{Mniszek}

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I’m Mniszek, I come from the wonderful lands of Poland. Computer science lover, IB student.

This diary of sort was created to keep me motivated and learn from others. You may find study related things, random ideas and what keeps me going.

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Ask box is open — send thy ravens, questions, or banter. I enjoy sharing thoughts and views.

love your blog design by the way :-)

Hey!! Thanks for the question

Failures definitely have a big impact on me. Especially when I spend SO much time revising for a certain test or project. I suddenly feel like my entire world is falling apart just because of some grade. :/

What I try to do is some sort of a restart. Going back to the whirl of learning just to ”catch up”leaves me emotionally drained, unmotivated and feeling stupid. And even tho I’m aware that this one test doesn’t dictate my entire future, reasoning comes to fail when emotions are playing their part.

Telling myself that it gets better doesn’t work… logic does nothing. Instead of thinking I act. I wear clothes that I feel comfortable in, I make food that I enjoy, I watch movies that make me laugh, I listen to music that inspires me, I take long baths. I simply focus on myself. Going back to learn seems like the logical thing to do, but if I feel bad, then taking care of myself comes first. Let yourself breathe. :)

That usually works. That’s my restart. After I’m done with emotions I work with logic. When my head is clear, I talk with my teacher to figure out what went wrong, what mistakes I made and was it just stress that made me forget it or do I genuinely not understand that part? If you show that you care, then they’re more than willing to help you.

At times I feel bad for taking care of myself because hey!!! You should be learning! But I will learn. It’s balance. You get to feel better, and also don’t feel shitty about taking care of yourself because you’ll catch up when you’re ready.

I need a hot bath

I used the days since last post to learn as much as I can for the math test. Ended up being around 9 hours and I’m happy with it. The test went great but I wish I did better. It’s never enough when you’re too ambitious.

Had my programming lessons today

Rest.

Sometimes it sucks to see people do so much better than you and put less work into it. Why am I not that good? What am I doing differently? I shouldn’t obsess over my grades so much either, what really matters is if I understand the subject.

Oh so tired…

My chemistry test went well, I did a few mistakes but I am satisfied with my work and I’m also proud of achieving it with so little time. These deep study sessions save me hours.

Discussed different courses with a former IB student. (Love this guy)

Studied math around 4 hours.

Cheered loudly as my partner showed me their new socks.

I had mood swings the entire day, but they weren’t as bad as they used to be. I did my work, unfortunately I got a bit lost in math. I have private lessons this Sunday so I’ll just ask for help with it.

Did a deep study session of 2 hours, I feel prepared for my test but I will still revise tomorrow morning.

My face is getting bumpy, must be from the unhealthy food I’ve recently eaten, I don’t regret it. Next week I’ll eat healthy to cleanse my body.

Did some laundry

My sister made me a bowl of fruits with melted chocolate on the side, made my day truly.

My legs hurt from all the walking.

I practiced math with my teacher today in the morning at my additional classes, had fun! Finally understanding the subject. Unfortunately I did really bad on my chemistry paper… I am hoping to learn and rewrite it. Honestly I felt like crying but I reminded myself that it’s just a slip up and it’s not that serious, there will be worse days. I’ll progress over time.

Stayed after school, took 45 minutes for math exercises.

Came back home and made some food for me and my sister. I cleaned up the living room, kitchen and hallway, I want it to feel more welcoming (my room is still a huge mess).

My partner took chemistry notes for me, 2 hours of learning. It’s for the test and I managed to sit down and revise.

Lots of thoughts started to run through my head, I decided to go back home for my mental health. I felt so guilty about it, still do.

I have a test this Friday and don’t feel like learning at all, no idea how to motivate myself, I’ll just try to sit down and learn.

Started working on the mad hatter costume for a convention, my perfectionism is NOT letting me mess anything up.

I feel a little bit overwhelmed, but this day is okay.

I am finally starting to understand math again, and I’ve never been happier. It’s something that once brought me such joy but since family related issues and stress I had to go through, I’ve just completely struggled with it.

last year I stayed many times after school to learn with my math teacher, bless her soul. She has helped me go through a hard time. And now I’ve got my spark back.