Daddy's Favourite Boy Toy

♔ : Finding your muse wearing their clothes

♕: Holding hands

♖: Having their hair washed by your muse

♗: Your muse falling asleep with their head in my muse's lap.

♘: Cuddling in a blanket fort

♙: Sharing a bed

♚: Head scratches

♛: Sharing a dessert

♜: Shoulder rubs

♝: Reading a book together

♞: Caring for each other while ill (specify which party is which)

♟: Patching up a wound

♤: Taking a bath together

♧: Your muse playing with their hair

♡: Accidentally falling asleep together

♢: Forehead or cheek kisses

♠: Your muse adjusting their jewelry/neck tie/ etc.

♣: Back scratches

♥: Your muse crying about something

It's Sexual Sinday, my minions.

So, anonymous or not, do one or more of the following:

1. Put smut in my askbox.

2. Ask my muse nosy and inappropriate questions.

3. Tell my muse how you’d fuck them.

"Make me"

"Don't tempt me"

"I hate you"

"You are infuriating"

"Just shut up already"

"That doesn't even make sense"

"Bite me"

"Eat me"

"Kiss my ass"

"Just admit i'm right"

"Just admit you're wrong"

"You are being ridiculous"

"That's irrational"

"Listen to me"

"That's not what I meant and you know it"

"Don't yell at me"

"That's it. End of discussion"

"I don't believe you"

"Don't look at me like that"

"What's with that look?"

"Go away"

"Don't talk to me"

"Do you ever shut up?"

"You're such a loud mouth"

"You shouldn't have said that"

"Fuck you"

"Step on a lego"

"Get bent"

"Shut your mouth before I shut it for you"

"It isn't up for debate"

"Don't question my orders"

"I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it"

"That is the worst idea i've ever heard"

"Who writes your plans, the village idiot?"

"That's mine"

"Give it back"

"Don't touch my stuff"

"That's not yours"

"Just leave already"

"The door is over there"

"I cannot deal with your bullshit right now"

"I have my orders"

Maybe god speaks through me

You are dancing close to heresy

He does not love you, that is all

We just need some clear air together and you will love me and forgot him, probably in... a week?

You will one day look at this as a funny story to tell our children

You love me

My father used to say when a woman wants to kill you, you are in business

They have bears. I may get one. They look cute

You are playing a game on me

It is a game were we both win

I will go, it is safest for you

Anyone in this court could turn on you, including me

I did not drink, now I do. I did not kill, now I do. I did not hope... oh no, that is still the same

Be kind to him, he is a delicate soul

Did you just call me a dumb whore?

I more implied smart whore

I wish I'd been terrible

it is frustrating to wait outside the doors, isn't it?

You would rather witness their idiocy?

You need a lover, it will cheer you

Ever since I was a child, I felt like greatness was in store for me

It is a trick men are slow to learn, you ask

That noice, I have not heard it before, good or bad?

“n-fucking-believable, I’m about to cut your throat and you’re making jokes?

When I cut you heart out, I will have a look in and see if it was true.

Do I look happy?

I'd love a confident smile of inevitable victory, if you could

Why don't you fucking love me, by the way?

I workd the corridors of self-interet using what assets I have

I never thought being doomed would feel so pleasant

Women are for seeding, not reading

You seem to live by your own rules

It helps they think I'm mad

She gave me a twig

She's not another inbred, is she?

I have to get back to my whores...whor-ses...horses

Someone should work ot what goes on between a chap and his mother. There'd be money in that

We will have free bread and medicine for all, education and art for all.

Is this a coup or a fucking book club?

I do not remember the new rule where I justify why I tell you to shut up.

Next time he is on you, stab him in the face.

I would have ridden, but my horse has trouble with stairs.

I promised you a lover.

It is thoughtful of me, I agree.

I cordially invite you to my execution and wish we'd known each other better.

You perhaps did not need to hear that story.

That is immoral and disgusting.

Give me some of your medals.

I am an instinctive military genius as my father before me.

I have the only key.

I won't stab him. I haven't even hidden a knife anywhere.

He is a danger to us. I suppose we should kill him, but he is sort of family, and we are sentimental.

He has a shine for me, I believe.

And why did he choose you?

Your father did not educate you?

Do you aim to charm me?

It'll be fun, albeit possibly fatal if it goes awry.

You may stay the night.

It is inspiring. It inspires fear.

Your beauty hurts.

If anyone ever invents something easier than buttons, we are all in trouble.

Unseen forces at work.

I hate all the pretend at court.

You must treat it as a foolish game.

I am not six. I do not giggle.

So he has made you happy, it seems?

Oh, so he cannot have made you that happy if you want him to go.

I am very disappointed in you, as would your father be.

How can you be so sanguine?

Truth is, he'll do as he wishes with me hang me, flay me, or take me hunting and for a nice lunch.

You have a sadness in you, and worst of all, you do not seem to know how to have fun.

Coughing blood is generally the problem sign.

I am chap with iron will and control.

How marvelous it was when you stabbed holes in that man.

There is now love and fear for me from all.

If you do not want him, you may choose your own lover.

He can fuck off or stay at court. I do not care, as long as you are happy and not a miserable, scowling cunt.