*active on instagram*

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

I fucking hate riddles they're always like "I take all my clothes off every night. When I go to bed, I am fully clothed. How is this possible??" And then the answers like "I put on my clothes again before I go to bed." Fuck off cunt

i don’t get it omg

who the fuck is party cannon they’re the true rebels here

i like this evil post

heh... our shared mutual just reblogged that post from ME and not you. how does that make you feel

i can domesticate him

-some ancient Egyptian staring at a cat, circa 7500BC

- Some ancient cat staring at an Egyptian, circa 7500 BC

d..d...do you w-w-wanna 👉👈😳😳😳 do you wanna....😔😔😔 do you wanna...............come over and eat concrete with me 👉👈🥺

“never meet your heroes” is about how you shouldn’t look at your favorite writers’ twitter accounts

seeing someone’s work on ao3 after seeing their username on tumblr is like seeing your friend dressed up in formalwear when 2 hours ago they were eating pizza in their sweats on your couch

and then when you see a writer who you know mainly from ao3 on tumblr it’s like running into the local news anchor at the grocery store you know who they are but they’ve never seen you before

#running into ao3 authors on here is like #who let me jump over the rope at the red carpet and exist on the same plane as those with talent