lost in the sauce

Your mental problems can be solved by eating meat and potatoes

the clock & calculator apps are like twin sisters to me

number...

is goncharov (1973) really that much less real than whatever show the destiel bloggers have been watching with their extrasensory perception for 15 years

welp. to the shredder

the bravery of a girl who has to decide what is for dinner and then cook it and then wash dishes every day forever and ever.

That's called being an adult

no it’s called being the bravest girl on planet earth

Engineers going to uni for years to learn what beavers 🦫 know intuitively. Embarrassing.

just saw a billboard where all you could see was "yippee here's"

i love the C: drive it's like my computer is smiling at me

i have bad news about the D: drive

heard that the queen is spending some time upstate on this big farm with other queens, where she's got lots of room to run around and play

none of yall know what propaganda actually is, do you?

when 2 buses pass each other and the bus drivers don't wave at each other like omg....did you guys break up....

If I were a security guard for a person who’s being targeted by assassins I simply wouldn’t devote my entire attention span to every single noise I hear.

Why do I care if there’s a random noise in this out-of-the-way dark corner? My post is right here.

But… but I threw a rock there. Y-you gotta check

If I hear a noise I’m gonna throw a flash grenade in that direction.

MY EYES AND EARS

4 years of community assassin college for nothing

Dont care didnt ask plus the sleeves of your wizard robe are embarrassingly short