Dr. Laurent

i n t r o d u c t i o n

dear Dominique

Dr. Laurent, our team of scientists hates you, resign.

Dr. Laurent, you stupid idiot, stop wearing stilettos and a tight skirt to the lab.

Dear Dr. Laurent, thank you for the digital rose you sent last night. In return, I am sending you a bottle of Château Montrose, which should have already been delivered. Enjoy your time.

I thought I’d spend the night sleeping in my car, until a bunch of feminine men started begging me for a ride.

i...i think i miss my husband....

Purely hypothetical question. Let’s say you have a completely ordinary trash bag approximately 6’6” tall and somewhere around 200 pounds. Maybe slightly more now that I think about it. And for reasons that are entirely mundane and legally uninteresting, this trash bag needs to disappear from your home as soon as possible. Unfortunately, you cannot lift it alone, and inviting other people to witness the existence of this trash bag would create unnecessary complications. There is nothing suspicious inside the bag. Only Christmas decorations. Yes, I have way too much junk in my apartment. There’s a tree in the bag. It’s rotting.

Dr. Laurent, in your last letter, you asked how I found your blog. What can I say—the internet is full of mysteries, and this is one of them. I'm starting to think about starting my own and posting my research results there. What do you think?

Dr. Laurent, would you like to join me at the conference this Sunday?

Good afternoon, Dr. Laurent. Please tell Dr. Sievert that her findings are complete nonsense!