🔄

Have you ever laid in bed at night? And thought about everything? Wanting to scream and cry but, don’t want to wake anyone. Instead you just sit there and the pain just breaks inside of you.

It’s dangerous loving me, I wanted to say. I swear to you, I wanted to scream it off of the top of my lungs, burning throat and all I wanted to tell you that a person like you who’s gentle and soft and has so much to offer to the world shouldn’t fall in love with a person like me someone who’s full of sadness and self hatred and coldness that not even my own mother was able to make me feel okay and safe in her arms I wanted to whisper it in your ear that baby, i was all tears and heartbreak and that you were better off loving them than someone who couldn’t seem to stop drowning themselves in vodka but oh god i was weak i was so fucking weak because i saw stars in your eyes and the whole fucking galaxy in your smile that i didn’t see i was setting myself up for my own painful heartbreak so here i am, months later thinking about you and all i can say is, you were dangerous too

I want to say that I’m sorry. I don’t know exactly for what, but I am. Genuinely. Because people don’t just leave without a reason