Dare to Dream BIG

I still think about this day and this place. If you have not yet, visit Glacier National Park, it will literally/figuratively take your breath away. It reminded me on my journey home to never lose the wonder of staying amazed. 

“Sometimes when we are waiting for the life we want, we forget to enjoy the life we already have. It may be incomplete and imperfect!), but it’s still a life. Your life. God’s gift to you.”

In the message of grace is an embedded message of choice. To have received something undeservingly means that it was by the will of the giver to give.

I can’t quite explain it...but to know that someone made a choice and chose to give and not withhold...that’s powerful. 

*just the beginning of a thought* A Christian’s understanding of “brokenness” must include a clear understanding that the goal isn’t just un-brokenness but a relationship with the only One who can mend.  Our brokenness must lead us to the conclusion that we are desperately in need of a NEW object of adoration (Lord) and a NEW solution to the problem (Savior.) If our brokenness continues to point us back to “me” and “I”, we have not delved deep enough. If our brokenness has only led us to return to “my way” and “my how-tos”, we have gone to the wrong healer.  I think for some of us, we are taken deeper into our brokenness to learn these lessons, and for some of us, we are given a bigger glimpse into the vastness of our brokenness. But God never invites us to ignore our brokenness. Ignoring our brokenness and the consequences of it’s pain is sin. 

Thursday May 3rd. This day marks the beginning of leg #3 of this long long journey. 

On the drive to Chicago, I asked God “why” yet once again.

Why this? Why now? Why suffering and pain? 

Although I had seen first-hand God’s sovereign hand over all situations and circumstances, I still sat at this crossroads again where I had the decision to make - to trust or not to trust. Last season was wrestling through the truths embedded in a new perspective that my God defines my circumstances rather than my circumstances define my God. Entering this season, I realized I had to make a few choices in what I believed about who I believed. 

And as I drove trying to keep back to tears (so I could see clearly, duh). I heard the subtle voice of God gently reminding me “I owe you nothing.” Startled, I asked God what he meant and he again repeated, “I owe you nothing. I owe you nothing, but I can do ANYTHING.” I think it was God’s invitation for me to enter into this season of sitting in that tension - God owes me nothing but He can do anything. 

In the last week trying to sift through all that has happened, I was led to reflect on the idea of a mustard seed of faith. 

You see...the Bible talks about having a mustard seed of faith that can move mountains. But where we get it wrong is to believe that our mustard seed is what moves the mountain. If we look with the right perspective at the passage, it says that the mustard seed of faith will cause us to SAY TO THE MOUNTAIN, “‘...move from here to there...’” And as we say to the mountain these words, “it will move.” Our mustard seeds of faith doesn’t DO the moving, it causes us to say (command, call, tell, speak) in confidence that nothing is impossible for our God. What is the result as we learn to live this way?... “nothing will be impossible for you.” 

When I reread this, I realized that this was not meant to make me feel invincible but rather to point my eyes the right direction. The same God who can (and has) moved mountains, will bring us through all seasons rendering even the most impossible situations/circumstances/seasons to be something possible to go through with faith. 

In the loudness of exhaustion, I’ve been finding it so restorative to just sit and listen. Lately, my prayers have been mostly silent because in them, I find comfort knowing that my Shepherd’s presence is all-encompassing.  God, I trust in your ways. I’m not sure there’s any other way to make it through these seasons. 

I had the privilege to attend a conference last week where various medical missionaries gathered together to share stories, struggles, and strategies. At one of the Plenary sessions, the speaker asked the crowd, “on a tombstone, what are the two dates written?”  “Birth-date” and “Date of Death” were answers heard throughout the rather confused group of well-educated people. He looked out to the crowd and then asked his second question. “And between those two dates, what is that?” As everyone became increasingly more confused (but intrigued), he exclaims, “A DASH!!! It’s a dash.”  “Now...does this dash become longer or shorter depending on how many years you live?....NO!”  And then came the challenge...what are we doing in this life that makes that dash meaningful? Doing more/less also does not make that dash thicker/skinnier. Living longer/shorter certainly does not change the dash either. At the end of our lives here on earth, our stories will be represented by one dash on a tombstone.  As the speaker looked into Luke 8:1-3 making note of the 3 women accompanying Jesus as he served, his challenge to us was “do you have a willing spirit?” This challenged followed by a reminder “to not focus on whether or not we are able, but to be one who is available.” 

Absolutely necessary reminder for today: Remember that your next steps may not be your final steps.  Asking the Lord for faith in this season.