Ahmad Manasra was arrested by Israeli occupation forces in 2015 when he was only 13 years old. Although the Israeli court did not find that Ahmad participated in the stabbing incident, he was still charged with attempted murder and sentenced to 9 and a half years in Israeli prison.

Videos of his interrogation were circulating at the time, showing the extent of the brutality of the investigation against a scared and distressed child. You can look up the footage but note it is extremely disturbing.

i completely understand that in the global climate of extreme islamophobia, there's a sense that "any critiques of the islamic community must be done WITHIN the community to protect from outsiders who are operating from a place of hate." i entirely recognize that and i agree completely. but like i've said before, islamophobia doesn't actually stop when you no longer practice islam, and ex-muslims are also impacted by it. my argument is just that ex-muslims are, in a sense, part of the community because we're HERE. we live in these countries, we are part of your families, we're impacted by the same systems. it's a very weird positionality we occupy, but it would be inaccurate to say that ex-muslims are outsiders in the same sense that white christians are. i won't deny that there is a lot of islamophobia among ex-muslims, but it's a lot more nuanced than the kind of islamophobia that you'll see among white europeans and americans.

ex-muslims absolutely have a lot of fuckin Issues and i will always be the first to call it out, but we're really never gonna heal the mass religious trauma in the ex-muslim community until we are welcomed in these spaces where our traumas are validated and treated with the gravity they deserve. because a lot of these traumas we share are coming from the same place! muslim men being shitty to muslim women is entirely coming from the same place as them being shitty to non-muslim and ex-muslim women. there is of course more nuance there, but my point stands.

when you're atheist and you lose someone, religious people don't really know how to interact with you. it's fine, we have different worldviews.

'He's in a better place, now.'

Sorry auntie, but I don't believe that. I believe that his brain stopped working at 5h55pm on december 11th 2022, and that's it. Nothing after that.

It makes grief very difficult, because not believing in god or the afterlife also means accepting that you will never, ever see that person again. That's it. The end. Nada mas.

But, back to the aunties and other faceless people gravitating in the grey blurry waters of your awareness.

They tell you 'He's with god now' and you tell them 'Yeah I don't believe that' and.

they. get. annoyed.

Here I am, gutted open, the worst day of my life, barely holding myself together, and they! Get annoyed that I won't smile and entertain their point of view!

Another faceless person tried to heal me with cristals. She also got annoyed when I told her I didn't believe in that.

I usually don't really mind religious people. It's fine, we have different worldviews. I think I'm right but so do they. As long as they're good people, I don't judge them for their faith.

I'll even be grateful for them trying to console me. I get that you're trying to give me strength and love. Thank you.

But I'm going to be true to myself, yes even when I'm mad with shock and grief. And I still can't believe they got annoyed that I didn't play along to placate them, on the worst day of my life.