#GabrieLives

I think I’ve finally gotten to a point where I’m starting to accept this. I miss my angel though. A lot.

Today is the day. I’m looking for every reason for him to be alive. He can’t die. I’ll go insane.

I’m worried. But hopeful

One more day. One more day. It’s okay. He’s okay. This is not okay.

Fuck my life, I hate not knowing

Why? Why. WHY. why. wHy. whY. WHy. wHY. WhY. W H Y. w h y. WHY??? Why. Why why why why why why why why. What if he’s really gone and I’m just refusing to see that

I’m still pissed. I’m starting to feel empty more than anything. Still in complete and utter denial and reading as many “he’s still alive” theories as I can dig up to keep myself sane. I’m so mad at the SPN writers. So far I like the Empty one, as well as Michael resurrecting Gabe to use his grace to open the portal again. I HATE NOT KNOWING. I hate not knowing. Ugh. This sucks. TOO FAR, GUYS, TOO FAR

I cried so fucking hard. Fuck me. Fuck my life. What is this fucking bullshit the writers just pulled. He can’t be dead, right? Maybe I’m so far in denial that I’m only seeing what I want to see, but why the fuck would they go through ALL THAT WORK TO BRING HIM BACK JUST TO KILL HIM OFF AGAIN? Screw this shit, I’m so sad and angry and confused and I want to go to sleep and wake up and it’ll be Tuesday again