where’s the pic of that guy’s tinder bio where he says something along the lines of “well i’m a fat fuck with a big truck. welcome to the shitshow.”

thanks. this is literally the best tinder bio ever

Friendly reminder that yesterday when my mom took me to Walmart she left me alone in the toilet paper section and this guy started hitting on me and I said “Sorry, I’m a lesbian.” and he was like “Oh my god I’m so sorry I thought you were a boy.”

Soda just spewed out my nose

THAT WAS A PLOT TWIST

THE LEGENDARY POST

IT’S HERE

Art by Cyril Rolando

I feel like this really expresses each instrument.

my aesthetic

stop unfollowing me i have been nothing but gorgeous and hilarious to u all

18-22 is a confusing age. I got friends getting married, some in prison, and some still have to ask their parents to stay out past curfew.

*exists* oh no, I’m making things awkward!!

Obviously I want you to take care of your pets and make sure they get food and fresh water on a regular basis, but cats being huge drama queens and screaming hysterically at you and acting like they’re tragic famine victims who haven’t eaten in weeks and are about to drop dead from starvation right mcfuckin now, because you’re 10 minutes late feeding them is always going to be one of the funniest things to me

the cat who lives at the vet clinic i volunteer at was mad yesterday because his dinner was half an hour late due to a busy day. he proceeded to go to all the (empty dw) garbage cans and tried to knock them over and started desperately scavenging for scraps of food because obviously no one loves him or cares about him and if he must eat garbage to survive then so be it

not food related, but one time my cat cried at me for 20 minutes before i worked out that the reason why she was upset was because there was a coat hanger on her favourite cushion

This is absolutely beautiful and changed my life, thank you so much. Please protect her from hangers at all costs

wow. am STORVING and humaines here making joke laugh at cate honger ?!

@goldenmeme Oh my God! I’m not the only one!! My cat does exactly the same thing.

betseyjlove

Theatre changes lives. End of story.

Brb sobbing

I’ve already read this story like six times before and I’m still tearing up yikes