i have washed a thousand spiders down the drain

explaining to my doctor that im getting artifacts in my vision but its not like floaters or anything i just keep seeing an ancient staff and a cursed dagger and shit wherever i look

I can see people’s auras but I don’t believe in that stuff so I just ignore it

the gif of sasuke knocking over the glass of water with the caption “Is Nothing Easy?” is the best image on this site

i'm your only friend (realizes that's statistically unlikely) i'm not your only friend (considers my positive qualities) but i'm a little glowing friend (suddenly gets cold feet) but really i'm not actually your friend (remembers to be confident in relationships) but i am

I'm entomologically evil. Im bad and I'ms bugs.

Hello This Is The Office Of The Specialist You Were Referred To. We Have Decided To Never Call You To Schedule An Appointment Because You Are Evil And We Do Not Accept Evil Patients

ice cream truck blasting gymnopedie no. 1 while a bunch of really forlorn children chase after it

fixed a problem at work that i vaguely saw a manager fix once and i did it faster which means that i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin

Grace is one of the most classic things to fall from

That and the monkey barrrsssss

warlock summon spells are real in life but they only work in connecticut. you can only summon your friends and allies to connecticut

of course when you summon someone to connecticut they quickly cease to be your friend or ally