the antiquated

                     So much for being civil for the children’s sake. The amount of patience she has for him has decreased rapidly over the years. She used to be so patient with him and he was so understanding but people change and feelings do too. Then if they really do, why does she still love him after all the shit she had to deal with for his sake? She wasn’t sure. Meeting his stubborn attitude with her own, head on, was not the best idea, to be honest. Yet here they both are, trying to hurt each other while trying to keep themselves from murdering each other in front of the kids. It won’t be a good thing for the adults to act like kids in front of the kids who seem smarter than them and deals with things maturely than they actually do. Here she was, with the very man who broke her heart, only to let him keep breaking it. She had tried to fix it over the years. She tried to see if anyone could ever fix her but none of them ever filled the holes and the cracks that Seokjin had made. While he helps the kids up, she carefully keeps a distance while watching them. They sure grew up fast. They were no longer the tiny babies that would cry at the wee hours of the morning. Hwayoung experienced what it felt like to have a husband and three kids when she dated Seokjin but it was like a demo game and she can’t afford to get the full game. The price was too high for her. 

Hwayoung slips herself in the passenger’s seat and she buckles up right away when the ominous sound of his phone rings. She never liked it when people call Seokjin. It was almost always a bad thing. And that call was a bad one. She froze while sitting there, clutching on the expensive shoulder bag that she got from Italy. The voice of the woman puts Hwayoung in total discomfort like she wasn’t supposed to be there. She’s not supposed to be sitting in the car with him and his kids. Just like how she was the unwelcomed visitor who took the woman’s place as soon as she took off for her own good. God, she could feel her own body get cold as the former lovers continued to talk like she didn’t exist there and she refused to have her existence be known. Then she mentions a model, making Hwayoung raise an eyebrow. The hell has been Seokjin up to? Then the woman elaborated further on who the woman is. Oh, it’s her. Hwayoung wanted to correct the woman. It’s only been 8 years, not 10. Ugh, she can’t do her math. No wonder she can’t even take care of three kids and her man. 

She scoffs as they finish their not so lovely conversation. “Didn’t know you two were so close to having such casual phone calls. Why don’t you two just get back together?” She was mad and bitter. No, not jealous. Not at all! “Glad to be here, Mr. Seokjin. How’re your projects going? Will you be in any movies soon?” Hwayoung asks, trying to hit home just for the sake of hurting him. “I’ve been well. In case you haven’t heart, I signed a contract with Bulgari. Can you believe it? My life is doing absolutely well since you decided not to fight for me. But that’s not the point, right? You’re happy enough that you got your ex on the line just now. Don’t talk to me.” Words just flew out so quickly out of her mouth that he probably didn’t understand a thing but that’s just how she is when she’s mad. No, she’s furious.

As soon as the words came out of her mouth that followed his question, he couldn’t help but let a smirk gradually grow onto his lips. a small breathy chuckle leaving him as she continued. and, oh how he missed her blabbering, so. laughter suppressed amidst the her rambling, only being able to take in whenever she paused a little to breathe. “i don’t think i’ll be taking on any projects as of now.” his head shaking slightly, his brows raising for a moment as to indicate his priorities, glancing at his kids from the rear view mirror. “i’m becoming the dad my kids need, isn’t that what everyone wants anyway?” a sigh leaving him. “okay, now you’re just bragging and being unreasonable.” and yet, he couldn’t help but let a grin lift the corners of his lips, his features glistening for a moment. she was adorable. a little annoying... but adorable.

As they drove, he looked over at her as to check if she was still in one of her moods. “i don’t want to interfere with your sulk, but are we going the right way?” he leans forward a little over the steering wheel, as to have a look around, the lights were red so he had a while to observe their surroundings. perhaps he took a wrong turn earlier, amidst all the road work that was happening all over the place, the detour and her attitude threw him off road a little. “and to set the record straight. what am i to do when the mother of my kids call and want to have another shot at being their mum?” leaning back into his seat, “if anything, i probably hate her more than anyone else does. so, why’re you so mad?” his brows lifting for a moment before dropping as the green lights came on. “i also have no idea where we are.”

                         “Ah!” Connor pretends to be hurt, but he isn’t. He’s just letting the little boy feel better, he was once a young boy and now he’s just a guy who doesn’t plan to ever grow up. “When you grow up, little man.. You will understand the beauty of women!” Connor laughs, trying to grab the young Jaejin. Wanting to embrace him and trap him playfully in his arms. “Don’t run away from me! Don’t you have a crush at school?” He asks Jaejin then glancing at Seokjin with his mouth open. “I can teach them how to swim, hyung. Though I would suggest going to a pool to teach them first, because of the waves. Also, the water is too salty. It might scare them away.” He sits up, dusting himself free from the sand. Scratching here and there, dusting his milky skin. 

“I don’t know how you did it, hyung. Getting all three in one go. Did you.. perhaps, you know? Did it a lot and so you got.. a lot.” He coughs, the inappropriate question was still inappropriate no matter how subtle he tries to do it. “Get a nanny for them, hyung.” He suggests, but he knows it would be expensive and who would want to take care of all three with different personalities. “Better yet, get a girlfriend then wife her up so you don’t have to do these things alone anymore.” Glancing at Jaejin with a grin. “Right, Jaejin-ah?”

A sigh leaving him, almost instinctively as the other spoke. what on earth has seokjin done to deserve such an eccentric friend like connor? his gaze drifts to the youngest boy in the other’s arms. a small smirk appearing onto his features at the mention of jaejin’s crush, as the young boy began to blush and grin widely. seokjin turning back to the other, “i tried getting them a nanny, but the boys don’t like having outside people look after them.” another sigh leaving him, the boys have grown too attached their father who scarcely ever left their side. separation was a tough job for the boys to do when they first had to go to preschool and childcare. they cried as if they were at seokjin’s funeral. a small chuckle leaving him. “i’m surprised you don’t have any kids. you seem to be someone who does it regularly, but i guess you haven’t found the one yet. i’m also surprised your pickle would have fallen off.” another chuckle.

minguk couldn’t resist pinching jongin’s cheeks. if he ever had a son, he’d definitely hoped they’re like seokjin’s children. well, maybe not triplets or even twins – the idea seemed overwhelming for first time parents, but children, as his mother would always tell him, are blessings. but he and jangmi just got back together, so he didn’t have to worry about that chapter of their lives just yet. “back at you,” he couldn’t mention how he kept an eye on seokjin, making sure he and his children were okay from the shadows. just because hwayoung and seokjin didn’t work out doesn’t mean he had to stop caring. he likes seokjin and his little family, wishing them the best. minguk blankly stares back, an awkwardness threatening to come between them until the youngest of the triplets rushes in. “excuse me?” minguk springs up, eyes wide over the new situation. “uh– sure, hyung, i live a couple blocks away.” if he could handle a mob, he should able to handle children. smiling reassuringly, he turns to jaejin. “can you hold on until we get to uncle’s house? it’s not far, i promise.” minguk takes the lead and starts walking in the direction of his home. “c’mon, let’s go on an adventure.”

Worried were the hues that casted onto the youngest who needed an urgent release of his orange juice he had previous indulged in to cure his cold. a remedy that was taught to him by his own mother. a hand comes up to rub at his temples, stress coming over him. he lifts up his youngest, sniffing the back of his pants, an immediate scrunch forms onto his face, as jaejin giggles. “don’t giggle with poop in your pants!” a sigh leaving him as the other two kids began laughing, hiccups in between their glee. turning to minguk, his eyes peering wide open “please make this adventure short lived.” 

it has only been more than a week since she first came here. she’s still unsure if this is a good idea, after all it is very spontaneous and sudden. this wouldn’t be the first (wouldn’t be the last one either) time kylie has done something without planning properly, she just likes the idea of doing it first, then think about the consequences later. what’s the fun of having something, like the rules or parents, hold you back from doing what you wanna do? kylie is never one to listen to rules or all that bullshit, the girl has always been a rebel, even in her childhood. 

kylie is on her day off work today, so all she’s been doing is eat and sleep, in which she totally loves to do, but it does get boring after hours of doing just the same thing anyways. thank god the hungover from last night is starting to wear off now. perhaps she should go out now before the boredom could kill her here. too bad junho is working today and she barely knows anyone in this town yet, so that’s both a blessing and a curse. but before kylie could get up, her phone rings, it’s an incoming call from ‘ahjusshi’. his contact name could have been daddy though. 

“what’s up?” kylie greets into the phone, wondering why the man has called her now. well, his question is unexpected, so she’s a little amused when it comes up. “just burn down his house then. what kind of question is that?” she lets out a laugh, before adding, “why do you hate this neighbour though? what did he do to you? must be real serious for you to say shit like this.” 

Despite the other not being here for long, perhaps they met at a bar. it was unclear, the day they met happened so fast that all seokjin could remember was him asking her how to burn things, at first he was asking how to start his own barbecue before it escalated to burning cars then houses, than entire cities. did any of this really happen? no one knows. maybe he was drunk, maybe he’s imagining things, or maybe... just maybe... they really did meet at a bar. as the other replied, he felt relieved. initially that was his plan, but then after some serious thinking he thought it wouldn’t be worth going to jail over burning an old man’s house. what if he killed the old geezer? what a disaster.

texting and walking was just as bad as texting and driving. he tried to be careful, eyes occasionally glancing up every so often to see where he’s going before returning to his messages. a tiny toddler on a tricycle was, well, a bit out of his peripheral vision. a pain surged from his leg and thankfully, he looks down to notice a familiar adorable little boy staring up at him before he could curse. the expression on his face immediately melts into pure affection as he crouches down to jongin’s eye level. “hey, jongjong!” he coos, scooping up the child into a tight hug. “i missed you, little guy. where’s your–” even when he was expected it, he was surprised to see seokjin. minguk is hwayoung’s friend first, so he always felt awkward in seokjin’s presence after their break-up. that doesn’t mean he had to stop giving a fuck about the well-being of seokjin and his children. “they’re fast learners.” he looks over to see jaejin straggling behind, laughing over how adorable the sight was. “and also resourceful. your boys have always been smart cookies.”

Shaking his head slightly as the other mentions his boys being fast learners. hardly. the youngest was still using the tricycle as a walking aid, he resembled an elderly woman struggling to buy her groceries. “i haven’t seen you in a while.” ever since his breakup with hwayoung it was never the same, everyone she knew that he knew became strangers again. he wondered what she told them, or maybe it was just the power of friendship? an unknowing stare, directs itself at minguk before his youngest comes flying in, tugging at seokjin’s pants and pointing at his own. immediately, shock horror appearing onto seokjin’s face, picking up the small boy. “oh no, he needs to poop or pee, i’m not sure, maybe both. oh no, that’s bad. do you live near here? do you have a toilet? can i use your toilet?” looking back at the other two boys who seem to cycle without a care in the world. “can you also look after the other two? but first, where’s the closest toilet?”

                     They never fought in front of the kids back then, always putting them aside for later when they were in the room. Privacy was important for them. When your life story has been out to the public and you’re being watched by too many eyes, you cling onto peace and isolation. Why does it feel like she never did anything for him? Why? How does he even have the guts to speak as if he had nothing better to do but break her to every bits and pieces? “I came back because I love you.” She poured it out right there and then, to tear him some more. “Why? Do you think I’m like you? That I ruin everything that’s going good for me? Check again, Seokjin. At least, I have the decency to leave while things are good instead of leaving everything a mess.” 

Hwayoung picks up Jaejin, holds him close like hanging on the last piece of her sanity. Her chest kept rising and falling, heart racing and tearing apart with each word from him. Hwayoung wanted him to stop her from leaving, to fight for her and to runaway with her. She’s too weak and a coward to have the guts to ask him that. She needed to hear these things from him, but he cared more about the spotlight than the dying light inside her. She needed him too. Why didn’t he care enough to see that? “You know what? At least I had the guts to come back. I had the guts, Seokjin. How about you? Did you grow some balls to fight for me? Clearly, you didn’t.” She scoffed, walking and gently stroking Jaejin’s back who have found comfort in her arms. Oh, how she wish to be comforted like that too. Fighting her own tears back was a challenge on its own. 

“You stayed because you needed the fame. Don’t turn this on me, Seokjin.” Then it felt like she needed to run away, to cry off somewhere and just leave him alone again. She wasn’t ready to face him again. She wasn’t ready to let him break her heart again. Wasn’t it enough to know that the only reason why her relationships don’t work out is because it’s not with him? “Very funny, Seokjin. I know we met after I got my crown but the I was merely just a college student when you met me. So don’t act like I was a snobby ass princess when you fell for me.” Jaejin’s gentle voice then breaks her from arguing with Seokjin. Are you and daddy fighting? asked the little one and Hwayoung lies with a smile, having gotten used to it already. “No, sweetheart. We’re just discussing things we didn’t discuss before.” 

Turning to Seokjin and pulling that sweet smile he used to adore. How she said before that their daughter would have her smile. The idea itself, they were so in love with it and they were so in love with each other. Where did it go wrong? “If you want to break my heart, you’ve already won.” Hwayoung tells him as she stands next to him but it was just a fleeting moment, she can never stay next to him. He was like a black hole and she was more than willing to be swallowed up by him but not now.

His veins almost protruding straight from his forehead, a sense of anger that rekindled in his heart, an organ that lay dormant ever since he had chosen that the light it gave off was insignificant to that of what he had yearned for. seokjin wanted nothing more but the truth to his own existence, a path that lead him nowhere and so many times before it had he been lead astray. his own heart, radiating a heat that felt toxic, his bleached bones lighting aflame, and his own charred lungs feelings its intoxicating stench. opening the back door of his car, as he buckles in his eldest, his middle standing him as he clutched onto seokjin’s leg. 

Everything she said was only making him angrier, he wanted to scream at her, he wanted to scream at her louder, he wanted to correct her but when two stubborn people meet, it was almost impossible to come to a negotiable conclusion. so he took a step back. hands coming down to lift jongin up into his car seat, buckling the middle in. “i never implied you were a snobby princess but the way you’re acting right now...” as his youngest speaks, seokjin pauses for a moment, they never argued in front of the kids before. brown hues, radiating a sense of regret, one of reminiscent bliss. an ignorance that was soon forgotten after his own darkness chased after him. as she continued to speak, he helped to buckle in his youngest. at the mention of breaking her heart, he stops, dazed hues looking at her, squinting slightly as if patronising her words. laughter wanting splurge from his lips but kept inbound as he opts to shake his head instead. 

After a few moments, he looks away. going to the driver’s side and getting on. the car fell silent for a few more moments before the familiar ring tone breaks the silence. “hello?” seokjin calls out, “hey jin, are the kids with you? i keep hearing you’ve been giving them to my cousin to babysit, they need to be with their father more, you know?” a scoff leaves him, it was her, the baby momma. “are you really going to tell me how to raise the kids you left behind? nice joke.” another silence falls over them before she replies, “anyway, are you still with that model girl?” confusion evident on seokjin’s face, “who?” the kids remain silent, playing with their dinosaur plushies in the back, “the one that was miss korea ten years ago or something?” a chuckle leaving him, intense laughter being held back by a few chuckles that guised his subtle reply, “that’s none of your business, you’re also wasting my time.” immediately hanging up afterwards, shaking his head slightly, as his eyes roll in their sockets. god was she annoying. 

the triplets were her pride and joy, watching them grow made jangmi so happy. they were her stress reliever; she would do anything for those boys. she cradled jongin in her arms, snuggling him close to her. “don’t ever do that again okay?” she sighed before putting him down. she gathered the young boys, caressing each one of their cheeks, a slightly worried tone in her voice, “what did i tell you boys? take care of one another because you only have each other. don’t give your dad a hard time.” she felt for seokjin, taking care of the kids alone, she really did.

has she eaten? she probably doesn’t remember considering how long she was asleep. “i dont think so,” quite unsure. “i have all the time in the world right now and i missed hanging out with the boys.” jangmi mentally cursed, coming to the realization that she had left the things she bought for the triplets at home. she made a mental note to drop them off one of these days. “wait so you bought ingredients but dont know how to make it? poor thing. i can whip some up for you, show off my cooking skills.” jangmi said smugly. she wasn’t the best cook but she knew how to. that’s what mattered right? “would you like that, babies? auntie jangmi will make some spaghetti,” she smiled at them. “me? i’m good. ive been better. catching up on sleep. you look like death.as usual.” a soft chuckle escaping her lips. “all jokes aside, how have you been?”

A nod, signifying his defeat. he was planning on youtubing how to make spaghetti for the boys, but the thought of having the young ones try to help out in the kitchen, sent a shiver down his spine. almost reflexive in his nature. with her next question, seokjin nods again, acknowledging how much like shit he has looked like since the last time they met. ever since giving up on his tainted lifestyle, a cycle of never ending no’s to one of more yes’es, he felt better about himself. mostly because now, he was a full time dad. death was an understatement, however. “uhh, well... you nailed it pretty well... i’ve been closer to death than usual.” a sigh leaving him, “earlier today i took the boys down the street to learn how to cycle, but they ran straight into minguk and almost broke his leg.” another sigh leaving him.

Body shaming, something seokjin would never do, yet when it came to that old man, all he could ever do was shame the old geezer. grimacing from a distance as the old thing lay on his porch almost naked. seokjin looks down at his phone, ( @kylicns )’s number on his screen as he decided to finally call. 

                          Even though Connor was usually an asshole or heartless as his exes would say, he liked kids. Not one of his own in the future, he won’t be a good dad like Seokjin. That’s one thing he’s sure of. He hasn’t considered a lot of things even at this age but looking at Seokjin who seems to have sorted everything he wants and needs in his life already, maybe he could give hope to the Connor. “Sorry, hyung.” He laughs, scratching the back of his nape. He forgot about the kids, thinking they had already gone around running like the boys that they should be. Active and happy. “I forgot.” He admits, glancing at the young boy seated with them. “Okay, family friendly uncle Connor. That’s my role for today.” Connor then gives Seokjin a nudge and one last look at the female. “But you must admit she’s a 10 out of 10.”

jangmi had a soft spot for her kids, her nephews in particular. she, herself, have watched them grow up. call it maternal instincts or whatever but she just knew how to take care of them and what they need— maybe because they’re related? who knows? jangmi gave seokjin a small smile before putting down her nephew beside their father and looking around. “near the slide?” jangmi asked, her almost instantly taking out her phone from her back pocket. she had a picture of her nephews taped to the back of her phone, a daily reminder than not everything in this world is bad. 

her brows furrowed in focus, scrolling through the spotify playlist she made for the boys; she played it on shuffle when she babysat especially when they were bathing or about to take a nap. was it weird for a grown woman to play baby shark on full volume? not if she’s on the search for her nephew. “jongin-ah!” jangmi called out, “i have the biscuits you. you know the ones in the shape of dinosaurs? we won’t tell your hyungs i promise. it’ll be our little secret.” from the corner of her eyes, she could see a small figure peeking through the side of a slide set but not the nearest one, the one further away. “is that you, baby?” jangmi knelt to his level as she watched him run as fast as his little chubby legs could take him. “there you are!” she gasped in relief, carrying him in her arms. “you scared me and your dad! you know how frantic he gets,” placing a kiss on his forehead. “Oppa!” jangmi called out to seokjin. “i found him! he was on the other slide set.”

His eye widening as he watched their aunty get to work, it was as if she was in her natural environment, he was shooketh by her skills and abilities. as the song began to play on her phone, seokjin couldn’t help but let a smirk run through his lips. their aunty cared more for them and knew more about them than their own damn mother. a sigh leaves him, not because he was tired but because the thought of their mother stressed him out. his brain juices exploding forth from his eyeballs and he closes them for a while, leaning back up against the park bench. 

Oh how his kids loved dinosaurs more than their own dad. it was ridiculous, but again, it was seokjin’s fault for indulging them into such frivolous toys. maybe he should consider throwing all their toys away and replacing them with math textbooks and quantum physics. it’s good to start early. a chuckle leaves him at the thought of food maniac jongin reading about quantum physics. what a time to be alive. 

As he heard their aunty call out to him, he was snapped back into reality, his brown hues widening in gratitude, then immediately turning into a scorn. “jongin! what did i say about staying in the places where i can see you, and telling your brothers where you go before you run off?” a hand coming up to rest on his own forehead, “ahh... you’re going to kill me one day.” turning to jangmi, “thank you, you saved my life, again, for the eight hundredth time. thank you.” his other two kids standing at his feet, “have you eaten? do you want to go eat something? i think the kids wanted to eat spaghetti but i don’t know how to cook that, but i bought all the ingredients at home.” a sigh leaving him, “oh, i forgot. how are you?”

                     Looking at him reminded her of those days when dates were more of babysitting three kids. Cooking at his apartment, watching some movie and hiding away from the rest of the world, because they had their own. But he was an actor and she was a beauty queen. The world knows too much about them, living normally, away from the spotlight was almost impossible. He craves it. She can never run from it. Hwayoung didn’t take long to say the three words to him. How she told him she’d marry him as the moonlight slips into the bedroom and her lips would find his own and his arms would tell her that this was home. He was home. He was her happiness. The center of her universe. Could it be that it was no good at all that she actually took everything too seriously? But how can she not, when forever itself stood before her. 

Standing here now, she knew and realized, all those times she stood by his side wasn’t for him but for her. To relive those moments when all they knew was that they love each other and they were happy in their own little world. She was selfish and a coward. Selfish enough to keep tormenting him with her return, in fear he’d find someone better. Someone to take her place and yet, she walked away, the moment her family said no and again, walking away from him and the chance to fix everything when she saw the Seokjin she met before. The man trying to find out things by himself. She was there, when he needed a hand. When she saw that man again, fear consumed her that history would repeat himself, so she actually let him learn on his own. Then, she realized, all along, she too.. was lost. But there was no turning back now. He was doing well, taking care of the kids and being the filling up the biggest and greatest role he could ever get, the role of being the father that his sons needed and deserves. 

Hwayoung was about to say it’s fine, but his words cut her. I miss you. The voice in her head says but something else comes out of her mouth. “Don’t treat me like a kid, Jin. Please.” She begged. She didn’t want them to argue in front of the kids. “I’ll take the car with you guys. It’s fine.” Hwayoung insists, but her feet felt heavy. A part of her screamed to say no and just leave but the comforting voice tells her that there’s no harm in this. I need you. Again, the words in her head ring. “It’s not like they’ll shoot me if I defy them, right? I learned the hard way over the years.” I love you. Nothing but a short breath, as she takes a step towards him. Reaching her hand out to the youngest who looked conflicted but she knew that the boys reflected Seokjin in many ways. 

“Don’t you think it was low of you to ask if I needed my family’s permission? I keep coming back to you, don’t I?” And she wanted to ask him if he even knows the reason why she never stays. “Would it do your image so much damage to ask me to stay? Wouldn’t it be a good pr move for you back to stardom?” If he’s gonna to stab her with a glass, she’s going to cut him open with her bare hands.

The struggle he had with fame was one he could not easily forget, it was a phase where dulled expressions and rainy days frequented his universe. and everyday, shards of glass would rain down from the sky, scathing the surface of his skin ever so gently, enough to sting his bleached persona. bitter marks that marked a bitter entrance into a world of bitter memories, broken shards of lies, words that were only crafted to please the ears, and seokjin found himself lured into the seducing hues of hwayoung. and how he craved to be the spotlight, where she stood, yet he could never sustain such a gift. he was self destructive and self sabotaging, every chance he stood in front of was either thrown away purposely or stepped on and then later burnt to ashes. he liked to feel miserable, fetishising his own sadness... perhaps too much so, that his kids began to weep by their father’s side. he was undeserving of such beautiful children. the sons that showed him the light, when he was in his darkest times.

And hwayoung, a torch she used to be. she was like the bubbles that lead him back to the surface when he was drowning underneath, his breath, taken and his hues closing up on his hazel orbs. but then, he woke up.

The reality before him shattered, and his entire world collapsed before his eyes. his feet impaled by the very stained glass that held up the frame in front of her. he meant nothing to her, everything she had said meant nothing. how could she have walked away so easily, after reassuring him that they would someday have a daughter amongst the young boys. lies. 

As she spoke, her words seemed to drag so agonisingly across his mind. i don’t want to hear you speak. it makes me sick. nothing but a tch leaves him. you are a damn kid. his eyes roll, his arms crossing before him. his kids glaring up at their father, full of concern. he didn’t want to be this way in front of them, never, but his anger and his time that had gone to waste was reflected in the woman that stood before them, a woman jaejin called mom. no. she wasn’t worthy of that title. 

                     Underneath the dark sunglasses, Connor watches the beautiful ladies walk around. It was pleasing to his eyes, of course. But his friend wasn’t happy, sitting next to him under the shade of the huge umbrella. He can feel their gaze and he just grins. “In other countries, women go topless around the beach. I didn’t know I’ll be missing such sight.” He laughs, amused by his own stupid comment. “But seeing cute girls in their bikinis like that one?” Connor points a cute girl in a yellow bikini. “I guess it’s a good day after all and I’m not even drunk.. yet.”

Frantic hands hurriedly coming to cover the eyes of his youngest, his two other kids scampering around, perhaps with their aunty? who really knows, maybe he had lost them completely. dear lord, please no. the thought now plaguing his mind, hazel hues now wide opened, easily mistaken for unpleasantly glaring at the “cute girl” walking in front of them. a shudder goes down his spine, his grip on his son tightening before a small whimper and slight struggling of the younger on his lap, makes him loosen his grip. “you’re being nasty and not g rated. there are kids around, please reframe from being thirsty... just for a little.”

the outdoor grills line the edge of the beach, surrounded by stone tables with long benches. kiyoung loves cooking, so when he had spotted the little barbecue area during his walk earlier that day he had immediately known what he was going to do for dinner. now he stands at a lit grill, various meats and vegetables sizzling happily and filling the air with their tantalizing scent. kiyoung has a pair of tongs in one hand, prodding gently at the food, and a bottle of beer in the other. “food’s almost done,” he informs with a happy little hum. “you can stop trying to steal some now.” he gives a playful click of his tongs, warding away danger like the little crabs he’s seen scurrying along the sand.

A sigh leaves him, almost trying to exhale all of the beguiling aroma of the grill. it was as if he had been baited so many times, that even his own instincts have come to deceive him. albeit, how crispy and burnt they look on the outside, their insides were never as equally cooked, it took a true barbecuing professional to pull off an evenly cooked meal lit by the griller. interested hues, darted across the array of food displays on the grill, a picky hand gesture moves towards the vegetables on the grill before snapping back immediately as the other spoke. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She replied and examined him for a second. Was he gonna give her a hard time? He didn’t seem like a real rebel, ( he apparently is a whole ass dad )  but maybe she could provoke him. “ No good liqour? I totally agree. I might kow a little info on where we can find their stash…I just need your beautiful eyes to help me look for a pair of keys.” She explained. “ Do it for the chicken? There’s nothing more delicious than good booze and fanfuckingtastic chicken.”

when was jangmi never jet lagged? it has become her new normal, her body confused at to which timezone it was in. one day she could be in australia and the next back to korea. when she was at home, she would doze of randomly. sleep was irrelevant to people like her; it all came with the job. seokin’s call startled the living hell out of her and just when she was about to fall asleep. “whaa–?” she squinted, pulling her phone away from her ear. all she could hear was a frantic seokjin. “how do you lose a child, oppa? —oh wait nevermind i forgot you have monsters. hold on. let me go wash the sleep out of my eyes and change. i’ll be there at ten.” 

jangmi loved her nephews so much. she was them as her own kids seeing how their own mother didn’t care about them. she hated her cousin for leaving seokjin with the triplets so she took it upon herself to watch over them. the female hopped into her car and drove to the playground seokjin sent. “agent double-o seven has arrived.” she jogged towards the young father, eyes already surveying her surroundings. “where was the last place you saw him?” jangmi asked as she carried one of the boys and planting a kiss on his cheek whilst ruffling the other one’s hair. “why didn’t you boy look after your brothers. you’re giving your dad a heart attack.” 

As she responded to his emergency, he felt a sense of relief washing over his poor weary soul. his charred lungs and rusted complexion made his wrinkles seem more prominent, lines of indiscretion and a dad who lived to be the slave of his own children. triplets that tormented his youth, but oh how he loved the torture. in good times he felt rewards but in times when his kids are missing, he had all his cards laid out to their dear aunty to hunt them down for him. 

                    The universe spoke for itself. Ties between people that can’t be cut, feeling that never fades and memories that keep haunting her. Once upon a time, he held her in his arms and he told her his wish. His desire to have a daughter. It was the opposite of what her grandparents want and it made Hwayoung smile at the male and like a child, she promised him, one day, she’ll be the one to carry his child and will fulfill his dream. Hwayoung walked her way around the parking lot and it was so easy to spot her car, her lavish and monstrous car sits there. She fiddles with her phone, texting her friend about dinner and so on when she hears a familiar voice. The only one that would dare call her like that. Her heart pounded on her chest and her stomach turned. She froze in place, thinking about running away but she can’t do that. It’s the child that’s calling for her. He can’t be at the parking lot on his own, but what if he is? Hwayoung slowly turns, only to see Seokjin. 

How long has it been? Two years? A year? She doesn’t even remember anymore. She just waited for him to get his act together, made sure he was back up in his own two feet before she went out the door. If he really wants her, then he would come looking for her, ask her to return and maybe she would stay but it’s just a dream that will never come true. Not now, not when his heart and mind is set elsewhere. He decided to chase after the stars that refused to light his way, grasping on fame that’s long gone and yet he didn’t see how she burned herself to shed light onto him. Maybe he did, but he knows he has nothing to offer her right now. 

“Jaejin-ah.” Her feet refused to move, her pupils shaking and she felt light headed. Was it because she hasn’t had a meal all day or was it because she was getting stressed in her current situation? She wasn’t sure. “Hi, sweetheart.” The distance between them was there, way too big to be enclosed with one big step. “Are… are you guys uh.. uhm.. heading home now? I.. we..” She couldn’t talk and it made her chest tighten. She wasn’t sure what to say, looking at Seokjin and his children, she bit her lip and forced herself to smile. “I could give you guys a ride if you want? I.. We.. Uhm, if your dad would allow it, we could go for some pizza and snacks.” Hwayoung felt stupid, she had confidently answered a question when the whole world was watching her and yet she can’t talk to properly in front of the man she once promised to marry.

Some time has passed since they last saw each other, seokjin’s memory of her was a one of blissful ignorance. a blurry face with no definite personality, a name with no meaning. his hazardous lights were on but his emergency alarms were all off,a unique disaster of two people who fell hopelessly in love only to be separated by another’s desire to please their family. are you really living, if you aren’t making decision for yourself? and to him, his hazy, mundane hues only perpetuated the rose-stained glass, he saw her threw. it was funny, how when you look at someone through rose-stained glasses, all their red flags just look like regular flags. despite, him having raised both hands, as to being the worser of the two with his addiction and problems, his career being amongst one of them. however, since his realisation he has never once looked back on it and saw it as a bad thing. 

Despite this, love was meant to be unconditional. yet she had waved so many red flags his way, that he had just failed to see. 

And he hated the facts his kids really grew to love her. if only he could just pull of the cord that chose to love, and replace it with one of unfamiliarity. it bit at him like a poison that integrated into his system, his bleached bones becoming whiter and his veins glowing a harsh blue under the iridescent hues of misery. 

His gaze returns to jaejin, his youngest who looked up at him concerned. his father’s subtle frown became an angered expression that made the kid worry, the little boy took a step back, his hand grabbing tighter at seokjin’s finger. seokjin’s gaze falling to the snacks the boys held, understanding now. mom. a scowl silently leaves his lips, as hazel hues roll in their sockets. 

His eldest, jimin reaching his arm out to grab the middle, jongin by the hand, as they look back at their dad. seokjin was still too busy being distracted by the sight of her that he couldn’t muster the clarity to respond. silence reigned over them, momentarily he felt like time had stopped, the tension between them was thick enough to be sliced by the broken shards of the rose-stained glasses. and finally his orbs drift to meet hers, hues falling to one of defeat, one of absolute repulse. his youngest tugging at his dad’s sleeve, “can we go, dad? can we?” this made jongin follow in his footsteps, turning to him and agreeing with the youngest. the eldest stood there, willing to do anything as long as his dad was happy. ❝ you’ll have to ride in our car then, the kids need their safety seats. would your family allow it? do you need to call for permission?❞