Samuel Evans

No. You’re too young to do that shit.

But, after what happened, I think I need to do it

This place has been beat as hell. Everyday I gotta find cool shit today because all you fuckers bore the shit out of me. What happened to the fuckin’ crazy partiers of the island?

Sorry dude, no partying for me anymore. I should just jump ahead and be an old man

I got a good start to this morning, so I figured I’d go downtown and get some coffee, and just really appreciate the city life. I was almost hit by a taxi cab, but I might be exaggerating. Still, the city is beautiful, and i plan to make another trip for dinner, because now I’m in the city mood. Would anyone like to come?

You gotta look where you're going Kurt, I mean, I've lived here for a few months now and I still think the people here are shit drivers. Where you going for coffee?

Oh, gross.  Trust me, there is a zero percent chance of that happening.  Especially with all of the scandal that’s been following him around from that seventeen-year-old girl on Instagram?  No thanks.  The guy’s pretty washed up, in my opinion.  Leighton is easily the selling point.

Wait what? What scandal? Leighton is hot, yes, I'd buy whatever she sells.

So, uh...

That's kinda awkward, though. I mean, aren't they supposed to NOT follow us in there?

Not, like, a CRAZY fan girl or anything!  Just a fan.  A totally calm, cool, and collected fan who would be really, really excited to get to see James Franco and Leighton Meester.  They’ve always been on my “to meet” list and I’ve never gotten the chance!!

You don't sound so calm and collected, haha. I mean, as long as you don't go around giving James Franco your underwear and claiming you want his babies... I think you'll be good.

They’re starring in the play!

Are you going to be one of those fangirls, Marley? I mean, considering you have your own fans that would be pretty funny actually

Not feeling so well, looks like I’m home bound for a while. Can someone bring me some soup? Preferably someone wearing a nurse’s outfit.

You must have been playing tornado/earthquake with Kaden, huh?

Is it just me...

Maybe you've been playing the tornado/earthquake game too much?

I’ve been an absolute social recluse, which is probably pretty bad for ratings or something. I really need to get out more, I’m just so bored, how bored can someone be in a place like this? Who wants to try and score some Phantom of the Opera tickets and head down to Majestic Theater with me?

What is with everyone and talking about plays or musicals or books? No wonder people are falling asleep watching, it makes me sleepy too. Sorry man, I don't even know what that show is to be able to buy tickets for it.

How is Leighton Meester and James Franco connected to Of Mice and Men?