a great fondness for flowers

Alexander Akeya (Aayanga) (Siberian Yupik, 1928-2011),

i think this is a really interesting view of this situation, because i've always viewed adam's sexuality as being wound into each aspect of his character arc. but maggie speckles in a generous heap of adam showcasing attraction to men and women in equal turn. i'd actually say she has one of the best bisexuality reps i've read in a long ass time.

so to start, i think maggie had known adam was bisexual from the very start. and i'll go ahead and cite this here:

"He did his best to keep most of his Aglionby life hidden from his father, and he could think of several things about himself and his life that wouldn't please Robert Parrish. The Raven Boys, page 346

so whether we want to say this is particularly a sign Adam is aware of his sexuality I think requires knowledge from BLLB and the fact he keeps a shoebox under his bed of things he wishes to hide from his father. Which just adds to this ambiguity: we, as the reader, don't know what aspects of himself Adam is worried about his father finding out, but I think any kid who grew up with conservative and/or abusive parents can see how this bleeds to several aspects of their life, alongside their sexuality.

i further think adam is blatantly interested in men as of TRB, and this requires me sort of going on a tangent on how Adam's romantic and sexual interest is wound in a sense of envy. he envies blue and her sense of self and ability to form friendships (he calls it a "self confidence" that causes her to form friendships this way) he keeps a photo of a car model in his glovebox (of a car he would like to own, with a man he finds explicitly attractive), he oftentimes positions himself with tremendous sort of envy towards ronan (building three instances of adam experiencing jealousy towards people he is attracted to), he describes gansey as attractive in a manner both blue and ronan (who are attracted to gansey) describe gansey, there are even suggestions he finds declan attractive enough to analyze and borrow flirtation techniques from. which is just me saying, "hey here are instances where we have a foundation of how adam experiences and expresses attraction within the narrative, and how this showcases through both men and women". i'll say i am the sort to go, "hey the curtains can't just be blue" when the curtains are blue, but i credit mstief for her character work over all else, frankly. the details matter.

(more to say on the element of gansey being human creating a complex feeling for adam in a manner which is mirrored through ronan, our explicitly queer character, etc etc)

adam's attraction to ronan is present early in the series, and i could cite a few passages, but frankly "black painted poetry" and adam stealing ronan's phone to call and ask out blue only when ronan goads him, and adam accepting physical contact from ronan he hasn't anyone else prior, that he experiences envy to the grocery store guy who reminds him of ronan, etc etc. it all correlates to these little signs mstief has been hinting adam is attracted to ronan, he just has a lot of other shit going on and he can't really fucking handle his sexuality right now.

In BLLB, upon meeting Colin Greenmantle, he references keeping a magazine cutout of a car model, which is obviously (through use of language surrounding Greenmantle) meant to imply he's been keeping photos of models with cars in places he knows people won't look. there are a lot of signs adam is explicitly attracted to greenmantle in bllb, from being "badly impressed" to showing off and speaking in latin to greenmantle, getting flustered and taking excessive amounts of time to describe greenmantle in contrast to this photo of a model in his glovebox: and there's already implications that adam keeps things in secret places that correlate to his sexuality. (also the "hondayota alone time" mixtape was a jerkoff joke, i don't read this as reading too much into it). but it's important to correlate this with adam actively flirting with ronan before this, and ronan getting irritated the more adam engages with greenmantle in bllb, which further forces us to conclude that he's attracted to greenmantle (it mirrors how ronan prickled and got irritated with blue when she and adam showed romantic interest towards one another, though i acknowleged that ronan had differing reasons for disliking blue and obvious reasons for disliking greenmantle beyond adam).

anyway, moving past this, i think mstief was very intentional with showing not telling adam is bisexual. compare her writing style: she works with insinuation and implication, mstief isn't going to say "this character is gay, this character is bisexual". Ronan is not even explicitly saying he's gay, at no point does Ronan say "i am gay". so it would be one thing if ronan said "i'm gay" and adam never says "i'm bisexual" but because ronan's sexuality is expressed in the implication and contextual, and adam's is also expressed in the implication and contextual, i read it as very intentional.

in regards to whether i like adam's sexuality as its portrayed in the series? i actually love it? whether you think adam recognizes he's interested in men early on ("several things that wouldn't please robert parrish") or he only clicks with it when he kisses ronan (upon kissing ronan "several things click into place"), i think adam's arc with his sexuality correlates with this theme of finding himself, rather? he gatekeeps this information from us early in the series, builds upon it through implication gradually. the more adam finds himself and his sense of self, the more explicit his interest in men is made, with it being more introspective and outright stated as of bllb. by the time we hit trk, adam has established an explicit romantic interest in ronan, and conveniently adam is also more confident in himself than ever at any point. it's not insignificant to me that by the epilogue when adam is explicitly with ronan romantically is also when he comes to his parents house with possibly his strongest sense of self and confidence in who he is and his capabilities. it's not the crux of his character as it is with ronan, but it is significant. as of the dreamer trilogy, adam is openly queer with a whole ass friend group of queer individuals he met in harvard. he waited until he was safe and he knew who he was to express and explore his sexuality. you can't quite separate adam and his sexuality from the context of who he is and his character arc.

but it muddles when you have a book which does not use even the label "gay", because if Ronan and Kavinsky and even Hennessy are not specified as queer, if Henry says he is Henrysexual and it takes five books to use the word queer to describe a friend group, and it still does a tremendous job of doling out representation, i don't actually think we need to specify adam as bisexual. because what i appreciate about adam's sexuality as it's explored in trc is not that adam is bisexual and he gets with a guy (though, yes, that's part of it) but rather that adam's attraction to women is at no point belittled or lessened. he's explicitly attracted to orla and blue and helen at several points in the series, and there is a point in the narration made to accentuate that adam is still seeing blue as someone sexually attractive even if he's actively debating engaging in a relationship with ronan. and i really like this. it's showing, not telling. because telling in this case would feel out of place in the context of how mstief tells queer stories. i'd be angrier if a book came out and adam turned to look at the reader and said, "hi, i'm bisexual" because no one else does that. it's still othering because no one else has to do that to count as entirely queer. it is still setting bisexuality apart.

i appreciate adam getting to retain an explicit attraction to women and later dating a man and not having his interest in women painted as false or as training wheels or having his push towards comphet be used to erase his attraction to women? it's why i adore bluedam so much, it's why it stood out to me, because even if i don't identify as bisexual anymore, it was representation at the time. i don't know, i find it frustrating to consider that adam's representation feels half-assed when his sexuality is being lent so much care and so much dedication towards making sure we as the reader see equal evidence of him consistently into men and women and see equal evidence of him explicitly wanting to date of wanting to be in a dedicated relationship that this motherfucker locks the fuck in and isn't reduced to a fucking stereotype. sorry i need to step away i'm actually getting mad, now.

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