Welcome 👋🏻

and random texts at 3 pm

about dumb things that 

go through your head during the day.

i want horror movies while you 

cover your eyes and recoil behind my shoulders

but insist that you weren’t that scared

when i call you out on it.

i want getting lost in a foreign city

and our phones are out of battery 

and all we have is each other 

and the beautiful alien scenery 

as we try to find our way back.

i want petty fights about mundane things

and screaming at each other 

and slamming of doors

but i become yellow 

when you are red 

brightening up your dark days

and you love me all the same.

i want awkward first times

while our mixed anxiety

and hesitation 

strangles us up in a corner

but a brief eye contact

puts both our demons at ease

and the world feels much lighter.

i want spending hours in museums

trying to find the perfect artefact

that we can make a meme out of

and the security guard gives us a warning stare

as we run through greek sculptures

amongst the gods and the semi-humans

all the greatest tragedies and love sonnets in one room.

then there is you

then there is me

trying to find a middle between 

two extremes. 

This is how you lose her. 

You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely.

You must remember when she forgets. 

You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are trying to be polite, and more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because she pays attention.

She remembers when you forget. 

You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the beauty that she is. When you make her feel that she is replaceable. She wants to feel cherished. When you make her feel that you are fleeting. She wants you to stay. When you make her feel inadequate. She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good.

You must learn her. 

You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to. 

You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.