she smelled of daisies

“You can always pour some out to me. Use fake names like Bob Skywalker and… Remember that teacher we had in high school, Price? Who called everyone Lisa? Just replace all the names for Lisa and I’ll listen to you for hours.“ Tony said, smiling over at her. “If you want to, of course.” Laughing with her, he pushed his hair back and shrugged slightly. “Look. Let me rephrase: I’m always getting older but the soccer team is always the same age, it makes me feel weird. Sometimes I think my daughter’s gonna be there, and I’m gonna be so old, and it’s gonna be weird. Or maybe it won’t.” He made a face at her and covered his mouth with his hands for a second. “Sorry. Rambling.“

“Listening to people’s problems all day is really that bad?“ He teased, bumping his shoulder against hers. “It’s kinda weird at school too. I keep getting older but my girls are always the same age.“

“How come?“ Tony asked, glancing over at her.

He listened to her carefully, grabbing a few napkins to clean up his face. “Why would she cheat, them? Really… Cause I just don’t understand” He said, running a hand through his hair. Looking up at her again, he thought about her words. Did he want to make it work with Lydia? Most of his brain said yes, but a tiny part, and weirdly enough, the part who was being louder right now, wanted him to think a little more before making any kinds of decisions… “What, cheat? No. Lydia… She has a complicated background, sure” Nate went on, thinking about her father for a moment. “But she never, never did anything like this. I mean– Unless she did something while she was away studying and she didn’t tell me about it.” 

Until that moment, Nate hadn’t considered the possibility there could be other reasons for Lydia’s cheating, other than the money. Now, with Dahlia’s words, he found himself thinking all the possible worst things, and he covered his face again, going back to crying. “But– I mean– If the problem was, I don’t know, our relationship–” He was interrupted by his own sobbing. “Couldn’t she have… Just ended things?” Nate asked, finally looking up at his friends, his eyes red. 

Nate couldn’t help but roll his eyes at her when she started talking - thankfully, as he was looking down again, it would be a really hard to tell. Dahlia was one of his closest friends, and he knew she was trying, but she sounded exactly like his own therapist. Shaking his head again, he made a face. “I just don’t know how to work through it. I mean, of course I don’t wanna break up, God– Like I need another reason to want to die, but” He sighed, closing his eyes and throwing his head back, in frustration, tears streaming down his face. “Ok but how is cheating for money supposed to help her get through her own thing, whatever it is?”

At the same time he struggled to stop crying, he attemped to organize his thoughts so he could tell Dahlia whas was going on. His mind went back to the conversation with Lydia the previous night, and as much as it pained him, he recalled everything she’d told him, before taking a really deep breath to try and calm down. He squeezed Dahlia’s hand back when he finally looked up at her. “She cheated on me.” He blurted out. “She said she did it because he offered her money, and she needed to pay her student loans, but since day one– Since day one, Dahlia, I’ve always told her I’d pay it all, I would. Cause it’s not a money I’d miss you know? And she always said no. And…” He started crying again. “Now that.”

“Sorry about that…“ He said, grabbing the menu and looking acorss it, without really reading it. “But it is important. I think.“ Nate said, avoiding her eyes. Dropping the menu, he crossed his arms, and then uncrossed them, clearly nervous. “I’m just gonna go straight to the point, ok? I… It’s about Lydia. I… She…“ He trailed off, as he felt the water in his eyes. Covering his face, Nate started to cry, trying to be as quiet as he could. 

As his lips reached the collar of her shirt and her fingertips were on his pants, he seemed to realize they were doing that so… in public. Without saying anything, he took her hand and led to the more isolated place where his car had been parked and pushed her against it, kissing her again.

“Desperately” He said, moving closer to her.

“That I want to kiss you all the time”