– & I'm a mess right now.

“To each their own,” Edgar shrugged. “Honestly, food is just my favorite no matter what. I’m always sad when I go home because the meals are little in comparison to what I’m used to here.”

Daisy agreed with a nod of her head. She liked to sneak into the kitchens late at night and cook up some pancakes whenever she had the craving. She had become friendly with most of the house elves. She laughed, “I know what you mean. My family meals at home are nothing compared to the feasts here. I honestly miss it when I’m gone. I don’t think I’m going to go home at Christmas, just because I don’t want to miss the feast.” 

Edgar laughed. “Nothing wrong with no shame. Some people here wear it like its black and white attire. But, I have to disagree. While I love breakfast, nothing beats a hearty winter meal. Throw some pickled cranberries on a honey ham and load that shit with some mashed potatoes and carrots. I love having a bubble gut before I go to bed.”

“That’s true, actually,” Daisy replied with a small laugh. Her eyes widened at his comment and she shook her head. “That actually sounds really good, but breakfast will forever be my favorite. You can’t convince me otherwise.” 

“That they can. Ravenclaws like me, are addicted to succeeding and being better than everyone.”  He didn’t know what he wanted to do, but he knew he could use a smoke about now. He was just so tired with dealing with a lot of things and he slightly had girl problems, although he didn’t want to admit he did.

He smiled at her. “Oh right, me neither.”  He shook his head. “Of course not. I’m looking forward to it. I’m totally rewarding myself when we pull this off with either a cigarette or a joint, and I’m not even going to lecture myself.”

“That’s very true. I’ve heard that Hufflepuff’s are addicted to being friendly, but I don’t know what that means. I don’t think I’m all that friendly, but I’m not sure,” she replied with a shrug. She looked over at Barty and asked, “Something else going on? You can tell me if you want.” 

She chuckled, “Good to know. I’m actually kind of looking forward to this. It’ll be exciting.” Daisy chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully and ignored the small urge she got for a cigarette. However, she nodded, “I have some stuff in my dorm.” 

“Me as well. Do you have any idea what you’d like to do after Hogwarts?” He asked. Himself, he’d likely become a mediwizard. Nothing was set in stone, of course, but he liked helping people, and he was good with the healing he’d done previously. Perhaps it would be a good fit.

“I have no idea. Not the slightest,” Daisy replied with a shrug of her shoulders and a confused expression. She hadn’t really thought about it and when she did, it only made her more anxious. She wasn’t particularly good at anything or at least, that was what she thought. She looked over at Josiah, “What about you? Any plans?” 

“Well yes, that’s true. But, I think a lot of things are like that.” He had things that he didn’t like about himself, vices. He enjoyed smoking, and not the typical type of cigarette, either. But, he didn’t really get to do that with anyone, so he avoided it, sometimes. He smiled at her. “No problem.”

He nodded. “Yeah, let’s do that.” He was overly studious, but sometimes, he got in his mind to do something completely reckless and not care. Annoying Slughorn was one of his favorite things to do. “You’re not nervous, right?”

“That’s true. Alcohol is too. Many things can be addicting,” she replied with a slightly sad smile. Her relationship or whatever it was - with Walden was addicting. She really wanted a cigarette or a joint now. She knew she’d have to abstain, but it was just so difficult. 

She giggled and bumped her shoulder into his in a friendly gesture, “No, of course not. I’m never nervous.” She was always anxious, but being nervous was an entirely different matter. “Why are you nervous?” 

Amycus just wanted to do something fun. He didn’t really care what. That’s the last thing he cared about.  “Fire is definitely fun. I think we should set it somewhere, where it affects people’s lives. That’s what I think, but not hurt them, since you seem to be against that.”

Daisy wasn’t really sure why she was still standing there interacting with Amycus. She knew it wouldn’t end well, no matter what they did. Boredom was a powerful thing, especially when she was trying to abstain from drugs. It made her want to do literally anything else. She shrugged, “Alright. Where do you think we should set it? I don’t mind affecting people’s lives.” She thought for a moment before replying, “I’m not against it. I just don’t enjoy hurting innocent people who don’t deserve it.” 

Josiah gave a nod. He didn’t think studying more was going to help the drug problem, but he kept his mouth shut. “Of course,” he replied with a smile. “I never get sick of this view, honestly. I’ve been here a hundred times and it never grows tiresome.

Daisy didn’t know what would help her drug problem, but she supposed she’d find out eventually. Just quitting cold turkey had worked so far, but she could feel the urges sneaking up on her and she didn’t know how strong she was. She didn’t know if she’d be able to fight that temptation. Her hazel eyes looked out at the lake and she nodded, “I’m honestly going to miss it when I graduate. It’s so beautiful.” 

“I’m hardly that great but why don’t we say we’re the best Hufflepuffs we know. I mean we are pretty fantastic.” She giggled as she reached the end of the second braid and secured it with a hair tie. “You know it’s a lot harder to see the good things about a relationship but I don’t think you’d still be with him if there wasn’t something else there. Besides, we both know you could kick his ass to the curb at any time and someone else would be waiting to take his place.” Daisy, whether she knew it or not, was rather stunning and Amalia was sure that she had spoken truth. “But don’t let what others are telling you influence you too much, okay? Everyone here thinks they know everything about everyone when it’s all simple snapshots of a bigger picture that not everyone gets to see.”

The smile that had appeared before maintained its presence as she moved to sit next to her friend, “our skin is going to thank us so much after this. Winter is nice and all but it’s horrible on my skin.” She took out her wand and summoned the small container with the pre-prepared face mask and looked at Daisy. “We must do this every week or until we get too busy with the upcoming exams.” 

“We are definitely fantastic. I think we’ll tie for the best Hufflepuffs. Sounds good to me,” Daisy replied with a laugh. She frowned slightly at the thought of Walden. Since their last fight, she hadn’t seen him since. He had been MIA and she didn’t know where they would stand when she saw him again. Their fight had been bad and the end had been weird; she wasn’t sure what would happen. She sighed, but smiled slightly, “Our last fight was just odd and I haven’t seen him since. I don’t know. Maybe it’s time to end it? I don’t think that it’s doing anything good for my mental health. What do you think I should do?” She trusted Amalia and knew that the girl would give her good advice. 

Daisy bumped Amalia’s shoulder with her own in a friendly gesture and grinned at her friend. “I know. My skin is so dry, this is going to work wonders.” She took a glob of the face masks and began to spread it on her face evenly, before replying, “Agreed. But we have to promise to relax during exams too or we’ll be completely miserable.” 

He smiled at her. “Cigarettes can be fun, especially the fun kind, that are not just normal ones, you know.”  He didn’t want to think about his father. He never did ready.  He smiled at her words. “Thank you. I’ll figure it out. You know, I’m pretty sure you’ll be great at anything you do, too.”

He just was feeling the need to do something reckless, something that didn’t confuse him.  “Well that’s definitely a good combination. People who are one of each other’s favorite people should always spend time together. Yes, let’s. If one of us makes a run for it, we follow the other. I’m convinced we can be dangerous and rebellious.”

“They’re always fun and that’s the problem. They can be addicting,” she warned with a concerned smile. Addiction wasn’t something she wanted to talk about, but it was something she’d try to prevent in her friends. Especially Barty. He was too good to be dragged down by drugs. She nodded, “I know you will. And thanks, Barty.” 

She tapped her chin and thought about what kind of mischief they could stir up. Together they would be unstoppable and she couldn’t wait to see what would happen. “Alright. I’m convinced. Not that I needed much convincing. Let’s go cause this trouble.” 

Amycus had a lot on his mind, of late. Alice confused him, and just, he had a lot happening in general. So, he wasn’t in the mood to really go torture someone. It just wasn’t his mindset for the night, anyway.  He shrugged. “Fire can be fun, especially the more powerful fires. I am definitely a big fan of those. Small fires, just get boring.”

Daisy needed something to help get the drugs off her mind. Doing her homework was what she needed to do, but it was so boring and it didn’t get her mind of what she actually wanted to do. This? Setting a fire, causing trouble? It could help. She doubted it would help her anxiety, but it’d at least get her mind off of it. She smiled, “Fire is always fun. Where are we setting this fire?”

“I think, if you need a tutor, I’m glad to help. Though, I can’t say Transfiguration is my forte. But, yes, studying would be a proactive hobby.” He rolled his eyes playfully at her. “Of course.” He smiled. He didn’t need to elaborate, but it felt fitting in the situation. “I really care about people. Probably more than I should, but… Really, I am here if you need it. And I’m an excellent secret keeper.”

“Thank you for the offer. I’ll let you know when I need help. I think if I just focus more on studying, that’ll probably help the most,” Daisy murmured with a shrug. She looked out at the lake and rolled her shoulders back as she relaxed. A cigarette would have made the situation better, but she was trying her best to abstain as annoying as it was. She smiled, “Thanks. Really. It’s nice to know.” 

“You learn to love someone, unless you know they’re really horrible then it might be harder. I don’t think my parents would do that to me, the picking someone completely horrible part not the arranged marriage bit. That’s always going to happen.” Content with the sectioning of the remaining hair, she began to braid Daisy’s hair once more. “I can see how it would seem really weird to someone on the outside and I don’t blame you for thinking it’s weird, it kinda of is.” As much as she was willing to uphold tradition, she wasn’t beyond pointing out the oddities that she had grown up with. 

“Daisy you are so good to me, honestly the best Hufflepuff that I know.” She was completely serious, if she could choose between Daisy and her old dorm mate at Beauxbatons, she’d pick Daisy in a second. Once more, she was glad that her friend couldn’t see her as she continued to braid her hair. Her suggestion had been intended to help not to put focus on the lack of knowledge over McNair the other had. “You know, I don’t think a lot of people know their boyfriend or girlfriend’s favorite food. Hard thing to figure out, food and all.” She nodded to herself, hoping that it would help. “What makes you think he doesn’t care besides the fighting. Some guys just don’t know how to show that they care about someone, that’s what makes them so weird.” Was she doing the wrong thing by encouraging her friend to possibly stay in an unhealthy relationship? Amalia wasn’t so sure the answer was that simple. “Oh! I made avocado face masks earlier today for tonight. You should have seen how upset the House Elves got when they realized I wasn’t using it for food. You would think they’d be use to it by now.”

“You’re a much better Hufflepuff, Amalia. You’re great and a good friend,” Daisy replied with a genuine smile and a content sigh. She wrapped her hands together in her lap and began to rub her hands together anxiously. Her relationship with Walden had always been complicated, but she never realized how toxic until just recently. The drugs always dulled everything and without them, she was able to see just how toxic they were for each other. She didn’t know what to do, though. Part of her actually cared for him. She raised her shoulder in a shrug, “I’m not sure. I guess not ever actually being in a real relationship doesn’t help me much. All we do is fight or have sex. There’s nothing meaningful there.” 

She giggled when her friend mentioned the avocado masks and the house elves. They were always angry with the two of them for using the food for other means. Usually for beauty. “That sounds amazing. We have to start doing girl’s night at least once a week.” 

He shrugged. “I don’t really care. Impressing him doesn’t matter to me, all that much. He can do what he want. He’ll get his eventually.”  He just wanted to make him pay for years of rejection and he didn’t.  “That’s true. Well, I still have the rest of this year and next year, but soon enough. I’m going to do things that aren’t on my parents’ plans for me, that’s for sure.” 

He smirked at her. “Me neither. I like irritating him, if I’m honest, and you are one of my favorite people, so I bet we can really make him angry.”

“You’re probably right. Anyways, let’s stop talking about our parents. It’s too much of a drag. Makes me want a cigarette,” she murmured, wrinkling her nose. Her parents only worsened her anxiety and reminded her of her older brothers that had been killed. She patted his shoulder, “Whatever you do, I know you’ll be great.” 

Daisy knew that they were playing with fire, both figuratively and literally, but she needed something to occupy her time. She returned his smirk, “You’re one of my favorite people, too, and I agree. Let’s do this.” 

Amycus tended to do whatever to stay busy. There was nothing wrong with that, and if there was, well he didn’t care, anyway.  “Yeah, we definitely will. Any idea? I don’t really see you as the type to wait around and look for first years to torture. That can bide time, but only in the right company.”

Daisy knew that she needed to find an actual hobby. She had been in the self destructive mindset for too long. Her relationship with Walden, her ditching class, her drug use - all destructive and destroying her. She couldn’t do it for much longer, but it was difficult to just stop all together. She shook her head, “I’m not interested in torturing anyone, no, but I’m sure there’s something else we could do. We could...” She paused and thought about what they could do, “Set something on fire?” 

“I’m not an expert, but that could help, as well.” He wanted to ask her how it was going, when the last time was that she had taken anything, but thought it better not to pry. Josiah smiled at her. “Well, I’m always available, if you ever need a friend.” It was something he’d offered many times, and something he meant every time.

“I hope so. I’m falling behind on my school work, so maybe I should take that up as a hobby, what do you think?” She was teasing and it was obvious by the smile on her face. Daisy liked that Josiah wasn’t trying to pry even though she was pretty much telling him everything and anything he wanted to know. There wasn’t much that she kept hidden; only her anxieties and the death of her brothers. Probably the most important things. She smiled back, “Thanks. That’s nice of you.”