A potent blend of cynicism and sarcasm

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of May 2026 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

Once again the UK electorate have demonstrated that, no, they have not earned the privilege to handle a pair of scissors in case they run through the nursery brandishing them

So nice of waffling gargoyle Nigel Farage to respond to the first bit of pushback he has received from the UK press due to pocketing a £5m bung from a crypto magnate by posting the name and photo of one a photographer who was there, which definitely won't have his followers harassing the person they know the name and NUJ number of...

Turd that won't flush Tony Blair appears to have spent too much time hanging around registered sex offender Donald Trump, judging by the utterly insane twaddle (that's 5600 words of insane twaddle) about how Keir Starmer needs to appeal to the "radical centre" as if such a thing exists while his ten point plan to fix Britain sounded like a crypo fascist's manifesto

Valid reason to burn data centres to the ground Peter Theil had the sudden urge to up and run to Argentina the moment a potential audit was coming his way. Can't think of any other examples from the past ninety years of architects of far-right regimes dashing off to South America at the first sign of trouble, of course...

The genius of billionaire manchild Elon Musk knows no bounds after he took Sam Altman and OpenAI to court - and the jury unanimously told that he was a dumb shit, as he took it to trial after the statute of limitations had expired

Of course Mikel Arteta was vomiting out excuse after excuse in the wake of Arsenal failing to cheat their way to Champions League glory, up to and including claiming he had spent the days leading up to the final looking at footage of every penalty awarded in the competition as "proof" that Noni Madueke's dive should have got a pen - which unwittingly gave an insight into his coaching methods, as he apparently didn't coach his players to actually play fucking football

I'm sure that there is a good reason why Russia Today seem to be particularly determined to criticise the Onionfied Infowars every breath they get, and no reason whatsoever to ask why Russian State media appears to be very upset that Infowars now has new owners

It appears that registered sex offender Donald Trump invested somewhere between $1m-5m in Kurasushi, basically the Japanese version of Yo Sushi, rather than Japanese AI vomiter Fujikura. Good luck convincing anybody you passed those Montreal Cognitive Assessment tests they keep putting in front of you Donny...

Quite remarkable that Southampton FC managed to cost themselves a potential return to the Premier League and the estimated £200m that comes with it by openly spying on Middlesbrough in the leadup to their playoff, and it soon turned out that wasn't the first case of this happening this season

Congratulations to Ronda Rousey and Gina Carano for doing just as much for MMA as Jake Paul has done for boxing with their 17-second main event bout

The always-charming Novak Djokovic responded well to his third round French Open loss to Joao Fonseca...only kidding, he was harrumphing his way through the match as it was clear the momentum was shifting against him, getting stroppier and stroppier the more it looked inevitable his two-set lead was evaporating

So after WWE released a batch of wrestlers, some of whom they asked to take significant pay cuts to stay with the company, they show particular tonedeafness by announcing that Nick Khan had signed a new contract with a significant pay raise