⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

something something ghost getting so uneasy about mactavish's kindness that he starts wishing he'd hurt him instead

i think ghost is so scared of letting someone in that he'd prefer getting hurt over and over again,,,pain is something he's extremely familiar with, he's experienced for his whole life, so when he's put in a situation where he getting hurt isn't a threat, where he doesn't constantly need to be on edge, and where he doesn't need to watch every single thing he says or does, he gets uneasy. he gets antsy and uncomfortable because he's never had this kind of peace. he's never had someone he can let his guard down with, and he's never been with a man that wasn't angry, so he's extremely uneasy with how kind mactavish is and he's constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. and it leaves him so on edge that sometimes he'd even wish mactavish would hurt him instead, because pain is something that he knows how to handle, it's all too familiar to him, but kindness isn't and it's terrifying to him