We Could Be Heroes

He shook his head, it didn’t bother him, he just wanted to tell her something, he knew how the lack of answers worried everybody. He listened carefully when she mentioned Barrel, the boy was Dash’s plan. He didn’t knew Barrel very well so he couldn’t tell if he was withholding information or simply didn’t know anything. “So he doesn’t know a thing?” Dash started to doubt his plan but now wasn’t the time to get a new idea, he’d talk to the boy and see where it led. He patted her hand when she rested it on his arm “No, it’s  okay.” he sighed “She’s your friend too, no wonder you’d be worried as well. I really hope she turn up, or at least say something.”

He felt a bit overwhelmed by her questions, not that she was to blame just that he wanted answers for them but he didn’t have them “I- I don’t know.” She sighed, checking his phone again. “I know as much as you do. She didn’t sleep at home. I was going to spend the day with her, to celebrate her last day of community service, but she never arrived.” Dash recalled all those pastries and sweets he had spent the entire morning baking. Dash looked around trying to find answers but he only found more questions. He rubbed his beard “I wish I could tell you more, Bianca. I really do. But I just know nothing”

Barrel waited for a moment to see if Dash would say anything back. After a few moments it was clear that there was nothing else to say. He looked forward, watching the road as he hoped that Dash wouldn’t jump back into conversation at any moment. He wanted there to be a second that would allow him to just leave, proving that he was right and that there was little he could do to benefit the situation. When people left, he never chased after them. He didn’t want to. The outcome was too painful. If he had it his way, he’d just stay inside his shitty apartment. No one to fuck his head up. Barrel didn’t look at Dash, but muttered: “How long now?”

Dash glanced sideways at his question “Who knows.” he answered, continuing to focus on the road. He continued to drive, not bothering about the boy next to him. It was getting dark, and Dash could feel himself get tired, not only to mention sore from driving most of the day. They were getting close to the border which was good news. He saw a sign in the distance signaling a diner nearby. When he reached there, he pulled to the parking spot, not even bothering warning Barrel. He parked the car, and opened the door to exit. “I’m tired, hungry and need to go to the bathroom. Stay in the car if you want , or not. “ He slid out of his seat “Not my problem.” Dash barked before slamming the door shut and heading inside the diner.

Barrel had hoped that the rest of the car ride would be fairly quiet like the rest of the journey. Even if he wanted to talk, he didn’t have much to say to Dash. It wasn’t the happiest and best circumstance to chat and have a good conversation. He rested his elbow on the side of the door, leaning his head on his hand. He began to hear Dash talk and although he wanted to block it out, Dash wouldn’t stop. Barrel didn’t look at him. The more Dash talked, the more Barrel began to grit his teeth, hoping that any second now, he’d shut up and let the journey be silent again. Who gives a fuck about a bunny? A few moments later, he couldn’t handle it anymore. “Shut the fuck up! Seriously! What are you trying to do? Make me want to leave?” Barrel was looking at Dash now. “I’m not in the mood for this crap. I don’t want to be sat in this fucking car trying to find someone who wants fuck all to do with me. Don’t even pull the ‘aw she would never give up on you’ bullshit.” He said the last part in a random, mocking voice. “You don’t know shit.” He turned back to the window, hoping that everything would just be quiet.

He knew that he probably should have stopped talking a while ago but for some reason he couldn’t stop himself. When Barrel started to yell at him he finally stopped. As the boy kept yelling, Dash found himself growing angrier by the minute. He started gripping the steering wheel tightly, trying to control his anger. A part of him wanted to stop the damn car and tell Barrel to hit the road, but he kept driving, always looking at the road. Maybe Dash was wrong about Barrel. It became more and more evident. He knew Melody, but apparently Barrel didn’t. He didn’t even seemed to care at all. He only kept driving because he knew she would react differently if Barrel was there. And that was the only reason. Barrel was only right about one thing now, Dash didn’t really care for him, at least not after that. Aw she would never give up on you that phrase kept replaying in Dash’s head, and he kept gripping the wheel tighter as it played, again, and again, and again. How could someone who has been with Melody for so long, not know the basic. Maybe that’s why she left. He continued to second doubt his idea of bringing Barrel along, but he had to continue.

Barrel didn’t do anything until Dash stopped the car. As soon as they had pulled into the gas station, he pushed himself forward and went outside. Even though he had voiced that he wanted to just get there and take no breaks, he did need one. He didn’t look back and walked over towards the side of the gas station, leaning against the wall as he rummaged around in his pocket for his cigarette and lighter. Barrel hadn’t had enough cigarettes today. It make him even more cranky. He waited a few moments then returned to the car, leaning against the window as he took note of where Dash had gone. He didn’t look up when Dash returned. “Do I wanna go? Not really. In fact more than anything I’d love to just get a taxi and go home.” He took another drag of his cigarette before throwing it to the ground in annoyance. He looked up at Dash. “I’m doing fuck all. It’s a waste of my time.” But he knew that if he carried on, he’d be left alone after this. “Just answering your question.” Barrel stepped down on the cigarette that was underneath him and moved to enter the car again, slamming the door as he did.

He couldn’t wait to show Melody his bunny picture, she would love it. Dash sighed at Barrel’s response “Yeah. Okay.” he said dryly. Dash slid in the car, and placed his new red bull on the cup holder. He started the car and drove back into the road. After a few minutes he glanced at Barrel “I saw a bunny.” he started in a attempt to start conversation even if his previous attempts were a sign that the boy wasn’t really that interested in a conversation, but Dash couldn’t help himself. “It’s pretty weird seeing a bunny in a gas station. He should be in the fields playing with his bunny friends, not in gas station. Maybe he was lost. Maybe it wasn’t even a he, maybe it was a she.” He continued to rant, he should have stopped talking but he kept blurting out his random thoughts on the bunny “And it was also pretty weird that it was white. White bunnies are normally in the mountains, where there’s snow. Maybe it wanted me to follow it so he could lead me to a parallel world with tea parties. Lots of maybes.” he shrugged “I never really saw a bunny in the wild like that, they don’t appear often in Santa Monica, or maybe I just happened to never ran into them.” Dash continued with his rant, not really caring if Barrel was invested in the conversation, he was simply saying whatever came into his head “We did find a guinea pig roaming around the streets, which was weird. M- She insisted on taking care of it. She named him Barney, luckily, Barney was the neighbors pet who ran away. How the hell does a guinea pig run away. It’s so small. Barney was cool, he stood in his hind legs when he wanted food.” 

Barrel knew that he wasn’t being the nicest person. But the truth was he didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to think. He just wanted to be free to walk around and do whatever he wanted. After this, that’s the way it would be. He didn’t care about much, but now he wouldn’t care about a damn thing. Barrel caught himself off guard when Dash started to talk. “Yeah, alright…” He did actually need a good stretch, and more importantly he needed a good smoke. He rubbed his eyes. He was started to get tired, but he still wasn’t sure he could sleep. “I’m gonna have a cigarette as well.” That was all he wanted. No food, just a smoke. “Might be a few minutes.”

He frowned when Barrel mention he only wanted a smoke, he was starting to get worried but he wasn’t going to say anything, he would just keep a careful eye on him. He stopped the car in a free fuel dispenser and quickly exited the car. As he was pumping gas into the car, he looked around and caught a glimpse of a bunny hopping, he left the nozzle pumping by itself and quickly opened his trunk and pulled out his camera from one of his bags. He quickly snapped a few shots of the bunny. He took it as a sign that he would find his tiny friend, bunnies were Mel’s favorite animal, well, one of them. He stored the camera back in the bag and finished pumping gas. He made Barrel a sign that he was heading into the store nearby to buy some things. He bought some waters, and a red bull. He approached Barrel “Wanna go?” he asked.

Barrel decided to close his eyes and try and make the journey faster. When he shut his lids, he began to hear a slow noise from the side of him. He opened his eyes again, slowly turning his head towards Dash as he frowned at the sounds that he was hearing. This was going to be a long ride. He could already tell. His question made Barrel frown again and he glanced over once more, simply staring and frowning and not saying anything for a few moments. “I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.” He continued his puzzled look “Please don’t explain it.”

“It’s a musical ...” he started explaining but when Barrel said he didn’t want him to explain he quickly shut up. They had been driving for hours now, in silence both of them, with only the radio playing. Dash saw a gas station sign and planned on stopping to fill up on gas and rest for a bit. “Um. Hey.” Dash started “I’m going to make a stop on the next gas station. You can leave the car and stretch your legs . If you want.” Dash said, never breaking his gaze from the road, he didn’t know what to talk about with Barrel, the only thing in common that they had was Mel and that didn’t seem to be a very good topic right now and every time tried to make conversation Barrel shot him down.

Barrel kept switching between trying to clear his thoughts and consider why he agreed to go with him. What could he do, truly? Whatever Dash knew about her location was down on these few sheets of paper, and Barrel had no other input to offer. All he had was a wasted space in the car and sulking. “Right, okay. Halfway is fine.” He grumbled, beginning to look down and read the papers that were actually useful. He glanced up at Dash when he mentioned food. “I’ll be honest. I don’t really need much sleep, food or anything right now. I just need to get there and come back home as soon as possible.” He sat glaring at Dash for a moment. “Just focus on the drive.” He let his head drop back to the papers.

He frowned at his decline of food “But-” he stopped himself, he wasn’t really that worried if he ate his snacks, but the list he made were basic human needs and he was refusing them. Dash wouldn’t let Barrel get sick, even if it meant force feeding him. Dash nodded “Okay. Easy come, easy go.” he said. and without realizing he started whispering the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen “little high, little low, will you let me go?” Embarrassed when he realized what he was doing, he cleared his throat and kept driving like nothing happened. After a few minutes of driving, Dash was finding the silence unbearable “Have you heard of Hamilton?” He blurt out “I really like it overall. But I avoid the second act, I can’t listen to Ham messing up his life like that.”

Barrel nodded and moved around in his seat. Typical. She couldn’t have just taken a quick ride half an hour away to speed up the damn thing. He knew that no matter what, his mind wouldn’t stop thinking about her. It never did, yet the idea of thinking about catching a glimpse of her at any moment wasn’t something he wanted to prolong, but there was no way of speeding this up. “Great, sounds like a lovely journey.” He said sarcastically. Barrel shook his head. He was tired, and a nap would help speed things along, but he didn’t think he could. “I can’t sleep.” He blurted out, looking out of the window. “It’s fine.” He grumbled. “Just don’t keep stopping off every five seconds.”

He pressed his lips together at his comment. He barely knew him, and now they were heading out to a road trip together, even Dash had to admit that this wasn’t a normal thing to go, but this wasn’t a normal situation. He also hoped that he could understand what happened by talking to him and try and piece the things together so he could maybe know how to talk to her, but he knew that he couldn’t force the boy to talk, the last time he did that the glove compartment paid for it. “I just plan to stop halfway.” he explained “It’s not good for the engine to the working that long non-stop.” And not only that but he also wanted to rest for a bit. “I have cookies.” he suddenly remembered.

He rubbed his forehead, in just one day he could feel himself age about 30 years. He couldn’t understand what lead her to do this, he replayed the events of last week, and previous to that in his head all day long and couldn’t find an answer. He sighed deeply and looked at the redhead “I dont know. I’m going to try something but I still don’t know if it’s going to work. I’ll message you when I figure out something.” He had plans to have Tip go through her computer and maybe find something, but that wasn’t his main idea, he needed someone else but he was still unsure if that someone wanted to go along Dash’s idea. “Right now, just stay around, if she ever comes back. I don’t know. Maybe talk to her other friends ? You know them better than I do, and give them my number if they need anything.” He knew that it was in vain to tell her that he didn’t need help, but if he was really planning to go after her, he had to have some people behind in case she came back. 

Deep down he knew he should have been more friendly towards Dash. All he was doing was swearing and complaining, but he was irritated and tired. He glanced down and began to look at the few sheets of paper that were left. A moment later he reached to turn some music on to distract from the quietness of the car, but after searching through radio stations he couldn’t find anything and he sighed, annoyed, and rested back in his seat. “I can’t find anything good. Put whatever on.” He returned his gaze to the papers. “How long is this journey going to be?” He asked. “At least an estimate.” 

He could only imagine what Barrel was going through, he couldn’t imagine Eilonwy leaving him without and explanation. He didn’t wanted to be the one rubbing salt on a open wound. But he also knew that Barrel was the only one who can get through her. He’d seen them interact around the house and at parties and he could see how Mel was with him. She was the best version of herself, something that not even Dash had seen. He watched as he scanned through the radio stations with a worried frown. With one had the tried to skip through the soft, slow love songs, now it wasn’t the time. He stopped at one that seemed to have upbeat songs that wasn’t overly annoying. “A couple of hours until the border...” It was a long trip and Dash knew it, he didn’t wanted to upset the boy even more, for a second he considered locking the car doors so he wouldn’t jump with the car in motion “We can still do it in one day.” He tried to give him the good news first “About 6 hours, ish.” He dropped the bad news. “You can sleep if you want. I have blankets... And snacks...” he trailed off. He had come prepared for a long trip, he had blankets, pillows, and various snacks. Dash was trying his best to make him at ease.

Barrel nodded and then slowed down when he got outside, waiting for Dash to indicate which car was his before he followed to go into the passengers side, moving his bag to the front so he could collect the papers. “Thanks.” He muttered, the word barely audible, but for the moment he left the radio. Barrel began to look through the papers, expecting to see ideas about where Mel could be, but instead was greeted with party plans. He scanned his eyes down the page and turned over, finding more of them. He gritted his teeth, seeing just how many pages that were no use to him before scrunching them up in his hand. Barrel reached over to the glove compartment to shove them into, opening it only to capture a glance of Melody in various pictures. He shoved the scrunched up papers into the compartment and slammed it shut so it made a loud bang. He turned his attention back to the few papers that he thought would be any use, looking down. “Can you just start fucking driving, please?”

Dash sat back watching him fumblr with the paper and scrutching them, he had to admit, this wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. When Barrel reached for the glove compartment his stomach sank “Don’t-” He tried to stop him but it was too late. Dash saw the pile of photos, and like it was destiny the ones front and center were mel’s. He knew there were a lot more of those and even some of Barrel and Mel together. He flinched at the loud bang, he quietly nodded when he told him to drive. He felt bad, he thought he’d be happier after he saw her plans, he really thought he’d see it as a sign that she does care. But atleast Barrel didn’t punch him, or ran away, which was a success. He quietly started the car and pulled out of his parking spot.

Barrel frowned slightly when Dash said he was fine to wait. Still, he collected his keys and shrugged the bag over his shoulder as Dash moved outside. He took a moment to lock the door and shove his keys into his pocket. Since Dash was waiting and not meeting him outside, Barrel decided to walk on. “You’re driving, right?” He was tired. Plus if it was possible, he could sleep a lot of the journey off and speed that up too. Quick trip there, quick trip back. He looked back at Dash. “I’ll look through the papers in the meantime, if that helps.”

Dash watched him as he closed the door, he followed Barrel outside. “Yeah. If you don’t mind. My car is outside.” Dash explained, unlike his friend, he sent a mass text to his closest friends, letting them know where he was headed. Dash nodded “Good, good.” He said, secretly hoping that the boy wouldn’t be angry at the papers Dash brought along. “It’s her most recent searches and activity, so we can have any idea where she could be.” He shrugged “I told Tip to print them all, It’s not much but it’s something to start with.” Dash pressed the button to unlock his car and opened the door, sliding inside and starting the car. “Wanna listen to music? Feel free to mess around with the radio”. He glanced over at Barrel, before drifting his eyes to glove compartment remembering the amount of pics of Melody he had in there, hoping that Barrel won’t open it.

Barrel nodded, actually quite happy that they could get it over with now. He didn’t want to have to sit around and wait and extend the torture. He also hoped that Dash had some better lead than just ‘Canada’. He didn’t want to be spending ages and ages driving around trying to find her. He wanted this to be quick. “Urm, no.” He turned back around and gathered up the papers, trying his best to not look at them in detail as he placed them into his bag. “Alright, lead the way.” It felt weird talking to Dash this much. They had barely spoken before, purely through knowing Melody. “You can go ahead if you want, I’ll just lock the door.”

Dash clapped his hands together as he waited for the boy to go get the paper, he had already shuffled the papers so the ones he wanted Barrel to see where in front. Most of them were Mel talking about him to her friends, Mel researching things for him, researching pumpkin flavored treats, and she was trying to get vacation days for hers and his birthday so the two could be together. The other two papers were simply a front, she had only researched two itineraries. Dash opened the door and walked out, when Barrel said he could go on he shrugged “Nah. I’m fine.” He said, a bit scared that this one had fleeing tendencies as well.

For a moment he didn’t reply. He did truly believe it, but he didn’t express that to Dash. Barrel went through the best and worst outcomes in his head. The best case scenario was that it wouldn’t take them any time at all to find her. He could wait in the car while Dash talked to her and as soon as it was done he could return home. The worst case was that it would take them a while to find her and he’d have to catch a glimpse of her. “Alright, just give me a few minutes to get some things.” Without even seeing if Dash wanted to sit down, he went to his bedroom and threw some random items into a small bag, not even checking if everything was clean. He was out of his room in no time at all, and he noticed Cat’s empty bowl. “Hold on.” He grumbled, and removed a giant bowl from the cupboard, filling it to the top with the entire packet of pet food. There, the damn animal wouldn’t starve. “When did you want to leave? Now?” He wanted it over with.

Dash felt pride in managing to convince Barrel to come along with him, at his first try. He knew that Mel would be proud of him, even if she wouldn’t admit it at first. Even though that deep down he feared never finding her, and if they, she wouldn’t listen to them, but he had to try. Dash concealed his doubts and insecurities with optimism and hope, there was no need for two Debbie Downers. “Sure. Take your time.” He watched him go to his room, and proceeded to send a text message to Tip saying that he’d be gone indefinitely. He saw the cat Mel always mentioned wander and smiled at the little one eyed. “I promise I’ll bring your caretaker back.” He whispered at the cat and hoped that Barrel didn’t listen. Dash watched as he overflown the blow and wondered if that was normal pet caretaking. He nodded “Yes. I was thinking taking the fastest route first.” He said, making his way to the door again. He stopped and looked back at him “Do you have the papers ?” 

A part of him just wanted Dash to admit that it was a pointless idea, gather the papers back and leave, yet he had to admire him for continuing to try. Mel had plenty of close friends, ones that he was sure would be a better person to go with than himself, but Dash didn’t seem to think so. It was clear that Dash was trying his best to convince him, but he just couldn’t take his words as a positive thing. If they were left without a letter, then she’d be seeing them again soon. She clearly didn’t want the same with Barrel. “Look, I know you’re doing your best to try and convince me that it’s worth me going, but she doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. You’ll find her if you really want to.” He turned his back to Dash and leaned against the wall, waiting to hear the door slam shut. Yet he still listened to Dash speaking, and at the last second he spoke. “If I come with you to find her, but I don’t have to see her myself, will you leave me alone?” He wasn’t particularly sure why he was agreeing to it.

He didn’t understand why he was giving up so easily. He didn’t want to just find her, he wasn’t satisfied with that. He knows this girl since she was 12 and Dash knows in his heart that this is different, it feel different. He spent all day reviewing the incidents of the last week and he can’t understand what happened. That was why he turned to Barrel, he too got arrested and she spent the community service with him, maybe he knew something. It hurt Dash to hear him say that “Do you really believe that?” he asked surprised, “Alright, at the very least, take a look at those papers. And give me a call if you changed your mind. I wrote my number on the last page.” As he was about to close the door he heard Barrel speak and couldn’t help but to be slightly excited. “You’ll never hear from me again.” he replied “Thank god you agree, I already packed.”