Johan Kharab

every morning i wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made

*puts my whole heart into the bj*

*walks up to manager* Buoss can I leave now. Reason: So Scary, and i’m So Scareds,

im just a small guy crawling around in your carpet using my tiny machete to cut through the fibers but suddenyl i get war bombed by falling bed crumbs and you dont know a thing

you just dont see guys walking around wearing nothing but a barrel held up by suspenders any more

i love when they draw a carrot on top of the carrot cake just to remind you this aint no ordinary fuckin cake youre dealing with

What employers need to understand about me is that I do my thing

i get what dads r talking abt when they say theyre “just resting their eyes” this shit is awesome

im like no worries & then feel so upset i get chest pains

i’m like “i don’t give a fuck” & then have an anxiety attack

wrong answers only: why are you autistic

Don’t mind me, getting emotional about a tumblr post of emojis

might drive my chevy to the levy. it better not be dry tho

you guys won't fucking believe this