hi. hello. my name is bianca or bee. black. im a nonbinary lesbian and my pronouns are she/they. 30s. sometimes i make things in photoshop.
letting it be known now that it's been a very long time since i've written anything fic wise so apologize in advance for any mistakes or if the format get's a little messed up a little. also basically any reader/oc that will be written here will be black unless stated otherwise i mainly made this blog and wanted to write because i got a little frustrated at just not seeing, well reading, anything that would appeal to black femme/afab readers and i wanted to try my hand at it --also i have a bunch of ideas/story ideas in my head that i can't get out so im bringing everyone down with me.
rules:
men dni. please don't.
i will not tolerate any racism, anti blackness or misogynoir - i've seen enough of it in the kpop community, and fandom as a whole. seeing any of this and you will be blocked because i'm not dealing with any of it at all - so don't try it.
if you have any requests or want to see me write something in the future please message me! the more detailed the better so i can get a grasp of how i want to write it out. (i write fluff, angst --i really love angst, slow burn etc. but please let me know)
things/who i wontwrite:
men/men readers
incest, age play, rape, pedophilia, some kinks (will add more later)
i won't be writing for any idols/idol groups that are born after 2004 -- i may not even write for idols/idol groups that are born in 2003
who i will write for:
red velvet, blackpink, aespa, twice, le sserrafim (not eunchae. that's a child.), itzy, i-dle, blackswan, katseye (not megan, lara or yoonchae) ,squid game, friendly rivalry, pyramid game, the witcher, queen of tears (because i want to erase kim soo-hyun from existance and i will), sinners, mcu
also disclaimer: every gif/edit on this blog are made by me unless stated otherwise!
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WHY HER, NOT ME? - THE SAGE & SHILOH SHOW EPISODE TITLED: THE SLEEPOVER
when shiloh unexpectedly quit the up-and-coming rock band katseye after they exploded on the scene with a critically acclaimed first album that was followed by a highly successful world tour, it left both fans and critics shocked as to why she would leave at the height of the band's success and popularity. unbeknownst to all, shiloh's contract wasn't renewed after being voted out and replaced by daniela's best friend, manon bannerman, by her band members. for the past two years shiloh has been dark on her public socials until she out of nowhere drops a teaser of her new single along with rumors of her releasing a solo album soon —right around the same time her former band will be dropping their third album. things are going to get interesting, especially when she has to start being around her ex, sophia, and the girl she left her for and was replaced in the band with, manon. fun, huh?
written chapter
WORD COUNT: 4.2k
shiloh spent the morning observing the interactions between yoonchae, megan and her sister with a fondness that she didn't believe she was ever capable of having.
sister— her sister.
the word still rang foreign in her mind due to how she was just simply not used to the word. never had it been in her vocabulary when it came to a biological sense. shiloh's considered yoonchae as a younger sister for so long that she didn't think of actually being one to someone who was related to her via— via them. her parents.
well, via the man who is her father.
the muscle in shiloh's eyebrow twitched just thinking about him and what little sage has mentioned about their father. he's not exactly father of the year when it concerns her as well, and judging from their text exchange earlier, mama isn't winning any awards for mother of the year either because something— something they did—made her baby sister so rattled and upset that she was willing to come visit her much earlier than anticipated. sage must've felt so overwhelmed by them that she had to get away.
i know the feeling, sage— i know it.
i just hope she doesn't become like me in that department and run when things become too much…maybe i can help her not be like me….
but that was a talk for a later date because shiloh has a feeling that the much overdue talk about their parents was somehow going to happen tonight at shiloh's home during their sleepover with her friends after sage meets them.
both of them knew the talk was unavoidable. that it'll happen whether they want it to or not.
a talk that neither was prepared to have— and why would you prepare for such a thing? conversations surrounding your older sister not being around or raised with you and why your parents made no mention of having another child have to be raw. unfiltered.
sage and shiloh needed the talk.
but there was another thing that both sisters knew would happen— no matter how they themselves would work hard to prevent it from ever happening.
what if they want to see me—
not wanting the mood that was filled with laughter and smiles. shiloh shifted her focus to the three younger women that were practically running around the aquarium to look at the many sea creatures in tanks.
megan's currently having a staring contest with one fish while yoonchae watches her with a look of pure adoration.
she wonders if those two will ever admit to their liking of the other— or should she enlist the help of regan and ryujin to push things along just for the hilarity of it all?
and sage— sage has been staring at a family of sea otters with such intensity that shiloh was concerned for a moment, as the girl had not moved an inch at all since she went over to look at them. from her position shiloh saw what caused her sister to stare— her eyes were on the pair of sleeping sea otters, one older and one younger. they were holding hands while sleeping.
sea otters would hold hands while sleeping so they wouldn't drift apart from each other. that's what shiloh remembered a tour guide from this very aquarium saying something akin to that when she had visited with her class during a field trip when she was in elementary school.
when it was time for them to leave, sage walked beside shiloh and held her hand.
she didn't let go until the four of them made it to shiloh's car.
◃───────────▹◃───────────▹◃───────────▹
shiloh's currently trying to figure out whose bright idea it was to invite everyone over to her house just so sage can meet her friends properly. she was going to look at the gc she made with her, regan, megan —hehe rhyming names— ryujin, and yoonchae and see who it is she could blame.
—that's a lie; she's not going to blame them because having it happen at her home was a great idea, especially seeing how peaceful and comfortable sage has been since she entered the home. shiloh saw how she visibly relaxed and knew that it would have been a disservice to have this done at a hotel or even an airbnb. seeing sage so— calm and at ease did something to shiloh's mind.
she's always been a bit protective over yoonchae and that carried over to megan— and lara. but with yoonchae— shiloh sometimes felt like she went overboard in wanting to protect the younger from any of the pain and hurt she's experienced.
shiloh will do the same for sage. she has— she needs to protect her from this feeling of loneliness and pain that has been buried deep within shiloh that even she doesn't know a way to uproot them— they've become a part of her.
sage deserves better. so much better, and shiloh will make sure of it.
but for now— shiloh just observes her little sister fit in with her friends as if she's known them for years, her lips curled up in a smile as she stared at the chaotic friend group shiloh managed to make, eyes filled with a look of pure affection as she watched them all.
shiloh watched her friends. halle watched her.
halle's always been a quiet observer for a long time. she'd noticed things in people and her surroundings while unnoticed and used it to her advantage when it came to getting to know someone for who they truly are just by watching how they engaged with the world around them. she'd done the same with shiloh the very first time she met her; her older sister talked about the other woman constantly with such high regard and respect that she wanted to meet her just by that alone. chloe told her how shiloh helped with some songs on her album and recommended her, as she knew how much trouble halle was having with one particular song that was really working on several of her last nerves. shiloh was invited over to her home studio, and both women ended up talking more about other things than songwriting whenever she came over to help with the songwriting progression of halle's first album.
still— she noticed the sadness that seemed to radiate from her friend even though shiloh had kept it hidden. no one really noticed, but halle did.
halle always noticed.
just like she noticed the very clear tension and unspoken words between shiloh and her former band, katseye. halle saw it all.
saw how lara eyes glistened with tears before she looked away. noticed how daniela looked at everyone but shiloh when introducing herself.
halle especially noticed how sophia and manon didn't know how to stop looking at shiloh. whether they knew it and were in denial about it— everything about those two girls seemed drawn to shiloh and only to shiloh.
sophia had such a terrible time trying to focus on any of the conversation she had with anyone at the table because her eyes would drift to shiloh— like she was being pulled.
and manon that poor girl barely interacted with anyone because she herself couldn't keep her eyes off of shiloh.
shiloh looked at no one. her head had been down the moment after the four women had joined them at the table.
now why was that? she was curious.
she may not have known officially what caused the possible breakdown between them all, and she will never force her friend to ever discuss it with her unless shiloh explictily wanted her to. but there was a sudden rush of protectiveness that came over her for shiloh and she couldn't quite put a finger on why. did her subconscious know something then that she didn't? is that why she felt the need to feel that way in particular?
so halle waited, and observed. when shiloh was ready to speak about it, she will sit and she will listen.
—what they definitely will talk about is that whole hxg contract thing, though. that is a conversation that will happen, and shiloh will not be getting out of that with her at all.
for now she looked on and saw how shiloh had separated herself from the girl to watch them all interact with sage— they had all moved outside while shiloh was inside watching them, and halle got up to go inside, standing next to shiloh and both women looked at everyone getting to know the sister.
they remained silent for a few more minutes before shiloh said, "i didn't quit the band—"
halle nodded.
she had a feeling that's what it was— halle had watched clips and videos of shiloh performing. that girl loved every bit of performing— it was all in the way she moved. her stage presence and aura were unquestionable; she belonged up there.
no one who genuinely loved doing what shiloh did would just leave.
not voluntarily.
but halle said none of that; shiloh didn't need an interruption or any type of reassurance right now. she needed someone to listen.
"my contract as a member of katsye wasn't renewed and i was voted out— i— it. " shiloh stuttered, voice cracking as she fought back the urge to cry.
"now hxg wants me back, and they 'want to discuss the potentials of a career there as a solo artist'. they want to meet with me again in a few days to talk more on it. —i'm considering it." halle new from the way there was no hesitation behind the ending of shiloh words. there was a finality in her tone that she couldn't help but notice. but from the way she saw how shiloh's shoulders straightened— there was more to it.
when shiloh said nothing further, halle chose then to say something, "that company does not deserve you or ryujin— they barely deserve katseye but— loh i want you to know this. when you do go to talk to them again, never immediately agree to anything unless you give them conditions that they need to abide by if they want you. they will probably want you to do things for them to balance it, but make sure they earn that privilege. make them work for it."
halle didn't need to say the quiet part out loud. they both know exactly what it is the company will ask of her to do. shiloh's no idiot— she knows that it will involve her former band.
shiloh looked over at her friend with a watery smile, tears slipping down her cheeks as she nodded her head to show she understood. show that they will have to earn her.
but halle wasn't just talking about the company.
shiloh will pretend for now that her friend was only talking only about hxg.
◃───────────▹◃───────────▹◃───────────▹
shiloh was in her bedroom, sitting in the middle of her bed as her mind tried to settle. everyone had slowly drifted off to sleep one by one by the time they made it to the third prequel movie, and she managed to slip away to go to her room.
her mind has been going back to the conversation she had with halle, to thoughts of sage. she wondered what it was that caused her sister to want to get away from them.
them being their parents.
what could it be that made her want to be away from them so badly?
it was as if she heard her sister's musings as sage had knocked and entered her room. she looked nervous— anxious. shiloh knew from that alone what was about to happen. they were about to talk about their parents.
shiloh patted the empty space on the bed next to her for sage to come sit, but instead was surprised by a request sage had made.
"can we— can we like— face away from each other? with our backs to each other? it's a coping thing that my therapist taught me—"
"sage—" shiloh interrupted her gently. " we can do that. come on."
after a few minutes and a decision to just do this on the floor instead of the bed, where it felt like she was falling over, the sisters were now sitting on the floor in front of the bed, facing away with their backs pressed against each other. shiloh could feel the heaviness that was carried by her sister— and in that moment she hated their parents for whatever it is they've done to her.
sage didn't immediately start with speaking. just sat there with her back pressed against her older sister's while she stared straight ahead at nothing.
shiloh said nothing.
she didn't try to fill the silence with words to break the tension or to try and lighten up the mood; she just sat quietly. waiting. listening.
"they found out" were the only words sage said after minutes of silence. she didn't have to clarify to shiloh who sage was referring to. "growing up i just felt so very lonely. our parents— they didn't let me do anything or go anywhere. i wasn't allowed to have friends over, and i couldn't go over to their places. at home with them— i was just— alone."
shiloh closed her eyes— memories from her own childhood came. the heavy footsteps from her father. the careful footsteps from her mother. how her father kept a close eye on her— how her mother was sometimes too afraid to let even her go past the front yard. so afraid was their mother of not seeing shiloh within her eyesight, but sometimes she'd let her venture out to play with other kids or go to the neighbors' home next door, yoonchae's family, only for her father or mother to come and collect her what felt like seconds later.
she remembered the loneliness— but at the time she only had her mother to turn to for comfort.
"i thought i was being careful with our texts and calls whenever i went back to their house to see them. i— there was something keeping me from telling them that i found you— that i know about you and have been talking to you. like i somewhat knew that them knowing was not something that was a good thing— like i knew it was something they didn't need to know or shouldn't know about."
sage's mind went to the day she found a hidden box in her parents' bedroom— she was looking for some documents that she needed for school, and her mother told her to go into her bedroom to find them. the box has a name on it that she'd never seen, much less heard her parents mention. a box that had the name 'shiloh' on it, and inside were documents, pictures, magazines, and news clippings of a girl who looked very similar to sage but older. in the box was also a camcorder. sage grabbed the box and put something in its spot to give the illusion that there was something still there and went directly to her room.
what sage found that day tilted her entire world over. she had a sister.
an older sister.
and said older sister was someone that sage related to in terms of representation and in general. suddenly everything made sense— how her mother tensed up whenever she heard anything related to katseye was mentioned. how her father would look away whenever they were on the tv— used to believe that it was just him not showing any interest and not caring about a band full of young people. he was looking away in shame.
when sage was a child, her mother used to pick her up and hold her so tightly and her tears were streaming down her face as she held the little girl in her arms close to her with whispered apologies.
it all made perfect sense. why they moved here— why they moved to the neighborhood they now currently reside in. why her mother would spend so much time in her office with what now sage understood was this very box.
they had another child. before her, a child they left.
a child they abandoned.
sage felt disgust and anger come over her quicker than she realized. disgust at her parents.
anger at how they just— why didn't they tell her? why wasn't shiloh with them? why?
how long has it been since they've seen shiloh in person? there were many questions that needed to be known.
sage looked over at everything that was within that box until she saw a number with shiloh's name underneath it— she didn't question how her mother acquired the number, but she didn't care. she took it with her and put the box back exactly where it was.
that familiar fury started to stir within sage again and she had to quickly stuff it down before she let it take over her again.
"they didn't let me know about you for so long— why should i let them know you now?" sage continued. "our parents believed i shouldn't know about you, so why would i do the same? — but now they know and they won't stop hounding me about meeting up with you. that they have a right to meet and know you because 'shiloh's our daughter." she was getting angry all over again at the audacity from them. how dare they want to know someone they haven't cared to reach out to on their own? their mother had shiloh's phone number for who knows how long; she could have easily done what sage had done.
but she didn't. the coward.
sage eyes filled with tears, just like shiloh's had.
"i— i tried to be nice for as long as i could to them. i tried to deter them— telling them in many ways that you weren't ready. ignore their calls and texts, but they just wouldn't stop, and i just— i—" you can hear the control she had to keep herself together slipping. so she turned and moved around to where she could rest her forehead against her sister's back. she was seeking comfort but didn't know how to ask for it without feeling like she was asking for too much from shiloh.
"i lost it. and started yelling at them. i told them to their faces that they were so fucking pathetic. how they probably had years to do what i had done— that i did something they were too damn cowardly to do, and they have the nerve to get angry and try to force themselves into your life without an invite. i asked them how they thought you'd feel when you met me— how you must've questioned, 'why her and not me?' they tried to speak over me, but i just kept yelling, 'you left her! you left her!' and i just couldn't stop saying it. and she slapped me— mama slapped— i hate them. i hate them so much," and sage finally breaks. she couldn't stop the tears from overtaking her and cried.
she cried not for her parents and their self-serving guilt. sage cried for herself— she cried for her older sister who probably had to navigate the world on her own because of their parents' selfishness.
and she cried for them. for not being allowed the chance to grow up together. for not having the long-standing sibling relationship that they should have had from the beginning— there were so many times they needed an older sister for advice, comfort, and to laugh with.
they took that from them. they took everything from them—
sage face was now buried deep in shiloh's shoulder while she continued to sob; her fingers were pressed into shiloh's back because she didn't want her sister to disappear from her grasp. she didn't know how long she sobbed for or when shiloh. sage just needed this to be real.
it'll kill her if this was all a dream.
shiloh was sobbing too, but she didn't care about herself in that moment. she only wanted her to be and feel safe again— she had no business carrying such a burden on her shoulders all because of the cowardly and downright pathetic actions of two grown people who made a series of choices that they now are starting to face the consequences of.
they know there was more to discuss, and shiloh was already thinking of turning the guest room into a permanent one just for sage in case the girl wanted to stay here for however long she needed to. she needed to be away from their parents for a while because the younger never wanted to go back, but she didn't have a choice in the matter as she's financially tied to them.
but they will deal with it now that she had shiloh and the close friends that came with her sister— yoonchae and megan have already formed their own little trio thanks to the trip to the aquarium and the subsequent hours they spent together before the others came along.
sage wasn't alone anymore. she'll never be again. she has a sister.
bonus: the idiots in their natural habitat...terrorizing shiloh.
a/n: short chapter but progress! nothing bad's going to happen :D i promise you all :D
WHY HER, NOT ME? - when shiloh got manipudipped into going to the aquarium
when shiloh unexpectedly quit the up-and-coming rock band katseye after they exploded on the scene with a critically acclaimed first album that was followed by a highly successful world tour, it left both fans and critics shocked as to why she would leave at the height of the band's success and popularity. unbeknownst to all, shiloh's contract wasn't renewed after being voted out and replaced by daniela's best friend, manon bannerman, by her band members. for the past two years shiloh has been dark on her public socials until she out of nowhere drops a teaser of her new single along with rumors of her releasing a solo album soon —right around the same time her former band will be dropping their third album. things are going to get interesting, especially when she has to start being around her ex, sophia, and the girl she left her for and was replaced in the band with, manon. fun, huh?
a/n: im sorry for the wait sdjafmlkdsf i wanted to give them some happiness before i destroy it soon. next chapter is where they all officially meet sage/sleepover
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new girl is playing in the background and it got me thinking about how regan and shiloh argue like schmidt and nick...also like gus and shawn from psych
a year. it has only been a year since karina lost her best friend turn fiance oh jae-in. arranged to be married since they were children, the two would develop genuine feelings for each other and do things their own way much to the annoyance of their grandparents. everything was planned perfectly— but it was ripped away by the sudden death of jae-in. karina has been living on autopilot ever since and has yet to properly grieve and accept that she will never again love anyone in the manner she loved him, she learns that the arrangement between her and his families will continue. but with someone else— that someone being devon jackson, jae-in's half sister, his hidden half sister. a half sister that his mother gave up to stay in america with her father's family. devon herself has her own demons to deal with, and now she's learned about the maternal side of the family, along with having a brother, and now she's engaged to be married to his late fiancee. devon has no idea about chaebol society or how to navigate it, nor does she know how to deal with the fact that her soon-to-be wife looks at devon as if she shouldn't exist. but feelings and love are very complicated— they can also sneak up on you when you least expect them.
TAGS: smau+written chapters, arrange marriage/marriage of convenience, wlw, non!idol au, "she fell first and she fell harder" trope, angst, fluff (lmfao), crack, love triangle (eventually), chaebol au, enemies to lovers (one-sided), slow-burn, strangers to friends (???) to lovers, will tag more as i go
DISCLAIMERS: oc fc is sydney park so yep, mommy AND daddy issues, with a healthy dose of abandonment issues, strong language, suggestive themes, kys jokes, mean!karina, eventual possessive!karina, mentions of alcohol, mentions of violence, feelings of isolation/loneliness, social image, anti blackness, racism, talks of death (mostly about jae-in), dealing with grief and unexpected death of loved ones
PAIRING(s): karina/yu jimin x fem!oc reader
STATUS: coming soon
CAST: aespa, katseye, yeji & ryujin from itzy, minnie from i-dle, jennie from blackpink, kelvin harris jr, miles caton, huh yun-jin, ayo edebiri, jung ho-yeon, lee jae-wook will add more as i go
EXTRA INFO:
DOSSIERS: devon's family & friends | karina's family & friends
PROFILES: guardians of the lone brain cell | the high society | kats + eye = gay
a/n: this has been in my notes, that's a lie notebook…i literally wrote out the plot points, character info out in a one subject notebook, but this has been an idea floating in my head for atleast a year. this one will have very slow updates as im more focused on my katseye smau.
w&a anon here again, glad to have read your intentions right in the way you portrayed manon! i think you made the right choice not having it be yoonchae, it’s so compelling that manon is that figure instead! and woohoo to shiloh’s sister being in the fold now!!
that aside…..YOU WROTE WICKED GAME??? i genuinely couldn’t stop thinking about it after i read it and i had almost been resigned that the author was done with it or smth but it’s such an interesting premise! i even added the song to my spotify after and everytime it came on shuffle and just think about your story like i was waiting for my spouse to come back from war. you have no idea how glad i am to hear that not only has the author NOT given up on the story but that the author is you!
man i totally see it now. the way you approach writing these “antagonist” characters (i don’t see katseye/sodani as true antagonists in either of the stories hence the quotes but the word to describe them is not coming to me), the way you contextualize and build a universe around the mc (shiloh’s circle/manon having her dad, basil and leon on top of yoonchae, megan, lara)…these are the things that draw me to both stories and it makes so much sense to me now that you wrote them both
i really wanted to include shiloh's little sister into the mix of things for a minute now...there's a reason for it but that's going to be revealed much later. and another reason why i chose manon because it's the person who the girls literally they did things for, is practically making them face what they've done while she also continues to come to terms about it along with her complicated feelings.
jdsanfsj YEP THAT'S ME!! the premise of wicked came to my mind because of an offshoot conversation i had with my friend about our oc's and their love lives and i went 'lol this would be a fucked up thing' and then wait '---wait a minute i can mess over someone with this' and then went with sodanon because why not!? DHNFDSNAFJJS THANK YOU VERY MUCH but i've been working on that for the past few hours and i was trying to not make it as long but for some odd reason why it comes to fic writing i cannot get myself to stop writing long as chapters because there's just so much i want to do but i also know when to cut off.
dsjanfsdfm that's one hell of a way to catch and im loving it because i like to build a universe surrounding characters/stories i write/create. i even have another au in mind but for a karina x oc!fem, that was originally for another idol but karina fits more. i do it because i want people to kind of feel what the protagonist is going through and immerse themselves in it even though it's not a x y/n reader. ...i hope that made sense i tend to ramble and then it goes off into unintelligible territory as my brain goes faster that what i type/say.
gonna come out and admit this but i'm the one responsible for this maphinz fic right here called wicked games ...and i owe an update but i got why her not me got stuck in my head so im sorry for those looking for an update but im working on it i promise sdaknmflksf
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when shiloh unexpectedly quit the up-and-coming rock band katseye after they exploded on the scene with a critically acclaimed first album that was followed by a highly successful world tour, it left both fans and critics shocked as to why she would leave at the height of the band's success and popularity. unbeknownst to all, shiloh's contract wasn't renewed after being voted out and replaced by daniela's best friend, manon bannerman, by her band members. for the past two years shiloh has been dark on her public socials until she out of nowhere drops a teaser of her new single along with rumors of her releasing a solo album soon —right around the same time her former band will be dropping their third album. things are going to get interesting, especially when she has to start being around her ex, sophia, and the girl she left her for and was replaced in the band with, manon. fun, huh?
w&a anon here to say i want the last chapter injected into my veinsssss
dani getting what was coming to her is one thing, and i’m glad she’s now awake enough to come to her senses and admit the truth. but i think it really had to be manon to make her face it. imo manon’s responsibility for what happened to shiloh isn’t the same as the rest but she’s still guilty in her own way, so her being the one that megan went to a couple chapters ago to cry about shiloh, and then being the one that’s constantly getting sophia to open up, and now she’s the one that pushed dani to confront the truth about her misplaced anger…whew. it’s like her penance is to be this catalyst for the members to come to terms with the harm they caused shiloh, which is symbolic given she is also part of the catalyst of the infliction of that same harm.
love how things are unfolding!!!
i was waiting for someone to catch what i was doing with manon being the one they go to! it was something I was very close to not doing because I thought it would look weird but then it made more sense the more i was doing the outline for this story as whole because the girls being called out by/talking to the person they basically replaced shiloh with has to be manon like yes i could have made it yoonchae that makes the girl realize it but i thought it would be too cliche if you get what i mean? but yoonchae basically went 'you guys did it so you guys figure it out'
'whew. it’s like her penance is to be this catalyst for the members to come to terms with the harm they caused shiloh, which is symbolic given she is also part of the catalyst of the infliction of that same harm.'
YES THIS THIS IS DEFINITELY WHAT I WAS GOING FOR DSFSJMFLKM
thank you again for the analysis i love reading your thoughts and can't wait to see what you think of what's coming up next in the coming chapters.
Idk if this has already been said but does Shiloh's relationship with the girls resemble 'willing and able' by noah? Because your writing and story is beautiful. 👍
they do! and i would like to thank the willing and able anon who brought it up first and connected the song to them because it fits so perfectly
and thank you very much xjskskshsnsn im glad you guys are loving the story and shiloh!!
I WILL FOLLOW YOU WAY DOWN (WHEREVER YOU MAY GO) - EPISODE FOUR PART ONE
inseparable since the moment they met as children, micah and seulgi have been through everything together —from growing up in an orphanage and dealing with bullies at school to micah having to deal with people in general, and if they could handle all of that, they can practically handle anything after transferring to chaehwa girls’ high school. well, it’s what they thought. enter yoo jaeyi, chaehwa’s most popular student. something shifted between the three girls after their first introduction —it all eventually led to a massive argument between micah and seulgi that ended with her avoiding both seulgi and jaeyi. it’s now their senior year —nothing’s changed between the three, but some things have for micah. one was her making friends during the school break, and the other, well, it started with a package left on her doorstep with items belonging to her late mother —then another days later with things from her late father. now she’s receiving notes, even letters —and they followed wherever micah would go. she has no idea how to tell her friends out of fear of being closely watched. the letters were talking about her parents, seulgi’s late father —and jaeyi’s father, taejoon. micah knows that they’re all connected and knows that she needs the other two girls to understand it all and ask for help – except she has college exams, people, and her growing confusion (denial) over what she thought were long-buried feelings. but micah’s sure everything will be alright. right?
im doing model rendering for my class so anyone want to send me asks or requests for smaus, stories or one shots hit me with them my brain needs a break in between being angry at this dumb program
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when shiloh unexpectedly quit the up-and-coming rock band katseye after they exploded on the scene with a critically acclaimed first album that was followed by a highly successful world tour, it left both fans and critics shocked as to why she would leave at the height of the band's success and popularity. unbeknownst to all, shiloh's contract wasn't renewed after being voted out and replaced by daniela's best friend, manon bannerman, by her band members. for the past two years shiloh has been dark on her public socials until she out of nowhere drops a teaser of her new single along with rumors of her releasing a solo album soon —right around the same time her former band will be dropping their third album. things are going to get interesting, especially when she has to start being around her ex, sophia, and the girl she left her for and was replaced in the band with, manon. fun, huh?
a/n: so-- how we doing? dani's breakdown was inevitable and was just waiting to happen.
idek what to call myself. willing and able anon? idk whatever, that’s who i am lol
9.3k words was such a treat! it was also painful but in all the good ways. my heart raced and my stomach turned as i read every sentence, i felt so immersed in Shiloh’s world and her head and her thoughts and feelings, it was incredible.
1. god dani looking straight past her hurt ME. i just know that eventual confrontation between her and Shiloh is going to hurt even more.
2. sophia going out to sit with her but being unable to really do or say anything. sophia’s regret and guilt came through so well in this chapter. it’s usually hard for me to empathize with a character like hers, that has caused so much emotional damage, but here i really do feel for her.
3. yay for shiloh and megan reconciliation! it’s satisfying to see the one person who was ready to name what they had done to shiloh be the first one she re-established contact with. i also think it’s important that you wrote how megan didn’t immediately apologize because she knew shiloh deserved better than an impulsive apology, and it’s fantastic characterization on your part to make shiloh forego that part of the reunion for now to tease her about yoonchae. i think that really speaks to the dynamics between the two, that it hasn’t just been megan pining and waiting for a way back into shiloh’s life, but shiloh being so good-hearted and forgiving, and still knowing megan after all that time to recognize what the situation called for
idk how much of this makes sense but overall, great chapter! well worth the wait and looking forward to more
OH HI! I WAS WAITING FOR YOUR ANALYSIS IM SO EXCITED TO READ THIS DAFNDSJFN
but imma call you willing and able anon until you want to be called something else and when you do let me know!
oh that confrontation is going to be painful-- very painful. dani and sophia's are going to be the ones that probably going to hurt the most. but in dani's mind if she just doesn't acknowledge shiloh's existence then she doesn't have to face her guilt.
the sophia scene was actually the first scene i planned out before everything in the chapter and one of my favorite scenes, along with megan's and ryujin's, to write out because i got to write out sophia's thoughts and show that just because she says one thing means absolutely nothing because her mind betrayers her all the time and that she knows if she doesnt stay in the denial stage it'll start coming out and that'll just break her and it's also why she stops manon a lot from saying she has blame in it too cause it'll shatter her resolve even more.
megan and yoonchae were -- well are -- shiloh's babies and when things went down she primarily stayed with them until megan started going witht the other girls and manon. and what you said is very spot on! megan learned from her mistakes via yoonchae and her being around yoonchae and doing some reflecting gave her better perspective and it also helps that she felt immediate regret over what happened and actually sat with her guilt and regret instead of ignoring it.
it all made sense don't worry! and thank you! hope you like the newest chapter and hope the next one will be a good one because dani's not happy..at all lmao.