coffee break

Her upper lip twitched when Emily asked if she wanted to leave the wedding and go have food – her treat. This was something that, in the past, Emily may not have offered to her or anyone, for that matter. Alison may have been the one to ask, if anyone at all, and they probably would have made an appearance at the reception, Emily suffering alongside Spencer, Hanna, and Aria, while Alison watched from afar and maybe convinced someone to go home with her. That was what weddings were for, weren’t they?

The smile, however prominent, faded from her face as she remembered that Emily’s father had passed some time before they all decided to go their separate ways and leave Rosewood. Before now, it had been the last time that Alison touched Emily, her hand growing stiff from holding the other girl’s in her own, praying that Emily wouldn’t ever let go. She did, however which was fine – Alison knew that they couldn’t stay glued palm-to-palm forever. When the service was over, Alison grabbed Emily by the shoulders, looked into her eyes, and told her, “We will fix this.”

They’d spoken no more than an hour total since then. She felt like a fraud, even more so than when she returned from the faux dead and even more than when she found out she’d had a brother named Charlie who was a bit older than Jason. Emily did these kinds of things to her. She made Alison feel.

                     ❝ Okay, I’ll go – but only if I’m allowed to buy you a drink after. ❞

The blonde took Emily’s hand and they were out the door in no time at all. Though she knew that no one would see her and Emily leave, Alison still looked around, making sure that they were invisible. She didn’t want anyone to see Emily with her, not unless Emily was okay with that. From what went on at the ceremony, it seemed like her secret would have to stay with Alison.

The church was, thankfully, close to numerous small places for them to eat. Alison didn’t want to go to The Brew incase Ezra still owned it and one of his many minions told him they saw the Alison DiLaurentis there… So she chose the next best thing: a small Italian restaurant on the corner of the street.

In no time at all, Alison was sitting across from Emily, her menu propped open in front of her. It was easy to get distracted by having Emily Fields in front of her, the dim lights making the tanned girl’s skin seem to glow, but Alison already knew what she wanted to order. The real thing here was that she got to know Emily again, even if it was just for these next few days she was in town.

                        ❝ So, the National Guard… I agree with your mom, your dad would be ecstatic. How do you like it? Do you have many years left? Have you met any interesting people in there? Are you staying safe? Because I watched a documentary about the army and sexual assault and – ❞

Thankfully, the waiter came and cut her rambling off. Why did she bring up a topic like that? Her stomach churned as she realized that she was probably nervous. Of course she was, it was such a weak but human thing to be. She nodded as the waiter poured her a glass of red wine and then turned to Emily, asking if she wanted red or white. When he left, giving Emily the preferred beverage before doing so, Alison spoke once more.

                       ❝ How is your mom, by the way? Is she still in Rosewood? ❞

                    the stipulation to getting alison to go was allowing her to buy her a drink after and emily had no problem with that whatsoever. the trip there was a short one. she made sure to shoot hanna a text and let her know where she was going so no one would worry. and if hanna decided to tell the other girls then so be it; after all, she wasn’t doing anything she was ashamed of in the least. the way she’d behaved at the actual wedding had been ridiculous, cowering in the shadow of the other girls while they all decided to pretend one of their childhood friends didn’t exist. she was her own person, not some mindless follower.

                    once inside she sat in the seat across from alison and once they were settled in her lips twitched up into a smile at the barrage of questions she was being asked. alison was silenced when the waiter came over to offer them a glass of wine, to which they both accepted. red wine had always been emily’s favorite. once the man was gone alison asked another question before she decided to let emily have the floor. she could barely remember all of the questions she’d asked before but she’d try to answer all of them. after all, there were plenty of things she wanted to ask alison as well. there was so much about her life she didn’t know. too much.

               ❛ my mom isn’t in rosewood, actually. right now she’s back in michigan. she grew up there and i think it just makes her feel a little better to be back in her hometown. i offered to let her move in with me but she is who she is and decided that would ‘hold me back’ or something like that. honestly i think she just didn’t want to live in portland. ❜

                    emily gave a small shrug and took a sip of her wine while she racked her brain over the other questions alison had asked her. she opened her mouth to answer when the waiter came back to take their orders. when she was finished with hers--a soup and salad--she focused her attention on alison, as did the waiter. while she ordered emily simply watched her. she took in the loose blonde waves that cascaded over her shoulders and the lines of her neck and jaw, and her eyes wandered to the curves of her lips just as the waiter finished up. her focus was pulled back up to alison’s eyes and she flashed an almost sheepish smile.

                                 “since we got…..                     since it happened.                             have you been, you know                                      ——— sleeping.”

            “if that’s okay…                      ——— em, can i ask                              you something?”

❛ i’m not that delusional, em. i can’t even be in my bedroom anymore, okay. the girl DESERVES to hit someone with an umbrella. but maybe instead of having just a roomie she should talk to someone? ❜

veilled wegother starkbcstard dangerouswhenwet nobodyisbatman

“i can go if you want me to…”

She couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her lips when Emily’s hand found her own. Alison didn’t pull away. Instead, she relaxed her hand a bit, as if this would increase the surface area ratio of the skin on Emily’s hand to the skin on her own. The simplest of touches, especially when they came from the tan-skinned girl beside her, temporarily caused paralysis within Alison. The blonde sat up a bit taller and shrugged a shoulder, sizing Emily up while trying to keep herself distant.

                               ❝ I guess I can start to forgive you.                                                                        ——- i mean,                                          Spencer acted as if we don’t see                                          each  other  on  major  holidays                                          so if anyone’s on my list, it’s her.  ❞

With a swift roll of her eyes, Alison turned her body inward to look at Emily. Though the brunette was staring earnestly at her, the blonde could do nothing more than give her a feeble smile back. She looked good, from what Alison could gather, and toned as ever. She only knew what Spencer mentioned at Christmas and Easter and other birthday celebrations: Emily was in the military, just like her dad, and she was still as kind as she’d ever been. That was it. That was all Alison knew.

                                    ❝ Besides, we both know that it goes                                        both ways. I could have called you. ❞

Removing her hand from beneath Emily’s, Alison pushed a lock of her long blonde hair out of her face and behind her ear. Exhaling, she tried to relax her body; she was so tense. Though she knew it most likely had something to do with being back in this town among literally everyone that used to hate her, she couldn’t help but wonder if being in the presence of this literal GODDESS beside her had something to do with it as well.

                                                      ❝ So, Em,                                      how have you been?                                      Five years… I feel like                                      I’ve missed so much.  ❞

                    emily was a little surprised to hear that spencer and alison had kept in touch pretty actively throughout the years. she couldn’t help but wonder what exactly had kept the two of THEM from keeping in touch, other than her own obsession with shaking off (almost) all things rosewood. either way they seemed to have been handed a chance at correcting the loss of contact, and emily for one wasn’t going to throw it away. alison’s hand slipped away from hers and she moved hers back into her lap and she leaned back against the wooden pew.

               ❛ five years... that seems so weird to think about doesn’t it? there were days i used to feel like i would literally never get out of rosewood. you have missed a lot, but so have i. -- how many people do you think we’d piss off if we went to get food instead of going to the reception? ❜

                    it wasn’t exactly what would be counted as ‘polite’ in everyone else’s eyes but she wasn’t in the mood for a crowd of faces from her past, and she was very interested to hear what alison had been doing for the past five years. having made her mind up she stood up and looked down at the blue-eyed woman sitting in front of her. she extended her hand to ali, palm facing the ceiling, and she offered her a small smile.

               ❛ c’mon, i’m buying. and i’ll give you one before we go. i joined the national guard, and i’ve actually been doing really well. mom’s constantly telling me how proud dad would be. ❜

“look i get that sara literally just crawled out of A’s dollhouse but doesn’t she seem a little weird to you? i mean she’s already done a britney and shaved off her hair.”

If asked, Alison wouldn’t admit that she was a bit put off by the way that her ‘friends’ from childhood seemed to blatantly ignore her when they saw her at the ceremony. Instead, she would simply shrug and say that, considering it was a wedding, there wasn’t much time for talking and she hardly even noticed it. But now, as Emily Fields’ voice rang through her body and sent a case of chills down her spine, it took all Alison had in her to keep her gaze facing the front of the room. She wanted to appear nonchalant; it had been quite some time since Alison had seen her in the flesh, let alone heard her voice – or had any kind of communication with Emily at all.

Recomposing herself on the bench beneath her, Alison smoothed her light pink skirt once again as she heard the clicking of Emily’s heels on the floor. Finally, Alison turned to look back and Emily came into view. A weight dropped in the pit of her stomach as her eyes moved quickly once – and then twice – over Emily, memorizing the curves of her eyes and lips after having forgotten the details after so many years. A small smile appeared on her lips when she realized Emily’s hands were in the air but she allowed it to falter a moment later. It took her a second or two, but she was able to contort her face into a tighter look as her eyes narrowed at the brunette now sitting beside her.

                            ❝ So…    You couldn’t talk to me in front of Hanna?                        Had to wait until I was alone? ❞

She wanted to be kidding and she wanted this reunion with Emily to be a nice one. Maybe they could hug and Alison could tell her all about Portland and what she’d been doing and how it was so nice to be in a place where no one knew anything about you – but she couldn’t do it. Her words came out before her mind could formulate anything and her body responded accordingly, fists balling on her lap. Rigidly, she kept her eyes forward and cleared her throat, adding:

                        ❝ It’s good to see you, Emily. ❞

                    she’d been hoping for nothing out of the ordinary to happen upon getting so close to the blonde haired woman beside her, but there was no escaping the flutter of thousands of tiny butterflies attempting to break free of her chest. it was always the same with alison. it always had been and she assumed that for as long as alison was in her life it probably always would be. even when they’d fought emily had been unable to look at her without feeling something in her gut telling her to just take her and run. there was nothing for them there, and the same statement still held true. which was why they’d all gone their separate ways. for spencer, aria, and hanna it had been college. emily had followed in her father’s footsteps. and alison... she felt bad for not knowing what alison had done with her life; but she could fix that.

               ❛ it’s not like that, alison.                                     not really. ❜

                    the accusation dropped made emily want to jump to her own defense, but she couldn’t. alison wasn’t wrong. though she wasn’t wholly right either. emily had avoided the blonde for the sake of her feelings. she wanted to protect herself, because when it came to alison her heart always attempted to compromise the rational part of her mind and convince her to make foolish and rash decisions. had the other girls accepted alison with open arms, and she still wasn’t sure why they hadn’t, she would have done the same. because at least even then she would have been under the protection of three of her closest friends. here she had caught herself making every single mistake she had told herself she wouldn’t--and it started with spending time alone with her. and even as she told herself it was a mistake, she couldn’t imagine anywhere else she’d rather be.

               ❛ it’s good to see you too. really good. ❜

                    her HEART didn’t take the time to consult with her mind before it told her to reach out and blanket one of alison’s fists with her hand. once there she gave her hand a gentle squeeze and her lips tugged into a small smile, because despite the fact alison looked annoyed and almost dejected, she had told her it was good to see her. emily was well aware that time changed people but she still felt that beyond reason she had an uncanny understanding of this girl and how her mind worked. and she leaned over to gently nudge her shoulder against alison’s for good measure.

Her body pressed into the cool oak bench as her eyes bore into the overabundance of roses and other flowers that were beginning to wilt around the altar. No more than an hour ago, the church had been crowded with people, scooting over to make room for all the guests here to see Rosewood’s own high school sweethearts get married. Now, it was deserted, everyone having fled to the reception. Everyone, that was, besides Alison.

Seeing Mona and Mike tie the knot in the very church that Alison and Mona got into a bitch slapping contest in so many years ago had been pleasant enough but she was counting down the moments until she would be able to board the plane back to where she lived now. There was nothing for her in Rosewood except for ghosts and the sour memories that wafted in and out of her mind wherever she went.

She’d seen Toby and Spencer, Hanna and Caleb, and Aria and Ezra. She’d even seen Emily who was, much to her pleasure, apparently going stag to the wedding. Alison tried to get a boy back in Portland to come with her – they weren’t serious or anything. In fact, he was just someone she had coffee with every now and then – but she knew from the look on his face when she asked that there was no way he wanted to spend a week in her hometown. She didn’t blame him; this was less than a pleasant reunion.

That was why, she supposed, she was sitting alone in the empty church while the rest of her friends (were they still friends if she could hardly keep conversation with any of them?) danced and drank the night away in celebration of Mona and Mike’s undying love. With a sigh, Alison glanced at her phone before tucking it away inside her handbag and smoothing her skirt, preparing to stand up. A sound from the back caught her attention, however, and she froze.

                                ❝ Who’s there? ❞

                    emily wouldn’t have bothered coming back for this particular union were it not for the fact mike was aria’s baby brother. out of all the girls (save for alison), she spoke with aria the least; but she, hanna, spencer, and aria would always have an unspoken bond among them. throughout the rest of their lives they would always know what the others went through and they would, inevitably, always want to support the others. that was what held emily at the wedding--because despite the fact that mona too shared some form of knowledge of what they’d all been through, she still couldn’t bring herself to truly feel anything other than strained acquaintanceship toward mona.

                    she’d felt anxious during the entire ceremony, and though she knew it would probably be rude to skip out on the reception she felt no desire to sit through even more. she’d excused herself from the other three girls and ducked into a restroom to hide out until things sounded like they’d died down in the sanctuary. and when she emerged from her hiding place she found that she was alone. she hoped aria wouldn’t be pissed at her for skipping out but perhaps the tiny brunette would be too caught up in wedding activities to notice. spencer and hanna on the other hand, they would definitely notice. she took a minute to text them and feed them the ‘not feeling well’ excuse and she readied herself to leave.

                    purse slung over her shoulder, she turned and nearly knocked over a small stack of offering trays which made her cringe despite the fact she believed she was alone. then she heard her voice drift in from the sanctuary. the sound was unmistakable, her ears had become accustomed to her voice so much so that she doubted she’d ever fully forget it. she walked back in toward the rows of pews and slowed just a little when she reached the doorway, not wanting to sound too anxious to see her again. she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t taken notice of her a few times during the ceremony; but she’d avoided conversation, mainly because the others had seemed to do the same. she slowly walked down the center aisle, hands raised in mock surrender as she walked.

               ❛ ali... it’s me.           ---how’ve you been? ❜