you’re afraid that if you let go, something fragile between you might slip again. for a moment, he just stays there, eyes half-lidded, breathing slower now, like the storm inside him finally settled just enough to let him feel everything else. a small, almost sheepish smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “…i’m never drinking again,” he whispers, voice low, a little hoarse, the words barely brushing against your skin with how close you still are. you huff out the faintest breath of a laugh, soft and warm, your nose almost brushing his as you tilt your head just slightly, your thumb still moving absentmindedly against his cheek.
“good,” you murmur gently. his smile lingers, but there’s something else behind it now, something quieter. more real. he shifts just enough to look at you properly again, his eyes searching yours the same way they were before, but softer this time. “…wish i could hear you say it while i’m sober,” he adds, voice quieter now, like it means more than he’s letting on, like it’s not just a joke. your hand slides slightly, fingers curling lightly at the back of his neck, keeping him close, not letting that distance come back. “you will,” you whisper. “i’ll say it again,” you add softly, your lips brushing just barely against his, not quite a kiss, just close enough to feel. “as many times as you need to hear it.”
the space between you stays small, almost nonexistent, your hand still wrapped around his like it found its place there and doesn’t want to let go. your thumb moves slowly against his skin, absentminded, grounding, like you’re not even thinking about it anymore, like your body just knows to keep him close. something in his expression softens again, quieter this time, less conflicted and more… certain. not reckless, just guided by feeling more than thought.
his hand shifts slightly, moving from where it rested near yours, sliding carefully along your arm, slow enough for you to notice, gentle enough that it doesn’t startle you. his touch is warm, steady, like he’s asking without saying anything out loud. he moves. guiding you back just a little at first, his other hand coming up instinctively to support you, to make sure you don’t lose balance as your back meets the couch. there’s nothing rushed in it, nothing forceful, just a quiet shift, like gravity pulling you both into something softer.
and then he’s there, hovering above you. he’s not pressing down, not overwhelming, just there, his weight held up by one arm beside you, the other still lingering lightly against you like he hasn’t decided whether to pull you closer or not. his face is near yours again. close enough that you can see the faint flush still on his cheeks, the way his lashes lower slightly as his gaze flickers between your eyes and your lips again, like he’s caught in that same quiet pull. your breathing is softer now, but not steady. because everything still feels a little too real, a little too new, like one wrong move might shift it again. “sunghoon…”
his name slips from your lips in a quiet, uneven exhale, softer than before, almost fragile, like you’re testing how it feels now, saying it like this, with everything that’s changed sitting between you. your eyes search his, slower now, more careful, like you’re trying to read him the same way he was reading you just moments ago. “…we shouldn’t.”
“why?" he breathes it against your skin, then shifts until he's half over you, bracing his weight carefully on his forearms so he can look down at your face. he needs to see you. “tell me why, because I can't think of a single reason right now. I can't think of anything but you." you're looking up at him and your expression is- god, you're going to destroy him. you're looking at him like you've been holding something back too, like maybe he isn't the only one who's been keeping distance on purpose.
“because," you say, and it's not an answer, and you both know it's not an answer. “you're still drunk.” he traces his mouth up your cheek, the curve of it, your temple, the center of your forehead. he has spent weeks keeping himself from this and he refuses to rush now that he's finally here. every kiss is a confession he doesn't know how to make with words. every brush of his lips says I notice you and I think about you and you're the only person who has ever made me feel small and safe at the same time.
“you're so beautiful," he murmurs against your skin, the words spilling out of him like a secret he can't keep anymore. “do you know that? do you have any idea what you do to me, just... existing?" his mouth reaches the corner of yours and he stops, waits. his heartbeat is embarrassingly loud in his own ears. and then you move first. you're the one who crosses the last impossible inch. you're the one who presses your lips into his, soft and certain, like you've decided something.
your lips are slow, consuming, devastatingly unhurried. like you've thought about how you'd do this and you are not going to let him rush you. he's been kissed before. not many times, but he has, and none of it felt like this, like being unmade. he matches your rhythm, your pace, letting the fire catch slow, slow and sizzling and inevitable, like something that was always going to happen, like something that should have happened months ago, like maybe the whole weeks has just been them circling this moment and finally, finally falling in. the kiss softens before it deepens again, slower this time, more intentional. your hand stays at the back of his neck, keeping him close, while his slides along your side, hesitant at first, but not unsure. just careful, always careful. but there’s something else there too, something new. something warmer, needier. you feel it in the way he doesn’t quite pull back when he should. in the way his breath catches a little heavier than before, his forehead resting briefly against yours like he’s trying to steady himself—but doesn’t move away.
“…we should-” he starts, but the words don’t finish. because he doesn’t want to stop, not really. you shift slightly beneath him, your fingers brushing down his arm, grounding both of you at the same time. and for a moment, you just look at him. “sunghoon…” you murmur softly. “are you sure?” you ask quietly, your hand still resting against him, steady. “you’re not just… feeling this because you were drinking, right?” he stills at that. for the first time since everything started to blur into feeling instead of logic, you can actually see it on his face again, that hesitation, that awareness.
“i want you to remember this,” you add softly. “all of it.” his gaze meets yours properly this time, clearer, more present than before. “…i’m not that drunk,” he murmurs, quieter now. “i know what I’m doing.” and then, softer “i know it’s you.”
you sit up slowly, your hand finding his again, guiding him with you as you stand. he follows without question this time, his fingers tightening slightly around yours, like he doesn’t want to lose contact even for a second. you lead him toward your bedroom, not pulling, just guiding, and he lets you. when you stop near the bed, you turn toward him again, your hands still lightly holding his, your eyes searching his one more time, just to be sure. he doesn’t look away, not anymore. and when you move closer again, it’s slower than before, because you both know exactly what you’re choosing.
soon enough, iyou’re kneeling between his legs, fingers wrapping around him slowly, teasing, brushing over the slick head and thick shaft as he leans back against the headboard. his chest rises and falls fast, lips parted, eyes dark and heavy-lidded, and the way he’s trembling makes your pulse race.
“ah…fuck…oh shit…” he whimpers, hands gripping the sheets, knuckles white, barely holding himself still. you lean closer, lips ghosting over the tip, flicking your tongue lightly, eliciting a guttural moan that vibrates through him. he jerks against your hand instinctively, hips bucking just slightly, eyes closing in bliss. “mm…” his voice is a low, ragged whine, barely words, just raw sounds of need and pleasure. you let out a soft mumble of satisfaction and wrap your lips around him slowly, taking him in, hand moving in perfect rhythm along his length, teasing him with a slow, steady stroke. he groans, head falling back against the pillow, fingers tangling in your hair. “f-fuck baby-“
you pull back just enough to swirl your tongue over the tip, suck gently, then push him back in your mouth, slow and sensual. every motion makes him whimper, a soft, broken sound, hips shifting against you, hands sliding down to your hair and face, holding you close, yet not stopping your movements. he’s gasping, whimpering, each sound more ragged and desperate than the last, unable to form coherent words, only letting pleasure escape in guttural, needy noises. your hand keeps time with your mouth, slowly jerking, teasing him, feeling him twitch and pulse against your fingers and lips. he moans again, deeper this time, a shaky groan of need, lips parted, chest rising and falling unevenly.
“mm….sweetheart..” he’s trembling now, hips jerking slightly with each careful stroke, his moans ragged, broken into soft whimpers. you watch him, savoring the way his body reacts, the way he’s lost in sensation, unable to speak, only letting every whimper, groan, and moan betray how good it feels. when you feel him start to falter, you slide yourself off the edge of the bed, letting him shift and flip you onto your stomach, body pressed into the mattress. his hands settle on your hips as he spreads your legs slightly, leaning down between them, head close to your core.
he’s quiet at first, just the faintest sigh escaping him as he buries his face in you, lips and tongue pressing, sucking, kissing, exploring. the only sounds are low groans and whimpers, each one vibrating through you. he’s completely lost, no words, just fully consumed by you, tongue gliding over your folds, sucking and teasing, lips and fingers working in tandem. he murmurs praises every once and a while, low and muffled against you, a small “such a pretty pussy, s-shit..” as his hand presses firmly into your hip, pulling you closer, letting you feel every inch of his attention. he moves slowly, savoring, head buried in you, groaning and whimpering softly, the only sounds the wet, sticky noises of his mouth devouring you, your own whimpers mingling with his. he shifts, curling a finger inside you while tongue teases your clit, soft moans vibrating through him, body trembling, utterly consumed.
“mmph! hoon—oh, oh my—“ you gasp out. he keeps the rhythm slow and deliberate, letting you writhe beneath him, fingers clutching the sheets, hips pressing back instinctively, matching the movements he guides you into. his groans are rough, urgent, lost in sensation, and every whimper from him sends shivers down your spine. you’re trembling too, entirely overwhelmed by the intimacy and intensity of him, the quiet focus, the way he’s completely lost in you, every lick, suck, finger curl calculated to drive you insane. the only sound to your pleasure is the wet, messy sounds of him eating you out, low, ragged moans, soft whimpers, the occasional shaky groan.
by the time you’re gasping, thighs trembling, body slick and flushed, he’s still buried in you, head buried, hands gripping your hips, groaning softly into the mattress, lost in your scent and taste, utterly consumed and speechless, letting every sound be a confession of how good it feels.
but little do you know, he wasn’t done here.
and that's how you found yourselves on your bed, his head resting against the headboard, mouth slightly open and eyes closed. his hands gripped your hips tightly, fingers digging into your skin, leaving the imprint of his touch as you moved above him. each bounce sent waves of pleasure through both of you, his cock filling and stretching you completely. his muffled moans and whimpers filled the room, blending with the sound of your bodies slamming together. his hips thrust upwards to meet your movements, matching your rhythm perfectly. “look at me,” you murmured through a soft moan, your hands clutching his shoulders for stability as you rode him, the sensation of his hard muscles grounding you. his eyes fluttered open, revealing deep blue pools clouded with pleasure and desire. they locked onto yours and roved over you, taking in every detail from the way your hair fell around your face, to the rise and fall of your tits, down to the point where your bodies were joined, your core enveloping him deliciously.
“so tight. fuck — yes, jus’ like that,” he stammered, his voice rough with need. his chest heaved with each ragged breath. “i’m so close,” sunghoon whispered, his voice breaking. his hands guided your hips with a firm grip. up and down, up and down. you felt your walls tightening around him, signaling that you were just as close to the peak as he was. you leaned forward, resting your head in the crook of his neck. the soft, breathy moans escaping your lips against his skin caused a shiver to run down his spine. the heat of your breath, the closeness of your bodies, the mingling of your scents — it all heightened the intimacy of the moment.
with a final, powerful thrust, you reached the pinnacle of pleasure. your hips slowed, following the rhythm of sunghoon’s release as he filled you up completely. waves of ecstasy washed over you both, your bodies trembling in unison. the room was filled with the sound of your breaths, heavy and satisfied. for a moment, you both stayed still in silence, your hearts beating in sync.
who knew park sunghoon was this good in bed, while being just a little drunk and completely undone.
the air feels different now. a year and a half from the moment you and sunghoon met, everything feels softer somehow- lighter, warmer, like the world settled into something that finally makes sense. the same music hums through the theme park, the same laughter echoes around you, the same bright lights flicker in every direction—but this time, it doesn’t feel overwhelming. it feels… familiar, comfortable. like coming back to something that already belongs to you.
your hand is in his, fingers intertwined so naturally it doesn’t even feel like a conscious choice anymore. his thumb moves slowly over your skin as you walk, absentminded, grounding, the same way it always has. and you’re laughing, again, about something that probably wasn’t even that funny to begin with, but with him, everything turns into something lighter.
“you’re literally lying,” he says, shaking his head, but there’s a smile tugging at his lips, that same soft one you’ve come to know so well. “i’m not,” you insist, even though you’re already laughing again, your fingers tightening around his hand as you try to walk straight and fail miserably. “you are,” he shoots back, quieter now, leaning a little closer just so you can hear him over the noise. “you always do this.” “do what?”
“this-” he gestures vaguely between you, his expression amused, fond. “make things up and then pretend you didn’t.” you gasp lightly, feigning offense, but the smile never leaves your face. “okay, first of all, rude.” he huffs out a soft laugh, shaking his head again, his thumb brushing absentmindedly over your hand. “second of all,” you add, leaning closer to him now, your voice dropping just slightly, playful, “you love it.” his smile softens into something quieter. “…yeah,” he admits under his breath. and somehow, that feels louder than everything else around you.
you’re still smiling when you spot it. at first, it doesn’t fully register, just something familiar at the edge of your vision, but then your steps slow, your head turning slightly as your eyes lock onto it properly.
the photobooth. the same one. the one from your first date.
your grip on his hand tightens instantly. “hoon-” you start, already turning toward him, your expression lighting up in a way he recognizes immediately. he follows your gaze, and the second he realizes- “…no,” he says immediately, but there’s no real weight behind it, just a quiet laugh already slipping through. “yes,” you counter just as quickly, already tugging on his hand. “baby,” he groans lightly, letting himself be pulled anyway, his steps following yours without resistance. “do we really have to go? there’s literally a line.”
you stop just long enough to turn back to him, and give him that look; your eyes wide, your lips slightly pressed together in a way that’s just barely holding back a smile, your whole expression softening into something dangerously convincing. puppy eyes. and he knows it. he exhales sharply through his nose, looking away for a second like he’s trying, really trying, not to give in. “…you’re so annoying,” he mutters. but his fingers tighten around yours anyway, and he doesn’t let go.
you don’t even remember waiting, one second you’re standing there, shifting your weight impatiently, and the next, you’re inside.
the curtain falls shut behind you, cutting off the noise of the park, leaving just the small, enclosed space and the faint hum of the machine. you both look at each other for a second, and then-you start laughing. the timer beeps, and you barely register it. because he’s already leaning closer, his hand finding your waist like it always does, like it’s second nature now, and you’re already leaning into him, your hands sliding up to his shoulders. “we’re not even ready—” you try to say, but it dissolves into laughter when he kisses you mid-sentence. the flash goes off.
your lips meet his again, softer this time, slower, more familiar, but no less full of feeling, no less real than that very first time. “i love you,” you mumble against his lips, breathless, smiling. he huffs out a quiet laugh, his forehead resting briefly against yours. “i love you more,” he murmurs back, like it’s automatic, like it’s something he’s said a hundred times and still means every single one.
another flash. you both try, try, to pose properly this time, but it lasts all of two seconds before you’re laughing again, your hands tangling together, his nose brushing yours. “stop moving—” he says, but he’s smiling too much to mean it. “you stop moving-”
another picture, another laugh, another quiet, soft i love you slipping somewhere in between. when the strip finally prints, you both lean in to look at it together, shoulders pressed close, your head instinctively tilting toward his.
the first photo, blurry laughter. the second, him looking at you instead of the camera. the third, mid-kiss. and the last one, both of you smiling. not at the camera, but at each other.
“…we’re really doing this, huh?” you murmur softly.
he glances at you. “doing what?”
you smile a little, your fingers brushing over the edge of the photo strip. “…a year.”
he doesn’t answer right away. instead, his hand finds yours again, his fingers intertwining with yours like they always do, like they always will.
“…yeah,” he says quietly.
you both just lean in. your lips meet his in a soft, familiar kiss, the kind that feels easy now, natural, like it’s something your body remembers before your mind even catches up. His hand tightens slightly around yours, his other still resting at your waist, pulling you just a little closer without even realizing it.
you let out a small giggle against his lips. “wait-” you murmur, pulling back just slightly, your nose brushing his as you smile.
“…take off your glasses.”
he huffs out a quiet laugh, already smiling, already knowing exactly what you mean. his hand lifts without hesitation, sliding them off this time, your fingers brushing his as you take them from him. “you’re impossible,” he mutters softly, but there’s no real complaint in it.
you just grin, setting them aside quickly before leaning back in, this time, nothing in the way. the kiss lands deeper, warmer, slower, like you’re both taking your time with it, like you’ve learned how to exist in these moments without rushing through them.
his forehead presses lightly against yours between breaths, his lips brushing yours again, softer now.
“happy one year anniversary, baby.
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