Tinseltown Takedown

GREAT MOMENTS IN ACTING

MICKEY ROURKE THE PLEDGE In an alternate universe, MICKEY ROURKE is in every movie and it’s glorious! Mickey Rourke knows how to make an impression When he was a struggling nobody in 1970’s New York, Rourke was accepted into the esteemed Actor’s Studio on his first audition. Studio co-founder Elia Kazan called it “the best audition in thirty years.” In 1981, after bit parts in two movies…

How To Bring JAWS Back To The Big Screen

AW YEEAH! Check it! Dj Quint’s new groove to make you move ‘Hey Spanish Ladiez!’ drops this Friday. “I’LL BRING THIS FRANCHISE BACK FOR YA…” But it’s not going to be easy. Big flick. It’s not like going back to the well for superheroes and buddy cops. Fans of this franchise get wind of it? They’ll boycott your box office whole. Some social media shaking. Trolls tweeting to tenderize ya. Down…

BEST BAD GUY IN MOVIE HISTORY

BEST BAD GUY IN MOVIE HISTORY If someone were to ask a bunch of movie critics to name the best bad guy in the movies, chances are they’re going to name vile villains such as Anton Chigurh, the “unstoppable evil” with the bad bowl cut from NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN. Or some might say the milk shake coveting Daniel Plainview from THERE WILL BE BLOOD. Still others may insist it’s the STAR WARS baddie…

BEST CINEMATIC PISSING MATCH #7

BEST CINEMATIC PISSING MATCH #7: DJANGO UNCHAINED GET YOUR BEARD ON: Calvin Candie tries smoke in Django’s eyes with an against-the-rules move. Two key components to any male posturing performed before a metaphorical pissing match commences is the Square Off leading to the Stare Down. One modern filmmaker who can be counted on for delivering a good old fashion pissing match its Quentin…

REVEALED: WAS BURT THE FIRST JOKER BEFORE JACK?

JOKEY & THE BANDIT: Some say Joker’s hat and orange shirt are Nicholson’s nod to Burt BURT WOULD’VE MADE OUT LIKE A BANDIT Unless you were at least in your preteen double digits and living in America circa 1977, it’s probably going to be difficult to wrap your mind around just how big of a movie star Burt Reynolds was at the time. When SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT hit theaters that year, Burt’s…

CINEMA’S CREEPIEST COUPLE

SAY HI TO BERT AND DARYL THEY’RE DYING TO MEET YOU GET YOUR CREEP ON: Bert (Kay Tornborg) and Daryl (Ben Frank) seem really nice…and crazy Swinging Pair Are A Hitchhiker’s Nightmare Long before auteur Paul Thomas Anderson was giving audiences a peek past the peckers and poonani of the flourishing porn business to show the dark quicksand within the landscape of the sunny San Fernando Valley…

DEMI MOORE CHARLIE’S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE . She was the highest paid actress in Hollywood history This was the mid 90’s. The check cashed was a cool $!2.5 million for STRIPTEASE, making it the most expensive lao dance in stripper history. Demi Moore was the female actress at this point thanks to the dawn of the decade box office hat trick she scored. Starting with GHOST, the highest grossing…

UNSUNG ONSCREEN DEATHS #4

Randy Quaid: THE LONG RIDERS RANDY QUAID as outlaw Clell Miller (Likes: robbing banks & killing Yanks; Dislikes: squareheads.) It’s a Western often left out when people palaver about their favorite movies from the genre. Maybe it has something to do with how there’s no deep dives delving into the minds of the Riders to provide a tidy “Why?” to their predilection for crime. Truth was the outlaws…

REVEALED: BRAD PITT & CHAD PALOMINO

REVEALED: BRAD PITT & CHAD PALOMINO A post Tarantino 90’s indie with no guns, gangsters, no Mexican standoffs? No shit. Before Brad Pitt was Brad Pitt, he was James Le Gros? Well… sort of. Before Brad Pitt’s abs catapulted him from THELMA & LOUISE to super stardom,  he did a low budget indie movie JOHNNY SUEDE. This was after the chick flick road pic had camera wrapped but still in post…

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN AND IAN ZEIRNG IN DOMINO

BEST MOVIE CAMEO #3 9O21-UH OH: Brian Austin Green & Ian Ziering with Mickey Rourke & Keira Knightley One of the bravest roles an actor can choose to do is to play a skewed & heightened version of him or herself. Usually it’s a small, one scene cameo like Keanu Reeves portraying himself as a pretentious, self satisfied actor in ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE or Anna Farris playing a coked up wackadoo…

REVEALED: The Precise Moment STEVE GUTTENBERG Jumped The Shark

Steve guttenberg was the face of Clean cut comedy… until He did this Look at the bright side: social media and cancel culture vultures were decades away. To get an idea how big of a movie star Steve Guttenberg became after the 1984 release of POLICE ACADEMY, over the following four years he became the busiest actor in Hollywood, starring in no less than nine leading roles, tying with Gene…

Supporting Character Spinoff: BONUS CROSSOVER EDITION

SORRY, BONG NUMBER: Lance & Floyd. Worst. Prank. Call. Ev… wait, uhh…dude, what? FLOYD And LANCE in A TRUE FICTION PULP ROMANCE Two Tarantino characters cut from the same hemp cloth. A dealer and a sloth. The hippy pair with the same goatee and Prince Valiant hair. Groovy dudes who know people on ‘ludes should not drive. Pardon my paraphrasing the Bongfather of the big screen. It seems apropos…

SEQUELS THAT DON’T SUCK: DEATH WISH 2

DEATH BECOMES HIM Yo, Marty! Know who we got here? A drawing of mutherfunkin’ Charlie Bronson.

When talk turns to sequels equal to or arguably better than its predecessor, two titles guaranteed to be popping off the top of noggins are going to be THE GODFATHER PART II and ALIENS. Both movies are undoubtably mint and when it comes to these exclusive Part Twos, no one can argue Coppola…

I’M NOT BUYING IT: PULP FICTION

If BRUCE WILLIS and JOHN TRAVOLTA threw hands back then, who would’ve won?whenever vincent vega takes a bathroom break… shit happens

Ever notice this? It’s true. Check it out. When Vincent is in the bathroom, Marsellus Wallace’s wife almost loses her life. At the diner, Pumpkin and Honey Bunny get their robbery on after Vincent goes to the john. While waiting in Butch’s apartment, our man from…

ReBoot Camp Candidate, TV Edition: COBRA

Script by Sylvester Stallone                 Directed by George P. Cosmatos

It was the 80’s.  Sylvester Stallone reigned supreme with his one-two punch of Rocky IV and Rambo 2. Paramount Pictures handed him the Axel Foley role in Beverly Hills Cop. But when Stallone rewrote their script wholesale, replacing all the comedy with action scenes, Paramount blinked. Stallone went around the corner to…

YOUNG GUNS HAVE MESSAGE FOR COVID-19: Reap The Whirlwind, Virus (Reap It)

BONNEY BUSINESS official Blog of William H. Bonney

“I’ll make ya famous…”

  The coronavirus has put more people in Boot Hill than any outlaw to roam the west.

All you tenderfoot folk need not worry none. To keep this COVID-19 from riding rip shit riot from here to ol’ Mexico, the Regulators are skinning out across the territories to put this virus out of business like we did to that Irish bastard…

The King & The Rebel Prince

  A still-in-the-early-stages-of-his-career Steve McQueen was hell bent on making the jump from day player as bounty hunter Josh Randal on the cowboy show WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE.  He’d turned 30 in the mid of its three season run and was looking to keep his neck loose from the noose awaiting actors his age still toiling in television. 

Sound familiar? It’s because while Quentin Tarantinowas writing…