'love yourself so no man ever has to.'

“ he has a better side ? ” he asks, drawn out with faux shock. he’s quick to regain himself with a sigh and shake of his head. “ you don’t think i have ? every night, gen. when it’s just the two of us, and there are no possibilities of ruining whatever reputation he’s made for himself. but it’s like pulling teeth. no matter how hard i try, the notion is not reciprocated. if anything, it just reminds me how frustrating he is. ”

“ a cute date for dustin, huh ? lock me in the dungeons, he will have a ball. or better yet, string me by my feet from the tallest tower. i think that will be the closest you’ll ever get to him being happy. ”

he considers it with a cock of his head. if anyone can handle dustin - and if dustin is going to listen to anyone - it certainly is evelyn. she’ll keep him in check, and perhaps that will actually progress them forward. “ i’m not against the idea. but it will be much more difficult to convince dustin. ” 

“ a date with a chaperone ? it’s like you’re asking for him to poke at me. ” dustin would never let him hear the end of it. it would be like they were two young lovers, not yet betrothed and in need of adult supervision. “ and who, pray tell, would be chaperoning this date. you ? ”

“ well ... yes. though i never know how serious he’s being. ” or if he can be serious at all. “ besides, it would feel ... wrong. royals do it all the time, i know, but ... ” it would be so easy ; he was king after all. anyone would rush to join him in his bed. “ ... i promised myself to my husband, and my husband alone, as insufferable and irritating as he is. ”

“ there will never be a good part. it’s all sad exposition ; no happily ever after. ” he lets out a long, drawn out sigh. “ i will never have my prince charming. don’t you see how upsetting that is for me ? some sympathy would be nice. ”

he couldn’t scoff fast enough. “ i think he’d rather die and fall to the ninth circle of hell where he belongs. ” despite their shared nights together in the same bedroom, the very closest he had ever been with anyone - with the very last person who is supposed to be just anyone - dustin is just as prickly as he was night of their wedding, albeit a bit cockier.

falling in step beside her, he raises an eyebrow and takes a quick glance behind him. their security is already topnotch; they live in a palace. but one can never be too safe ( such comes along with the life of a royal ). “ if it will make you more comfortable, then i suppose i can speak with the general later. i have to keep all of your attention on me after all. can’t have you distracted. ”

“ so startled by little old me ? ” he steps forward, the light hitting him. “ perhaps being king really has made me more intimidating. ” 

“ oh i’m sure he’ll be devastated, ” he agrees with a roll of his eyes. “ anyone would be lucky to kiss me. sadly i don’t think he’s earned that right. ”

he laughs. “ if he’s cinderella, he’s most certainly not getting any kiss at midnight from anyone. “

“ but he’d look so hideous in a dress, ” he points out. perhaps she has a point. dustin isn’t as horrible as he’d been when he first got to the palace. but that in no way means anything more than tolerance. 

a part of him wants to snap at her, but he’s too impressed with her confidence. “ i just don’t want you getting your hopes up for nothing. “ he shuts the cover of his book, putting aside. “ dustin and i aren’t some fairytale. “

“ just because we aren’t at each other’s throats does not mean that he’s fond of me. ” he can’t even imagine a world where that makes any logical sense.

he clears his throat. “ don’t get your hopes up. he was probably thinking of his next torture tactic. ” he doesn’t even understand why he and dustin are such a hot topic. royals who dislike each other get married all the time.

“ define better, ” he scoffs, still not looking up from his book. he supposes there have been far less yelling, but that’s nothing to get your hopes up over.

“i’m not stopping you.” he flips a page in his book. “but then again, i’m not the one you’ll get in trouble with.”