&. * RAVAGE & REPEAT.

               veins suffocate against the guise of hedonistic pleasures , substance ridden & unadulterated . every touch more exaggerated than the last , enough to cause a hitch of breath with every brush of bare skin , with every press of lips upon heated features . blissful , it was , to feel every worry & pretense of insecurity vanish within an airy chest . she's electric , every sound , sensation , heightened until the only thing left to be felt is release . pupil ridden hues focus , after many failed attempts , on him . every feature now a seamless imprint within a marred mind .   '   are you flying yet ?   '   quiet , words still lingering on her tongue . she moves palms to rest on reddened cheeks , the space between two bodies already dangerously close . thumbs brush flushed skin , lips curling into a grin wide enough to seemingly punctuate the pressure within an already tensed jaw . light laughter falls through brims , as though the question she asked only moments ago has already been forgotten , replaced with the numbing sensation of uncensored euphoria . her grip against features loosens , yet remains present  --  a live wire demanding to be felt .   '   i promised you fun .   ' 

               lingering bouts of insecurity become more & more prominent against his words , feeling as though she had an obligation to meet a perceived image . one of which she feels incapable of creating . she offers a weak smile , significantly less pronounced than the one plastered against features during the previous hour .   '   please , you can't think all of that . . . i haven't given you a reason to . ever , i don't think . . .   '   she trails off , tone barely audible at this point . the diminishing sensation of euphoria is now replaced with a sense of uncertainty ; she wants it gone , to return back to the over - arching adoration which consumed prior . that is until she remembers , remembers the artificial happiness which clung against her figure , waiting to be used .   '   you would do whatever i asked ? would you be willing . . . to have more fun tonight ?   '   without waiting for an answer , digits move from his form & now line the cut of her dress , falling inward against padding before pulling out a clear , small bag . two capsules , one now residing in her palm , the other remaining concealed in plastic .   '   pretty please ?   '   palm extends , waiting for him to reach just before retracting , placing the pill against a visible tongue . gaze is now nothing less than daring ,   '   take it .   '

               maybe she did this to herself , allowing for the substances coursing through veins to devour her , guide her in every direction which she should have avoided given a sober mind . yet , no matter the circumstance , he always seems to derive a feeling of longing which she is incapable of feeling with any other person . especially now , skin comparable to an open - flame with every graze & brush ; it’s heated .  –  she’s smiling into the kiss for a moment , before lips part & hands snake their way around his torso ; one landing on the small of his back , the other just above .   ’   i love you ,   ’   is breathed against his lips , inaudible & chaste . it’s unconscious , a statement which a drug ridden tongue was incapable of stopping . she desires for everything she can’t have .   ’   what’s stopping you ?   ‘   the question lingers with a sense of challenge , tone still honeyed enough to mask its edge . it’s tantalizing , how she’s unable to control just how much she needs him in that very moment , how much she yearns for any act of affection he has to offer . yet an over - inflated sense of confidence takes place of any insecurity she may have felt prior , & she uses it to her advantage , plays against his own statement . palm now presses atop the hand on her thigh , gaze akin with something both intrepid & alluring ,   ’   prove it .   ’

               it’s fairly common , many would say , for her to take any opportunity of inebriation & use it to better herself , make her feel anything other than grating insecurity . a feeling which she would be sure to fulfill later , but now , elation & affection seemingly consume her . digits wrap around maybe her fourth , fifth , drink of the night ( she’s lost count ) , before the cup is brought to reddened lips . a burning sensation follows , however she disregards it the moment she sees her , gaze almost forcing a sense of obligation . she considers it sad , really , how someone would be able to disregard such festivities . considers it even bothersome in her current state . body shifts , rapid steps being taken to reach the couch on the other side of the room . she sits down beside her before even giving a proper introduction . what she had to say felt more important , so it would seem .   ’   you look like you don’t want to be here … it’s depressing .   ’   she gestures the cup to the woman beside her , an offering which she expects to be taken . a feigned , playful pout follows .   ’   you can’t say no to someone who’s drunk . against the rules , i made them .   ’  @indolenc.

               it felt right , inhibitions seemingly lost the moment the first sip of alcohol passed through ample lips , & everything just felt right . the smile which graces flushed features as he accepts her promise matches no other , wide enough where eyes are almost that of crescents .   ’   forever …   ’   she hums , more so to herself than him . she’s unsure if the word is even heard , yet tone still lingers with a sense of ever - so - present benevolence . she offers nothing more than a laugh , one of which rumbles within her chest , louder & more prominent than usual , & a beam of overall sincerity . she feels comfort , jovial mirth against his embrace , enough so that she allows for eyes to shut for a passing moment . alcohol is in the works of convincing her this was all real , that it would last beyond the confines of the evening . how naive she was .   ’   forever ,   ‘   she repeats , confirmation . only then do hues open , her posture shifts in the slightest to face him , gaze full of an over - arching fondness .   ’   we could take over the world together . how does that sound ? put forever to the test .   ’

               it's intoxicating , how such hedonism can elicit a reaction of pure bliss - one of which she has become far too familiar with during the proceeding months . she's taken two , both passed through a touch of affection , & any worry following through the next hours melts away into nothing .  --  digits wrap around an almost empty cup , contents of which she remains unknown of . however , while rapid steps are taken towards the bar , she's stopped by a familiar figure , one who shared a moment with during the beginnings of the night . she remembers that much .   '   you feel so good ,   '   she repeats , as though to understand the words to their fullest extent . every touch against skin feels more charged than the last , every nerve & muscle wanting to pulse against its own beat ; her body now controlled by nothing more than a substance of ecstasy . blown pupils never shift their gaze , watching  . . . almost mapping every movement of the other woman , every flicker followed by an amorous glance . fingers brush against the outline of verena's waist , slowly following each contour & line down to the curve of her hips . only then , do palms press against skin , hard , as though they finally found their place against her form .   '   you deserve to feel good ,   '   she hums , soft breath hitting the finger lain against painted - lips . she's so . . . enamored by her , every action , touch , sound , reverberates into an uncontrollable fondness . it's a shared weightlessness that two competing bodies have in common . palms squeeze against verena's hips , lightly now , before an almost guileless giggle passes through brims ,   '   i might as well be flying . everything just feels so much better ,  --   like you here right now , i like it .   '

               she's all consumed by a need to be felt , held within the arms of none other than him . all else seems trivial with every kiss painting an electric path against her skin , enough for breath to slow & heart rate to quicken . he feeds into the false sense of security a seemingly innocent pill only magnified .   '   i know ,   '   she murmurs , lips curling into an amorous beam at the very mention of the name . she offers no opposition to his actions , falling downwards against his figure with nothing short of an intoxicated laugh . genuine fondness overtakes at the statement , as though she already had an answer to offer .   '   more ?   '   a pause ,   '   you just make me feel so good .   '   if it hadn't been for the artificial euphoria coursing through veins , the statement may have held a certain bout of truth . now , however , she doesn't have the choice but to follow the course of mock - bliss , one of which she's forced herself to believe to be real . she takes their closeness as an opportunity to brush reddened lips against his jaw , chaste , before placing a kiss just below his ear . another following just below the first . & another ,  --   another , until the restraint to disconnect is found . both palms rise to his shoulders .   '   i feel so good with you .   '

               she’s enraptured by everything adonis does , every smile which graces his lips to the way he follows every request which leaves brims . & alcohol consumed veins only further the sensation of comfort &  familiarity , LOVE , which she already feels so deeply against every touch he offers .  –   cheeks flush as she simply watches him speak , every phrase leaving a greater sensation of attachment to sit within an airy chest , bubbling until its all - devouring . she hums in response , hues alight with something almost virtuous for a passing moment .   ’   i promise … pinky promise  ?   ’   only then , do palms leave the warmth of his cheeks . one falling to land against his hip , the other extending outward with the pinky finger pointed in his direction . however , a statement which he spoke only seconds prior forces a sense of unease , lips pressing into a line & gaze faltering against his own .   ’   i really do care about you . really do . but i know i’m not the best at showing it … i just want you to know i do . i more than care about you , i love you … this promise also means that you believe me .   ’   slurred ramblings pass through lips before she’s able to even comprehend each , individual word . yet the once glowing look of adoration & fondness is now replaced with genuine question , digit unfaltering ,   ’   promise ?   ’

               '   i'd never lie to you ,   '   she hums , tone consumed with an almost over - bearing ecstasy . yet , it still bestows nothing other than the truth . every touch of bare skin elicits a need , a yearning that only he seems to be able to satiate & he seemingly does with every action .  --  lips part against his , slightly , enough for hues to close in hedonistic euphoria . the action makes her feel so much more , so much stronger than in any other circumstance , & it consumes her until the moment he pulls away . an unknowing pout now graces features until transforming into something libertine .   '   i love . . .   '   digits tap against the small of his back , dragging against his form until reaching the front of his hips . she lingers , just for a moment .   '   how beautiful you are ,   '   moving up his torso , stopping against the center of his chest , fingertips now toying with the fabric .   '   how you make me feel ,   '   it's soft spoken , yet her gaze never leaves his . blown pupils full of an adoration which even she hadn't known was held for him .   '   i love everything about you . i just . . . love you .   '

               it's suffocating , how hard she feels , loves , hurts , . . . but never with him . there's a sense of familiarity only he knows , one of which only he understands & it brings forth the beginnings of childlike splendor . times of insobriety seem to be one of the only times she is able to completely lose herself against him . affluent laughter & candid beams taking the place of overly - formulated guises . she doesn't want to look away , mapping every contour & line as though forgetting was even a possible outcome . every word spoken by the other leaves the gaze of affection only to grow into something much stronger , much more fond .   '    you see me whenever you close your eyes ?   '   features tilt , a glint of veritable curiosity coming through with every flicker of hues . it's sincere , the interest which graces her countenance . tongue clicks , as though lost in thought for a mere second only before palms slowly find their place against his cheeks , cupping his features within ringed fingers . petals bloom into an beam of pure ardor , dripping saccharine .   '   close your eyes ,   '   she muses , tone edging demand . pressure against reddened skin now increasing in the slightest . every action is accompanied by a playful tinge ; a game which the two have become more than accustomed to playing . yet through it all , she longs for his touch against hers , wants for nothing more to consume her . however , she does nothing more than lean forward , placing a chaste kiss ( for a single moment & nothing more ) on his lips . she lingers , before pulling back .   '   i want to know if you can see me .   '

               slim digits wrap around a cup with a weak grip , contents of which are seemingly unknown . she’s lost count of the number of drinks she’s consumed in such a short period of time . three , four , five , all blurring together in an attempt of cognizant thought . a thought of which doesn't last even mere moments before pressure falls against her waist , peppered kisses forcing a button - nose to scrunch in response. lips press into a guileless grin .   ‘   why would you miss me , i’m right here …    '   lips curl into something falsely feigned , an attempt to make a quip failing in her current state . rather , an over - enthused giggle flutters through brims instead .   '   i always miss you . a day's waaaaay too long . you agree , right ?   '   she takes the opportunity to shift against his grasp , loosening his hold on her torso just enough for her to turn , just enough for her to lock an inebriated gaze . a beam of genuine excitement seems to grace features at the presence of the other , as though two beings were facing a reunion of months .   '   i was actually about to look for you . i wanted to see you .   '

               she's vacant , the only manifestation of true euphoria coming from a certain drug of choice which passed through honeyed - lips mere hours before . it's the ever - so - present need of intimacy which drives her forward , smothering veins into nothing but an electrifying pulse which plays against every inch of exposed skin .   --   she feels him playing against her waist , soft breath against her neck , pressureless touch against her cheek , all fulfilling a touch she's been yearning for . it's almost hedonistic how much celia relies on him ; how the closeness of two competing bodies forces a sense of unadulterated bliss . the attachment becomes more than she can control .   '   hm . . . how do you want me to do that ?   '   she's unmoving , keeps her back against him with nothing more than a gentle sway . there's a shallow hum before pupil ridden hues shut , & she's weightless . consider it selfish , but every bout of desperation in his tone leaves her wanting more .   '    because i'll love you no matter what .   '

               maybe it's the loss of inhibitions , maybe it's how every word which seems to leave orion's lips has a honeyed tinge , yet it becomes more than enough for her own brims to part against his . longing , lingering , wanting more than all else . if celia hadn't lost a part of herself within him months ago , she might have noticed how every touch leaves a ghosted graze against skin , every part believing that the only means of completion were through him . & now more than ever , she finally belongs .  --  tantalizing , how he plays against every contour of her figure , just enough to leave her yearning . just enough for breath to stall within her chest , forcing nothing more than a tremulous exhale as digits leave her neck , & continue on their venture of allure .   '   yours ,   '   she breathes as pearls sink into her lesser brim . she intends to play , wait to see just how long it will take for his fingers to only linger against her thigh . yet she waits until all attention is on her again .   '   make me ,   '   quiet , irresolute , as though she's testing how the words feel against her tongue . however she still chooses to proceed , an intrepid gaze now coming forth between each flicker of hues . the likeness of a falsely complacent demeanor becomes one of many mistakes .   '   MAKE ME .   '   

               maybe this had been the outcome she was hoping for . every word , action , all leading for a break in his coy demeanor . she relishes it , almost laughs at the sudden loss of constraint adonis has been holding onto for the entirety of their so called conversation . little to no resistance is offered to his pull . it’s mindless , a common result of her games of impulse , leaving her with no option but to follow behind him in a crusade of consequence . one of which she longs for , but couldn’t admit .  –  head tilts against the wall , darkened gaze never seeming to leave his . he’s close enough for her to lose any sense of restraint , close enough to feel her breath against his chest . it’s ecstasy , yet she simply bites her tongue before allowing any words to come forth .   ‘   maybe you should try a little harder .   ’   statement edges with challenge , almost mimicking his tone as though she maintains the guise of control . she wants nothing more than for him to close the already intimate space separating two bodies . yet , lips tug into something resembling an overly indulged simper . consequences be damned , so it would seem .   ’   change my mind  —  & don’t forget to say PLEASE .   ’

                ‘   thoughts on whether or not you have a cursed vagina ? good question , can't tell you , though . but i'm pretty sure your ex is just . . . something else .   '   not necessarily a lie , not necessarily the truth . it's not as though she had enough information to create a proper assessment of the situation , anyways . fingers curl around the neck of the bottle , glass being brought to painted - lips with a long , desensitized pull . she passes the bottle before any objection can be made . celia's listening whether or not her body language makes it known : head tilts back as figure remains seated in the chair opposite the bed , legs crossed , & eye contact barely made at this point of the conversation as hues search the ceiling for something , anything . the quota for usefulness seems to have expired at some point during that night .   '   i think you just need to fuck a girl & move on . those are my thoughts .   '