FORGIVE ME, FATHER.

𝐌𝐀𝐘𝐁𝐄 𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐒 𝐀 𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 Damian actually agrees with his answer that he’s actually disappointed that he can’t give the other any more than pure speculation. “Nah, man. Whatever you heard, I heard.” His eyes dart around the Retreat, finding juniors and seniors alike milling about, all equally as confused as everyone else. “Looks like everyone else heard too…” Shrugging, he leans back into his elbows, cheeks in his palms, staring straight ahead — but it’s only after he’s not searching that he finds an anomaly, something that could help them figure out what the hell the noise had been.

“Hey…” Rion’s eyes snap open, sleep wiped away, tugging at the guy’s arm. “Do you see that? Over there?” Footprints. “Shit, maybe some really did try to pull a prank.” Is that… relief, that he feels? He’s almost quite sure now that someone had decided to pull a petty prank, messed up, and had hastily hid the evidence before running away. The evidence couldn’t point to anything else. Swinging his legs around the bench, he squints over towards the cabin. “Well, that’s not creepy at all. You think they’re hiding inside the well or something?”  

†

Things went quiet again eventually. Damian grew bored. In an effort to avoid falling asleep, he got his phone out and visited his Headway app, figuring he’d get some reading in since it was rather peaceful again outside. But as he was getting into Kevin Horsely’s Unlimited Memory, he felt an unexpected pull on his arm. With a frown, Damian looked up at Orion in confusion and then towards were he wanted the Fenwick captain’s attention to go. He couldn’t tell what it was at first but after stretching out to get a better look, it registered in his head: footprints. By golly!

Damian slid out of the bench and walked toward the footprints, shining his phone’s light on to reaffirm the fact that they were footprints and they were leading somewhere. “Only one way to find out.” He gestured for Orion over and began to follow the steps toward the well, fully expecting the other Senior to follow him. He wouldn’t want to leave a stone unturned after all. If this issue could be resolved tonight, Damian wanted it done. “Get your phone out will you? More light, the better.”

✦

if someone had told conny even five minutes ago that he’d been wandering around after lights out with damian, there’s no way he’d believe them. it all seemed a little surreal. though maybe that was more down to the late hour, the lack of sleep, and his ability to be spooked by his own shadow than it did with fenwick captain.

once out in the open, he was suddenly more aware of the situation. something had made a noise and now he was outside like a dumbass looking for it with no shoes on. following damian’s lead he pulled out his phone and used it’s flashlight to try and illuminate the dark. nothing. no one. which damian announced just in case connor had missed it. he would have liked to have commented on what damian said, or even offered his own suggestion that they go to exactly where damian thought he’d heard a sound (seeing as connor had only managed to narrow it down to ‘outside’) but then damian was off, and he had no choice but to follow after him. 

though conny had more of a hobble going for him, quickly regretting not pulling on a pair of shoes when he’d launched himself out of bed. but as he got more used to the course ground underneath his bare feet the easier it became to keep up with damian’s pace. “ okay now that you can see no one’s out here, ” it was probably still too early to say that no one else was out there with confidence, but conny was preparing for the worst “ what else do you think it could have been? ” he asked, shining phone flashlight into the dark and to his disappointment seeing nothing out of the ordinary. 

†

Damian was determined. He wanted an answer for whatever that disturbance was. Something or someone to hold responsible because he didn’t want to have to deal with it again. Sleep was difficult enough to come by. He was tired of all of the inconveniences that came with being moved to the cabins. The flash from his phone whipped left and right, his impatience evident and growing by the second as he surveilled the perimeter of the cabin.  

“Hmm.” Damian gave Connor’s question a moment’s thought, finding it difficult to really come up with anything substantial while he was trying to find something from nothing. “I don’t know. Perhaps a... faulty part of the cabin, maybe? Something coming apart with age?” It was frustrating that they couldn’t seem to find explanation. Damian became more flagrant with where he flashed his phone’s light. At the windows, under bushes, everywhere on the ground. He just wanted something.

And then he heard it. A movement. His head whipped towards the noise, a muffled crackling, towards the east of the Senior cabin. A breeze? It wasn’t particularly windy, he thought. Damian flashed his light toward the area, hoping to spot a raccoon being disruptive or something of the like. But no. Nothing. Maybe he just wanted to hear something... He sighed. And then just Damian was about to turn away and write it off as his imagination, another rustle occurs.

“Did you–” He flashed his light toward the area again, swaying it around in hopes he’ll come across something. “You heard that, right?” He asked Connor, hoping to God he wasn’t just losing his mind from lack of sleep.

“Yeah, that’s it,” she nodded to confirm, rather flattered by the fact that he had remembered, though perhaps it was only because it sounded so dangerously close to an insult, “Bjarke Barstaad. It means a farm or something- like a farm house,” not particularly prestigious, “I don’t know what Bjarke means but I think it’s like Bjorn, something to do with a bear,” she offered to detract from the fact that her name could have been Katherine Farm House which was almost as bad as Katherine Bastard.  “I would have picked something like- I don’t know, Eriksson or Erikssdottir or something easy but I guess there’s already enough of those names in the world,” she was mostly reasoning with herself, rather than with Damian, “-and he likes to play chess too, so I guess he thought it would sound good,” she added, having never really thought about it until this moment. She wondered if that was indeed a reason why her father had picked his so-called American name.

She nodded her head in agreement once more with a chuckle passing her lips, “Not that its easy to forget which grandparent belongs where but yeah- it’s smart, it’s good to remember,” she suggested. “Do you have grandparents? My bestemor and bestefar- my Mom’s parents live in Minnesota too, maybe just twenty minutes from my Mom’s house, actually, by the Mississippi River,” she explained, then thought of something Damian might like to hear, “-They live right by our church, so we used to see them every week,” she explained, “-or like, my family still does that, I’m just not there, obviously,” she clarified, realizing her error.

“Oh yeah,” she assured him without falter. Maybe Damian thought he was too young to think about it in any depth but Kat, even younger than Damian, had it all planned out. She wanted a nice job that made her feel good, a pretty house, a sexy husband and a whole bunch of cute kids in cute outfits that loved each other and their parents to pieces. She would never get divorced, so she had to be careful about who it was that she married but she was convinced she would fall so madly in love that it wouldn’t ever concern her later in life. “I just- I love my siblings so much, I love to be around them and teach them things and make them feel important,” she confessed, “-and I had so much fun at the community church too, you know, even if it’s just reading and coloring in, I felt like it was really special with those kids. I want to learn and travel and stuff too but like- I don’t know- when I think about it, I can’t really think of anything that would be more important than that. Just being happy and loved,” 

†

“It does sound good,” Damian assured. “Katherine Bishop,” he said out loud, liking how it sounded. “Katherine Josephine Bishop,” he said once more, hearing all of it at once. It was a fine name. He spared a glance at Kat and smiled. “Lovely.” He didn’t care to clarify if he was talking about her name or her. It would apply to both anyway.

Did he have grandparents? Damian thought that was a weird question to ask but then he remembered that not everyone had grandparents that were still living. Just like how sometimes not everyone had parents that stayed together. Or how sometimes, like in Lucy’s case, not everyone had parents that were even alive. “Yes, I do,” he answered with a nod of his head. “Both sides.” He frowned a little as Kat went on but listened anyway and only spoke once she finished. “That’s nice. Is bestemor and bestefar different from farfar and morfar? I thought that’s what you said grandparents were called? Or is that more of just a general word?”

Damian couldn’t help the smile that grew carefully on his face as Kat talked about how she wanted kids. She had such a positive view on things, it was refreshing to listen to. “Yeah, I really enjoyed spending time with the kids at the church too. Kids are great. They don’t seem too complicated. You just have to listen to them.” Though kids often had ideas that were out of sorts and often out of reach but they were kids, they didn’t know any better yet. “Happy and loved...” Damian repeated with a big exhale. “It’s all anyone wants isn’t it?” Probably because they weren’t easy feelings to achieve. 

She nodded her head in agreement, “My Dad got teased when he was in college so much, I think it like- it got stuck in his head,” traumatised him, perhaps, “For a little while he even said his name was Ben,” fucking gross, she didn’t want to think about Ben Martos and her own father having anything in common aside from living on the same planet, “Ben Bishop,” she chuckled at the sound of it, realizing she’d never said it aloud. It didn’t sound like her father’s name, she didn’t know this Ben Bishop character and was glad he’d given up on that. “-and Bishop because he did honors at Bishop University- or Bishop’s University, I can’t remember- in Canada before he moved to the U.S. and he liked the sound of it, I guess, then he did his PhD in America,”  it was so much easier to talk about her Dad than it was to talk about Damian’s weird emotions and perhaps she was boring the male but she didn’t mind, it was still nicer than having him reduced to tears over her.

“I think I knew that actually,” whether it was because Damian had explicitly told her or because she’d discovered it while stalking his Instagram or perhaps Eliza’s was unclear. “Eliza, Damian, Joseph,” she noted, thinking aloud, “It’s nice,” she complimented with a warm smile on her face, imagining the three of them lined up side by side, though she didn’t really know what Damian’s eldest sibling looked like.  She clicked her tongue as her lips pulled into a charmed smile at the revelation, “That’s so nice,” she chimed sweetly and it was true, it was nice, she thought. She nodded her head, “Yeah, that’s it. It goes by who your grandparent is to your parent,” her words were clumsy but clarification was on the way, “So Farfar is my Dad’s dad and Morfar is my Mom’s dad and then Mormor and Farmor, my Mom’s mom and my Dad’s Mom,” she explained with expressive hand gestures to go along with her words. “Do you want kids?” she asked, before she realized that it was an extremely personal question and probably not a great one to be asking somebody nearing an emotional break down over a high school crush. Still, she’d seen how good Damian was with the children at the community church and had to assume he’d at least thought about it.

†

“Ben.” Damian blinked once and let that sink in. He wondered if Kat’s mind went straight to their school’s Track Captain too. He really hoped it didn’t. He also wished his own mind wouldn’t take him there so quickly. He just wanted that bit of knowledge to stay buried and forgotten somewhere in the back of his mind so he could co-exist with Ben without the added awkwardnesss of knowing both of them had a thing with Kat at one point. “Yeah, because it was...” Oh, he was tentative to to do this. “Bar– Barstaad?” He got out hesitantly. “Before. Right?” There was really no way getting around it sounding like that word.

Damian pushed his lips up at a corner for the polite sake of it when Kat complimented the names of the Fitzgerald children. Hearing it made him imagine the three of them together, which was difficult for some reason. It was always Joseph, fawned over by their parents, and then Damian and Eliza. Something uncomfortable stirred in Damian’s chest at the image of it. He tried to focus on Kat’s words to distract himself from the feeling. “Oh wow. That’s incredibly clever actually. And easy.” He wished there was a system that worked like that in his family. But they were old-fashioned in the Fitzgerald home. Often formal and with extra bits added for clarification. 

The question was a difficult one. If you asked Damian a year ago, he would have said ‘yes’ in a heartbeat, not a single ounce of doubt in his heart and mind. He wanted children to raise up and give the world to, to perhaps create the sort of warmth and comfort he felt was lacking in his own home growing up. But now it stumped him, made him pensive and quiet. Ever since last year, it felt like something... cracked or... broke. Less and less did Damian feel this desire to be like his father, to have two boys and one girl, or to feel more connected to him. The man just felt so far away. Not that Damian ever achieved the desired closeness he wanted to with his father but now more than ever it felt impossible to reach. The idea of family was merely very confusing to Damian at this point in his life, but he hoped he wouldn’t feel like this forever.

“I don’t know. I did, but... I think I’m just too young to think about it in a real sense, I suppose.” He didn’t feel too young to think about it before when he was even younger; he even had ideas of names he wanted to give his future children. But now it was just... different. “Do you want kids?” He asked Kat now, failing to realize just how personal the question was. To Damian, it was just a question. Like how are you. Something you were asked and had to ask in return.

brows furrowed, and connor jerked a hand between them “ you’re out of bed same as me– could’ve just as easily been you, ” he pointed out. in fact if he’d heard correctly the noise had come from the same direction as damian, not as conny. but he wasn’t trying to start anything with damian. though he couldn’t imagine damian actually fighting, he was built like a tank but conny imagined he got into more tussles than the fenwick captain. he shook his head to confirm that no, he’d seen nothing outside. he only became confused as damian continued. of course it didn’t sound like from the woods, it had come from what sounded like right outside the cabin. and then another quick onslaught of questioning. as if connor had enough braincells to deal with this most of the time, much less when he was tired and panicked. “ no, man– i didn’t see anything, no one’s up, ” that might not be true, he hadn’t exactly checked each of his roommates’ beds as he’d rushed out “ the sound came from outside anyway, i swear it did, ” he continued, gesturing to the door out of the cabin for a moment before he actually started moving towards it. there was only one way to find out, right? he was apparently already in trouble for being awake, might as well make it worth while. 

†

“Well, it isn’t.” Damian was quick to shut that ridiculous theory of Connor’s down. Growing up in the household he did, Damian was an expert at not making noise; his parents didn’t like it. “Outside...” It seemed the least desirable option was making itself the only option at this point. “Right.” Damian gave a nod. “Well, let’s have a look then.” He started toward the direction of the door, like Connor. Ideally, he would be telling any stray student he found out of bed to return to said bed, but it was a God-awful hour in the morning, Damian was tired, and Connor seemed willing to explore and held information Damian didn’t so... who was he to deny the companion?

Once they stepped out of the door of the cabin, Damian fished his phone out of his pocket and used its flash to add clarity to their surroundings, a bit of it at a time anyway. “No one on the porch...” Captain Obvious commented after a glance to his left and his right. "I swore the sound happened on my end of the cabin though.” With his bunk by the window, Damian would even go to as far to say right beside him. “Let’s check the perimeter?” He said, though it was less of a suggestion and more an announcement as he started walking ahead without Connor’s agreement.

✦

damian didn’t really sit on the list of people connor was very glad to not literally run into in the middle of the night, but he wasn’t a friend either. he’d never really liked the word acquaintance but it was kind of the only word he could think of to describe his relationship with his old roommate. “ of course it wasn’t me, it’s the middle of the night ” he replied, not that it being the middle of the night had stopped him from being out of bed before. he didn’t even know how much he was just throwing damian’s hope out a window like a baseball.  “ – it wasn’t you? ” he didn’t actually suspect damian was behind the sound, rather it was a defensive question. as if to say, you’re up too so you can’t write me up. though that attitude had never worked with gwen whenever she’d caught him up after lights out. “ i tried looking out the window but i couldn’t see anything out there. ” 

†  

Damian’s face pinched together at the accusation. Him? Damian? A House Captain? Obviously not. “No. Of course not, how could say such a thing?” He retorted, though he failed to see how the reply was rather dramatic. As if he’s never snuck out of bed and into places he didn’t belong before. In that moment, the memory of he and Gwen at the pool house after hours was far from his mind. “Nothing outside?” That was disappointing. “I only heard it. I thought it must have been someone tripping on the way to the outhouse again, or something falling over. It didn’t sound like... from the woods.” As if that made sense. Not an animal, not a roar of thunder. It was distinctively not of nature, that was the best way Damian could describe it. A clatter. A sort of crash. “You sure you didn’t see anything? Is anyone else up with you right now? Anyone else out of bed?” He snuck a peek behind Connor. Damian was really hoping he wouldn’t have to make his way outside but if he had to then he had to.

Lucy glanced at him briefly, their arms pressed together may not have offerred much by way of warmth but it certainly helped by way of comfort. He had a calming presence, even if it wasn’t intentional. Perhaps it was the authority figure thing. As defiant as she was she could appreciate security - especially as they were standing in the dark with a phone flashlight as their guiding light. Perhaps it was just the fact that she had been reading a lot of text on demons and spirits to keep up her prank on Faith, but she was a little bit creeped out.

Her eyes narrowed when he thought he spotted something and she parted the bush with the stick only to see a fractured piece of wood sitting there. She scoffed and moved over to pick it up. “It’s just-” she started to speak but cut herself off with a frown. The main body of the wood was damp and crusty with mud and general forest residue, but the splintered part was bone dry and pointy. “Where…?” She had lived rural all her life, she knew how to build things for convenience and that meant she knew wood. And basic science.

She looked up until she spotted the source of the wood and reached over to tilt the light up. “Look, it must have snapped off.” She couldn’t think of anything heavy enough of strong enough to break the wood, although maybe it was just weak with age? She handed over the piece of wood, although one look at it and it was clear that it was pretty sturdy stuff. “It was… probably a bird?” she suggested. “Took off too rough?” She didn’t look convinced, only confused. 

†  

Damian’s gaze followed the phone’s light, upwards where no one would assume the sound could come from. “Snapped off?” Oh goodness, this cabin really was ancient. That wasn’t a good sign. A terrible sign in fact. Concerned, Damian received the piece of wood from Lucy with a slight frown, shining his phone’s light on it to properly inspect it. The wood did match that of the material above. There was no mistaking it. “Perhaps... Must have been some bird to do this...” The chunk of wood wasn’t rotting. Damian could squeeze it hard and it didn’t come apart in his hands. It was solid. And dry where the forest residue didn’t touch it. The Fenwick didn’t know much about the matter, of roofs or structures or of wood, but he understood enough that it was hard to believe a bird could have caused the piece to snap off.

“Maybe a bigger animal? Raccoon trying to climb up?” One that’s grown heavy eating whatever leftovers the students have thrown away or something. Then again, they haven’t been here too long. It was hard to imagine an animal could gain weight that quickly but Damian didn’t know much about the critters so who was he to assume such a thing? And wouldn’t the mammal make noise if it fell? Unless it successfully got on the roof? There was a lot of guessing happening. It made Damian feel dizzy. “I’m gonna take a picture of this. Show it to Sister Michael in the morning. We need to make sure where we sleep’s not going to collapse over us.” He snapped a photo of the wood in his hands and above where it apparently broke off in the overhang. “There.” He sighed.

Damian shined the light upwards again and stared at the break with knitted brows. “So strange...”

how's the retreat so far? 

It’s a bit of an adventure, I suppose. Can’t say I’m leaning toward enjoying it considering the things that have been happening recently. It’s difficult to sleep... I feel as though I’ve gone through a bottle and a half of mosquito repellent already... Wouldn’t call the outhouse my favorite thing either... I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s an influx of bladder infection reports soon.

is there anyone you would like to get to know more? why?

Hmm... I would say Lucy. I think she’s quite interesting and that there’s more to know about her. She’s very different from me, but I feel as though that’s not a bad thing and we could learn a lot from each other.

what's your biggest fear in life?

...Failure. Being unloved.

If you could eat one meal for the rest of time, what would it be?

I do enjoy a good lemon-pepper salmon on a bed of couscous... Lots of vegetables.

“Mmm, I think so,” she decided after a moment or so of contemplation, a smile growing on her face as she said the words to Damian, reminded of some of the time they spent in the Heritage Garden. Secretly she’d sort of hoped their walk in the woods would take a more physically intimate turn but getting to know each other on a personal level was good too, she supposed. It was better than nothing at the very least.

She chuckled as he played along and nodded his head, “I know yeah, just one thing on my long list of talents, I guess,” she joked at her own expensive. “Yeah, you can keep me to anything, April 19, I don’t make promises I won’t keep,” she assured him and it was a lovely thought but it was just that, a thought. She struggled to stick to her word, to maintain her convictions, as much as she liked the idea of being a woman who knew exactly what she believed in and would fight for those things without hesitation.

“Some things, I think,” she assured him. She liked to think of herself as a complicated person, one that consisted of many folds and many intricate layers, unknowable from the surface. She certainly wasn’t as complex as she imagined herself to be but she also wasn’t as much of a simpleton as other people thought she was either. Katherine Bishop sat somewhere comfortably in between, “So, my Farfar’s name is Jörmunrekur and my Dad wanted to name me after him some how because I was the first baby and that’s sort of tradition but obviously everybody was like- okay, that’s a bit cruel to name your baby like that- and it’s a boys name- so they thought maybe Jorunn but it doesn’t sound good with Katherine so then maybe not and like, it’s hard for Americans to spell and say and stuff and my Dad really hates that because his name is Bjarke and people always mess it up like his friends at work call him BJ and he hates cos that’s not even how you say his name at all but whatever, so he never wanted me to deal with that and have an American name but still like be true to my heritage or whatever and yeah, I don’t know, they ended up with Josephine,” she shrugged her shoulders, “Which maybe because my parents are Lutheran they thought it was nice because of Joseph,” she offered, realizing she had never really asked her parents about her name in any great detail. 

†

Damian did his best to pay close attention when Norwegian names came into play. There was a lot of things Kat was saying that felt out of his realm of understanding. He probably couldn’t repeat her... Farfar’s (...grandfather?) name if he tried but at least he knew it now. She was also sharing a lot at once. And he swore Kat just told him her father’s name was Bianca. Or something that sounded like that. BJ. Hmm... He didn’t want to say that, and he couldn’t pronounce her father’s name correctly, so Damian supposed he’d just be referring to Kat’s dad as ‘your father’ if the topic ever worked its way into a conversation between himself and Kat again.

“Oh wow. That’s quite interesting... and considerate.” Especially considerate. Damian never thought of things like that. The most difficult name to pronounce in his family was Guinevere and it was of a cousin he hardly saw so it’s not like he said it often. It was strange to hear the name ‘Joseph’ out of Kat’s mouth though. He knew it was just a name and anyone could have it, but it strangely stirred discomfort in Damian when Kat said it. “You know, my brother’s name is Joseph.” Damian didn’t like to talk about him because he was already talked about so much at home, even when he wasn’t around. “And he was named after my grandfather too. Grandfathers, actually. That’s what your Farfar is, right? Correct me if I’m mistaken.”

♡: If you could spend a day in the life of any other student, who would you pick and why?

Perhaps Francis? We get along really well and have a lot in common. It would feel the least strange switching lives with him for a day.

✌ : Post the sixth photo in your camera roll.

I’ve recently come across a rather hilarious Instagram page and just had to share something that made me laugh with @faithfullymckay.

Lucy rolled her eyes but she moved closer so that she was standing next to Damian. “You’ll just have to keep me safe with your light. Isn’t that your job?” She smiled, although it didn’t reach her eyes. The cold of the night was getting to her, she was starting to wish that she had never left in the first place. She wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her body tightly. It was as if, now someone else was there, she noticed the chill in the air. She noticed that she probably shouldn’t be outside alone.

She expected to just turn around and leave, that seemed like the sensible thing to do and Damian was as sensible as could be. Or so she thought. Her eyebrows furrowed and she leaned back against the cabin. “It was probably an animal?” she suggested. She stood on her toes, curiosity seeping through the cold and warming her up. If Damian was looking then it had to be exciting.

She looked around in the dim light, eyes narrowed, until she saw a big stick poking out of a bush. She picked it up and leaned forward, prodding it into the bush. She parted the leaves only to find nothing there. “Hmph. Maybe it ran away?” She looked out into the darkness, it was strangely inviting.

†  

“Well, not specifically but I suppose,” Damian conceded with a slight nod. As a house captain, it was his duty to take care of everyone in Fenwick, and he supposed in the dead of the night when only one of them had a working phone to light up their surroundings that his responsibility couldn’t ring more true. Peering to the side, Damian took notice of Lucy trying to warm herself up. It was in that moment that he regretted not throwing on a jacket before he left his room but time was of the essence with this situation. In a small – perhaps futile – effort to offer her warmth, Damian awkwardly sidled towards Lucy until their arms touched. He tended to run warm so maybe being near him might offer a sort of comfort but he knew that realistically it did nothing.

“It didn’t sound like an animal. It sounded more like a... a crash of sorts.” It was the best way he could describe it. With a stick procured and Lucy’s help, Damian was able to better take a look whatever was in the bushes. He angled his phone this way and that, trying his best to find something in what looked to be nothing but mulch and–

“Hey, wait. What’s that?” The prospect of a clue had him leaning further over the bushes. “Can you move this bit aside?” He stretched his arm out as best he could and angled the light towards something that caught his eye in an effort to help guide Lucy. “Do you see that? Over at the bottom over there.” It was pretty far back, closer to the wall of the cabin than from where they stood. Just below the window.

♫: Most played song this week?

Figment of My Mind by Bruno Major. I've actually been listening to him a lot since I discovered him a few weeks ago. Wonderful artist, really.

❣ : Are you happy single or do you wish you were in a relationship?

Erm... well, you know what they say, be happy where you are and all that.

She smiled sheepishly, clicking her tongue as if the fact was disappointing, though the grin on her face made it clear that it was flattering. “I’m not intimidating- and surely not to a house captain,” she insisted, though she liked the thought of it. Andrea Pearson was intimidating. She could stare people down, shut people up, challenge people in a way that made them inherently respect her. Kat envied that, though she was loath to say so. “-besides, you can’t be nervous when there’s nobody around- only the trees know,” she insisted and she liked the thought of that, in fact. Maybe she couldn’t say anything embarrassing or stupid or lame if there was only Damian and the hardwood forest to hear it, knowing neither of them would judge her cruelly like some other students did.

“I knew it,” she chimed as if she’d actually come to any meaningful conclusion whatsoever regarding his birthday. “I’m just intuitive, you know,” she assured him, tapping her temple lightly with the tip of her index finger , “I can sense things,” she added, which was ironic considering how desperately she wished she could understand what Damian was thinking and feeling, better yet if she could read his thoughts. “April nineteen,” she repeated, hoping it would embed itself in her memory somewhere by the time the date rolled around or came close again. “I won’t forget it now,” she promised, though there was every chance she’d forget it even before the week was through.

†

“And the trees will keep my secrets, yeah?” Damian spared a glance at the hardwoods around them again. “Same as the plants in the garden.” Though Damian hasn’t visited the garden in a long while. Since the cicada infestation they’ve had to deal with, the ivies have become rather overgrown and less inviting. Besides, time on campus was a luxury now. He didn’t want to waste it surrounding himself with green when green was all he had to return to once he’d step off the bus later in the day. Damian spent his spare time in the library now, making the most of the internet connection and silence.

“Oh yeah, incredibly attuned,” Damian assured in jest with a nod, pulling his features to look somewhat serious. “The most instinctive.” He smiled at Kat. It was nice to joke around after a stint of something so heavy. He wished it could be like this all the time. Sometimes it felt like he was only waiting for things to turn sour again, as if nothing that felt good could stay good for long. “I’ll keep you to that, December 12th.” He pointed at her jokingly with one hand and nudged into her arm with his own as they continued on in their walk.

“What else don’t I know about you...” He wondered aloud. Damian thought of Kat’s school email and remembered the ‘j’ and how he didn’t know what it stood for. “What’s your middle name?”

☠ : What is the worst thing about sharing a cabin room?

“Oh yeah, that’s true- good memory,” maybe he hadn’t remembered her birthday but the fact that he’d managed to remember her school I.D. was pretty impressive. Despite the fact that Jay had stolen several of her I.D. cards she was pretty sure he didn’t know what her intranet username was. She laughed aloud, thinking it was as amusing as it was adorable that he was trying to make up for the fact that he’d guessed her birthday wrong, even though she was pretty sure she’d never explicitly told him before, “As if you get performance anxiety- I don’t believe that. I’ve seen you swim and I’ve seen you give speeches at school,” she insisted confidently. In fact, his anxiety over being good enough for her was truthfully the only time she’d seen a real crack in his resolve without some sort of traumatic event triggering it and she was surprised to see it at all, truth be told.

“Mmmm,” she hummed, a pensive expression consuming her features, “Well I know that it’s in a month of the year and on a day, ” she assured him playfully, buying herself a little time as she filtered through the countless logs of her memory bank, trying to find any sort of reference to his birthday. “That’s right, isn’t it?” she asked cheekily, taking a moment more to consider things. She was pretty sure it was during the school year, she could picture Faith with balloons, whether it was a memory or a realistic assumption. “Yep- nope, I don’t know, I have no idea,” she confessed with a laugh, “-but I do know that you have one. I know you have a birthday, so that’s a start,” she joked in an effort to salvage her efforts.

†

True. Damian didn’t get performance anxiety. Performing came naturally to him actually. It was sort of his one advantage over his siblings. While they were more academically-inclined and held flawless GPAs, Damian didn’t freeze when you put him in the middle of an audience. He could be warm and inviting, confident and assured in a blink. "Maybe you just make me nervous,” Damian told Kat, pairing the charming curve of his lips with a cheeky tilt of his head in her direction.

Damian watched in amusement as Kat worked her way around giving an answer she obviously didn’t know. He found it rather adorable and played along, nodding here and there when Kat said it was in a month of the year and on a day. “You aren’t wrong,” he quipped with a chuckle. The center of his chest felt far too warm watching her. “I do have one. And it’s on the 19th.” He contemplated if he was going to let her guess which month. “April,” he then added because he felt it’d be far too much to let Kat guess which of the twelve months it fell on exactly. “But you were close,” he continued on, obviously joking because Kat didn’t come anywhere near a proper guess, “a day on a month in a year, very close actually.” He couldn’t help but break out in a big laugh that had him leaning forward; the grin on his lips could have probably split his face in half.

♨ : If you could only eat one type of campfire food for the rest of the year, what would you pick?

Some sort of meat on a stick, I suppose... Uncomplicated and it would help me get my protein in. Though, not hot dogs. Those are gross and I don’t know what’s in them. Proper sausages are fine. I would prefer just chunks of real meat though. None of the processed nonsense where you’re not sure what cut of meat it is.

☸ : If you could be anywhere else in the world right now, where would you be?

If not Ouchy then, I’ve recently seen a video about those tree hotels in Sweden. I actually think it’s called Treehotel. Impeccable architecture. I wouldn’t mind being there. I’ve never been.

☺ : If Father D told you that you had to become friends with somebody you can’t stand in order to graduate, who would you become friends with and how would you do it?  

“Yeah,” she smiled to herself, privately charmed by the way he responded to her in such a knowing manner. She was pretty sure she could say the same handful of untranslatable Nordic words to Jay a billion and one times and he still wouldn’t recall any of them or any of their meanings when asked. “I think our cabins are a bit hyggelig,” she noted, though there was something admittedly very unhyggelig about spider webs, dust balls and stinky moss, “With a bit of love, I think they could be nice, actually,” she suggested, though she doubted they would be there for long enough to see the cabins experience any sort of renaissance. 

Her smile lit up, she loved the thought of being ‘really impressive’ in any way shape or form and admittedly, it wasn’t something she experienced often. Sure, people often made fun of her telling her how ‘amazing’ it was how much she could say about things she knew nothing about or how ‘impressive’ her volume and high pitch could be but they never meant it like Damian did. “Yep, it’s true,” she chimed with a small laugh, trying her best to hold a straight face. “-and probably instead of smacking a baby on the butt, they just make sure we know how to tie a cleat hitch when we’re born, I think,” she added with a chuckle, at least that was her experience and though her youngest sister didn’t know her multiplication tables yet, she knew how to tie their boat up.

“Oh my God, wow, that’s so close,” she was incredibly impressed, given that there must have been something like a one in thirty one chance of him getting her birthday right. She wasn’t sure what sort of a percentage that was and she had no idea how to work it out but she found it impressive either way. “-That’s so good- but it’s twelve,” she spoke as if he’d gotten it right on the first try, even while she corrected him, further proof that Katherine Bishop truly wasn’t all that difficult to please.

†

That was where Damian had to disagree. There was no way those cabins could be hyggelig. In fact, those cabins were the furthest from ‘coziness of the soul’ Damian could think of. Well, perhaps the outhouse one upped it. “Sure,” Damian said instead of any of the things he was thinking. “Bit of rebuilding here, fresh coat of paint there. Maybe a thorough dusting...” The least one could do short of tearing the entirely structure down. Damian was trying to be doubly positive here for Kat’s sake.

The Fenwick captain blinked in surprise at Kat’s reaction to his guess. It was unexpectedly enthusiastic for a wrong answer. “Oh.” Twelve! Wait. “Oh no, wait, I knew that.” He didn’t until he did anyways. Not that that made any sense. “You gave me your school email once. kjbis1212. It was right there. I knew it, I just... didn’t remember I think.” He scratched the side of his head with his free hand. “I was on the spot, it was performance anxiety, I don’t know,” he defended himself jokingly. “12th of December. I won’t forget it next time.”

He let them get a couple of steps further into the woods before he thought to ask, “Do you know my birthday?” A test for her now. Damian even raised a brow to tease her.