Danny S. Sharpe

“Can’t stop me.

“Can’t I? What makes you unstoppable?” 

“I’m not staring…at all. If anything you must have been staring at me.”

“Why would I stare at you? You’re not even hot.”

“I should get you a crown or something.”

"You should make me an ice crown. That'd be rad."

“Maybe I just like the view.”

“You better like it. I am your queen after all.” 

        the fog cleared away. peter BLINKED ( more than he should’ve ) before getting comfortable in this NEW environment. the fog PRESENTED a man who didn’t seem to be phased by a SPACE SHIP landing on HIS FRONT PORCH. a brow arched at the mention of a topic he CLEARLY hadn’t heard of before. he elected to ignore it. ( on a ship with ROCKET RACCOON you’re ridiculed on your INTELLECT enough ).  

                                     ❝ i’ll try to pay for that, somehow. ❞

        no, he wouldn’t. peter would MOST LIKELY hold the nova corps responsible for it. UNLESS, the male accepted payment in seventy’s records and CHEAP comic books. 

     the CRASH LANDING caused a stir. it wasn’t every day you’d watch a orange && blue SPACE SHIP speed down from the sky. peter stumbled out of the smoking ship, mumbling profanities under his breath – fuck, fuck. the terran grass molded into the shape of his buckled boots. the air wasn’t the CLEANEST but he didn’t see a reason to activate his helmet. peter’s eyes adjusted to the setting of the MYSTERY planet. until he realized that this planet wasn’t as MYSTERIOUS as he thought. 

                                            ❝ what the FUCK. ❞

Danny stepped outside after hearing the big bang. He watched the scene unfold from his porch, hoping it’d be some weird ass alien but he was surprised when a regular man walked out of the shadowy fog instead. “Damn it, I thought it was going to be one of those Aliens from the Simpsons.”

“Hey hey I’m not some little internet fad you can go and tweet all about. I’m a real boy!”

“All the guys I tweet about are real boys. That’s what makes it fun. What do I get if I don’t tweet?” 

“You know it’s called knocking. You should try it sometime.”

“What do you have against shirts, Olaf? This is the second time I see you without one. I'm starting to think you're trying to seduce me Anyway, I’m tweeting this..”

“The beach, the mountains, the forest. I pretty much love just being outside.  And dude I’m totally down for being dubbed Olaf. But hmmm… does this make you Elsa?”

“Are you gonna start singing In Summer? I do love the cold, but if I'm Elsa then that makes me your maker, so I own you.” 

“Trust me, might not look it but you can have a ton of fun on the little waves here in New York!”

"So what, you like the beach, lil’ snowman? I’m gonna call you Olaf, then.” 

“They do not! They’re too busy plotting out evil schemes and figuring out ways to idiotically tell them to me, like in all cartoons ever. And I am not sexually frustrated! My type? I’m not really sure…but I once took a BuzzFeed quiz on which character from Friends I should date and I got Joey, but I was also really hungry at the time so most of my answers were food related.”

“Does that really happen? God, you must have the shittiest super villains. You should find better ones. You’re only as good as your enemy. You’re so sexually frustrated that you don’t even realize how sexually frustrated you are. Of course you'd be a Joey girl. I’m definitely a Mike guy.”

Okay, so is anyone a python expert? I was visiting the zoo and may or may not have let one get out. We’ll know it soon enough.

I'm very experienced with snakes but that's not one of them, I'm sorry, But how did that even happen? Are you Harry Potter? 

“What! Um, no! No way! I just don’t have time for that right now. I couldn’t, I can’t!”

 “Do you think the bad guys are sexually frustrated? No, they're not because they're in their super villain lairs having super villain orgies with their super villain friends. They all have a clear mind and if you want to have a shot against them then you need to get it on. So, what’s your type?”