another one of the things that i think bothers me (not all the time but it was a big point) was when I was worrying myself to death and crying about trying to find somewhere to live. I felt so fucking bad telling you any of that stuff, like I was weighing you down with a sadness or something that you didn;t deserve. Like I didn;t deserve you or your time because i wasn't perfect...I wasn't vastly rich or awesome and couldn't just say fuck it and hop on a plane and come live somewhere near you and be happy for once in my life. I know it's something that has to be addressed sometimes when there's the aspect of another country being involved. I fucking hate everything about policies and citizenship bullshit to no end. I understand it's all there for a reason but It just breaks my heart when I have to tell you I'm worried or scared about something like where I'm going to live and you can't just say hey, come over and we'll figure it out, and drive down the street or something to you. I love you so much, I don't want to put you in pain just because of me having little problems around me.I want nothing but to make you happy, make you smile, make you feel complete and like I can handle things that you can't for me. I want to be strong, I want to do it all.