this is mine

you know that guy who gets bit by venomous insects on purpose and rates the pain on a numerical scale?

#also i love describing Justin Orvel Schmidt as 'that guy' as if he's not a well respected entomologist and author#bc he is. but he also happens to be that venomous bug bite guy#well. one of them. it is a growing field#another good vampire post#the christian cross and the pagan pentagram are equally effective#the eye of horus has a surprisingly strong bite given that it should be expired by now#the symbol of mjölnir invokes a migraine AND ear ringing that lasts for days#the star of david cremates the scientist instantly on the spot#her ashes have to be shoved in a jar and sprinkled w/ blood so she can reshape overnight#a discovery which is going to make yom kippur at her grandma's house VERY awkward this year#come to think of it menorahs are also objects you light on fire so it gets double damage points probably#...on a scale of humorous blasphemy (good) to culturally insensitive (bad) where would the concept of a Vampire Hunting Rabbi fall?#i mean all these catholic priests are already clogging the market why not add some religious diversity#....Vampire Hunting Squad composed of a priest a rabbi an imam a bhikkhu and a pujari#it's a Ghostbusters type situation where the whole squad gets called in whenever a vampire's religious affiliation is unknown#a vampire has the right to be/can only be vanquished by a clergy member of their specific religion...#...so a diverse group of religious leaders has to be kept on call to treat vampiric infestations#they run a side business is demonic de-possession bc you never know which ancient language of scripture a demon can actually speak#no point yelling at someone to get the fuck out in latin if they can't fucking understand latin