Deuces, Nerds

He sipped his own drink, happy to be back. Throwing an arm around her for a brief, yet awkward side hug, he laughed at the suffering she was forced to endure without him. “I had plenty of fresh meat to hug. Even got a number or two. Course I told them I was married and my wife Mary would hate me to cheat. By the way, to a few people in Canada, you’re my wife now.”

“Aw, aren’t you a sweetheart. Now I’m jealous you didn’t take me with. But hey, at least you didn’t cheat on your favorite wife. That’d be just devastating, huh?” The sarcasm in her voice was evident, but followed with another laugh. 

“Please, I’m a master of bad pickup lines. Wine being my favorite happens to make it ironic, I guess. But I’m pretty sure they can’t scold me for whine. At least not too much.” She raises her glass a bit for emphasis. 

the lock screen is first, and then home screen is second. 

@cxntrary liked for a starter

“I’d say I hadn’t noticed, but we both know it’s way too quiet here when you aren’t around. That and also the lack of fresh meat to bug. Life is tragic, huh?”

“Unintentionally annoying. Drunk people are adorable, but I haven’t had enough to appreciate their enthusiasm yet.” The girl couldn’t been more than a year or two above legal, though she spoke like this was regular practice and smirked like the devil as she did.

She supposed she did - that was why she’d gone out to have a good time instead of hanging around Salem. “Thanks; now I definitely have to buy you a drink though. I’m Gory - like horror movies. My parents had a wonderfully sick sense of humor.”

“I mean, you don’t have to, but damn it’d be nice of you. Love thy neighbor and whatever.” She joked a bit, extending a hand. “Mary. You know like the virgin? Though I don’t think my parents expected my life to turn out so ironically.”

“Or the pretty lies and picket fences are a fallacy the town has built for itself to keep living in a blissful ignorance. Thinking it’ll keep sanity but in reality only driving insanity for residents further and reaching out farther to spread.” She’s getting rather depressing here isn’t she?

She lets out a snorting laugh at that. “Shit, dude. I mean, you proabably have a point, but we don’t gotta get dark about it this early. Maybe after a few shots, but I can’t be sober to talk this kind of deep stuff.”She should probably be more concerned, but she isn’t. 

“Sounds like the people listening have never heard the phrase ‘Drunk words, sober thoughts’ before. But if being drunk is the only way you can be honest with your thoughts, I suppose that works about as well as anything else.” That’s not very good advice like at all…

“Who knows, maybe the people who know me just don’t want to believe it. White picket fences and pretty lies and whatever. Helps us keep our sanity at times, I guess.” She raises her glass a bit. She shouldn’t be taking this as advice. 

(throwback to that time ernest almost set the christiansen’s lawn on fire. (not to be confused with the time that he did set the lawn on fire.))

“You know there’s nothing wrong with letting people know how you feel.” Says the woman that hasn’t been honest about her feelings in over twenty years.

“Oh, I let people know all the time. But luckily no one pays attention to drunk ramblings. So it does pay off.” She scoffs at that. 

Reblog if I could just drop a starter in your ask and you wouldn’t mind

“Unintentionally annoying. Drunk people are adorable, but I haven’t had enough to appreciate their enthusiasm yet.” The girl couldn’t been more than a year or two above legal, though she spoke like this was regular practice and smirked like the devil as she did.

       I KNOW THAT I’M PERFECT        EVEN THOUGH I’M FUCKED UP

god she made him so nervous. his skin tingling and the urge to run bubbled up. a soft swear escaped his lips as she moved to sit next to him. dammit, dammit. “i wouldn’t say that, aren’t there other guys you wanna bother than little old me?”

The tone of her voice gave away that she could tell the nervousness. That she was doing this on purpose.