i don’t matter anyway

my ed: ur fat

me watching my friends and family eat high calorie foods so that I know they are eating more than me, cause that gives me some sort of sick satisfaction

chugging 3 litres of water and chewing gum

You don’t need that. Food is something you know you’re not allowed, not now, not yet. There will come a day where you can eat that, but not today. So look but don’t touch, instead touch your thighs and feast on the fat you can feel there. Salivate on the rolls growing around your arms, butter them with the yellow oozing below your flesh that form mountains and rivers, clogged pores and greasy hair. You need to be pure, so feast on your fat and not food.

At the same time I want to disappear