Rebel Without A Cause

Hands falling comfortably on Dani’s hips, Santana pulled her close until their bodies were pressed snuggly, the woman’s pregnant belly craddled in between them cozily. “Oh, come on,” She chuckled, chasing Dani’s lips again and stealing another kiss. “Why wait, when I can take good care of you right now. Pretty sure your girl won’t mind.”

“You drive a hard bargain...” Dani trailed off, letting her lips linger against Santana’s before pressing them together gently again. After a beat she pulled back, taking her girlfriend’s hand and turning to head out of the room. She stopped short, though, pausing to admire the work they had done already on the soon-to-be nursery. The room was a muted yellow color with a surprisingly large window that only added to the overall warmth of the room. 

A month.

It had taken them a whole month to finally settle into their new place, and Santana was over the moon. The commute to school and work was longer, but for the first time in years, she woke up every morning happy to have to make the drive. Every little detail, every single sacrifice was worth it the moment they decided to start putting the nursery together.

She had been scared to bring it up with Dani, but that was the main reason for picking the apartment she did. It had a second room, a smaller one, that she could just picture as a nursery, and now that they were in the process of decorating, she was barely able to contain her excitement.

Chuckling, she put her paint roller down too, albeit a little more gently, and wiped her hands on a cleaning rag before facing her very pregnant girlfriend. “Is it now? And does that include a massage from your hot girlfriend?”

It was with a dopey grin on her face that Dani made her way across the room to where Santana was, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. “It just might,” she agreed, nudging her nose playfully against the other woman’s. “I should probably give her a call to see if she can come over to give me one,” she joked.

She had done as much as she could to do as little as she could when it came to the actual moving part. Although, it wasn’t entirely by choice. Her girlfriend would barely let her lift a pillow, let alone carry a few of the lighter boxes to the truck as they moved at the beginning of the week. 

Finally, they had managed to settle in, for the most part, and were now in the process of planning for the nursery. This was something Dani had never seen being something to happen in her life, but as the days passed and the due date got closer and closer, she felt...excited, almost. She was nervous, as most young, first-time mothers were, but it was a challenge that she was genuinely starting to be okay with overcoming. 

“Okay,” Dani started, tossing the paint roller to the plastic-covered ground, “time for my scheduled twelve-hour break, boss.” 

Unable to keep her own emotions at bay, Santana scrambled to get on the couch, squeezing between the arm of the couch and Dani’s back to hold her tightly, eyes misted over. “Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say that again.” She said fiercely, blinking back tears as she pressed her lips to Dani’s hair. “This,” Santana started again, pressing a trembling hand to the tiny bump and choking back a sob, “will never be a burden. It’s a blessing, one I never thought I would experience, but more than that, you’re the biggest blessing I could’ve ever imagined, and there’s nothing, nothing I wouldn’t do for you and our child.”

ooc: Maybe~ (my partner THRIVES on angst) (sidenote: this is actually a LOT happier than what we had originally planned)

Santana hadn’t expected Dani to immediately agree, but it still exasperated her. It was clear something had to be done, she wasn’t about to risk her girlfriend falling into depression. “Dan, my priorities lay were they should. You are far more important than anything else, so don’t give me that bullshit.” She chided firmly, but not unkindly. She was becoming more worried by the day, to the point she had discussed a possible move with her parents already. “Please, Dan. I see you wasting away and I won’t allow it. I’ll do anything, anything, to help make it better. Let me do something for you, for us.”

The fact that Dani couldn’t even say it out loud stung. It felt like a kick to the chest, but all Santana did was try and dispel the horrible feeling by taking a deep breath and clearing het throat. She couldn’t blame Dani. Not at all.

“Well, I know it ain’t a permanent of fool proof solution, but we could move, and before you say anything,” She said, lifting a hand to stop any possible refutal of her logic. “We don’t own this place, the lease is month by month, so we can end it at any time. At least moving to the opposite corner of the city would give us a little more privacy. You can go out, at least to the damn grocery store or just talk a walk, I can make sure nobody we know lives anywhere nearby.” It was a long shot, not completely secure, as she had said, but it was better than letting Dani waste away.

The option was tempting, that much she could admit. She knew that even a few more weeks of this and she would have officially lost her mind. But that would put a strain on Santana’s day-to-day life, which, at this point, was far more important than her own. She was working and going to school, and to uproot her life like that would be unfair. 

“You can’t just become a recluse for the next year, Dan.” Santana chided gently, eyeing Dani’s hand where it rested on the barely discernible bump. The sight alone made her anxious, she had yet to dare touching the small bump herself, still both terrified and exhilarated at the meaning of it all.

Dani was having a baby, Santana’s baby, and the thought still made her tear up, but she didn’t know how to express her yearning to physically feel that connection.

Clearing her throat, she came back to the conversation at hand, forcing herself to tear her eyes away and look instead into her girlfriend’s own. “I have no fucking idea how to even go about it, but you gotta step outside and do something or you’ll lose your mind before you even give birth.”

“I also can’t risk anyone seeing...this, Santana.” She knew that Santana was right, to some extent, but the fear kept Dani from pushing herself to leave. It was safe here. She didn’t have to worry about accidentally running into anyone she knew and having to explain. 

She couldn’t explain it. 

“I’m fine, just a little restless.” The older of the two reassured, reading the concern and scepticism in Dani’s eyes. After so many years involved in each other’s lives in one way or another, they now could read each other well enough to pick up on the small details. Like Santana knowing Dani was going to go crazy if they didn’t found something to keep her entertained and feeling useful.

Giving up with a chuckle, Santana didn’t fight Dani’s hold, and instead simply sunk to her knees on the floor, leaning against the couch. “Is there anything I can do to chnage your status to something more cheery?”

The words weren’t entirely reassuring because, being as restless as she was herself right now, all she wanted to do was pry further - find out what she could do to help - but she refrained, just barely. Instead, Dani simply nodded meekly in response, offering her a small smile before the woman sank down to her knees on the floor in front of her. 

“Eh, partially served its purpose, I guess.” She said with a shrug, chugging the water and rinsing her glass before moving towards the living room. Smiling softly, she leaned down to peck Dani’s lips lightly. “I need a shower. Badly. But I needed a kiss more.” Santana Lopez was a softie at heart for her girlfriend, proudly so. “How are you feeling?”

“Partially?” she queried, looking back over at her girlfriend inquisitively. She knew there was emotional stuff going on with Santana that she wasn’t fully in the know about, simply because the woman was doing what she could to let Dani be the center of attention when it came to emotions, for the time being. and, to some extent, Dani was appreciative of that. But she didn’t want things to build up inside of Santana the way she was certain they were.

Sweaty and slightly out of breath, Santana leaned against the wall of the apartment building. The need to burn up some of the restless energy that had been plaguing her lately had driven the brunette to go for a run, but even with her legs and lungs burning, it wasn’t quite enough. It would do the trick until she could find something else, at least.

Five minutes later, sweaty but no longer panting, she was closing the door behind her, calling out a greeting to her girlfriend as she went for a glass of water. “Dan, I’m back!”

Without school to keep her busy or even being able to leave the apartment much, at this point, it went without saying that she had begun to go stir crazy. She had been quite limited to what she could do, and rewatching Keeping Up With the Kardashians was starting to get old. 

She could tell Santana was feeling the same way, despite being able to get out of it most days. Dani was a big enough person to admit that she was a bit jealous and possibly a bit peeved that Santana did have that slight bit of freedom over her, but she still loved her. And she knew that there was just as much stress on her as there was on herself - if not more so. 

So, when the woman mentioned going out for a run, Dani wasn’t the least bit surprised. 3 months in and she could understand the need to escape her clutches, if only for a little while. Okay, maybe she wasn’t that hormonal yet, but she couldn’t imagine her stir crazy self was much fun to be around. 

Course I am, and you’re the lucky one with bragging rights for managing to bag all of this. No, but seriously, if anyone’s bothering you too much, tell me and I’ll have words with them. Politely, I promise.

How do you go from obnoxious to charming in no time flat? But don’t worry about me, okay? I promise it’s not getting out of hand. I’m mostly just ignoring the world right now, anyway.

Baby, you just hit the jackpot. Everyone might know that I’ve been tamed, but I’ll be damned if I can’t still scare away a bitch or twenty.

You sure are quite the catch, aren’t you?

Well… on a scale from one to ten, how much would it surprise you that I kinda blocked all incoming messages in all my social media accounts as soon as you decided to take the year off?

Given that there are no options that go into the negatives, I’ll have to go with one. But, even still, you’re still in school with them every day. How have they not cornered you yet? Other than using your resting bitch face to scare them off, of course.

What did you expect, Lima is a tiny ass town and people are thirsty for anything to talk about besides their crops and cows.

It’s mostly people that we go to school with now, since I pretty well went and blocked most of the people from our not-so-glory days. I’m surprised you haven’t been completely bombarded. Maybe they think I left you while I was at it. The irony of that is actually kind of perfect.