lazy daisy

"Our box, Mama?" You suggested when noting your own discomfort.

Your mother hummed in agreement as you both made your way to the box the opera house gifted you for your late father's donations. He always was such a devotee to the arts...

"Lady L/N!" Lady Seon called out to your mother. "Do join us!"

Lady Seon stood beside Her Majesty. You felt your stomach churn, flipping like an acrobat in hopes of making a shilling or two on the street. And your sudden increase in unease was not so unjustified, for the queen sent a gaze to her servants upon taking in your presence.

Your mother took hold of your hand. Her eyes were hopeful, yet you could not feel the same faith as she as you both made your way towards her. You both curtsied before her, a similar feeling to the day of your presentation filling you.

"Your Majesty, good evening," Your mother greeted charmingly. "You must remember my daughter, Y/N."

"Yes, she made quite the impression..." The queen spoke plainly. She turned to her secretary. "However fleeting it may have been."

If your stomach had been spinning before, it was now completely halted. You felt as though a wave of hot embarrassment had washed over you, causing the temperature in your cheeks to rise. You watched in complete mortification as she moved towards her special box, not evening having the strength to curtsy once again.

Lady Seon, seemingly unfazed by such an event, turned towards you, speaking with dictate, "I would like to welcome you both to my box this evening. I insist."

Lady Seon, while not of much title, was a woman who held an air of respect. For some, people offered a false regard due to her raising a duke and then letting six other hellions run rampant through her estate, and hoped that perhaps an alliance with her might increase their daughter's chance at a fortunate marriage. For others, they simply feared being on the bad side of a woman who had enough gaul to speak up without fear of consequence.

You just knew her as a family friend, though. So accepting such an offer was only instinct.

Trailing behind Lady Seon and your mother who made light conversation as they walked up the stairs to the private boxes. You, however, strayed a bit behind. You could not help but let your eyes dance about the space, taking a simple joy in the marvel that the architecture provided. 

Most of the walls were draped in red velvet curtains, as you assumed that what was underneath was nothing more than brick and mortar. Candelabras stood tall throughout the theater, allowing the patrons to make their way to the seats. No light could match that of the elegant chandelier that illuminated the room with its glistening crystals. It hung above the crowds, swaying slightly with the movement of nearly a hundred people flitting about the space. You wondered what a view might be like from such a height.

Though mere high ceilings and chandeliers could not keep the odd feelings that were festering in your mind at bay. It was an odd tickling at the back of your mind that was causing you some distress. The way others had stared at you only mere minutes ago was only what you could describe as a mocking child who would be scolded should their parent find them speaking so vilely.

Yet now, their eyes were a bit wide with surprise and said eyes followed you before flicking to Lady Seon, and then to her private box. It was as if they were stunned to see you walking behind Lady Seon despite having done so countless times before. What ever could be the reason for the quick change in attitude?

"Boys," Lady Seon called. "I trust you recall Lady L/N?"

Oh.

Your mother curtsied, and her doing so gave you just enough of a view to see two heads of dark hair. The overwhelming sense of dread gave you no head start before it took hold of you.

“And you also must recall her daughter-”

“Miss L/N,” The voice that answered was deep, sultry, and one you hadn’t heard for quite some time.

Mama and Lady Seon moved in a departure that could rival that of the Red Sea in dramatics. In doing so, they revealed two figures whom you knew you would have to meet again- truly, were you running into these men on a timed schedule?- yet trembled at the thought.

Kim Seokjin, Earl of Scarborough, was the oldest of the seven and somehow the most mature yet immature of their bunch. He was always so loud, brandishing an air of chaos yet found the restrain to reel in the youngest of them.

In appearance, he hadn't changed in the slightest. When he had left, he had already grown into himself. Much like his personality, everything about his facial features was big. From the fullness of his lips to the perfectly circular shape of his dark brown irises, every part of his face shouted at you with an inflated sense of grandeur.

Where Lord Kim exuded grandiosity, the Marquess of Hertford, Min Yoongi was adverse with an appearance of slight demeanor. His eyes were narrow, and they had always reminded you of a cat; slender and focused, always observing the things he was interested in while never giving second thought to the things he didn't.

As mentioned prior, Lord Min was of a more reserved type. He did not smile often, but in the off chance he did, his thin lips would curl, revealing the pink gums that lay underneath. For now, though, he chose to give a closed-mouth simper as a means of greeting.

Once again finding yourself bound by society’s graces, you followed in your mother’s prior movement. You muttered out a greeting, but a disguised swat at your arm from your mother elicited a louder acknowledgement.

“Lord Kim, Lord Min,” You addressed. “How... surprising it is to see you.”

"Miss L/N," Lord Kim beamed. "You have grown so much since we last met!”

Lord Kim, though not much older than you where a few flirtatious remarks would be deemed inappropriate. Though, in truth, nothing a man did could ever be labeled as such, especially where there were no standards or age restrictions for courtships.

However, had there been, you had doubts that it would stop such behavior from Lord Kim. Known to be ever the philanderer, nearing a title of “rakehall,” Lord Kim would often partake in the teasing of ladies who had the misfortune of entering his vicinity. So despite the words he spoke seeming to be nothing more than a mere observation, you could ascertain that they were layered with jest.

"I cannot say the same for you. You both appear as if you had not even left... what a pity." You smirked.

“Y/N, please-” Your mama spoke through gritted teeth in what was supposed to be a smile.

“Always a pleasure to see you, Miss L/N,” Lord Min said with a face of stone. Some things rarely ever change.

“Yes,” You nodded stiffly. “A pleasure indeed.”

Your mother and Lady Seon had taken seats in the row behind Lord Kim and Lord Min, yet there were only two in that row. You felt a prick of annoyance but made no action to request for a change of order. If you were to sit beside one twit, you would at least do it with a shred of decorum.

Lord Kim and Lord Min had appeared to have other plans in store for you. There were three seats closest to the stage, and in some attempt at getting a rise out of you, Lord Min and Lord Kim had decided to fill the seats on each end, leaving the only remaining in the center.

You liked to think yourself a rather patient person when simple vexations were placed before you. Yet this was no simple vexation. This seemed too deliberate to be a coincidence, especially where these men were concerned.

You had standards for yourself, and you would not go quietly in this silent battle between yourself and them.

“Lord Kim,” You sighed as kindly as you could when faced with two humanized donkeys. “Would you be ever the gentleman and perhaps allow me to sit in your seat?”

“Forgive me, but I do quite enjoy this particular seat.” He was not forgiven in the slightest.

You were not sure what you should have expected. Even so, you were not going to allow them the satisfaction of seeing you cause a fuss over a simple seating arrangement. You lowered yourself to sitting between two unlicked cubs who would no doubt make teasing conversation with you on the subject of this unfortunate event.

You were gracious that the opera was starting. The roar of violas and cellos and any instrument you could envision kept their venomous tongues sealed within their mouths. If this continued for, say, the next three hours, perhaps you would title yourself a lover of the theater after all.

“So, Miss L/N,” Lord Kim prompted after a near fifteen minutes of contented silence. “How have you been these past two years? The season treating you well?”

It was a question that must have had a tier of mockery to it. Anyone with eyesight and the capability to read was aware that you were not faring well. Even if they were above reading Lady Whistledown as you wished you could be, it would only require a functioning ear to know that you were nearly off the marriage market.

Even if lying was an act you did not enjoy partaking in, you thought it best for your ego to bite your tongue on the truth of the matter. “I suppose it has. Though I do suppose it would not be treating me kindly now that I am in your presence."

Your mama seemed to be invested in conversation with Lady Seon, leaving you a grateful woman. She had not overheard your attempted injury to Lord Kim and Lord Min’s pride. Perhaps it were the only part of this excursion that was tolerable.

“Ah, yes,” Lord Min drawled. “The others did say you were as feisty as ever. Perhaps you have not grown as much as we once assumed.”

Lord Min was in no way referring to height as Lord Kim had before. You had no doubt that he was referring to your level of maturity. True, you did not do much in your youth to filter your thoughts when with the seven of them. In that category, very little has changed. However, this gave them no right to speak on matters they knew nothing about!

You scoffed resentfully, “I can assure you that I have grown, as it were, much more than you believe. You cannot make such judgements after being away for so long! And I would ask of you to refrain from speaking of me in private, my lords. I find those who speak of others when they are unaware have the worst things to say.”

“Ah, just how little do you think of us, Miss L/N?”

“Very.” You rolled your eyes.

“I fear that is rather hypocritical of you, Miss L/N,” Lord Min remarked. “Was it not you who spoke of me without my knowledge only early in the day? I cannot recall Jimin’s exact words... What had he said again, Seokjin?”

“I believe he said that Miss L/N believed you would find ‘dismal demeanor’ to be attractive. Rather a nasty thing to proclaim so naturally. Am I correct in that belief, Miss L/N?” Lord Kim spoke with an impish grin.

You felt your face grow hot with embarrassment. You were caught, that much you knew and were not stupid enough to combat. You really should have known that Park Jimin would keep on his promise of informing Lord Min of your words said in passing with Rose. The scoundrel he was...

Because you were found out, you decided to lift your theater binoculars to your eyes so that you might avoid further interrogation into your hypocrisy. Save for a few mumbles of irritation, you remained mute as to focus on the scene before you. As fate would have it, you were not to entirely focus on such a thing.

“If you must know, Miss L/N,” You felt the whisper of his breath fan across the bareness of your neck. The sudden puff of air against your skin made you flinch, and such a vulnerable action made your already burning cheeks feel as though they were lit ablaze. “I do not find myself particularly enamored by ladies with a dreary countenance. They tend to be rather... boring.”

You could not see him, but you knew that he must have been close to your face for the warmth of his breath to hit you as it had. In knowing this, you refused to tear your magnified gaze away from the dark-haired woman belting arias from the stage. You would not allow him the satisfaction.

“I shall store such information in my memory,” You grumbled. “Hopefully it will be of the short-term.”

“Should you wish to hear what ladies do charm him?” Lord Kim questioned.

“Should I be privy to such information, Lord Kim?” You crossed, finally removing your glasses.

Not even a moment later and you wished you had remained stagnant. You wished to glare at his lordship, but found your face hardened in a flustered distinction.

You had accounted for Lord Min being relatively close to your person, yet you had not done the same for Lord Kim. His voice had not protruded your space as Lord Min’s did, so when you went to confront him, you were completely struck dumb to see him mere inches from your face.

You concluded that Lady Seon and your mother must have been deep in discussion, for any chaperone of a decent caliber would never allow such proximity between two single people, especially with one being a young lady like yourself.

That knowledge made you cripple with worry, for these boxes, though deemed private, were anything but. You surmised that people were already talking when they realized you were to be seated with the two.

Your only solace that this moment would not be seen as intimacy as merely as three people making conversation was that whispering to others during performances was not so uncommon. You desired to share in their blissful ignorance, yet fate did not seem to favor you this day.

“May you please remove yourself from my space, Lord Kim?” You asked 

“I may,” He said plainly. “I also may not.” Once again, you were unsure as to why you even asked him politely.

“You are intolerable.”

“What you can and cannot tolerate is of no concern to me.”

“If you believe yourself to be endearing, you are misguided in your beliefs.”

You decided to take matters into your own hands. You slumped into your seat in a rather unladylike fashion. You thought it would work to slip away from their close proximity, but Lord Kim had followed suit in your slouch. Lord Min merely chuckled at your frustration.

“You have no shame,” You spat. “Both of you.”

“Living life with shame makes for a rather miserable life, you know.” Yoongi stated.

“Yes, well,” You scowled at him. “It is rather easy to live without shame when there are few shameful moments in your life to plague you. Some of us have to bear such burdens.”

They seemed to understand your words faster than you did. Their sudden lack of confidence and newfound silence was jarring to you until you discerned what you said that might cause such a shift. It seemed that today was just filled with constant reminders...

What have you done?

The echo of Lord Kim's past words bounced about your mind before being washed away with the crash of symbols and plucking of violin strings. You focused on the music, yet even a symphony could keep you from a quick travel through your most suppressed memories.

You felt an itch on your arm.

“The alto is rather pitchy.” Lord Kim noted. 

“As is the mezzo.” Lord Min agreed.

“The soprano is rather nice.” You mentioned.

"I have wonderful news, dearest," Your mother spoke giddily as you boarded your carriage for the night.

The rest of the concert was spent in relative silence save for a few comments here and there. It seemed that your allusion to the past had made Lord Kim and Lord Min uncomfortable enough to spare you from further torment.

Still, you had been spent, exhaustion seeping into your skin and through your blood so that every muscle was heavy. You had not realized how tense you had been the entire night until you were seated in an environment that didn't require you to be on guard.

"Hmm?" You hummed.

"I have secured you a suitor for the Salisbury ball tomorrow night!"

"That's nice..." You murmured, too fatigued to connect the dots together.

"Excellent, I am glad that you agree!" Your mother smiled. "We shall meet the Duke upon our arrival."

Your once relaxed muscles become rigid in a single moment. You sat straighter, your heart picking up in pace. "W-What?"

You felt as though you were going to be sick. Surely your mother could not have meant Kim Namjoon was to accompany you to such a public event! Unless... unless it were not he that she was referring to... If it were not, surely that could not have meant...

“T-The Duke of... um, Hastings?” Your own voice was failing you, stammers and stutters that you never dealt with before.

“No, dearest,” She replied. You felt your muscles regain the tension it held in the previous hours at this response. You had prayed that her next words would be different, yet they were just as you feared. “Jeon Jungkook, the Duke of Wellington has apparently shown an interest in you! As is the Baron Kim, dearest! We’re to attend a brunch with him and Lady Seon before the festivities! Oh, Y/N, isn’t this just wonderful?”

Wonderful.

Wonderful.

You would have chosen a much angrier word. A word that could convey how utterly sick to your stomach you felt knowing that you would have to hold Jeon Jungkook’s hand once again. You felt as though there was no word in the English lexicon that could convey every sweltering emotion racking your body.

The argument rested on your tongue with bitterness and the scorch of burning, like if someone poured a cup of coffee onto it. You wished to scream, to cry, to know that with the sword her majesty gave you not long ago, you could continue to fight without diving to such depths. And yet...

You had not seen such a glimmer in your mother's eyes for days. Much like yourself, your mother had felt the burden of your predicament. For so long, it felt like despair and a bleak future was all that was ahead of you. This was the first time you'd seen even a sparkle of hope in the eyes that so resembled yours.

What have you done?

Rain tapped at the carriage window. You hated the rain. "Yes... I am so... very excited, Mama.”

a/n: one blue raspberry bang energy drink later... and the sky is now bright. please forgive the errors if you see any, i am fatigued