Dirk dug his fist into his cheek, rubbing his knuckles against the bone just to feel something other than annoyance. Keeping his composure was difficult, which as a Strider it shouldn't ever be, adding to his inward agitation. His poker face was slipping, inch by inch, because of his eternally devastating little brother.
He was a good bro, he'd listen to his woes, but holy fuck did it make him goddamn crazy.
Dave's "boyfriend" was a total waste of space loser, who frankly didn't deserve to breathe the same air, let alone smear his grubby little hands all over Dave's perfect pale skin. Dirk had seen them together, holding hands, cuddling, they just didn't fit. It was nauseating. Dave's fingers were lithe and slender, and his "boyfriend's" were stubby, blunt, and small. He'd putter around the apartment and Dirk would have to clean after he left, somehow the surfaces he touched were always sticky, it was foul.
Dirk had no idea how Dave could stand him, let alone be touched by him, and here he was, on his fifth rant of the week about the very unworthy being he kept in his orbit. He sighed and let his bro's voice wash over him, trying and failing to gather his patience.
"I don't know why I even let him get his mouth down there bro, I keep tellin' him I don't need or want oral, that it feels bad, but he keeps insisting! Keeps sayin' this time it'll be different, but no it's always so much goddamn teeth and I--"
Eventually it just became too much.
"Why are you even dating this guy, if he can't even eat your ass without scarring you for life?" Dirk drawled, officially at his limit.
Dave blinked in shock behind his shades, obviously assuming Dirk had tuned him out long ago. Wrong. "I uh, well I love him of course? I mean, sex isn't everything--"
"No. Sex is the foundation to every relationship. If you aren't compatible in the sack then you ain't fuckin' dating. You're friends who kiss, maybe." Dirk frowned deeply as Dave stared at him, slackjawed and stupid looking. "You seriously don't think you like oral? You don't like getting head? No one has ever given you decent head before?"
His little bro seemed caught out by that, awkwardly shifting where he stood and struggling to maintain eye contact before looking away. "Uh, No? Guess not."
Dirk leaned back into the futon and propped an arm over the cushions, knowing the action would make his muscles stand out all the more obviously. "Tell me what it felt like, was it overwhelming? Or did it just hurt?"
"I mean." Dave swallowed, then looked furtively back up at him. "I guess it'd feel... good for a bit, but then be like. Y'know. Ouch?"
"Ouch." Dirk said flatly. "What, was he chomping on your dick? With troll teeth? Y'know they got a word for that, right?"
"Yeah it's uh, Karkat's favorite word actually." Dave chuckled in a stilted way that honestly insulted the concept of laughter. "He'd try it uh, y'know, eating me out but I guess he just really likes to use those chompers."
It was at that point that Dirk felt emotions he wasn't sure a human was designed to feel. His heartbeat was slowing down, and it was like his entire being became overwhelmed with a sense of calm clarity. Dave babbled more about the various ways his piece of shit hanger-on would ape sexual stimulation with all the grace and cunning of a drunk toddler, and Dirk knew in his heart of hearts he was outside the reasonable parameters for tolerance. Truly he could not be blamed for whatever happened next, it was out of his hands and out of his control.
That troll used his teeth on his precious little brother. Gave him sex so terrible he thought he didn't even like it. There was only one solution, it was all too clear.
Dirk stood up and prowled to his bro with all the lithe grace of a predator that had his prey in his sights. Dave was instantly on guard, backing up hastily until his back hit the wall, but Dirk kept coming until they were chest to chest. He looked down, a slow dip of his chin, and stared right into his bro's bright red eyes. His shades offered no shielding this close, no protection, and Dirk tapped them with a finger, stowing them in his sylladex.
Dave jerked backwards, thunking his head into the wall, and he grunted. His eyes squeezed shut as his face twisted, and Dirk greedily drank in his natural good looks. Pretty face, pretty skin, scars that only accentuated his features, and a blush staining high cheekbones. His lil bro could never make a face that ruined how gorgeous he was, Dirk was sure of it.
"What are you doing, bro?" He whispered, his voice shaking around the edges.
"Showing you--" Dirk leaned in just enough for his mouth to brush against Dave's ear. "What it's supposed to feel like."
He stood there for a bit, waiting for his bro to stop him, back out, show any signs of a lack of interest. That didn't happen. "Well bro? Don't want me to?"
Dave just looked up at him with the biggest eyes and swallowed, a deep flush on his face. His fingers tangled at the hem of Dirk's tanktop, quietly desperate, and who was Dirk to pick on someone so shy? It was sweet, he'd made his bro all submissive, and he wasn't the kind of asshole to leave him hanging. Dirk let his lips pull up into a slight smirk and kneeled between his bro's legs, watching them spread further apart without any prompting.
Dirk was a good brother, he'd show his li'l bro how things were supposed to be, help him fix his standards. It was only right.
