Darkhorse

+ [-) Chamale 6403 points 12 hours ago

My stepdad used to be a baker in an authentic recreation of an 18th century New French fortress. Because they sell bread to the public, the health inspector came by, and she was ripping into my stepdad for violations like the stonework walls, the doorless entranceways, or the lack of a mosquito zapper. He pointed out that they were following the highest standards except for things that would destroy the authenticity of this 18th-century bakery. The health inspector relented and agreed to give him a pass after verifying the food storage area was secure. They went to the shed, which was a doorless building attached to the bakery.

As the health inspector went in, there happened to be an escaped cow licking all of the loaves. My stepdad could only say, “Honestly, this never happens.” They passed the health inspection.

tl;dr: Health inspector witnesses escaped farm animal licking all the bread in a bakery, passes health inspection anyway permalink embed save report give gold reply

- [-] Poem_for_your_sprog 6409 points 10 hours ago

my name is Cow, and wen its nite, or wen the moon is shiyning brite, and all the men haf gon to bed - i stay up late. i lik the bred.

and wen theres crime

or wen I am

sent bak in tiem

where men in powr

harm, kill and rob

i uphold the law

Struck, NYC

Oratio ad Sanctum Michael

Sancte Michael Archangele, defende nos in proelio, contra nequitiam et insidias diaboli esto praesidium. Imperet illi Deus, supplices deprecamur: tuque, Princeps militiae caelestis, Satanam aliosque spiritus malignos, qui ad perditionem animarum pervagantur in mundo, divina virtute in infernum detrude. Amen.

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