Enigma

Messages got fewer,

Calls almost don’t exist.

It was a sudden move,

Good night cease to exist.

I was left wondering,

What I did wrong.

And then I realize,

Got caught up in the moment,

Said things I shouldn’t have,

Felt things I shouldn’t have.

 Got caught in a trivial discord,

Wished there never was,

Hoping to undo what’s been done.

 And then, you said things I never thought I’d here,

First time that you asked,

I was ecstatic I swear I almost fainted.

 Met you there,

Spent time with you,

I am myself when I am with you,

I could let loose and you won’t mind.

I could snore and you’ll just laugh at me.

Could get drunk,

Have nightmare,

Wake up in the middle of the night.

It hurts me every time I see you laugh because of her,

Hoping it was me, that smile was for.

How you remember the things you did for her,

And enthusiastically tell me things about her.

How you went out with her because she demands for your time.

Took me for a massage,

Something we do when we bond,

Left me on my own,

I was pissed as hell.

Thought you walked out on me,

Turns out you were just waiting.

You began to tease me unstoppable.

I was ready to strangle you.

But turns out,

You have a surprise for me.

What I asked of you on my birthday.

You gave me twice in a row.

Bought our favorite tea,

Bid our goodbyes,

Always looking,

Never finding,

Weird cravings,

I have,

Took me on a walk,

Thought you were teasing me,

Turns out you knew where he was,

The old guy who has what I want.

You were the first to greet me,

Though I thought you were already asleep.

I was shocked and ecstatic.

Lost in my reverie,

Uncertain where I should be,

Like a child unsupervised.

Prepared to drown in sorrow,

For another year,

Even the sky feels for me.

And then you came,

The pizza has gone cold,

But it was satisfying.

You came and granted my wish,

After a lot of teasing,

We found what we were looking for.

Capped it with our favorite drinks,

Late night chat and cuddles,

All I wanted was a bit of affection,

A one liner talk,

Stolen glances,

Be there with you.

 That could last me for days,

Content with where I am,

Enjoying your embraces,

And gentle kisses.

 Got caught off guard,

You quickly made me feel ok,

The way you sway my decisions,

I could never hate you.

 Four glasses later,

I poured my heart out,

Hoping you’ll get my message,

Like a forbidden fruit,

You stood tall and proud,

Enticing me,

Tickled my senses,

Left me wanting for more,

I knew it will bring me misery,

I threw caution in the wind,

Shut my brain out,

And gave in to temptation,

We are something that never was,

Nothing could have prepared me,

And just like that,

My world started to crumble,

Like everything is being taken away from me.

Your affection,

It was slowly fading,

The warmth of your embrace,

The passion in your kisses,

The calmness of your voice,

You were always calm and composed,

Know what to say every time,

Not an ounce of resentment,

No trace that you are mad.

 Until that fateful day,

You said things I never expected,

Left I dumb founded,

Wondering what I did wrong.

 It was all because of the bitch,

Her shameful ways got me tangled up,

Suffered from her wrong doings,

Your moves are always calculated,  

Driven by logic,  

You assess and respond based on your analysis.

Like a knight in a modern era,

You seem so perfect,  

You have a way of pulling me up, 

Every time I have fallen from grace. 

A light at the end of the tunnel,

Days pass by,    

I try to recover from the drought.

I was lost,

I am falling in the depths of hell.

Incomplete,

You were so reluctant to let me go,

Scared that I might leave you,

I gathered myself,

As I rested my nose on your neck,

Inhaled your scent,

As I try to memorize every angle of your face,

The feel of your touch,

And the warmth of your embrace,

You asked for the time,

Told you it was late and we should get going,

Apologized for what happened,

Told me it was ok, and that I was probably drunk,

Told you I was tipsy but I meant what I asked.

Told me that what we had is mutual,

And that thing will always be complicated.

My mind is set that I would let go,

I urged you to sleep and take a rest,

So I could think things through,

You told me not to overthink,

But my mind went into overdrive.

 I don’t know what I was expecting,

But I know that I was disappointed,

Pandora ’s Box was opened,

And my heart was filled with questions.

 You embraced me and told me not to cry,

Told me not to leave and just breathe,

And it worked like magic,

Late night Drive,

Brought drinks for a fine night,

Drinks were poured,

Words were said,

Questions were asked.

 I never heard what I wanted to hear,

And I almost heard my heart breaking,

You said you were unsure how to answer,

Worried on how I would react,

As you look at me intently.

 You hugged me and told me it was ok,

But I know I am not,

I felt everything slipped from my fingers,

It’s as if I was losing you,

Someone I never had to begin with.

 You said you were always thinking about me,

Considering how I would feel about things,

That it’s not safe to say things when you are drunk,

I told you to sleep on it and that I will be leaving,