.fallingforyou

So basically we said goodbye after that lunch on Friday and I thought that was it, that i wouldn’t hear from him at least for a while.. But then that very night he sends me an audio message in which he tells me that he had gone out for drinks with P and they discussed this thing that happened involving me. 

**FLASHBACK TO THE THING**

So in late August i started talking through Tinder with this guy but we ended up never going out and stopped talking for no particular reason, which wasn’t an odd thing with people met through a dating app. But then one day in October i was going through Fuckboi’s pictures on Facebook and who do I see in most of his group pics? Tinder guy!! Turns out, he’s one of F’s very good friends!!!! So I connect the dots and realize that I had mentioned to Tinder guy where i was working so I thought FOR SURE he told Fuckboi, which was no good bc he’d always make fun of dating apps saying that people that use them are desperate or whores and so on. So i start thinking that maybe Fuckboi only started showing interest in me in September bc he found out that I was on tinder, thereby making me a slut who’d be down for whatever, yk? 

By that point it was all supposition. Then the Halloween incident happened. That night Fuckboi was wasted/high at a party and he sent me a bunch of drunken audio messages to tell me to go over (which for once i didn’t yay good decision making) where you could hear in the background someone yelling though laughter “ask her if she likes Lost”, which is the one thing that me and Tinder guy bonded over in the beginning. So, not good. 

And in order to let you know how dramatic this realization was for me, picture me, driving my car on November 2nd, narrating all the shit happened with F to my girlfriend. Then her asking me if we could hear one of these drunken audio messages bc they were actually kinda funny if you dont think about the context. Me agreeing to it, and since my phone was connected with the car, picture us hearing his stupid voice at a very high volume all around us and all of a sudden a random voice mentioning Lost. The one thing I had talked about with Tinder guy. I had to pull over bc I was having an anxiety attack :))))  

Uh btw on Halloween night I went out with a bunch of friends and there was this one girl that was an intern in the office where F works and she casually told me how F used with her the same techniques he used to get to me, like opening up about his tragic life, showing he was more than a Fuckboi etc. She said she didn’t fall for it and told me that at the end of the day she thought he wasn’t all that bad, bc the reality was that he had always been clear about what he was interested in. So that left me a bit…shaken? The next day I cried all day :))))

**END OF FLASHBACK, BACK TO LAST FRIDAY*

So in the audio he’s like “P came after me telling me she doesn’t believe that i didn’t know anything about my friend and youu, but i sWEAR i didn’t! why would i caRE!” - to which, i mean, he does in fact not care about me so I believed him straight away, but i texted my friend P to understand her point of view on the thing.

[[  Oh yeah he knew that i knew about him knowing about me and Tinder guy bc a couple of weeks ago, on a “date” which should have been the last time we’d see each other (spoiler, it was not), I finally managed to confront him on THE WHOLE THING, including me crushing on him for mONTHS to which he said he had no idea and was flattered, to which i answered that i *was* into him up until i had the chance to know him a little better and realize he was a just a douchebag and that my crush on him vanished (first half of the sentence true, second half not so much. okay not at all)  ]]

So my friend P sends me an audio where she tells me that they had indeed talked about me and Tinder Guy, but in the context of her being iffy to join the app bc she might come across some of Fuckboi’s friends, and she’d rather not. Then they talked about relationships and F was probably being a total pain about him not being able to find the right one and whatnot and P told him that he’s just a egomaniac piece of trash bc he’s had a good girl right in front of him for moNTHS and he’d never done anything about it (she knows everything but he doesn’t know that she knows, or at least not with certainty). To which he had the most Fuckboi reaction. He was like “who?” (did I mention that P ships us? and that he’s an asshole bc jfc i was the only one who fit description). 

After she revealed me as the mysterious perfect match for him, he said that he’d never tried anything with me because -get this- he knew that i was going to leave the city soon so he didn’t want to risk building something that was destined not to go anywhere. LIKE, ????? STOP. AS IF. I obviously don’t believe any of this, but the nerve to say all this bullshit to my friend only not to appear as the piece of trash that he is? he’s trash. 

After the random meeting on Wednesday night, against the recommendations of my friends that all agree i should erase him from my life and stop seeing/talking/texting him, I.... texted him like “haha had i known that we’d meet tonight, I could’ve asked you for a lift home” (which references to the fact that each time we’d go out with our friends who don’t know about our “special friendship” -bc he didnt want anyone to know- he’d offer to take me home to get some time alone) 

So we started texting and he ends the convo with “i’ll let ya know about tomorrow”, meaning that he *still* could’ve come to mine to “say bye one last time” the following night. 

The next day I don’t hear from him all day until 11pm when he texts me that he’s super tired after training so he wouldn’t make it - making this the third time he stood me up this week - and asks if I’d come to have lunch with him and our colleagues the next day, which was yesterday, and I’m like “idk we’ll see” and he sends me all these emoji hearts and begs me to go and im like ....okay. 

I would’ve gone anyway to say bye to my other colleagues (last night i officially left the city and moved back home), but once again it felt like I had agreed with what he wanted whICH SUCKS. I hate that he thinks he’s always in control jfc.

So yesterday I went to this lunch. It was weird for me. He was his usual cocky self, talking a lot, making fun of everything, very vulgar and arrogant. That’s him in a social environment in a nutshell. He’s a leo. I’m usually quite talkative too in this sort of situations, especially bc I’m good friends with the other 4 colleagues, but I ended up barely saying a word throughout the lunch. I had so much shit in my head, between moving houses, my graduating, him being a piece of shit to me for all this time and me still being so blindly into him. I’m a gemini.

I had a plan to put him on the spot and try to expose his being a piece of shit: i knew someone would’ve asked me about my transfer back home (not him bc he never asks personal questions, he's just not interested) So I would’ve referenced to something specific about my bedroom that only those who’ve been there would know, and he’s dumb so I knew he would say something about it and THAT would’ve proven that he’s been in my bedroom, therefore exposing him as the Fuckboi that he is. But before i could get to my plan he accidentally exposed himself. 

He asked me if knew who would take my room after I left and I said that it’s a good girl, i wouldn’t want for her to meet him bc he’s trash and she’s nice (the one thing that im happy about is that after many months i’m now able to tell him to his face that he’s trash, an asshole, not a good person but im pretty sure he’s used to be called much worse so it doesn’t bother him). and he went “you dont need to tell me anything, love, I can just go to your place to meet her” !!thereby exposing in front of everyone that he had been to my place!! and when he realized the mistake he immediately added “bc we ALL know where you live”.. yeah right. 

[[ Btw of the 4 colleagues we were with: M and P know all about me and Fuckboi (they’re my girlfriends, M hates him guts and P thinks he’s an asshole but he can still be saved); A knows only about our very first makeout -i was still working in the office back then and it was weeeeird af spending 9 hours a day with Fuckboi pretending nothing happened -; and the other one, G, knows nothing bc she’s the one that replaced me in the office but im pretty sure she suspects a bit, also bc P and A are kinda hardcore me+Fuckboi shippers? yep they both think I can fix him kinda.. it’s a long story ]]

So yeah the lunch’s been okayish, he was friendly to me as usual, said bye with the two kisses on the cheeks (the italian way) and drifted off into the sunset, meaning he went back to work and I went home with the itchy feeling that I won’t see him again in quite some time.

----And tHEN last night I get an audio message from hIM and I’m like WTF. In it, he references to a convo he’s just had with P about mE???