dazatsu events

As he’s wandering around, looking for his next meal, Atsushi spots a group of pirates loading supplies from a warehouse. One of the barrels contains fresh fruit, apples, and Atsushi’s mouth begins to water at the sight of it. It’s been so long since he’s had fresh fruit. And apples are one of his favorites. He’s only had them a few times, but he’ll never forget that delightfully crunchy sweetness.

Atsushi looks over to the warehouse, noticing a distinct lack of security. He might be about to make a very bad decision.

When the coast is clear, he makes his way towards the warehouse and slips inside. No one notices, or if they do, they don’t say anything. Either way, Atsushi knows he needs to be quick, he doesn’t know when someone will show up.

He flits around, checking the crates and barrels, searching for those apples. He just needs one, that’s it. He won’t ask for more.

Soon enough, he finds it. The lid of the barrel he lifts reveals it to be half full of that delectable fruit. Atsushi reaches in and grabs one, admiring its shiny red color and firm texture. It’s not even bruised. Atsushi takes a bite before he can stop himself. Flavor bursts on his tongue, a little tart but mostly sweet, and Atsushi has to hold back a noise of delight.

So distracted by the delicious fruit, he doesn’t notice the footsteps approaching until they’re almost upon him.

Panicking, Atsushi dives into the barrell of apples, sliding the lid back over the top when he’s inside. Atsushi has never been more grateful for his scrawniness. It’s a tight fit, but somehow it works. Hopefully, whoever it is will just walk past and then he can book it out of here.

Unfortunately, lady luck is not smiling down on him. The barrel he’s in is picked up and starts moving. Atsushi stays stock still, absolutely terrified. Should he make a break for it before they can take him somewhere else? But if he struggles, he’ll be dropped and he’d be caught before he could make his escape. It won’t exactly be easy to hop right out of the barrel with how wedged into it he is.

Though he doesn’t like it, he figures the best choice is to wait until the barrel is put down. The only problem is that this barrel is almost definitely being taken to a ship, most likely one full of pirates.

After a bit of walking, he’s carried down some stairs and then the barrel is set down with a grunt. The person who carried him leaves, footsteps heading back up the stairs.

Atsushi listens closely. He can hear muffled voices and footsteps coming from above him, but nothing that sounds like it’s in the same room as him. Holding his breath, he carefully raises the lid of the barrel the tiniest bit to see out. He’s met with curved wooden walls and his heart sinks. He’s really on a ship.

After double checking that no one is in sight, Atsushi heaves himself out of the barrel as quietly as he can. It’s a bit of a struggle, but he succeeds, only narrowly keeping himself from tipping it over. Once he’s free, he inspects his surroundings.

This is clearly some sort of storage area. There’s spools of rope and lots of other crates and barrels filled with who knows what, Atsushi has no plans to find out. He needs to get off this boat before it leaves. That would be easy if he didn’t have to worry about being seen.

As he’s thinking about what he can do, he hears a commotion above him.

“You didn’t check before bringing it on board?! Why can’t you ever do your job properly?!” a voice shouts, muffled by the deck between it and Atsushi. There must be some sort of reply too quiet for Atsushi to hear because the previous voice lets out a yell of frustration, “you’re insufferable! I’ll do it myself!”

Footsteps stomp around above Atsushi, heading towards the stairs. Atsushi jumps, realizing he needs somewhere to hide, and quickly. He searches the room frantically, but there’s nowhere that he wouldn’t immediately be found.

Before he can lose himself to panic, he catches sight of something that looks like a panel in the wall, just big enough to crawl into. With no other options, he starts messing with it, trying to see if he can open it, all too aware of the footsteps getting ever closer.

Finally, he hears a click and it swings open. Atsushi throws himself into the space, closing the door as quietly as he can. Just in time, as he can hear whoever was coming down enter the room. He’s grumbling to himself but Atsushi can’t make out the words. Atsushi holds his breath as he hears rustling and things shifting around, hoping that he’s not discovered.

After some more rummaging, the footsteps leave, going back up the stairs. Atsushi quietly releases his breath, grateful that he wasn’t noticed. He doesn’t have long to feel relief as that same voice shouts again.

“Raise the anchor, we’re setting off!”

Atsushi’s heart stops. No, no, no. He can’t be stuck here! On a ship! Full of pirates!

He was supposed to have time to get off before they left. He doesn’t want to be a stowaway! There’s no way he won’t be caught before they dock again!

This is how he dies. All because he wanted an apple.

Chapter 2

Surprisingly, Atsushi isn’t dead yet.

It’s been a few days since he accidentally stowed away. The little nook he hid himself in turned out to be part of a series of hidden passages that run all around the ship. They clearly still see some use considering they’re not completely full of dust and cobwebs, but he hasn’t seen anyone in them since he’s been here. He’s spent practically all his time hiding out in them, only leaving to relieve himself and to get fluids. He’s careful to only take what he needs and hasn’t dared touch the food, afraid that the pirates will notice.

Which leads him to his current predicament of his hunger battling his fear.

He thinks he would be able to get away with sneaking some food. Even if they do realize that food is missing, they’d probably think people were just eating more and not immediately jump to assuming that someone is hiding on the ship. But they could, and that would drastically raise his chances of being caught.

Atsushi doesn’t necessarily need the food just yet. He’s gone longer without food before. He’s used to the feeling of his stomach cramping, the hunger pains, the light-headedness. But he worries he’ll get sloppy if he goes much longer without any sort of sustenance. It’s hard enough staying hidden from a ship full of pirates. Trying to do it while he’s shaky and weak and nauseaus with hunger is asking for them to discover him.

He makes his move during the night, when most of them should be sleeping. He cracks open the small door and surveys the area. No one is in sight. He can hear some snoring from nearby, the sleeping area only separated by a thin wall and open doorway.

Atsushi moves swiftly and quietly across the room to where the food is kept. He opens the door and pauses, ears catching the sound of footsteps approaching. Very close footsteps approaching. How did he not hear someone getting up?

He throws himself into the pantry and closes the door before he can think better of it. Cramped into the small space, he begs for them to be going somewhere else. His pleas go unheard as the footsteps creep ever closer, until they stop right outside the door.

The door opens, dim light filling the cupboard. A man stands there, shorter than Atsushi, with short black hair and bright green eyes that briefly lock with Atsushi’s. Atsushi’s eyes are wide with fear and rimmed with tears as his heart thunders in his chest, adrenaline and fear coursing through him. He briefly debates making a run for it past him, but there’s nowhere to go even if he did. He’s been caught and he can kiss his life goodbye. Maybe he can at least beg for mercy, plead his case, something so that he won’t be killed.

Before he can start stammering out apologies and explanations and pleas, the pirate lets out a short laugh. He looks away from Atsushi and grabs something off a shelf. Then, he shuts the door and Atsushi hears him walking away.

Atsushi stays frozen, stunned. He’s not getting drug out of his hiding place and taken to the captain who will make him walk the plank, or stab him, or shoot him, or hang him?

He’s… safe?

No, that can’t be right. That pirate is probably going to get the captain now. Atsushi needs to hide again. He hurries out of the pantry and rushes back to the secret passage. Only realizing once he gets there that he forgot to bring the food he originally came out for. He doesn’t go back for it, the scare thoroughly killing his apetite.

Atsushi waits for the storm of pirates, knowing it’s only a matter of time until he’s caught and punished however they see fit.

He waits.

And waits.

And waits.

Eventually, dawn breaks without anything happening. The crew sets about their day without a whisper of someone hiding out. No one comes looking for him.

He’s been discovered. Shouldn’t he have been captured and thrown in a cell or murdered by now? Did the pirate who caught him not tell anyone? Is he actually safe? Atsushi can’t truly believe it. But, whatever the case, all he can do is keep hiding and hope he can make it through this without losing his life.

That night, as Atsushi is trying to settle himself down to sleep, still uneasy and painfully hungry thanks to his failed attempt of getting food yesterday and unwillingness to try again now that someone has discovered him, his fear is proven right. Someone approaches his hiding place, putting Atsushi on high alert.

He spends his nights in the passage next to the storage area, somewhere that the pirates don’t show up on a regular basis, and shouldn’t have any need to this late at night. Atsushi didn’t hear anyone calling for supplies because something broke. And whoever is here isn’t getting anything. Atsushi doesn’t hear any rummaging around, just an eerie silence once the footsteps stop.

“Hey. I know you’re there,” a voice calls out. Atsushi stops breathing as dread fills him. There’s nowhere to run and he can’t hide forever.

Maybe they’re just bluffing. Or maybe it’s the pirate that saw him earlier and he just wants to talk.

Atsushi knows that’s wishful thinking. The reality is that he’s about to get murdered.

Maybe he could steal a dinghy. Do they have a dinghy on this ship? He hasn’t explored past the passages he’s been hiding in, but with a ship this size, he’d think they would. Although, if he actually stole one, he’d likely die of starvation before he could get anywhere with it.

So, his options are die by the hand of pirates or slowly wither away alone at sea.

Except he definitely wouldn’t be able to successfully get away on a dinghy. He’d be caught immediately and then killed.

So, his options are die by the hand of pirates or die by the hand of pirates. He doesn’t like those options.

Begging for mercy is still on the table. Maybe these are kind pirates. After all, they waited this long to say anything. Atsushi can’t see any reason for that. Unless they were waiting for him to give himself up. Maybe they would have spared him if he admitted his transgressions and apologized.

Atsushi’s stomach chooses that moment to growl comically loud. Atsushi cringes at the noise. Now he’s really done for. He can’t pretend any more. He has to face them.

Atsushi takes a deep breath, suppressing the urge to throw up as he hesitantly opens the door. He slowly exits his hiding place and looks towards the person waiting for him. The lighting in the ship is dim, but it’s more than enough to make them out.

All thoughts of this being a merciful pirate crew fly out the window as he realizes who he’s looking at.

“There’s my little stowaway!” Dazai Osamu says with a grin as he throws his arms out, single eye glinting in the low light.

Dazai Osamu. The Black Wraith. One of the most notorious and feared pirates this side of the world. He quickly rose to infamy a few years ago, rumored to have murdered the previous captain and his entire crew singlehandedly. He takes no prisoners and shows no mercy. If you cross him, you won’t live long enough to regret it. He’s an evil, ruthless killer.

And maybe that’s not who Atsushi is staring at.

Studying him closer, Atsushi starts to doubt his initial assumption. His look, the long black coat, eyepatch, and dark hair, certainly matches what’s said of the legendary Dark Wraith. But his countenance is nothing like Atsushi imagined. He’s not very intimidating, sitting on the floor with a bright smile, looking at Atsushi like he’s a friend.

Though he’s not the most intimidating, Atsushi can tell that he’s the one in charge. No regular crew member would wear a coat like that, long and clearly high quality, decorated with shiny black buttons and lined with red.

“Come eat! You must be starving,” Dazai Osamu(?) says, gesturing to the plate across from him.

Now, Atsushi is aware that he shouldn’t put much stock in rumors, they’re hardly ever true, often exaggerated, and don’t always make sense. And it’s not even that he thinks all the rumors about Dazai Osamu are accurate, but shouldn’t a pirate captain, regardless of if he’s Dazai Osamu or not, be more intimidating?

“Are you Dazai Osamu?” Atsushi blurts. He resists the urge to slap his hands over his mouth or close his eyes and instead clenches his hands at his sides as fear pierces through him. He can’t believe that slipped out. He might be curious, but that’s not something he needs to ask. Whether he’s Dazai Osamu or not doesn’t matter, he’s still someone who could easily kill him. If Atsushi’s wrong, it won’t possibly end well. And if he’s right, it still won’t end well. Dazai Osamu isn’t known for his kindness.

“I am indeed! And who are you, little stowaway?” Dazai Osamu(!) replies breezily.

“Nakajima Atsushi,” Atsushi answers faintly. He feels a little lightheaded, and not just because of the hunger. It’s not possible that this is happening. There’s no way that he’s talking to Dazai Osamu. That Dazai Osamu is being friendly(?) with him. Someone who could very well be here for nefarious reasons.

Maybe he’s just treating Atsushi nice before interrogating and imprisoning him. Or killing him.

Or maybe Dazai Osamu is just nicer than the rumors. Atsushi should think positive. Especially if he really is about to be murdered. He should enjoy the last few minutes of his life as much as he can.

“Come, Atsushi-kun. Eat some food,” Dazai Osamu says, waving him over again. Atsushi obeys this time and gingerly settles himself on the floor across from Dazai Osamu.

“Shouldn’t you be locking me up or throwing me overboard?” Atsushi asks, unable to believe that there won’t be any repercussions for him stowing away. And if it’s going to happen, why not go ahead and get it over with? He doesn’t want to wait in suspense for his fate to be decided.  

“Why would I do that?” Dazai Osamu asks with a tilt of his head.

“Because I’m a stowaway?” Atsushi says. Is that not something to get in trouble for? He thought pirates wouldn’t take kindly to that.

“That’s hardly a punishable offense when it was an accident,” Dazai Osamu replies easily.

“How are you so sure it was an accident?” Atsushi thinks he shouldn’t be so flippant about this. What if Atsushi was here to kill him? Or wreck his ship? Or steal from him? Or do some other awful thing?

And why does Atsushi care? Dazai Osamu’s safety has nothing to do with him. If he doesn’t want to treat a possibly deadly situation seriously, it’s none of Atsushi’s business. Atsushi should be more concerned with his own problems, like the fact that he’s trapped on a pirate ship with Dazai Osamu with no way of knowing what’s going to happen to him.

“No offense, but no one would use you as a spy or assassin. You didn’t do a great job of hiding. And you don’t seem like you’re a strong fighter,” Dazai Osamu says with a smirk, giving Atsushi a once over. Atsushi blushes at the criticism, feeling indignation rise in him.

“I’ll have you know that I’m a perfectly capable fighter,” Atsushi says. It might be a bit of an exaggeration, but he’s been in more than his fair share of tussles and never comes out worse for wear than his opponents. Is he great at fighting? No. He was never taught, and he prefers to avoid fighting if he can, but he’s stronger than he looks and he can protect himself well enough.

“Be that as it may, you’re clearly not here to cause harm. You haven’t made any sort of move the whole time you’ve been here. There have been many opportunities that you could’ve used to attempt to kill me, but none were taken. You haven’t touched the supplies. You haven’t explored anywhere outside of the secret passages. You haven’t planted anything. You didn’t even realize whose ship you were on until you saw me,” Dazai Osamu coolly explains, eye narrowed at Atsushi as he lays out his analysis.

Atsushi is reminded just who he’s sitting in front of, pinned in place by that gaze, feeling exposed, like Dazai Osamu can see straight into his soul. His heart races, trying to beat out of his chest. The moment hangs, tension frozen in the air as they stare at each other.

Abruptly, Dazai Osamu’s expression returns to the jovial smile he had before and Atsushi feels like he can breathe again. He takes back everything he thought about Dazai Osamu not being intimidating or taking things seriously. He’s clearly very capable and knows how to be serious.

“Now, eat,” Dazai Osamu says, pushing the food closer to Atsushi.

“Thank you for the food,” Atsushi says, unsure if he’ll be able to eat after that.

His worries are unfounded, as he immediately starts scarfing it down as soon as the first bite hits his tongue, complety forgetting his current situation and earlier fear. This might be the best thing he’s ever eaten. Well, it’s really not. But after not eating anything for so long, he could eat sand and find it delectable.

Atsushi eats quickly, probably too quickly, and is jolted back to reality as he looks up from his empty plate to be met with one bright brown, almost red, eye watching him intently.

Right, notorious pirate captain that could easily kill him. Atsushi doubts that’s his plan. Atsushi isn’t seen as a threat, so Dazai Osamu feels no need to kill him or imprison him. Then, what will he do with Atsushi?

“From now on, make sure you eat everyday. I can’t have a member of my crew going hungry,” Dazai Osamu says with a smile.

What?

“What?”

“You can sleep in the passages like you’ve been doing, but tomorrow, you’ll be joining the crew in the communal sleeping area,” he continues over Atsushi as he stands up.

“What?” the word is barely audible even to Atsushi, but he can’t stop it from escaping.

“Be up bright and early, I’ll introduce you to everyone in the morning. Well then, good night! Sleep well!” Dazai Osamu finishes, leaving with a wave. Atsushi sits there dumbfounded.

What the fuck just happened?

Chapter 3

Atsushi barely sleeps a wink. He stays wide awake, mind racing with thoughts of what will happen to him in the morning. Dazai Osamu let him stay, but how will the rest of the crew feel about that? Atsushi doubts they’ll be so accepting. Though, he didn’t think Dazai Osamu would let him stay with a meal and a smile and look what happened. But even if he is accepted, he doesn’t know anything about ships or pirating. What if they throw him overboard because he’s incompetent?

Eventually, morning comes. The sun is barely peeking over the horizon when Atsushi decides to get up. He checks that he’s alone where he’s exiting and quickly slips out of the secret passage. He hesitantly makes his way to the deck, wondering what will come of this.

Nothing good, apparently. Someone is on him as soon as he emerges. His arms are twisted behind his back by someone much stronger than him. Atsushi winces at the rough treatment, but doesn’t fight them. He’s the intruder here and resisiting is only likely to make it worse.

“You’re coming with me,” the stranger says. Atsushi nods without saying a word. He’s led to the captain’s quarters in silence. Upon arriving, his captor starts banging on the door.

“Wake up, you lazy bum! We have a situation!” he yells. Atsushi realizes he recognizes the voice. It’s the same one who was yelling when Atsushi first arrived, who came to check the supplies where Atsushi was hiding.

Some shuffling comes from inside before the door opens, revealing a disheveled Dazai Osamu.

“What is it, Kunikida-kun?” he asks through a yawn, eye barely open and hair mussed.

“We have a rat. What should we do with him?” Atsushi’s captor, Kunikida, asks. The captain becomes wide awake at that, fully processing the situation.

“He’s not a rat! He’s our newest recruit: Atsushi-kun!” he says, grinning brightly. Kunikida lets out a long-suffering sigh and releases his grip on Atsushi. Atsushi steps away, rubbing his wrists that were held so tightly. He looks over to see his captor.

Kunikida is tall, with blond hair and a shiny pair of spectacles. He doesn’t look it at first glance, but Atsushi is now well aware of how strong he is.

“You can’t just get new recruits without letting me know, Dazai,” Kunikida scolds. Atsushi tenses, expecting the captain to retaliate at the disrespect.

“Yes, I can. I’m the captain!” Dazai Osamu chirps, seemingly unbothered by Kunikida’s words.

“For some reason,” Kunikida mutters.

“Kunikida-kun, go bring everyone to the deck so I can introduce Atsushi-kun to them,” Dazai Osamu says. Still, the fearsome pirate captain doesn’t acknowledge the disrespect. Atsushi wonders if this is a common occurrence. Maybe Kunikida is high ranking or something.

“Yes, captain,” Kunikida says with a roll of his eyes before leaving, muttering under his breath as he goes.

“We’ll go wait on the deck while he does that,” Dazai Osamu says, slinging an arm across Atsushi’s shoulders. Atsushi starts at the contact, but doesn’t try to shrug him off. Partially out of fear and partially because it feels nice. Atsushi doesn’t experience a lot of physical contact that’s not painful. It’s a nice change. Sure, it’s a little awkward and Atsushi doesn’t know what’s happening, but he appreciates the friendly gesture. At least, he’ll choose to see it as a friendly gesture.

“Um, thank you for letting me stay, Dazai Osamu-san,” Atsushi says. He’s still not sure how to feel about his situation. He’s grateful that he wasn’t instantly murdered, of course, but he doesn’t think he’ll make a very good pirate. And he doesn’t know if he wants to. Regardless, he should show his gratitude for being allowed to live.

“You’re welcome. And don’t use my whole name. Just call me Dazai. Or captain,” Dazai replies.

“Yes, Dazai-san,” Atsushi says hesitantly. It feels strange not referring to him by his full name, but it’s what he asked. Atsushi would feel stranger not doing it. It’s just something he’ll have to get used to. Since this is his life now, apparently.

Dazai takes Atsushi to the deck, where a few people are already waiting.

A woman with bright red hair in two braids who is eyeing Atsushi critically and a man with dark, shaggy hair covering his eyes who is fiddling with a journal in his hands. Atsushi waves uncertainly with a nervous smile. The woman’s eyes narrow and the man makes no acknoweldgement of him.

“Good morning!” Dazai says.

“This is the new recruit?” the woman asks.

“Yes! I’ll wait for introductions until everyone is here,” Dazai replies, ignoring her lack of greeting. Atsushi thought the disrespect would be limited to Kunikida, but maybe not. Does everyone treat Dazai like this? He thought the captain, especially a captain like Dazai, would be more feared than disrespected. Though he carries himself lightly and acts flippant, Atsushi saw last night that he’s perfectly competent and terrifying if he wants to be. Atsushi doubts that the crew isn’t aware of this and yet they don’t treat him like he is.

“Everyone! This is Atsushi-kun! Our newest recruit!” Dazai announces, moving Atsushi in front of himself, when Kunikida has gathered everyone. A few people give half-hearted greetings. Someone yawns. Atsushi tries not to cringe.

“Where’s your enthusiasm?!” Dazai asks.

“It’s too early for that,” someone says. Dazai sighs.

“Well, I’ll introduce everyone to you one by one, Atsushi-kun,” Dazai turns his attention to Atsushi instead. Atsushi nods, nervous for how he’ll be received.

“First, Kunikida-kun! The uptight one who can’t take a joke,” Dazai says, gesturing to Kunikida.

“Sorry about earlier. It’s nice to properly meet you,” Kunikida says with a nod to Atsushi, making no acknowledgement of Dazai’s words. Atsushi hurries to wave it off.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s nice to meet you, too,” Atsushi replies. He can tell that Kunikida is the stern type, but he doesn’t seem unkind.

“Next, Yosano-san! The doctor with a sadistic streak,” Dazai says, gesturing to a woman with medium length dark hair adorned with a butterfly pin.

“Don’t mind him, I’ll take good care of you if you get hurt,” she says with a smirk.

“Thank you,” Atsushi replies, gulping. He thinks he maybe he should mind Dazai. That smirk does not inspire confidence in her words. He’ll do his best to not get hurt, not eager to find out who’s telling the truth.

“Next, Ranpo-san! The one with a sweet tooth and no sense of direction,” Dazai says, moving Atsushi to the next person in line. Atsushi blanches, recognizing this as the man who caught him trying to take food. Ranpo smiles. Dazai looks back and forth between the two of them before landing on Ranpo with a questioning gaze. Ranpo laughs.

“Good luck,” he says to Atsushi.

“Thank you?” Atsushi replies. Good luck with what? Living on a ship? Being a pirate? Just, in general? He gets the feeling that there’s a hidden meaning to Ranpo’s words, but he has no idea what it could be.

“Next, Gin! The melee weapons master,” Dazai says. Gin has short black hair and a scarf wrapped around the lower half of her face. She gives him a nod, grey eyes piercing through him. Atsushi returns the nod. Dazai pulls him to the next person.

“Next, Poe! The coward with a Ranpo obssession,” Dazai says. Poe is the man who was already on deck when Dazai and Atsushi first arrived. He’s still fidgeting with his journal, clearly nervous.

“Welcome,” he says quietly, inclining his head to Atsushi.

“Thank you,” Atsushi replies.

“Next, Lucy! The snarky one who loves to cook,” Dazai says. Lucy is the red head that was evaluating Atsushi earlier.

“I don’t love to cook. I just do it the most because no one else is any good at it,” Lucy clarifies. She looks Atsushi up and down. Searching for something, Atsushi supposes. Eventually, she stops and makes eye contact with Atsushi as she speaks.

“Try not to get yourself killed, Atsushi. This kind of life isn’t easy,” she says. Atsushi wonders if she thinks he’s not capable.

“I’ll do my best,” Atsushi replies. He’s well aware that piracy is dangerous. He never would have chosen it for himself, but it’s where he is now. So, he’ll learn and he’ll live.

“Next, Junichiro and Naomi! You’ll never find one without the other,” Dazai says, gesturing to a pair of people wrapped up in each other. Junichiro is a young man with short red-blond hair and Naomi is a young woman with long black hair. Naomi is hugging one of Junichiro’s arms, pressed right up against him.

“Welcome to the crew!”

“Welcome aboard!”

They both speak at the same time, giving him matching smiles before Naomi pouts.

“We were supposed to say the same thing,” she says.

“Sorry,” Junichiro replies, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m going to have to punish you for this,” she says with a smirk, completely ignoring Atsushi and Dazai. Junichiro’s face turns red as he starts stammering and Atsushi can feel his own face heating up at the implication.

“Next, Michizou! The former newest recruit who likes to act tough even though we all saw him baby talking a stray cat,” Dazai says, hurriedly pulling Atsushi along. Michizou has short red hair and a bandage across his nose. He gives Atsushi a crooked grin, unphased by Dazai’s words.

“I’m glad to not be the newest anymore. Welcome aboard,” he says.

“Thank you,” Atsushi replies.

“Last, but certainly not least, myself! Your wonderful, charming, charismatic captain, Dazai Osamu!” Dazai says, posing dramatically and giving Atsushi a wink.

“The slacker with a tacky outfit who has no depth perception,” Kunikida calls. Chuckles resound through the crowd and Atsushi doesn’t hold his breath for the reprimand that doesn’t come, realizing that they’re just joking around. The whole crew feels more like a group of friends than something more hierarchal like Atsushi expected.

 Dazai clutches a hand over his heart like he’s been dealt a massive blow.

“Kunikida-kun,” he calls weakly, falling down to a knee. Atsushi has to fight to keep from laughing, unsure if it’s welcome from him. Dazai falls all the way to the ground, making wounded noises as he goes, before going limp, pretending to be dead. Atsushi can’t hold it in at that and a laugh escapes him. One of Dazai’s eyes cracks open and he smiles at Atsushi, assuring Atsushi that it’s fine.

Dazai gets up and returns to Atsushi’s side.

“Now, it’s time for a tour!” he exclaims, throwing an arm around Atsushi’s shoulders again. Atsushi leans into it a little bit this time, suddenly feeling much better about his situation.

“Are you coming with us, Kunikida-san?” Atsushi asks, noticing him walking over.

“Yes. I know he won’t actually explain anything, so I’ll do it for him. There’s plenty you’ll need to learn now that you’re on the crew,” Kunikida says. Atsushi nods.

“Thank you. I’ll be in your care,” he says.

Atsushi is lead through the whole ship from the hold to the helm with Kunikida providing helpful information and Dazai providing not so helpful commentary. Not even five minutes in, Atsushi’s head is already spinning with everything he’s being told. He’s not sure he’ll be able to remember everything he needs to.

“That concludes the tour! Now, I have captain things to do. Kunikida-kun will show you the ropes,” Dazai says. He’s gone before Atsushi can get a word out. Kunikida sighs. Atsushi has already become familiar with the sound.

“Let’s get to work,” Kunikida says, the light glinting sinisterly off of his spectacles as he adjusts them. Atsushi gulps. A chill races down his spine as a terrible premonition comes over him; his life just got a lot harder.

Chapter 4

Atsushi’s premontion turns out to be correct. Life is harder.

A few days have passed since he officially joined the crew. And every one of those days has been filled with nonstop work and learning.

Even though he’s learned a lot in the short time he’s been officially on the crew, he hasn’t been taught everything he needs to. One thing that hasn’t come up yet that he’s nervous about is sword fighting.

The first day, Kunikida gave him a spare sword. He told Atsushi not to try anything with it unless it’s a life or death situation until someone shows him how to properly use it. In the meantime, if any fighting happens, he should just run and hide. Atsushi likes and hates that plan. He doesn’t enjoy the thought of hurting anyone, but it’s a skill he’ll need now that he’s a pirate. A decision he had no say in.

He thought he’d be more upset about it, but though life has been harder in some ways, it’s also been easier in others. He doesn’t have to worry about food and he has people that he can tentatively call friends. Or at least friendly acquaintances. Everyone has been kind to him. He’s enjoyed getting to be around people that don’t treat him horribly.

What he’s enjoyed the most, and what’s surprised him the most, is the fact that he’s gotten close with Dazai.

At first, Atsushi thought Dazai was just hanging around to monitor the new recruit. He was kind of worried that Dazai was looking for a reason to kick him off, despite knowing that wouldn’t make any sense considering Dazai didn’t give him a choice in becoming a crew member. He wouldn’t then immediately try to find a reason to get rid of him, but Atsushi was still uneasy.

Atsushi quickly learned that wasn’t the case at all as the most Dazai would do when he fucked up was laugh at him before helping him out. Atsushi doesn’t know why Dazai spends so much time with him, but he can say that he likes it.

It’s not a thought he could have ever imagined having. He enjoys the company of Dazai Osamu? The same Dazai Osamu who’s said to have killed hundreds and never shown remorse or mercy? Who is black as night and pure evil?

Though, Atsushi hasn’t seen any evidence of those rumors. Dazai isn’t evil and sinister. He’s carefree and complains about working. He plays pranks and loves to give Kunikida a hard time. He’s kind and fun to be around.

Atsushi knows he hasn’t seen Dazai in action yet. There hasn’t been any raiding or fighting since he’s been on the ship. Maybe Dazai is merciless and kills indiscriminately like people say. Maybe he’s done awful things and feels no remorse.

But Atsushi can’t make himself believe that. What he’s seen of Dazai is what he chooses to believe. And what he’s seen is good. Rumors and stories are irrelevant. Dazai is good to him and good to his crew and that’s what matters to Atsushi.

A yawn suddenly comes over Atsushi. He’s so tired. And yet, tonight, he couldn’t sleep. Instead, he’s up on the deck, admiring the midnight scenery as he thinks about his strange new life.

The moon is full and bright. It reflects off the waves that are beating tirelessly against the ship. They’re stronger than usual tonight, rocking the boat harshly. Atsushi hasn’t quite got used to walking around on a boat. The way the floor constantly moves under his feet still throws him off, especially when the waves are rougher like this.

Another yawn escapes Atsushi and he wonders if he should head back to bed. He’s been up here for a while. Maybe now he’ll be able to fall asleep.

Atsushi gets up from where he was sitting with his back against the railing. His eyes slip closed as he stretches and yawns once again.

“Lovely night, isn’t it?” Dazai’s voice comes from right in front of him and Atsushi jumps, eyes widening in surprise as he steps back, bumping into the railing. At the same time, a particularly strong wave hits, making the boat lurch. Atsushi, still off balance, falls backwards. He doesn’t have time to think as he goes tumbling over the edge and towards the ocean.

The air is knocked from his lungs as he hits the icy water and he barely keeps himself from inhaling it. He tries to push himself to the surface, arms and legs flailing frantically. Somehow, it works and his head meets air. Before he has time to take a breath, a wave crashes over him, sending him back under.

His lungs burn with the lack of oxygen as he starts to panic. He continues trying to breach the surface, moving even more frantically, but it doesn’t work. No matter how desperately he struggles, he can’t find air again.

Just as he’s starting to think that this is how he dies, something wraps around his middle and he’s pulled. He thrashes harder, trying to get it off of him, until he recognizes that it’s an arm pulling him. Someone is helping him. Atsushi stops fighting and instead kicks his legs to help propel them as he’s guided.

In moments, his head is above water and he’s able to take in sweet, sweet air. He coughs, expelling the water he inhaled.

“Grab on,” Dazai’s says. Atsushi opens his eyes, finding himself right in front of the ship’s ladder. He latches onto it and starts climbing. He scurries to the middle of the deck when he makes it up, unwilling to be anywhere near the edge after that. Dazai comes up right after him.

“You should be more careful. Drowning isn’t a great way to die,” Dazai says, walking over to Atsushi.

“I will. Thank you,” Atsushi says through heaving breaths. Atsushi knows how to swim, but he isn’t that good at it. He’s never been in the ocean when the waves are so tall and strong or when he’s panicking from having fallen. He surely would have drowned if Dazai didn’t help him.

A breeze blows and Atsushi shivers. Though the days are uncomfortably warm, the nights get chilly. It’s not a problem normally, but soaking wet like this, it feels much colder.

“Come with me,” Dazai takes Atsushi by the wrist and starts walking. Atsushi follows without resistance. He’s taken into the captain’s quarters. The one place on the ship he hasn’t been yet.

It’s spacious but not enormous, filled with shelves decorated in trinkets and prizes. There’s a desk covered in papers and a large bed next to a window looking out to sea. There’s drawers and trunks surely containing even more spoils. A curtain hangs, hiding a corner of the room.

Dazai drops Atsushi’s wrist when they enter and Atsushi waits awkwardly, watching Dazai open a drawer. He pulls out clothes and a rag and throws them at Atsushi. Atsushi barely catches them before they can hit the floor.

“Change,” Dazai says. He grabs more clothes and goes behind the curtain. Atsushi hurriedly sheds himself of his wet clothes, drying off as best he can, and puts on what Dazai gave him.

It’s a simple outfit, similar to what he was wearing before, but made of a softer fabric. Atsushi tries not to think about the fact that Dazai has almost definitely worn this before and instead focuses on how nice it is to not be in wet clothes anymore as he dries his hair.

Dazai reappears in a new outfit, scrubbing a rag over his head. He finishes and tosses the rag carelessly onto the floor, next to Atsushi’s wet clothes. Now that his face is uncovered, Atsushi can see that he doesn’t have an eyepatch on. Atsushi quickly averts his gaze, not wanting to bring attention to it.

“You can look. I wear the eyepatch to protect it, not hide it,” Dazai says easily. Atsushi debates with himself. Dazai gave him explicit permission, but it still feels like something Atsushi shouldn’t see. Too personal. But it would be rude to refuse when Dazai told him he could.

Atsushi looks back, finding Dazai much closer than he was before, standing right in front of him. Atsushi’s gaze turns upward and lands on Dazai’s right eye.

Right away, Atsushi can tell it’s different from his left. The warm brown turned milky and unfocused. The skin around it is red and irritated. A scar cuts through the top eyelid.

Before he knows it, Atsushi’s hands are on Dazai’s face, pulling it closer to him to see better.

“I’m sure you can tell, but I can’t see out of it,” Dazai says as Atsushi stares at his eye.

“Does it hurt?” Atsushi asks, inspecting it. He doesn’t know much about eye injuries so he’s not sure, but it certainly doesn’t look comfortable. Atsushi just hopes it isn’t unbearable.

“Sometimes. The sunlight makes it worse, that’s what the eyepatch is for. And it often hurts when I wake up, but it’s not constant,” Dazai replies.

“That’s good,” Atsushi says. He’s glad that the pain isn’t constant. Dazai doesn’t deserve that. It’s bad enough that he lost vision in it. If it hurt all the time as well, that would be absolutely awful.

Dazai smiles and tilts his head, bringing Atsushi’s attention to the fact that he’s practically cradling Dazai’s face. His cheeks heat up in embarrassment and he quickly pulls them away. They don’t get very far before Dazai catches his wrists and intertwines their fingers.

“Let’s go to bed,” Dazai says, gently tugging Atsushi over to the bed. Atsushi follows dumbly, stuck on the fact that Dazai’s hands are in his. They’re cold. Atsushi doesn’t know if it’s because of the impromptu dip into the ocean or if they normally are.

Dazai lets go to crawl under the covers and then pats the bed, beckoning Atsushi to join him.

“You want me to get in bed with you?” Atsushi asks. He knows that’s what’s happening. There’s no other explanation for it, but it doesn’t compute. Where did this come from? Why does Dazai want him to get in his bed?

“We’ll need to share body heat to warm up so neither of us gets hypothermia. So, we’re sleeping together,” Dazai says matter-of-factly, lifting the covers for Atsushi to get under. Atsushi knows it’s nowhere near cold enough for them to get hypothermia. He’s experienced hypothermia before and this is nothing compared to it. He’s barely cold anymore, just a little chilled.

Atsushi decides not to call him out on it. He’ll use the flimsy excuse if it means he gets to be closer to Dazai. It’s clearly what Dazai wants and Atsushi won’t lie to himself and say that he doesn’t.

Atsushi joins Dazai on the bed. As soon as he’s laying down, Dazai is completely wrapped around him. Arms and legs enveloping him like an octopus. Atsushi jolts at the suddenness as well as the temperature difference. Dazai is still quite cold. Maybe he actually is in danger of getting hypothermia. Atsushi returns the embrace, determined to warm Dazai up.

In a soft bed, covered in blankets and wrapped around each other, Atsushi feels comfortably warm in no time. He’s sure Dazai feels the same as he sighs contently, somehow snuggling even closer to Atsushi.

“Good night, Atsushi-kun,” Dazai says quietly.

“Good night, Dazai-san,” Atsushi replies, already half asleep. Before he makes it all the way there, he swears he hears Dazai whisper something that sounds like “thank you.”

Chapter 5

“We’re here for Ranpo-san’s treats, but feel free to get stuff for yourself if you want. We’ll be leaving before sundown, though. So, make it quick,” Dazai announces as they dock. The sun is already high in the sky, beating down harshly.

Ten days. Atsushi has been spending the night with Dazai for the past ten days. Every night since the first time, Dazai has found any and every excuse to drag Atsushi to bed with him. Atsushi never fights him. Though he felt awkward about it at first, he sleeps much better thanks to the actual bed and Dazai’s presence.

He’s learned that Dazai runs cold. Every time Atsushi cuddles up to him, he’s freezing. It makes Atsushi wonder if Dazai simply wants a personal heater and think Atsushi fills that role best, or if there’s more to it like there is for Atsushi.

Does Dazai want more? Does he like Atsushi the way Atsushi likes him?

These thoughts have plagued Atsushi since that first morning he woke up and realized he wanted to kiss Dazai. Atsushi thinks it’s possible. Dazai spends so much time with him and is always finding excuses to touch him. He doesn’t do that with everyone.

But Atsushi hasn’t been able to bring himself to say anything. What if he’s wrong? What if he ruins what they have? He’s happy enough just getting to spend his nights with Dazai. It’s more than he could ask for.

“We’re also here for actual supplies,” Kunikida interjects.

“Yes, but you’ve got a handle on that yourself, Kunikida-kun,” Dazai says.

“It’ll take too long if I do it all myself. You could get off your sorry ass and help, Dazai!”

“But I already have plans. Important plans,” Dazai protests.

“We’ll help you, Kunikida-san,” Junichiro volunteers himself and Naomi, who’s unsurprisingly wrapped around him, before Kunikida can really lay into Dazai. Atsushi breathes a sigh of relief. When Kunikida gets started, it’ll be a while until he stops.

“And I’ll get the medical supplies, so don’t worry about that,” Yosano adds. Atsushi wonders if he should offer his assistance as well.

“Thanks. That should be enough help,” Kunikida says. Atsushi goes to ask anyway, but the supply crew is gone before he can get a word out, leaving him to wonder what he should do. He doesn’t have long to think about it as someone grabs his arm and starts pulling him along.

“Let’s go!” Lucy says.

“Where are we going?” Atsushi asks, doing nothing to fight her. Lucy is the person he’s closest to after Dazai. She happened to catch him leaving the captain’s quarters that first morning, in the middle of his crisis. She teased him, clearly thinking they’d just had sex. Atsushi hurried to deny it and proceeded to dump the whole story along with his crisis onto her. She laughed at him, but comforted him, too. Since then, they started spending more time together and became good friends.

“I’ll show you around. I even brought money for you so you can get yourself something if you want. Or maybe something for someone special,” Lucy says with a wink. Atsushi’s cheeks warm at the implication. She loves to tease him about his crush on Dazai. Atsushi doesn’t mind, it’s in good faith, but it never fails to make him blush.

“Now, our first stop is food. You can’t go shopping without a snack first,” Lucy says, leading Atsushi to a food stall. His mouth starts watering immediately at the smell of cooking meat. Atsushi likes the food on the ship, it’s food, it keeps him alive, but it’s definitely lacking in the taste department. He’s excited to have something fresh and not preserved.

Lucy orders and pays, handing Atsushi his share. Atsushi takes a big bite, letting out a sound of delight at the flavor. It’s perfectly seasoned and juicy, tender meat.

“It’s good, right?” Lucy says.

“It’s delicious,” Atsushi replies through his full mouth

They finish their food and head out to explore. Lucy takes him to lots of places in a short time, barely letting him see everything before they’re moving onto the next stop. Despite how fast paced the venture is, Atsushi finds himself enjoying it.

He’s never been on a shopping spree before, or been able to just explore for fun, always looking for his next meal and shelter. Before he accidentally stowed away, he was always on the move, never letting himself stay in one place for too long. He didn’t want people to recognize him when he made a habit of stealing, though he only ever stole the scraps, things people were throwing out. Even then, he’d get chased and attacked for it.

So it’s nice to actually be able to check a town out without worrying about food or shelter or escape routes or who would be kindest if they caught him stealing.

“Thank you for showing me around, Lucy. I had fun,” Atsushi says as they’re heading back to the ship.

“You’re welcome. It’s too bad you didn’t find anything you wanted,” she replies.

“I don’t mind,” Atsushi says. He didn’t really look for things to buy, he just enjoyed getting to see everything. He’s glad Lucy decided to bring him along and let him experience something new.

They arrive on the ship and Atsushi is immediately swept away. Dazai grabs his arm and tugs him along. Atsushi wonders why everyone always has to pull him around. They could just ask him to come with them, he’d say yes. Though, he’s not upset about Dazai’s hands being on him.

“I have something for you, Atsushi-kun!” Dazai says, taking him to the captain’s quarters. Dazai goes to the desk and grabs something off of it. He turns around and presents Atsushi with a sword.

“I picked it out for you today! It’s about time I taught you how to use one, and I figured you should have your own instead of one of the spares. What do you think?” Dazai says, holding it out to Atsushi. Atsushi carefully takes it. The scabbard is decorated, made of leather and metal. The hand guard is a simple strip of metal, but the handle has detailing that looks like scales and the pommel is engraved with a seashell design.

“Do you like it?” Dazai asks.

“I do,” Atsushi says. The thought of using a sword still makes him somewhat nervous, but he can’t deny that it’s beautiful. He doesn’t want to think about how much it’s worth. And Dazai is giving it to him like it’s nothing.

“Thank you,” he adds.

“You’re most welcome! I’ll show you how to use it in the morning,” Dazai says.

“I look forward to it,” Atsushi replies and he mostly means it. Though he might not love the activity they’ll be doing, the fact that he’s with Dazai will make it more enjoyable.

Chapter 6

Atsushi is up before dawn, nervous about his lesson with Dazai. He slips out of bed, taking his new sword with him, and goes up to the deck. It’s quiet this early, the only sound coming from the waves hitting the hull and the ship creaking and sails blowing.

The weight of the sword on his belt is heavy and unignorable. Atsushi takes it off, holding the sword in both hands as he stares at it. He cautiously unsheathes it, the shing of the metal loud in the quiet morning. The blade is smooth and shiny and cold to the touch.

Atsushi isn’t scared of swords, but he’s very well aware of how much damage they can do, how easily they can hurt. He’s nervous about having that capability in his hands. Despite knowing that he’ll have to now that he’s a pirate, Atsushi still doesn’t want to hurt people.

But he does want to protect himself and the people he cares about. And being able to properly use a sword will make that possible. He’s determined to do well regardless of his anxiety, it’s something he needs to learn.

And he’ll be learning from the best. Dazai is well known for his skill with weapons in general. Atsushi is sure to get the hang of it with his help.

Atsushi returns his sword to his scabbard and puts it back on his waist. The sun is just starting to peek over the horizon, bathing everything in a golden glow. The others should be getting up soon.

__________

“Atsushi-kun! It’s time for your swordfighting lesson.”

True to his word, Dazai appears right after breakfast to get Atsushi. After earlier, Atsushi is less nervous about it, but his heart still skips a beat. He pushes down his nerves and follows Dazai up to the deck. Dazai takes him to a spot that’s at least mostly out of the way and open enough to actually move.

“Draw your sword,” Dazai says. Atsushi carefully pulls his sword out of its scabbard and holds it up.

“First things first, widen your stance,” Dazai says as he steps forward, delicately pushing Atsushi’s sword out of the way, and scoots Atsushi’s feet farther apart with one of his own. Atsushi resists the urge to step back, startled by his sudden closeness.

“Bend your knees. Your legs are too stiff,” Dazai steps around him and leans down to push the back of his knee with a hand. Atsushi tenses at the touch.

Now behind him, Dazai reaches around him to adjust his grip on the sword, loosely embracing Atsushi to do so. He’s saying something that Atsushi is sure is important. Unfortunately, the words go in one ear and out the other for Atsushi, too preoccupied with the feeling of Dazai pressed against him and practically holding his hand.

“There you go. Now, you’re ready to fight,” Dazai says, finally stepping away from Atsushi. Atsushi distantly takes note of how he’s positioned, trying to think properly now that Dazai isn’t invading his space.

“Come at me,” Dazai says, drawing his own sword. He settles into a proper stance with an ease and swiftness that comes from years of practice and Atsushi is in awe. It’s fascinating to see him go from loose and carefree to ready to fight in an instant.

Atsushi makes no move. Sure, he’s standing properly, but he still has no idea how to actually use this thing. What if he accidentally hurts Dazai? Or himself?

“Just take a swipe at me,” Dazai encourages. Atsushi hesitantly pulls his sword back and swings at Dazai with so little force that when Dazai blocks, it barely makes a sound.

“You can do better than that. Attack like you mean it. You won’t hurt me,” Dazai says. Atsushi readjusts his stance and swings again, trusting Dazai. Even if Atsushi fucks up, Dazai knows what he’s doing and won’t be hurt by it.

This time, a proper clang rings out as Dazai blocks.

“Better. Again,” Dazai says. Atsushi resets and strikes again. Dazai deflects instead of blocking and clearly telegraphs his return strike, giving Atsushi plenty of time to raise his own block. 

Atsushi instinctively steps back as the sword comes towards him and blocks it. Dazai steps forward and swings again. Atsushi blocks again, forced to take another step back from the weight of it.

“Make an opening. You can’t be on the defensive the whole time,” Dazai says as he continues to strike at Atsushi.

And how am I supposed to do that? Atsushi wants to ask. He still has no idea what he’s doing. Dazai didn’t actually show him how to use the sword at all. He just jumped right into it.

Thankfully, Atsushi is used to figuring things out on his own.

The next time Dazai swings at him, Atsushi attempts to deflect it instead of blocking. He somehow successfully knocks Dazai’s blade away and is able to strike back. He steps forward as he swings.

Dazai easily catches Atsushi’s blade with his own and pushes it away with such force that Atsushi stumbles, arm thrown wide. Before he has time to recollect himself, Dazai’s sword is raised to his neck.

Atsushi gulps, heart racing. It would be so easy for Dazai to kill him like this, but that’s not what Atsushi’s focusing on. All he can think about is how attractive that expression is. That triumphant and mischievous gleam in his eye paired with that irresistible smirk.

“Not bad for a first try,” Dazai says, lowering his sword. Atsushi mentally shakes himself for his thoughts. He needs to focus on the swordfighting, not how attractive Dazai is.

“Are you actually going to teach me now?” Atsushi asks. He’s not upset about the demonstration, but he’d also like to learn for real.

“I already am. You learn best by doing. I’ll give you tips as we go. Now, get back into position,” Dazai replies. Atsushi resists the urge to sigh as he carefully readjusts his stance. This is going to be a long day.

By the end of it, Atsushi is sore all over and has a permanent blush across his cheeks. Dazai kept finding reasons to touch him; fixing his stance, changing his grip, inspecting him for injuries despite Atsushi assuring him he’s fine. Atsushi can’t handle such proximity. It’s like Dazai was trying to rile him up.

Atsushi is glad when Dazai lets him go for dinner. Some space should help him clear his head. He doesn’t need to be thinking about indecent things when Dazai inevitably drags him to his room tonight. Atsushi could refuse, he doubts Dazai would force him. But he doesn’t really want to. He enjoys spending his nights with Dazai and he doesn’t want this to get in the way of that. Atsushi will get over this and the night will be like the ones before it.

Despite his resolve, Atsushi feels awkward when Dazai comes to get him that night. All too aware of the fact that they’ll be pressed up against each other. Dazai is a cuddler. Normally, Atsushi likes that, but tonight he’s afraid it’ll be a problem. Still, he follows Dazai to his room, determined to not make a big deal out of it. Nothing’s going to happen. They’re just going to sleep and everything will be fine.

Like usual, Dazai crawls into bed first and beckons Atsushi in after him. Atsushi hesitates, heart beating fast. He doesn’t falter for long, not wanting Dazai to realize that something is wrong, and shortly gets in bed as well. Immediately, Dazai latches onto him. Atsushi jumps at the sudden temperature shock. He still hasn’t gotten used to it in the time they’ve been doing this.

Though it’s startling, Atsushi doesn’t let it stop him from returning Dazai’s embrace. Settling in together, Atsushi forces himself to calm down. His heart is beating way too fast and he doesn’t want Dazai to hear it.

Dazai presses even closer, sneaking a leg between Atsushi’s. Atsushi fights not to pull away. He knows Dazai is touchy.

Dazai trails a hand up Atsushi’s back, resting it against the base of his neck. A shiver runs through Atsushi. Atsushi didn’t think he was right earlier, but now he’s starting to think Dazai really is doing this on purpose.

“What’s wrong? Your heart is racing,” Dazai whispers. Atsushi isn’t fooled by his fake concern, catching the smirk on his lips. Unwilling to keep pretending to be unaffected, Atsushi leans in and kisses him. Dazai freezes and Atsushi immediately pulls away with an apology on his tongue, fearing he’s made an awful mistake. Before he can get it out, Dazai is on top of him. Literally. Atsushi is pushed onto his back as Dazai straddles him, capturing his lips in a fierce kiss.

Dazai kisses him like he’s starved, desperate and hungry. Atsushi struggles to match his pace, overwhelmed by the intensity of it. Dazai’s tongue presses against the seam of his lips and Atsushi easily grants him entry. Dazai licks into his mouth, tongue tangling with his. Atsushi is entirely unfamiliar with the sensation, but finds that he enjoys it as Dazai leads him.

Eventually, Dazai pulls away and Atsushi gasps for air, realizing that he had been holding his breath. As Atsushi is trying to catch his breath, a hand slips under his shirt. Atsushi starts at the freezing contact, momentarily distracted.

“Sorry,” Dazai says unapologetically as his other hand joins it on Atsushi’s bare skin. Before Atsushi can think of a way to retaliate, Dazai leans down again. He trails kisses down Atsushi’s neck. Atsushi squirms at the tickly feeling. The giggle that he starts to let out abruptly turns into something much closer to a moan as Dazai latches onto the top of his collarbone and sucks.

Atsushi slaps a hand over his mouth, embarrassed. Dazai reaches up and pulls Atsushi’s hand away from his mouth. Atsushi looks down at Dazai, meeting his heated gaze. Dazai slowly pulls away, maintaining eye contact.

“There’s no need to censor yourself,” he says. Atsushi would argue that there is. Anyone on the ship could hear him if he’s too loud. He doesn’t have long to worry about that as Dazai kisses him again.

It’s slower this time, Dazai’s tongue lazily finding its way back into Atsushi’s mouth. The hand Dazai has under his shirt trails up his ribs, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Atsushi jolts when a finger brushes over his nipplie, a gasp escaping him that Dazai swallows. Dazai doesn’t linger, ghosting his hand down Atsushi’s chest, pausing when he reaches the top of his pants. He breaks the kiss, giving Atsushi a questioning gaze as his fingers dance along Atsushi’s waistband.

Atsushi nods without hesitation. He knew as soon as Dazai kissed him that this is where it would lead and he’s more than ready. Dazai smirks and a shiver runs through Atsushi. Well, he sure hopes he’s ready.

__________

The first thing he notices as he wakes is how comfortable he is. He’s laying on something soft and hugging something warm. He cuddles closer to the warmth he’s holding. Something smooth and soft and moving.

Why is it moving?

Atsushi peels his sleep-heavy eyes open and is met with bare skin.

Memories of the previous night come rushing back to him and his face heats up as he pushes himself away. Tries to, that is. It doesn’t work as Dazai tightens his hold on him.

“It’s a little late to be embarrassed now,” Dazai says chipperly. How long has he been awake? Normally, Atsushi wakes up first and has to fight to get Dazai up.

“I don’t think it is,” Atsushi replies. He was caught up in the moment last night. Now that he’s thinking clearly, he’s mortified. Though he did greatly enjoy it and he doesn’t regret it.

“Oh, are you embarrassed because of–” Atsushi hurriedly covers Dazai’s mouth with a hand. He doesn’t need to hear about his inexperience out loud. He remembers it perfectly well. Dazai laughs and pulls Atsushi’s hand away.

“You don’t need to be. We both enjoyed ourselves, didn’t we?” Dazai says.

“We did,” Atsushi agrees quietly. To be honest, he wasn’t sure that Dazai did. He’d been a little too focused on how he was feeling and not Dazai. It makes him glad to know that it was good for both of them.

“I really like you, you know,” Atsushi says, needing to get it out. After what happened last night, he can’t not tell Dazai.

“I do know. I really like you, too,” Dazai replies, smiling softly. Atsushi returns the smile, feeling light.

au - up-and-coming young actor nakajima atsushi meets notoriously eccentric silver-screen sex symbol dazai osamu at a halloween party, and it gets worse. you know that one marlon brando quote where he’s talking about how he only had sex with other men as a favor because they were just SO attracted to him or w/e? that's dazai here. comphet, internalized homophobia, plausible deniability, and toxic evil depressing sex.

Quote in question: "I asked Marlon Brando, and he admitted it. He said he went to bed with lots of other men, too, but that he didn't consider himself a homosexual. He said they were all so attracted to him. 'I just thought that I was doing them a favor,' he said." (Truman Capote)