When I first heard the news that my college had worked out a deal to conduct a sponsored hucow drug trial, I thought surely it couldn't be true! I mean, how could they? Everyone knows about the side effects such drugs have on one's mind. But then I heard it was for a new drug in the works, one that reportedly had no such effects. And I mean, I couldn't quite believe it. But as much as I looked into it, scouring over the published and peer reviewed papers, they all said the same thing. Every subject reported no change in personality and said results were verified independently.
No change in the subjects personality...
What little doubts I had left about the trial vanished after seeing the financial bonus as well as the long list of benefits I'd be provided while on campus. I mean, they were offering everything they possibly could! A paid personal tutor, free textbooks, they outright promised that I would be guaranteed to pass all my classes! Plus, I'd finally grow a real pair of boobs and not be so flat. Not that I'm insecure about that...
No change in the subjects personality...
Of course, no change in personality doesn't mean there's no mental changes at all. There was no mention of the continued and sometimes even worsened cognitive decline in test subjects. A little lie by omission. After all, one can continue to act like a studious, know-it-all bookworm even while being dumb as bricks and wholly oblivious to the fact. At least I was still guaranteed to pass all my classes, even if they aren't exactly college level anymore...
Had you any presence of mind at all after the drug had run its course, you might have been able to figure out that the trial wasn't really for the drug at all. Hucow drugs were fairly established medical fact by that point; the science on the drug itself was considered finished. The true nature of the trial, buried in fine print, was to test something they referred to as "Lactoferric Bovid Anxiety-Related Production Modifiers." The old adage, of course, is that happy cows make better milk and more of it. The question now on the scientists' mind is if that extends to hucows as well. You had read something online years ago about a dairy in Europe using virtual reality to reduce the anxiety of cows trapped inside during the long, cold winters. This was, at its core, a test of the same thing. The transition from human to hucow can be... distressing. Even for those that lose nearly all their intelligence, the pure, hucow lifestyle can be such a jarring change that those hucows can become anxious and resist their transformation. These scientists had, what they thought, a way to combat that.
A few months into the trial and you had yet to realize anything was amiss. You were getting everything you wanted and more. Your breasts had swollen into their gigantic size (your breasts were measured once a week and, despite being told their exact measurements, you could never quite seem to remember what it was) and your academics had never been better! Schoolwork had come easy for a bookworm like you but this was on another level. You couldn't believe how easy the tests seemed now, which only bolstered your confidence. Even questions that, during the exam, had left you scratching your head and resting your udders on the desk to get a better look at the text always came back with near perfect scores. You couldn't even really remember who this Julia Cece person was (though they had misspelled her name terribly on the test sheet) or what happened when you put two numbers on top of each other, your raw talent and instinct carried you through, scoring in the top of your class. The lecture hall, such as it was, didn't look like your old ones and the teacher rarely, if ever, used the chalkboard, but you clearly must be learning something.
Your milk was a second source of pride for you. You were so relaxed, so confident, that the milk flowed freely and easily. Every day, you seemed to set new records for how much milk you were making, and the scientists collecting it really did seem surprised. Just another thing to boost your confidence. You never had many friends which did leave you a bit sad you didn't have anyone to share your triumphs with, but it was okay! Everyone was soooo friendly and they just let you talk and moo all day long, even while they were measuring you and milking you and examining your body. You were funny, too. Clearly, since you'd say something and the scientists would laugh and that'd make you laugh, too.
When you had the mental bandwidth to think on it, you actually did find it a little funny. They had promised no personality changes, but you were more confident and more outgoing than ever. Before the trial, you never would have imagined being on your knees in front of a group of people, moaning while you get groped and examined. Okay, maybe you had imagined it once or twice, but you never thought it would actually happen! And now it happened almost every day! You shook your head with undue condescension and flipped the page in your 'textbook', studying the pretty pictures. You were sure they'd be disappointed in the results, but you had a duty to tell them. For science.
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