Larry Daley @daley-devices - Tumblr Blog

He-ey, Nick, buddy.

You love me, right? You love you're old man. Don't you? And you- you'd never be mad at him, yeah? *Smiles nervously.*

Um, no I guess I wouldn’t be mad, not really, but I… I don’t understand what— Dad, why’re you asking me this? What’s happened??

daley-devices

Okay, calm down! Let's all just breathe. And then breathe. And then breathe again.

So, quick backstory. Dr McPhee told me that we should hire a night janitor with the amount of mess I make. Even though its not my mess, it's the exhibits! But I couldnt say that in front of him...

So I thought we were havng some pally-pally boss to employee banter. And I said jokingly- it was very obvious I was joking, I was using sarcasm and everything- that that janitor could be you because you're so used to 'my' messy ways.

And McPhee said that was a great idea.

So, uh, surprise! You have a job just for this week! Y-yay?

nicholasdaily

…

Hah! Hahaha! Ohh, you’re hilarious. Because that’s a joke, right?

Right??

Dad, I can’t just work the night shift! I’ve got other things to do! Like, uh, studying and sleeping and chores and sleeping… Did I mention sleeping? I’ve got a packed schedule. And I love the exhibits, alright? I do! But you’ve seen the mess they make. Cleaning will take forever.

Can’t you tell McPhee something like you’ve changed your mind? Y’know, Al from down the hall was talking about getting a job! Why not ask him? He wouldn’t mind some extra cash.

…actually, er… totally unrelated but how much is the pay?

daley-devices

I know! I know its- alot. And Al doesn't know about the exhibits- who knows how he'll react if he finally knows about them coming to life- this is too much knowing.

You'll be getting paid 5 dollars an hour- wait. *I read the fine print of the job form.* 5 dollars a night.

nicholasdaily

Five dollars a night?? In this economy?? Yeesh, do I at least get, like, employee benefits?

*He’s quiet for a minute, considering, then gives a shrug.* Alright, fine… but only because I’ve got an awesome new game to play with the exhibits! When do I start?

daley-devices

McPhee give employee benefits? Ha! Are we on the same planet right now?

But you start right this very second, kid! I even got you a name tag and everything.

Hey, wait- what new game are you thinking of playing? Because your games don't always end up being... safe. I mean, remember you're mammoth jousting?

#night at the museum #larry daley #natm

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What's the difference between you and @secretly-larry-daley?

Geez, uh, lemme put this into a metaphor. Me and and my other lovely Larry companion are like a spot the difference puzzle. Except there are no differences.

We're from alternative universes, different dimensions. We have, uh, somehow managed to break a time/space/thingy barrier.

But he's my best friend! Which is, uh, kinda funny, if you think about. It's also kinda sad too, having your best friend be yourself. Now we just need a third Larry to complete the trinity- then I can say 'me, myself and I'!

#night at the museum #larry daley #natm #ask larry #larryception

the-coolest-pharaoh

Thoughts on Mcphee?

He is….. I like his bowties!

daley-devices

One of his only redeeming features.

nicholasdaily

He-ey, Nick, buddy.

You love me, right? You love you're old man. Don't you? And you- you'd never be mad at him, yeah? *Smiles nervously.*

Um, no I guess I wouldn’t be mad, not really, but I… I don’t understand what— Dad, why’re you asking me this? What’s happened??

daley-devices

Okay, calm down! Let's all just breathe. And then breathe. And then breathe again.

So, quick backstory. Dr McPhee told me that we should hire a night janitor with the amount of mess I make. Even though its not my mess, it's the exhibits! But I couldnt say that in front of him...

So I thought we were havng some pally-pally boss to employee banter. And I said jokingly- it was very obvious I was joking, I was using sarcasm and everything- that that janitor could be you because you're so used to 'my' messy ways.

And McPhee said that was a great idea.

So, uh, surprise! You have a job just for this week! Y-yay?

nicholasdaily

…

Hah! Hahaha! Ohh, you’re hilarious. Because that’s a joke, right?

Right??

Dad, I can’t just work the night shift! I’ve got other things to do! Like, uh, studying and sleeping and chores and sleeping… Did I mention sleeping? I’ve got a packed schedule. And I love the exhibits, alright? I do! But you’ve seen the mess they make. Cleaning will take forever.

Can’t you tell McPhee something like you’ve changed your mind? Y’know, Al from down the hall was talking about getting a job! Why not ask him? He wouldn’t mind some extra cash.

…actually, er… totally unrelated but how much is the pay?

daley-devices

I know! I know its- alot. And Al doesn't know about the exhibits- who knows how he'll react if he finally knows about them coming to life- this is too much knowing.

You'll be getting paid 5 dollars an hour- wait. *I read the fine print of the job form.* 5 dollars a night.

#night at the museum #larry daley #natm #ask box open

nicholasdaily

He-ey, Nick, buddy.

You love me, right? You love you're old man. Don't you? And you- you'd never be mad at him, yeah? *Smiles nervously.*

Um, no I guess I wouldn’t be mad, not really, but I… I don’t understand what— Dad, why’re you asking me this? What’s happened??

daley-devices

Okay, calm down! Let's all just breathe. And then breathe. And then breathe again.

So, quick backstory. Dr McPhee told me that we should hire a night janitor with the amount of mess I make. Even though its not my mess, it's the exhibits! But I couldnt say that in front of him...

So I thought we were havng some pally-pally boss to employee banter. And I said jokingly- it was very obvious I was joking, I was using sarcasm and everything- that that janitor could be you because you're so used to 'my' messy ways.

And McPhee said that was a great idea.

So, uh, surprise! You have a job just for this week! Y-yay?

#night at the museum #larry daley #nick daley

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nicholasdaily

Hey, champ! Got a special little gift for my special little guy! Hope you like it.

Well, what do you think? Do you like it? I've really outdone myself this year.

Dad, you really didn’t have to— Wait, what does it say?

My name is Nick and…

PFFT- BAHAHA I LOVE IT!! Ohh this is awesome and so weirdly specific, Dad. Did you custom order this??

Wait, wait, let me… *He pulled the shirt on over his sweater* There! Fits perfectly! Thanks, Dad.

Oh! And before I forget, I actually got you something too. *He hands over a poorly wrapped book titled Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes.* I figured, uh- Well I thought it was funny.

daley-devices

Oh, man! *Holds back laughter.*

It looks great on you, Nicky. I think you might become Mr Popular at school with that on- all the ladies will flock to you! And men aswell!

This for me? Buddy... you thought this was funny? I hate to break it to you, but- I LOVE IT!

You've given me too much power. You are so going to regret getting me this, you will never hear the end of my dad jokes! C'mere, sport! *Ruffles you hair.*

#night at the museum #larry daley #natm #nicky daley #thats so thoughtful of you im crying

daley-devices

Merry Christmas buddy! I got you a present :))

*pushes box towards you* I love you 😘

Awh, dude! You shouldn't have, man! This is why you're my favourite different-dimension Larry! Love you to bits! <3

O-oh! Here's yours! I couldn't wrap it, its a little big, but you deserve the best!

*Brings out a life-sized cardboard cutout of Taylor Swift.*

Now you don't need a therapist! You can just tell Taylor all your worries! Right, *Looks at my box.* what's in it?

secretly-larry-daley

Oh my god! I love it so much! I’ll put this with my “Everything that I love” shrine. *whispers* there’s a picture of you somewhere in it.

Anyway! Your gift. Inside issss tickets to Hawaii! I know you’ve been working super duper hard and you need a vacation. It’s even got some sunglasses and a beach hat too! Merry Christmas

daley-devices

Oh. My. God.

I think I'm tearing up. Look at my hands! Look! Literally shaking with joy right now. Oh, bestie- come here you! *BEAR HUG TIME*

I don't care if hugging you destroys the inter-dimensional space time continuum. I love you, bestie.

Finally, I can use my hula-skirt that I've been saving for an ocassion like this!

#night at the museum #larry daley #ask larry #larryception

Merry Christmas buddy! I got you a present :))

*pushes box towards you* I love you 😘

Awh, dude! You shouldn't have, man! This is why you're my favourite different-dimension Larry! Love you to bits! <3

O-oh! Here's yours! I couldn't wrap it, its a little big, but you deserve the best!

*Brings out a life-sized cardboard cutout of Taylor Swift.*

Now you don't need a therapist! You can just tell Taylor all your worries! Right, *Looks at my box.* what's in it?

#night at the museum #larry daley #ask larry #larryception #ADMIN: I LOVE YOU MAN

daley-devices

Dad, hey! Hey! I was on the subway earlier and I heard this great joke and I thought it was kinda funny. So I’m gonna tell you it! Okay, okay, so what did the horse say when he fell over?

“Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy-up”

Ha ha! Get it??

My own son, telling a dad joke? Ah, geez, I think I'm gonna cry. I can feel the waterworks coming alright, oh boy.

Luckily I bought a ton of extra tissues to clean up the water from last night's water gun fight. Why did a bunch of kids have to lose water guns at the museum? What ratty little kid brings a water gun to a museum, anyway? Of all the things to lose. If only I had found them first rather than the exhibits...

I am so proud. I could hug you. In fact, I will hug you! C'mere, buddy!

If you want to reach the, uh, next level of dad jokes, you're going to have to come up with your own material. You can't just keep NICKing other people's jokes.

Ha! See what I did there! That was- that was your name! In the joke! I made you a part of the joke!

I crack myself up sometimes.

nicholasdaily

Dad, we’ve gotta get you out of the house more often. Or maybe you need a new hobby! How about crocheting? I hear it’s really calming!

Because it’s not that the joke was bad, but it was definitely one of your cheesiest and I can’t help feeling like it’s a cry for help, you know? Maybe you really are losing your sanity working at the museum! Especially after the water gun fight which I am not at all salty about not being invited to-

Anyway. I’ll, uh, still take that hug though

daley-devices

Hey, I do get out of the house! I go to work, then I come back, then I sleep, then I go to work, then I come- oh. Oh god, I do need to get out of the house.

And, geez, it's not a cry for help. Nobody ever came so I gave up crying ages ago.

Now, as for my sanity; yes, it's gone. It's been gone for a while now. I thinks its been years since I've, uh, actually had any sanity.

How many years, though....? Hm... Oh! I know a way to find out. Nick, how old are you?

#night at the museum

What’s your favorite Christmas tradition?

Awh, god, I've got a lot. And you want me to narrow it down to one? I don't know, buddy, that'll be a little tough-

Decorating the tree! Every year I somehow manage to convince DrMcphee to let me bedazzle the tree at the museum. But it's not really me that does it, its the exhibits!

Its a traditional for me to collect the finest materials (anything that looks remotely Christmassy in the arts and crafts section at DollarTree) and let the exhibits go wild and make their own decorations.

You know, I, uh, actually made an invention for the sole purpose of making your very own, one-of-a-kind, personal ornament. I call it; the 'Auto-Ornament'.

If I was still in the business industry, I would probably be a billionaire right now. The exhibits are so lucky I care more about them than money.

Its basically a super-cool strong hole puncher that then automatically puts a piece of string through the hole its just made.

I was a fool to let Nicky use it. I turn my back for one second and suddenly Jedediah and Octavius are hanging from the tree with tiny paper halos and wings glued to them. Poor guys.

But, one of the main reasons I like decorating the tree is because of the ornaments I have at home. The snowman Nicky made in Kindergarten that looks like it just got out of prison, the family photo with Santa at the mall... memories. I like the memories.

#night at the museum #ask larry #larry daley #nick daley

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Dad, hey! Hey! I was on the subway earlier and I heard this great joke and I thought it was kinda funny. So I’m gonna tell you it! Okay, okay, so what did the horse say when he fell over?

“Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy-up”

Ha ha! Get it??

My own son, telling a dad joke? Ah, geez, I think I'm gonna cry. I can feel the waterworks coming alright, oh boy.

Luckily I bought a ton of extra tissues to clean up the water from last night's water gun fight. Why did a bunch of kids have to lose water guns at the museum? What ratty little kid brings a water gun to a museum, anyway? Of all the things to lose. If only I had found them first rather than the exhibits...

I am so proud. I could hug you. In fact, I will hug you! C'mere, buddy!

If you want to reach the, uh, next level of dad jokes, you're going to have to come up with your own material. You can't just keep NICKing other people's jokes.

Ha! See what I did there! That was- that was your name! In the joke! I made you a part of the joke!

I crack myself up sometimes.

#night at the museum #ask larry #natm #larry daley #nick daley

nicholasdaily

You passed the pizza test. (Thank you for answering, beware the haters though.)

This is great! I’m going to get a good grade in pizza opinions which is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

daley-devices

Make sure to get a good grade in school aswell! Don't want you slacking off on your homework. Erica will kill you, me and then me again if you don't pass algebra.

#night at the museum #natm #Nick daley #larry daley

daley-devices

This is a robbery again, hand over all your money 🔫

Again?

Sorry man, I'm not entirely sure but I think museum policy states that we can't give money to a random guy.

How about you take my sanity instead? Yeah? Wait, hold on, I think this job took that already-

O-okay! Woah, woah! Maybe- maybe don't wave that gun around! ... That gun that looks exactly like the cowboy-oldy-woldy-western water guns we sell at the gift shop!

Well, museum policy also states that jokesters like you get to meet a real-life dinosuar! That's right!

I think you, uh, might want to start running.

Sock 'em, Rexy!

princess-bahiti

*I walk into the room*

………….

*I walk back out*

daley-devices

Sorry, Princess! Just a normal night at the museum, am I right?

princess-bahiti

The problem is that THIS IS NORMAL! I’m going to bed. I do not understand commoners sometimes.

daley-devices

Yeesh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the sarcophagus.

#night at the museum #oc rp #larry daley

daley-devices

This is a robbery again, hand over all your money 🔫

Again?

Sorry man, I'm not entirely sure but I think museum policy states that we can't give money to a random guy.

How about you take my sanity instead? Yeah? Wait, hold on, I think this job took that already-

O-okay! Woah, woah! Maybe- maybe don't wave that gun around! ... That gun that looks exactly like the cowboy-oldy-woldy-western water guns we sell at the gift shop!

Well, museum policy also states that jokesters like you get to meet a real-life dinosuar! That's right!

I think you, uh, might want to start running.

Sock 'em, Rexy!

princess-bahiti

*I walk into the room*

………….

*I walk back out*

daley-devices

Sorry, Princess! Just a normal night at the museum, am I right?

#night at the museum #oc rp #larry daley

This is a robbery again, hand over all your money 🔫

Again?

Sorry man, I'm not entirely sure but I think museum policy states that we can't give money to a random guy.

How about you take my sanity instead? Yeah? Wait, hold on, I think this job took that already-

O-okay! Woah, woah! Maybe- maybe don't wave that gun around! ... That gun that looks exactly like the cowboy-oldy-woldy-western water guns we sell at the gift shop!

Well, museum policy also states that jokesters like you get to meet a real-life dinosuar! That's right!

I think you, uh, might want to start running.

Sock 'em, Rexy!

#night at the museum #ask larry #larry daley #natm #rexy natm

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Dude I hate soap that looks like food because my friend made me the same thing and I ate it. It’s a universal problem. Did YOU try to eat the soap too or did Erica tell you what it was

Me? Eat soap? Ha! Why would you- why would you even assume that I'd- yeah. I ate the soap.

Erica was making dinner so she kinda just shoved the bag into my hands. And, you know, I was, uh, hungry. And they smelt and looked exactly like cupcakes!

Well, not exactly, Erica's not that good yet.

Geez, maybe me and Laa aren't that different after all. We both look alike, we've both eaten soap...

But if you've eaten soap as well, Anon, then I don't feel as bad. We can start a Soap-Eaters-Anonymous together.

#night at the museum #larry daley #ask larry #natm

Hey other me, could you check up on Steve? Me and my Ahk are on a dat- I mean outing. I don’t want to come back to see the museum a wreck.

Oh, sure thing, bud! Anything for you. Or should I say, anything for me. Ha ha, aha... ha.

I'll check up on Steve, I'll make sure he hasn't been mauled by the lions- not that that would happen. It could, but it would never-

Yeah. Hope you have a, uh, good time on your 'outing'. Spill all the tea when you come back, bestie!

Yes Daley, look at you using all the cool and hip language.

#night at the museum #ask larry #larry daley #natm #larryception

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