Welcome to the Darkness World

Sometimes, it is even reassuring. In nights when you dream of losing her, of having to face everything alone. Of failing to notice that she needs help and-

And there. Something you don’t hear often.

Her crying.

That alarms you and you open your eyes, even though you are facing away from her. It’s a noise that twists your guts. Pangs of guilt that can’t be ignored. 

“Why…”

Her voice is rough.

“Raise crows…”

That phrase is what prompts you to sit up as well, worry rising up to your throat. You’ve heard that before, a couple times over. A saying that she picked up from God knows where, now used as a self-flagellation device.

Raise crows and they will peck out your eyes

Last time, you walked into her in the afternoon. She’d thrown out her glasses and kept saying absurd things while pressing on one eye, viciously trying to gouge it out. You had to restrain her and when you did, she just shook her head.

“I stabbed you. Betrayal, it was betrayal, bachi”

You look at her now and she looks at you. Glasses are on, at least. She is hugging her legs, claws digging into them. 

“Bachikin?”

“...” She doesn’t want to lie. She knows that between you two there can be no secrets- that you need to carry your weights together as part of the road of atonement. It’s just… it’s like she’s embarrassed to put it into words.

You approach, scooting over and closer to her.

“You can say anything. I’ll take it seriously.”

She opens her mouth, closes it, hesitates. 

“...I don’t want these, bachi.”

“These?”

She lets go of her legs, moving them a little.

“These. It sucks so bad bachi… I look at them, they feel like things.”

You don’t really understand it. Not wanting… her legs? And before, trying to get rid of her eyes… it puts a pressure on your chest. Deep worry, some confusion-

“Is Sigkin not weirded out, bachi?”

This grounds you back to reality. To her figure. To how vulnerable she’s made herself. 

“...Yeah, a little. But just because I don’t get it, it doesn’t mean I won’t be here for you. We are supposed to be supporting each other now, right?”

You approach, she understands and leans over you before letting her weight into a big hug. 

Frankly, you are in no position to judge her- she’s helped you through enough suicidal ideation for a lifetime, and you two share complexes, scars, kindred pain. 

She can’t look at herself in mirrors without tensing up. You retreat from everyone when a bad mood strikes. All either of you can do is look for one another, repeating the promise to support each other all the way through.

“Anything I can do to help you feel better?”

“Ah, bachi… I don’t know. But… this feeling ends up receding eventually.”

“Right. Then, I’ll stay up with you.”

“You need to sleep though! If your eyebags get any deeper they’ll just be holes in your skull bachi bachi!”

You chuckle, ending the hug.

“You aren’t any better under your glasses and you know it.”

“Ah, shut it!”

And here, she’s getting loud again, that familiar energy you are so used to.

“You know- if somehow you did get rid of your legs, I bet Eclair would want them.”

“Don’t say something so creepy bachi! Even if it’s true. She’s rated most likely to cannibalize others bachi, only behind Arakawa.”

“Nah, Arakawa is just oblivious. She’d just take it like she does sushi.”

“She wouldn’t mind that it’s numa meat, though”

“Yeah. Literally ‘Ah, yes’ about it.”