//Read below the cut if youāre interested in my attempting to make a comeback to J. Iād also appreciate a like just to show me whoās still active/interested in writing together.
So. I donāt even know where to begin. First, Iād like to say a big thank you to my friends on here who sent me messages of support when all this shit first went down, the ones who kept sending them here just to say they missed me (seriously, I teared up seeing them), & the people I talked to on/off in the first few weeks of leaving here. To those peeps, Iād also like to say a big, soppy sorry for suddenly going ghost & leaving you potentially worried about me. That was never my intention, I just got so overwhelmed by everything happening in my life. A lot of sad shit began to happen to me so I ghosted most of the world tbh.
In case you donāt remember, the whole reason things went south for me was my motherās terminal cancer. It began in her bowel, only noticed by doctors during an operation unrelated to anything nasty, and it was already at Stage 5. Chemotherapy did nothing but slow down the rate it was spreading through her body & also make her sicker, to the point she just told chemo to fuck off. That was about two years ago.
She died last month in her sleep. She was mostly bedridden, in a lot of pain, & as the cancer began eating at her brain, her memories were all in a jumble. We had a lovely, small ceremony in which she was cremated whileĀ āYellowā by Coldplay blared.
Last year my older dog, Whookie, died unexpectedly after a surgery. Several of my rats died from old age in quick succession. My Nan died too after a long battle. A cousin in the UK was sent to prison for manslaughter. I fell out for a long time with a cousin here in Ireland.
Lotta shit.Ā I did warn you. Of course, my grieving for my mum is only kinda hitting me hard now but, without making this post too long, some good things have happened since as well. One of those things was being surprised with a new puppy I called Ptolemy but we call her MiMi for short. & more rats... more crazy, cuddly rats.
But Iām going to try come back here. Itāll be tough going, particularly since itās changed a lot on here (help an old man out, Iām struggling with changing shit on my dash). But I want to distract & be creative again. I want to begin grieving so I can begin healing. So you might see me here & there in between tearing my hair out at editing stuff. I love you all & hope time has been kind to each of you. Thank you for not giving up on me.
Quick edit: I've archived this blog & began a new one which is currently still being set up, but please feel free to follow it @damagedsmile












